Reckless

Chapter 20

Toni's heavy eyes blinked shut the moment she and Spencer climbed back into bed together. She slept the kind of peaceful dreamless sleep that was hard to come by in her line of work. Often, the violent imagery she saw during her waking hours followed her into unconsciousness. Toni told herself that she slept well because of how tired she was. She wasn't sure if she was ready to admit that the warm press of Spencer's body against hers was what held her nightmares at bay.

Spencer's body shifted slightly when Toni slid across the bed and out of his arms. But his breathing remained slow and even. She hadn't woken him. The sun was just starting to peek up over the horizon, though the heavy curtains were blocking most of it from entering the room. Toni crept into the hotel bathroom, not flicking the light on until she had the door completely shut behind her.

Glancing at her reflection in the mirror, Toni shook her head and fought back a silent chuckle. The thick lengths of her dark hair were a tangled mess, especially in the back of her head. It was going to be a disaster to comb out. Toni made a mental note to braid her hair back before their next sexual encounter to keep that from happening again. The insides of her thighs were coated in both her arousal and his release. And she was pretty sure there was a love bite on the spot where her neck met her shoulder.

Toni's stomach was growing and rolling, protesting the late night takeout meal she shared with Spencer. She didn't eat late at night. And if she did, she certainly didn't eat pizza. "Don't do this to me," Toni whispered, glancing down at her rumbling tummy. The last thing she needed to do after a memorably romantic evening was to blow up Spencer's hotel bathroom. Even if it was sort of his fault for telling her that she was beautiful, her body was perfect, and a little pizza never hurt anyone. "Nope," Toni declared. "It's time to go." One more look at the disaster that was her hair and Toni made her decision. She was going back to her own room, where she could shower off the evidence of their tryst, brush the knots from her hair, and use the bathroom in peace.

Toni never unpacked. So after she retrieved her robe from the floor near the bed, all she had to do was stick her toothbrush and body wash in her bag and she was ready to go. Toni grabbed a pen and the small pad of paper from near the hotel phone. She wrote a quick message explaining where she went so that Spencer wouldn't worry about her when he woke up. Once her note was resting on the bedside table, Toni should have just left. But she couldn't resist giving him a kiss goodbye. Smoothing a stray curl of hair out of Spencer's face, Toni kissed his forehead and then his lips. She lingered there for a moment, relishing in the feel of his mouth on hers. He was gorgeous. But sleep took all the worry lines from his face, leaving him looking years younger and so handsome that she was tempted to climb back under the covers and wake him by wrapping her lips around his dick.

Toni forced herself back, slinging the strap of her packed duffle bag over her shoulder before she headed for the door. Since she was only going two doors down, she didn't bother putting her shoes on. The hallway carpet was rough against the bottoms of her bare feet.

She only made it one step out the doorway before she felt Spencer's hands on her. "What are you doing?," he asked, his voice still heavy with sleep. "Come back to bed."

Toni giggled as Spencer pulled her into his arms. He was naked aside from the pair of briefs he pulled on to sleep in. And he was pitching an impressive tent in the front of them. Toni could feel it pressing against her stomach, making her already spent insides tingle with anticipation. She giggled as she attempted to wriggle from Spencer's grasp, but his arms were long and he had a firm hold on her.

"I need to go back to my room and shower," she protested.

"There's a shower here," Spencer argued. His lips found her neck. He kissed and sucked at the sensitive skin behind her ear as he took a step back, attempting to pull Toni back into his room so he could shut the door behind them. "I'll take a shower with you," he suggested.

Toni squeaked her protest when his hands found her ass and squeezed. She was trying her best not to laugh at the doorway wrestling match they were having and failing miserably. "I don't need to shower…," she said, gasping and trying not to moan when his lips found her collarbone. "I mean I do need to shower. But I also need to use the bathroom and I can't do that with you around."

Spencer paused his assault on her neck as what she was implying sunk in. When he realized what she meant, his body began to shake with laughter. "Toni, everyone uses the bathroom. It's a normal bodily function."

"I still can't do it with you around," Toni whined.

Spencer laughed as he hugged her against him. "Give me a kiss before you go at least," he requested. Toni was quick to nod her head and agree to that. She rose up on her tiptoes, cupping the back of his head with her hand and kissing him like he was going off to war instead of just back to his bed to sleep alone. Taking this as a sign that she might be willing to stay in his room with him after all, Spencer wrapped his arms around her waist. When he tried to pull her back another step, Toni broke the kiss and wiggled from his grasp. "I'll see you soon, Mi Rey," she teased, pushing him back and jerking the door shut. Toni laughed as she reached for her bag. She dropped it in the hallway when Spencer grabbed her. But when she glanced up, suddenly she wasn't laughing anymore.

Luke was standing in the hallway, just outside the door to the hotel staircase. He was half a hallway away, but obviously still close enough to have seen and heard everything that just happened between her and Spencer. He was holding Roxy's leash in his hand. Toni didn't think anyone else would be awake at such an early hour. Luke must have gotten up to take his dog out. His mouth was hanging slightly open, mirroring the expression of total shock that was showing in his one good eye. Before Toni could say anything, Luke turned and darted into the stairwell, taking Roxy with him.

Toni wasn't dating her former partner. She wasn't doing anything wrong by carrying on a relationship with another man. But that didn't stop her from feeling an immediate swell of guilt and regret. Toni cursed under her breath. She cared about Luke and certainly didn't mean for him to find out about her and Spencer like this. Even if he didn't have some lingering feelings for her, she knew Luke would still be hurt by the fact that she was keeping things from him. They used to tell each other everything.

"Luke," Toni gasped. "Wait!"

Leaving her bag, Toni rushed down the hallway towards the stairwell. She held her robe closed as she ran, her bare feet slapping against the carpet. Once she pushed the stairwell door open, Toni yelled his name again. "Luke, please! I'm sorry! I didn't mean for you to see that…"

Luke must have been rushing to put as much distance between them as he could. He was already halfway between their floor and the next one down. The concrete scratched Toni's feet as she rushed after him. She ignored the uncomfortable sensation and kept going, calling out to him again. "Luke," Toni called out. "Please stop! Let me explain!"

Toni breathed a sigh of relief when the heavy tread of Luke's boots on the steps stopped. He turned, stomping back up the stairs with Roxy trailing behind him. Toni was perched on the edge of the staircase landing, holding her robe closed with her toes curling over the top step. When Luke rounded the corner, the intense expression on his face made her take a few steps back.

"Explain?," he scolded. "I'm not the one you should worry about explaining things to. That'll be your new unit chief." Luke joined her on the landing. His eyes flicked over her, taking in her disheveled appearance. "What the hell were you thinking?," he asked. Toni parted her lips to answer. But Luke didn't wait for her response before he peppered her with more questions. "What's gotten into you? You don't sleep around at work… In fact, you don't sleep around at all. You've worked so hard for so long to get accepted into the BAU. This is your dream job. Why the hell would you throw it away for some guy you just met?"

Toni swallowed hard. She tried her best to choke the truth back. But it came bubbling out of her before she could stop it. "I didn't just meet him," she admitted. "He's Romeo's father." Toni slapped her hand down over her own mouth to keep herself from saying anything else. Finally admitting the truth was as freeing as it was terrifying. It was the first time she actually said the words out loud. They felt like they were hanging above her in a dark cloud, threatening to rain consequences down on top of her.

"What?," Luke asked. He stepped back, steadying himself by placing his hand on the guard rail. For a moment, he just stood there with a shocked expression on his face. But when that faded, it was replaced with one of irritation. "He's Romeo's father?," he confirmed, pointing his finger upwards towards the door they entered the stairwell from. "Where the hell has he been for the last five years?," Luke demanded. Toni's only answer was a slight shake of her head. But the rest of the truth must have shown on her face. Because it only took Luke about half a second to determine why Spencer Reid had nothing to do with his own son for the entirety of his life. "He doesn't know, does he?," Luke concluded.

Toni shook her head again. She could feel the tears welling up behind her eyes, threatening to spill over.

"Toni!," Luke exclaimed. "You're sleeping with him and he doesn't know you have a fucking kid together?" He raked his hand through the short dark waves of his hair.

Toni swiped at her eyes with the backs of her hands, trying unsuccessfully to wipe away her tears before they started to run down her cheeks. "I'm going to tell him," she said. Her voice was shaking as badly as her hands. "Eventually, I'll tell him… It's just that…" She paused, sucking in a hard breath of air. "It's going so well between us… and Romeo seems to like him, and…" Toni paused, unable to continue on with all her lame excuses. She took a deep breath. And then she admitted the real reason behind her reluctance to tell Spencer the truth.

"I'm fucking terrified to tell him."

Toni was scared that Spencer would walk away. He might not want anything to do with her or Romeo. She was even more scared of what it might mean if he didn't walk away. He might want to try and take her son away from her. And most of all, she was terrified that Spencer would stay with her out of obligation and not because he wanted to be with her. She wasn't her mother. Toni would never use her son to manipulate a man into being with her.

Her world was starting to spin when Luke wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He pulled Toni against his chest and let her cry until she was able to choke off her tears. Rubbing his hand over her back, he spoke more gently to her than he had before. "He has a right to know," Luke whispered.

"I know," Toni agreed. "I just don't even know where to start."

Luke kept his arm around her shoulders as he led her over towards the steps that led up to their hotel rooms. He sat down on the second step up, pulling Toni down next to him. She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. For the first time in a long time, she didn't feel the awkward tension between them.

"You really like him huh?," Luke asked. There was a hint of teasing amusement to his voice. It made Toni smile through the last of her tears. "I mean, no offense, but he's kind of a weird dude."

"He's not weird!," Toni snipped, the shakiness suddenly gone from her voice now that someone dared to insult the object of her infatuation. Luke took one look at her and burst into laughter.
"Oh!," he teased. "You do like him."

"Shut up," Toni huffed. She leaned back and shoved at him, laughing when Roxy pushed between them in her attempt to keep them from messing with each other. "Besides, you're one to talk," Toni countered. "You're lecturing me about sleeping around at work while you're plowing our technical analyst."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Luke lied, his face already flushing pink. Toni glanced over at him and laughed. He shifted, nervously adjusting his eyepatch. "What did she say about me?," he asked.

Toni laughed harder, leaning into Luke's side and bumping her head against his shoulder. "I think we have some catching up to do," she suggested. "I need to go back to my room and shower. But after, would you like to have an early morning coffee with me?"

Luke smiled back at her. From the moment they met, the friendship between them was effortless. Toni trusted him more than even her own family. She could tell him anything. And for the first time since Luke was attacked by the Crimson King, Toni felt that part of their relationship click back into place. From his smile, Toni guessed he was feeling the same way. He pulled her into his side before he answered her question. "I'd really like that."