Author Note:
It's my birthday, I can't throw a party, but hey, what better way to celebrate than with a new story?
I published a new story: Thousands Of Spells Away. It's a crossover between 'Naruto' and 'Frieren: Beyond Journey's End'. Go and check it out!
My one year anniversary on this site is coming soon: 29th December.
After 350 days on this platform, I've written 22 stories (yes, all ongoing—none abandoned) with over 900K words in total and nearly half a million views. I proofread everything myself—no editors or betas here—and somehow manage to write over 35K words every week while updating at least 8 stories weekly.
A huge thanks to:
…impashadows, SentinalSlice, Traitor of All Traitors, Samuel Santillan, ArashiNokitsune, Redone1977, Shisui No Akatsuki, EnoshimaYuno29, GodlyVortexofPain, Pinkypi, Joanne Frances Tiano Cajilig, FangofFire…
…for your unwavering support, help, and motivation. Apologies to everyone I couldn't mention, but know that I appreciate all of you.
And for those people who annoy me with copy-n-paste business offers in the review sections and PM… I have nothing to say.
I would like to remind you something: anybody writing here writes not for money and readers certainly aren't paying, so if you want to yell or waste your strength, do it somewhere else. Unless you have anything productive to say, go away. Don't like my story or MC? Think you can do better or can spend more time than me? Then be my guest, write one story yourself and let others be the humble judges.
Lastly, here are some highlights from my works:
Best Story: The Crystal Sage
Most Popular: Eyes That Hold The Heavens
Most Loved: A Greedy Witch in a Fantasy World
My admission test is on January so there will be irregular updates.
Thank you for sticking by my side. Here's to more stories and better writing ahead!
~Phoenix
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Android in the Land of Snow: II
An Android Tries Acting
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The director's voice echoed across the icy deck of the ship. "Action!"
Yukie Fujikaze, wrapped in layers of period-appropriate but clearly uncomfortable robes, stood trembling against the biting wind. Before her, a faux snow-covered mound lay solemnly, symbolizing the freshly dug grave of her comrade, Shishimaru. The crew huddled behind the cameras, shielding themselves from the cold with thick blankets while the assistant director barked positioning orders at the extras.
Yukie took a deep breath, her expression wavering as she stepped forward. Her face twisted into an admirable mix of grief and resolve as she knelt by the mound. Her gloved hands reached out, trembling as if from an internal storm rather than the freezing air.
"Oh, Shishimaru," she began, her voice wavering with just the right touch of sorrow. "Why… why did it have to be you? You were too brave… too kind…" Her voice broke, and she covered her mouth, letting the emotion hang in the air like a frostbitten whisper.
The director leaned closer, his scarf wrapped tightly around his face, clearly impressed. "Good, good!" he muttered to himself.
But then, Yukie hesitated. Her hand, still trembling, dropped from her face, and she turned toward the crew. "Stop! Stop, stop!" she cried, standing up abruptly and shaking her head.
The director sighed and threw up his hands. "Cut!"
"I can't do it!" Yukie exclaimed, frustration painting her face. "I just can't cry on command. I'm not a miracle worker, alright?!"
Her bespectacled assistant, the ever-silent man with round glasses, immediately scurried forward, holding a small, clear bottle. Without a word, he handed it to Yukie, who snatched it up with a huff. "Eyedrops again?" she grumbled under her breath. "This is embarrassing…"
As Yukie begrudgingly dabbed the fake tears into her eyes, Naruto, standing stiffly off to the side like a judgmental mannequin, scoffed. Her arms were crossed, her glowing sapphire eyes narrowing slightly. "Pathetic," she said in her usual monotone voice, loud enough for everyone to hear. "Crying is… simple. I could do it… better. Dattebayo."
Sakura, standing beside her and bundled in her winter coat, turned sharply. "Naruto, could you not?" she hissed, glancing nervously at the director.
But Naruto was already stepping forward with her signature robotic swagger, her black gloves contrasting sharply against the snowy deck as she pointed at Yukie. "I will… demonstrate. Observe and learn, inferior actress. Dattebayo."
Kakashi, leaning lazily against the ship's railing, sighed and muttered to himself, "Here we go…"
The crew exchanged nervous glances as Naruto dramatically flung herself onto her knees in front of the grave prop, her black frilly dress peeking out from beneath her winter coat. She placed one gloved hand on her chest and extended the other toward the mound. Her face twisted into what could only be described as an over-the-top imitation of grief—complete with loud, mechanical gasping noises.
"Oh, Shishimaru!" she wailed in her flat, robotic tone, her stiff movements making the whole thing look like a puppet show. "Why… why did it have to be you?! Your bravery was… unparalleled! Your kindness… inefficient but admirable! Dattebayo!"
Lee, watching from the sidelines, looked genuinely moved. "Naruto-chan! Such youthful emotion!"
Sakura buried her face in her hands. "Oh my god…"
Naruto, undeterred by the collective facepalming around her, clenched her fists and let out a robotic sob that sounded more like a malfunctioning blender. Then, to everyone's horror, black streaks began to drip from her glowing sapphire eyes, rolling down her pale, creamy skin like the most unsettling tears anyone had ever seen.
"Is that… ink?" one of the crew members whispered, his face pale.
Yukie, still holding the eyedrops, gawked at Naruto. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"
Naruto sniffed theatrically, the black ink continuing to drip from her eyes and staining the snow beneath her. "My grief is… unparalleled," she stated flatly, looking up at Yukie with her eerily glowing eyes. "Unlike you, I do not require… assistance. Dattebayo."
"Unparalleled, huh?" Sakura hissed, storming over to Naruto and grabbing her by the arm. "Naruto, you're embarrassing all of us! Get up, now!"
Naruto allowed herself to be hauled to her feet but remained perfectly stiff, her expression unchanging. "My performance was… flawless," she declared, her tone as arrogant as ever. "The ink enhances the authenticity. Dattebayo."
The director, who had been staring at the scene in stunned silence, suddenly snapped out of it and yelled, "What the heck was that?! Who let her on set?!"
Yukie rolled her eyes and handed the eyedrops back to her assistant. "Unbelievable," she muttered. "Now I look good by comparison…"
Lee knelt beside Naruto, his thick eyebrows furrowing with determination as he carefully dabbed at her cheeks with a white handkerchief. "Do not fret, Naruto-chan!" he declared with his usual fiery enthusiasm. "Your youthful tears of ink are a testament to your passion! I shall ensure you are spotless!"
Naruto, sitting stiffly like a malfunctioning mannequin, adjusted her blue furry overcoat with an air of indifference. "Hmph. The ink only proves my superiority," she stated robotically, her glowing sapphire eyes fixated on Lee. "However… I will permit you to assist. Consider it… an honour. Dattebayo."
Lee smiled brightly, as if her monotone arrogance didn't faze him in the slightest. "It is always an honour, Naruto-chan!" he chirped, wiping the last streak of ink from her pale skin.
Meanwhile, a few paces away, Sasuke leaned casually against the railing, arms crossed, watching Yukie cry dramatically under Kakashi's unimpressed gaze. Yukie's sobs were exaggerated, her wailing echoing across the snowy deck, but the tears glistened perfectly under the cold sunlight—thanks to the magic of her assistant's eyedrops.
"Hn," Sasuke muttered under his breath, the corners of his mouth twitching in a rare display of disdain. "This is why I don't watch behind-the-scenes stuff. Acting's heartwarming in cinemas, but in person? Cringe-worthy."
Kakashi, reading his beloved Icha Icha novel while standing just behind Yukie, didn't bother looking up. "It's all part of the illusion, Sasuke," he said lazily. "You'd be surprised how much of life is like that. Now stop judging and let her do her job."
Naruto, now freed from Lee's ink-cleaning ministrations, abruptly stood and turned toward Lee with a slight nod. "You have… performed adequately," she said, her words lacking any warmth. "For that, I acknowledge your effort. Dattebayo."
Lee practically glowed with pride, giving her a thumbs-up. "It was my pleasure, Naruto-chan!"
Naruto shifted uncomfortably in her winter clothes, glancing down at her fluffy boots. "These garments are… tolerable," she admitted stiffly. "They enhance my appearance. Perhaps even surpassing my usual high heels. I am… better than expected. Dattebayo."
Sasuke, overhearing her self-praise, snorted softly but said nothing. Instead, he returned his gaze to Yukie, who had now stopped crying and was arguing with the director about lighting angles. He shook his head. "Hn. Actors."
Naruto, oblivious to Sasuke's commentary, reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a small, dog-eared book with a bright orange cover. The title was something generic about improving literacy, and the pages were filled with crude illustrations of kanji strokes. She opened it carefully, shielding it from view with her body, and began practicing the shapes with her finger on the wooden deck.
She muttered to herself in a stiff monotone. "Stroke one… stroke two… Dattebayo."
Lee noticed her odd focus and peered over her shoulder. "Naruto-chan! What youthful study are you engaged in?" he asked, genuinely curious.
Naruto stiffened, her movements jerky as she flipped the book shut with one gloved hand. "Nothing of importance," she said quickly, her voice a little too loud. "I am merely… enhancing my genius. Dattebayo."
But she wasn't quick enough. Sasuke, sharp-eyed as always, caught a glimpse of the book's cover. A slow, sly smirk spread across his face. "Wait a minute…" he said, pushing off the railing and sauntering over. "Are you… practicing kanji?"
Naruto's robotic composure faltered for a split second before she snapped the book behind her back. "I am… perfecting my already flawless skills," she declared, her tone haughty but defensive. "Your feeble mind cannot comprehend my methods. Dattebayo."
Sasuke stopped in front of her, his smirk widening into something bordering on cruel amusement. "You're a Jounin," he said, his voice dripping with mockery. "And you can't even write kanji? Loser is always a loser."
Naruto's glowing sapphire eyes narrowed dangerously, but her stiff demeanor betrayed no other emotion. "You misunderstand," she said, her words measured. "I am not… illiterate. I am merely… refining my calligraphy. Dattebayo."
Sakura, who had been eavesdropping from a distance, stifled a giggle behind her hand. "Naruto, you've got to admit," she teased, walking over. "It's a little weird that you can't write kanji properly when you're, you know, supposed to be a role model."
Naruto turned toward Sakura, her movements unnervingly precise. "I do not require judgment from those… beneath me," she said flatly. "However, I will allow you to admire my dedication. Dattebayo."
Lee, ever the supportive comrade, clapped his hands together. "Naruto-chan's determination to learn is what makes her truly youthful!" he declared. "We should all strive to be as diligent as she is!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure. Diligent."
Naruto, ignoring the snickers, opened her book again, holding it like it was some ancient, forbidden text. She muttered to herself as she traced another kanji in the frost-covered wood of the deck, her expression as serious as ever.
Lee gave her an encouraging thumbs-up. Sasuke and Sakura exchanged an exasperated glance. And Kakashi, leaning casually against the railing, chuckled softly behind his book.
Even in her most ridiculous moments, Naruto somehow managed to make her absurdity an unintentional spectacle for everyone around her. Dattebayo.
Û~Û
The icy wasteland ahead loomed with the menace of a mountain-sized iceberg, its jagged peaks glistening under the pale sunlight. The ship's crew gawked in disbelief, the captain shouting panicked orders to veer away. But the director, a balding man with an oversized scarf and an equally oversized ego, waved his hand dismissively.
"No, no, no! This is perfect!" he shouted, his voice shrill with excitement. "We'll shoot on the iceberg. The drama! The authenticity! This will win awards!"
The crew exchanged nervous glances, but the director's word was law. Soon, Yukie and her entourage were begrudgingly herded onto the colossal iceberg, shivering violently as the biting wind cut through their clothing.
Kakashi sighed, his visible eye half-lidded with exhaustion. "This is insane," he muttered, forming quick hand seals. A modest fireball erupted from his palm, its warmth just out of the camera's view. Sasuke followed suit, conjuring another controlled flame to push back the relentless cold.
Naruto, standing stiffly in her winter outfit, blinked at the display. "Hmph," she muttered, her robotic tone dripping with arrogance. "You call those fireballs? I could do far better. Dattebayo."
Lee, as oblivious as ever, punched the air with enthusiasm. "Naruto-chan, your confidence is as youthful as ever! Show us the power of your flames!"
Sakura, who had been observing this exchange with growing dread, paled visibly. She didn't know what Naruto had in mind, but history had taught her one thing—when Naruto started boasting, it usually ended in disaster. "Nope. I'm out," she muttered, leaping back onto the safety of the ship.
Unfazed, Naruto raised her hand to the sky like some kind of dramatic stage performer. "Prepare yourselves for greatness," she intoned robotically. "Fire Style: Great Flame Annihilation. Dattebayo."
A series of hand seals followed, her movements unnervingly precise. Then, with a deep inhale, she unleashed a tsunami of fire that roared across the horizon, its heat so intense that the iceberg beneath them began to crack and melt at an alarming rate.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" the director screeched, his scarf flailing in the wind as the camera crew scrambled for cover.
Chunks of ice broke off, crashing into the freezing waters below, steam hissing as the fire met the cold. Kakashi's fireball seemed like a sparkler in comparison to the inferno Naruto had unleashed.
Amid the chaos, three figures suddenly burst out of the melting iceberg. Clad in strange armour and white spandex, they landed on the fractured ice with an eerie grace. The leader, a tall man with ice-blue hair and piercing eyes, locked his gaze onto Kakashi for a moment before shifting his attention to Naruto, who stood proudly amidst the destruction, her glowing sapphire eyes devoid of any concern.
Naruto tilted her head stiffly, her voice as monotone as ever. "Tell me," she said, as if reciting a line from a poorly written play, "do you think you can last three seconds against me?"
The man's lips curled into a snarl. "You've made a huge mistake," she spat.
Naruto struck a pose, one hand on her hip and the other pointing dramatically at the sky. "Mistake? Maybe not," she said, her tone utterly flat yet somehow dripping with misplaced grandeur. "I am the White Flash, after all. Dattebayo."
Sasuke groaned audibly, dragging a hand down his face. "I can't believe this is my life," he muttered.
But the director, oblivious to the growing tension, motioned frantically for the cameraman to keep rolling. "This is gold! Absolute genius! Don't stop!"
Yukie, standing behind the director, stared slack-jawed at Naruto. "Is she… for real?" she whispered.
Naruto turned her attention to the burliest of the three, a large man who looked like he'd eaten a mountain for breakfast. He stepped forward, brandishing a massive sword. But before he could take another step, Naruto's tone shifted, growing chillingly cold.
"Leave this place," she said, her voice cutting through the chaos like a blade, "or leave this mortal realm. Your choice. Dattebayo."
The words hung in the air, the icy wind carrying them with a weight that made even the large man hesitate. His grip on the sword tightened, but a glance at his leader, whose jaw was clenched in frustration, made him step back.
"Retreat," the leader hissed, glaring at Naruto one last time before turning away. "We'll deal with them later."
The three figures leapt back into the misty remains of the iceberg, vanishing as quickly as they had appeared.
Naruto stood there, still posed dramatically, her glowing eyes scanning the horizon. "Victory," she said, as if narrating her own triumph. "As expected of the White Flash. Dattebayo."
Sasuke's face met his palm once more, and Sakura, peeking from the safety of the ship, muttered, "She's going to be the death of us."
The director, however, was already planning how to incorporate this "scene" into the film.
Naruto, still basking in her imagined glory, stood stiffly with her arms crossed, surveying the now partially melted iceberg as if it were her personal stage of triumph. Kakashi, however, approached her with a sigh, his hands buried in his pockets as his one visible eye scrutinized the horizon.
"Naruto," he began, his tone exasperated but patient, "those weren't actors."
Naruto blinked, her glowing sapphire eyes narrowing as if trying to process his words. "Huh?" she said mechanically, her voice devoid of inflection. "Of course, they weren't actors. They were extras, clearly. Very unskilled ones. Dattebayo."
Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering something under his breath before speaking again. "No. They weren't extras either. Those were actual ninjas from the Land of Snow."
Naruto tilted her head stiffly, her beauty mark catching the faint sunlight. "Ninjas?" she repeated. Then, in a tone that suggested she was humoring a particularly slow child, she added, "Sensei, everyone knows real ninjas don't wear white spandex. That was definitely a costume choice. Dattebayo."
Sasuke, who had been leaning against the ship's rail with a bored expression, couldn't hold back. "Idiot," he muttered, earning a glare from Naruto. "They're not part of the movie. They're real, and they were here for a reason."
"Indeed, Sasuke-kun is correct!" Lee chimed in, punching the air with enthusiasm. "Those were no mere performers; their aura was brimming with unyouthful malice!"
Naruto folded her arms, looking back at Kakashi. "Fine, fine," she said robotically, her voice lacking any real concern. "What do they want, then? Autographs? A fight? My fashion tips? Dattebayo?"
Kakashi sighed again, his shoulders slumping slightly. "In time, Naruto," he said, his voice taking on a rare seriousness. "I'll explain you guys everything. But for now… just know that this mission isn't as simple as protecting an actress."
Naruto's glowing eyes flickered, her interest piqued. "Oh," she said, her tone flat yet curious. "Are we protecting royalty? A secret treasure? Is Yukie actually a ninja princess? Is this a plot twist? Dattebayo?"
Kakashi gave her a deadpan look. "In time," he repeated, turning away to rejoin the crew.
Naruto huffed loudly, her stiff posture somehow radiating indignation. "Fine, keep your secrets," she muttered, turning on her heel and stomping towards the ship, her high boots clunking awkwardly on the icy ground.
Sasuke shook his head, muttering, "Loser," under his breath as he followed.
Lee, ever loyal, gave Naruto a thumbs up. "Do not be disheartened, Naruto-chan! The truth will reveal itself in due course, and your youthful spirit will surely shine through!"
Naruto waved him off dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Dattebayo." But her stiff steps quickened slightly, her curiosity clearly gnawing at her.
Û~Û
Author Note:
100K words! Yaaay! Finally!
Yes, I agree that we need something or somebody to put Naruto in her place. Her ego is bigger than Chibaku Tensei and denser than Truth Seeking Orbs. Do you have any suggestions? I already have some ideas but they'll take time.
I hope you liked this chapter.
Drop your thoughts in the review section. Your words inspire me to write faster, better and with more depth.
Till next time!