Autumn 1991

Ronald Weasley

Every morning the great hall stirred with the quiet clatter of silverware and groggy greetings as students rolled in and out of the hall. The quiet was only ever broken by the hooting of owls as they soared through the enchanted sky above and deposited letters and packages in front of one student or another; a hundred copies of the prophet thumping as they hit the hardwood of the tables.

Ron sat in his usual spot, the sky above him a soft grey as the first rays of sun struggled to break through the coming winter clouds. His plate in front of him was half-finished, his mind drawn to the small envelope in his fingers. He couldn't help but nervously turn it over and over.

The days since his parent's visit had passed in a strange blur of homework, conversations with his friends, and conspiring with Salazar. For all of it, he had come up empty-handed in regards to finding out what really happened on Hallowe'en, and as the days shortened and the Christmas break approached at an incredible speed, doubt trickled into Ron's mind. He wondered and worried about finding the person responsible, so much so that he had extended his search past his original candidates. He stole hurried quiet stares over the heads of the other students and towards the top table where only a few professors took their breakfast.

He glanced back down at the letter in his hands again, his stomach twisting in a sickening way. He had hoped he would be able to put everything with his parents behind him, at least until he solved the more pressing matter, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop his mind from wandering back to the meeting and wondering if he had done the right thing. A part of him, in retrospect, wondered if he should have defended himself or if he should have accepted blame. It would have been a much larger part of him if it wasn't for Dumbledore's and subsequently Percy's reassurances. Yet, now, he rubbed his thumb over the ink that spelt his name in his mother's handwriting… that part of him seemed monstrous.

"Who's it from?" Theo caught Ron's eye across the table.

"My mum," Ron murmured, his fingers tightening to the envelope's edge.

The three other faces around him, Blaise, Daphne, and Tracey, froze and stiffened. Ron had told each of them about the meeting with Dumbledore and each had offered their own opinions and eventually their compassion. It was easier to talk with Blaise who had family issues of his own, issues that surpassed Ron's own, but it was awkward with Daphne and Tracey who, for as far as Ron could tell, got along with their families just fine. Still, he was thankful for their support but not the worried looks they gave him. Even Theo seemed to sense the sudden shift in mood as if the room had cooled a few dozen degrees.

Ron sucked in a deep breath and broke the seal, the room seeming to fade around him as his eyes searched and scanned the first line.

RONALD,

I HAVE RECEIVED A LETTER FROM THE HEADMASTER… NOT LONG AFTER OUR MEETING. HIS WORDS, BOTH IN PERSON AND IN THIS LETTER, HAVE GIVEN ME A LOT TO THINK ABOUT. PARTICULARLY, I WILL ADMIT TO YOU THAT AS MUCH AS YOU SCARE ME, AS MUCH AS I WISH YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT NOT TO PUT YOURSELF INTO SUCH DIRE CIRCUMSTANCES, YOU ARE STILL AND WILL ALWAYS BE MY SON.

I WILL NOT MAKE A HABIT OUT OF APOLOGIZING, BUT I KNOW THAT YOU DESERVE ANOTHER ONE. ALBUS— DUMBLEDORE, IS A FRUSTRATING MAN MOSTLY BECAUSE HE IS WISE AND HAS THE ANNOYING HABIT OF SEEING GOOD IN EVERYONE, EVEN WHERE OTHERS STRUGGLE TO SEE IT. IT'S A STRUGGLE I'VE DEALT WITH FOR A LONG TIME, AND WHEN YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH, I WILL SHARE MY REASONS FOR THAT STRUGGLE. FOR NOW, I THINK IT'S BEST THAT I APOLOGIZE. THAT I TELL YOU I AM SORRY FOR THE OUTBURST I SUBJECTED YOU TO. EVEN ADULTS ARE NOT ABOVE HAVING THEIR EMOTIONS GET THE BETTER OF THEM.

MY ACTIONS WERE BECAUSE OF CONCERN, NOT BECAUSE OF ANYTHING ELSE. I AM SCARED RONALD. YOUR SORTING IS THE LAST THING I EVER EXPECTED OUT OF ANY OF MY CHILDREN AND ITS LEFT ME IN A PANICKED STATE. I HAVE CLEANED THE HOUSE FROM TOP TO BOTTOM TEN TIMES OVER JUST TRYING TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND THINGS. IF IT WERE NOT FOR YOUR SISTER, I BELIEVE I WOULD HAVE BEEN BROUGHT TO TEARS AT EVERY MOMENT OF THE DAY. FEAR IS A POWERFUL FORCE AND IT MAKES US ACT IN WAYS THAT WE OFTEN SHOULDN'T. WHEN YOU DECIDED, SELFLESSLY AS I UNDERSTAND IT, TO INTERFERE WITH THE TROLL, I COULDN'T HELP BUT IMAGINE ONE OF MY CHILDREN DYING. I COULD NOT LIVE IF MY YOUNGEST SON DIED POTENTIALLY BECAUSE OF SOMETHING I'VE DONE TO PUSH HIM INTO SUCH A HOUSE AS SLYTHERIN. HOWEVER, DUMBLEDORE HAS CONVINCED ME THAT YOUR ACTIONS WITH THE TROLL WERE TO DO ENTIRELY WITH YOUR GRYFFINDOR TRAITS AND NOT SLYTHERIN. AS SICK AS IT MAKES ME, I AM PROUD THAT YOU WERE SORTED INTO SLYTHERIN AS IT MIGHT BE THE ONLY REASON YOU SURVIVED THE ENCOUNTER. I TRUST THAT YOU WILL NEVER FIGHT A TROLL AGAIN.

MY BROTHERS SHARED THE SAME RECKLESS ABANDON FOR HOW THINGS SHOULD BE DONE AND BY WHO. IT GOT THEM KILLED RONALD. I JUST DO NOT WANT THE SAME THING TO HAPPEN TO YOU. DUMBLEDORE WAS RIGHT, OUT OF ALL OF MY CHILDREN YOU ARE THE MOST LIKE THEM. IT MAKES ME NERVOUS.

YOUR GRANDMOTHER CEDRELLA BLACK MARRIED YOUR GRANDFATHER FOR LOVE. SHE WAS A WISE WITCH WHO SAW THAT THE STUDENTS AROUND HER IN SLYTHERIN HAD FLAWS THAT SHE COULD OVERCOME THEM. SHE SET ASIDE HER BIGOTRY FOR YOUR GRANDFATHER. I HOPE YOU TAKE HER ACTIONS IN MIND AS YOU DECIDE YOUR FRIENDS. THE HEADMASTER TELLS ME YOU ARE GOOD FRIENDS WITH HARRY POTTER, WHICH I AM VERY GLAD TO HEAR. HE DESERVES EVERYTHING GOOD, RONALD, SO DO NOT LET ME HEAR OF ANY FIGHTING BETWEEN YOU TWO. THAT POOR BOY HAS SUFFERED MORE THAN ANYONE. MAKE SURE YOU CHOOSE FRIENDS AMONG THE SLYTHERINS THOSE THAT SUPPORT THE RIGHT WAY OF DOING THINGS. I WILL NOT HAVE YOU BEFRIENDING THE NEXT GENERATION OF MURDERERS.

NOW, I BELIEVE, WITH ALL THAT I'VE SAID, WE CAN PUT THIS ENTIRE MESS BEHIND US. I UNDERSTAND YOU ARE STILL QUARRELLING WITH YOUR BROTHERS, I WILL WRITE TO THEM IMMEDIATELY AND DEMAND THAT THEY LEAVE YOU BE. I WOULD LIKE IT IF YOU WOULD WRITE TO ME SOON AND TELL ME OF YOUR YEAR SO FAR AND YOUR PLANS MOVING FORWARD WITH WHAT I HAVE SHARED WITH YOU.

YOUR FATHER AND I WILL STILL BE GOING TO ROMANIA TO SEE CHARLIE. I WILL SHARE WITH HIM ALL OF YOUR AND YOUR SIBLINGS LOVE. GINNY WILL BE COMING WITH US, SO IF YOU WISH TO WRITE HER LETTERS FOR CHRISTMAS BE SURE TO KEEP THAT IN MIND. I WILL NOT CHASTISE CHARLIE FOR BUYING YOU A WAND, IT IS A GOOD THING THAT HE DID, AND ME AND YOUR FATHER HAVE DISCUSSED THE ISSUE AT LENGTH. WE ARE FORTUNATE THAT YOUR WAND WAS POWERFUL ENOUGH TO ALLOW YOU TO KILL THE TROLL AND SAVE THAT GRANGER GIRL.

DUMBLEDORE HAS ALSO REQUESTED THAT WE ALLOW YOU TO LEAVE HOGWARTS DURING WINTER BREAK TO STAY AT THE GREENGRASS HOME. I WAS GOING TO SAY NO, BUT YOUR FATHER HAS ASSURED ME THAT HE KNOWS ALORIS GREENGRASS FROM THE MINISTRY AND THAT HE IS AN UPSTANDING MEMBER OF THE GOVERNMENT. WITH THAT IN MIND, YOU MAY GO TO YOUR FRIENDS FOR THE HOLIDAYS. BUT YOU MUST WRITE US, AT LEAST ONCE, AND YOU MUST BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOUR. IF YOUR FATHER HEARS SO MUCH AS A WORD OF ANYTHING BAD, YOU WILL BE GROUNDED ALL SUMMER LONG AND WILL BE SWIMMING IN CHORES.

I HOPE YOUR LAST FEW DAYS OF SCHOOL ARE FILLED WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT, AND I HOPE YOU FIND THE TIME TO RELAX.
LOVE YOUR MOTHER,
MOLLY WEASLEY

The words of the letter blurred for a moment as Ron heaved in another sharp breath. He blinked as quickly as he could trying his best to not let any tears flow from his eyes. Although he had decided he didn't care what his parents thought, he always knew he had been lying to himself. The letter in his hands was like an early Christmas gift, maybe the best one he had ever received. His heart felt light and fluttery as his chest felt as weightless as it had ever been, for the first time since his sorting he felt genuinely good and genuinely happy. He had things to worry about sure, but at least he could worry about them without having to fight his family along the way.

His mothers words, although stiff and not quite like herself in places, were an obvious attempt at reconciliation, an attempt at mending what had happened between them. An apology that sunk into Ron's chest like an arrow he wasn't sure if he would be able to pull it out even if he wanted to. Sure, he still held some reservations about the things she had said and done, but he was just glad to have it all over with.

He thought of the meeting again, after his parents had left, and about all the things that Dumbledore had said. The Headmaster seemed as wise as his mother thought, and Ron was glad that he had chosen his side in the conflict. The things Dumbledore had said about war leaving scars was pressed deeper into the recesses of Ron's mind. Even his mother had admitted that her actions were because of her brothers, and that, Ron knew, was just a way of saying because of the war. He felt it strange, almost surreal, that it had been so many years since Voldemort was vanquished and yet he still seemed to shadow over everything.

Ron imagined the man's red eyes and handsome face and he wondered how such a man could ever become so evil and how so many wizards could ever allow such a man to become so powerful. Even now, after Voldemort's death, Ron bit the inside of his cheek, even those wizards and witches who weren't his followers were so deeply tied into Voldemort's existence. It was hard for Ron to imagine such a man, he wondered if Salazar had ever been that man. He got a sudden sinking feeling that it would be far harder to fix the wizarding world than he could have ever imagined, even when he was powerful and even if he had lots of gold, there would still be a lot of work to do. Work which, Ron swallowed, he would do for his family's sake.

"Everything alright?" Blaise asked him quietly.

Ron couldn't help but let a smile spread across his lips, thinning them upwards towards his ears. A sudden look of relief spread across the faces around him, and yet more confusion spread across Theo's.

"Everything is alright," Ron said, his voice feeling stronger than it had in months. He looked down at his half-eaten plate, his appetite returning to him in full as he picked up his fork and got to work on the rest of his eggs.

"That's it?" Daphne raised an eyebrow. "No explanation?"

Ron felt he might have owed them one, after all they had all listened to his problems for the last few days straight. Yet, he couldn't find the right words. How could he explain that it wasn't him who was the problem but it was the world itself? How could explain that his personal problems were the fault of Voldemort who had died when they were all young? He would find a way, he just needed more time to think.

Ron just shrugged instead. "My parents are going to let me stay with you for Christmas."