Chapter 5

"I'm seriously surprised that you've never flown before."

I levelled Cassian with a dead stare. "I don't have wings, dumbass."

"You could've asked me or Azriel to take you flying."

"I am also chubby and heavy to carry."

He scoffed, and in one movement, picked me up in his arms, bridal style. "Heavy, my ass. You're perfect."

I blushed and brought my hands around his neck as he directed. He stepped onto the balcony wall, and my heart thumped in the thrill of anticipation.

"Ready?"

I nodded, grinning uncontrollably. This was fun.

He jumped, spreading his wings to catch the wind. I screamed as we dipped for a moment before he soared high and steadied.

For a moment there, I was sad because I had missed out this experience. Not for long, though. Cassian weaved through the highest parts of the city, laughing along with me. He circled around the perimeter of the city and then went beyond, above a thin ribbon of a stream. Here, he swooped down sharply, and my stomach plummeted along.

While we were just a little above the water's surface, he tilted me and let my feet dangle in the cool water. It made me giggle, and soon enough, he was soaring above again and returning to the city. He flew for some more time, until he was tired and deposited me on the balcony.

My legs trembled as I walked over to a seat and flopped down. Cassian had to leave because Rhys was summoning him, and I thanked him profusely before he left. He was very sweet, and this short trip was amazing. I spent the rest of the day in a daydream, packing a small suitcase to take home since I was spending the next two days with my father.

When I was packing some toiletries, Amren knocked on the open door.

I waved her over to one of the chairs. "Come in."

My quarters was mostly empty now, I had shifted everything except the ones I immediately needed. She looked around and perched elegantly on the chair and lifted her head at me.

"Why are you leaving?" She asked bluntly.

My hands stilled, and I thought over my response. I had planned to leave without anyone noticing, and I wasn't prepared in the event that someone did notice.

"Are you unhappy here? Do you feel unwelcome? What is it?" She asked again.

"The actual reason for my leaving is not valid, to be honest."

She leaned back and crossed arms. "Try me."

"It involves one of the residents here. It's not their mistake, it's mine. I carried a lot of unfulfillable expectations, and I just want to stay away."

I didn't have any idea what I was saying. I spoke one word after word without even thinking whether they made a connection or not. She stared unblinkingly at me and I returned it with a steady gaze. Finally, she stood up and walked out without a word.

I broke the news to my father at dinner the next night. He was very confused about my decision, as he thought that things at the House of the Wind were going rather well. However, he came to the crux of the matter quickly.

"It's about Azriel isn't it. He hurt you."

"No he didn't. They are all very nice to me. But I can't stay there any longer. The problem is with me. I have feelings for Azriel, and I want to go away from him since there is not a chance of anything happening between us and I can't take it anymore."

There, I said it. I didn't meet Azriel frequently, but I thought of him every single day. He consumed my thoughts ever since I've lived in the quarters next to him, even when he didn't even look at me for more than a span of five seconds. I must've gone insane.

My father watched me in silence for a few moments.

"Alright. Let me know if you need any help. Stay safe out there, and reach out to me if you need any provisions and supplies."

I smiled, a bit teary as I reached across the table and took his hand. "Thank you."

•~᯽~•