Dr Who : "To Forgive..."
Summary: On her (hopefully) redemption arc, Blissy meets her first challenge.
"On the Road Again..." Part XV...
"There's no reason for you to do this..." Mila sternly as she and Blissy sat at a Christmas Tower Plaza coffee shop, she rather eagerly sipping at her first cappuccino.
"If I didn't know better, Mama, I'd think you were getting fond of caffeine...And me." Wan smile.
"Sorry..." at Mila's stricken look. "I was joking." Blissy, nervously. "I'm not used to having people care, apart from the Doctor. I am grateful, Mama."
"Then don't do this." Mila, urgently. "Old Gallifrey is fine where she is, it would probably cause all sorts of bother and harm, trigger a new Time War, if she were to be located."
"Mama...Whatever Rassilon's goals really are...I have to know what I did and how it may affect the Universe." Blissy sighed. "And I need to face what I've done, fully."
"It was not right...What was done to you, Koschei." Mila began.
"Are you the Doctor?" a little boy had come up to Blissy, his mother anxiously racing up behind him.
"Oh, no, honey." Blissy shook head. "Just another Time Lady."
"So sorry, ma'am." The mother had come up. "Tim? Don't bother people, it's not polite."
"No, it's not, young man." Mila frowned.
"Mama. Honey, it's ok." Blissy smiled at the boy. "I'm sorry I'm not the Doctor."
"Well...If you are a Time Lady, could you still sign my Tardis?" he held up a small blue-colored miniature Tardis.
"Absolutely..." nod. " 'To Tim from Blissy.' You're a big fan of the Doctor?" she asked kindly.
"Oh, yeah...But I like our Doctor, the Eleventh, best." He noted.
"I'm rather partial to Twelve myself." She grinned. "But I hear Eleven was fun."
"You indulge these people too much." Mila sighed as the boy hurried off with a quick thanks, his mother offered apologetic thanks as well, both in their heavy coats as a light snow fell.
"I used to be very cruel, Mama. Or worse, pretend to be kind till I was ready to hurt. About time I tried to be kind."
"That's not true. You were kind as a child. It was your insanity..."
"I could have fought harder. People wanted to help me, even love me." Blissy shook head. "And I need to learn more about myself and that, if I'm to remain sane."
"You said this 'Bill' within would help you. I'll help you too, Koschei." Mila tried. "Even if the worst happened when you regenerate, we'd have years together." She paused, bowing head.
"And I'd do as you asked..."
"If you could..." Blissy took her hand. "But the mad side of me is shrewd, as well as cruel. It would try to deceive you, play on your love for me. Like I did before, didn't I? Which is why you had to try to forget about me. I don't remember what I did but I can guess I did it. I know what I was."
"But if the drums are gone, and you're free...Cured."
"There's no way to be sure till I face myself. And these fragments within my mind, perhaps especially the one Aunt Zoa and Rassilon are concerned with, are the way for me to face myself..." Blissy noted.
"You told that boy you were just another Time Lady. You don't have to be a hero, another Doctor." Mila insisted. "Just be my daughter... Please."
"I'm not trying to be a hero, just to be the person I want to be. And I will be your child, always... But I think I have to do this, Mama." Blissy shrugged, wave of hands. "And I need you to help me, safely, from Aunt Zoa's Tardis tomorrow."
"We've had so little time, Koschei." Mila sighed. "Can't you wait...?"
"If I do, I might not have the courage to do it. Mama..." sigh. "This is very hard for me." She eyed Mila. "I'm terrified about what I'll learn." Pause. "Thanks to the Doctor, the Outcome seems..." she closed eyes. "Mama? I'm afraid I did it. It happened. I think you know what I mean." Hard stare. "I think you've known since we met on new Gallifrey. And I can't live without knowing what I did and how I could keep it from ever happening again." Clasping Mila's hands.
"Koschei...Even if...Now, it's all...Fixed." Mila tried.
"Is it? If I...Helped the renegade Cyber faction destroy Gallifrey." Blissy sighed. "I set the wheels in motion for the death of the Universe. And yes, the Doctor, bless him, reversed what the God of Death did. What I did. But..."
"Then viewing it, with all the risk? How can that be wise?"
"Missy knew. She knows in here..." indicating herself. "Something. Something that saved her from trying again, mad as she still was. O knew it. Maybe some other selves of me did. And I need to know what it was." Blissy, anxiously. "It saved me. It could save me again, if the worst happens. And it could save Gallifrey, even the Universe. Even if we don't trust Rassilon, and his motives, it could."
...
Various passersby and a number of people touring the Christmas town plaza greeting them as they strolled, Blissy having suggested they pick up K-9 III at their hotel and walk a bit with her to see the sights, in part to avoid anyone hearing too much of their conversation, in part to feel like any mother and daughter touring the place, Blissy and Mila and K-9 III found themselves a bit hard put to avoid the attention the arrival of two Time Ladies, reputed friends (at least one) of the Doctor, had stirred. Along with the occasional encounters with an alien delegate familiar with the Master, ranging from the curious to the vengeance-seeking, though perhaps fewer than at the restaurant the night before.
And given the truth field it was best to avoid even well-intentioned or innocent questions...As well as more pointed ones.
"At least no one has gone beyond ranting at me..." Blissy noted.
Hmmn...Nice hats. She peered into the store window to her left, a rotating display of holograms of the store's wares, projecting from the window into the street.
Could use a new hat. Billie's choices have been a bit on the drabber side.
But Bill was never a hats person and Billie is modelled on her.
"Can we have a look, Mama? I like that grey and white hat."
"If you wish...But Koschei..." Mila sighed. "Don't we have more important matters to discuss?"
"Can't we just be Mama and daughter, for a bit?" Blissy urged. "I mean that hat, Mama..." she noted, with smile. "I have to try it on, sorry."
I suppose it's better than destroying the Universe, Mila shrugged. "Fine."
And if not exactly Gallifrean style, it is rather...
"Sorry, is our dog allowed in?" Blissy asked the woman at the counter.
"Oh, of course. That's Tasha Lem's dog isn't she?" the curly-haired woman asked. "Hello, there, sweetie."
"Yes." Blissy peered. Mila peered.
There's the oddest hint of a compatriot, in that aura...
"And you're the...Mistress?" the woman eyed Blissy.
"Was...Dr. Song?" Blissy eyed her.
"Guilty as charged." River nodded. "Which at times I would say, has applied to both of us." Smile.
Oh, gods...Mila sighed.
Not the other woman...
...