A/N I have been dying to post this chapter since I wrote it, especially the last scene. Gather your tissues! Let me know what you think!

Chapter 23

Unwelcome Goodbyes

They were sitting down to dinner when their peaceful interlude finally ended. It was a cold January evening, there was snow still piled outside and the irori filled the main room with warmth. Five ninken slept in a heap near the fire, their fur drying from earlier romps in the snow.

Kakashi-kun had helped Sakura make hot-pot and the family was comfortably tucked beneath the kotetsu. Tenzō, exhausted from a long day of play, slept beneath the blanket already, his head in Sakura's lap.

"...and Guy said he wanted to challenge me to a snowball fight in front of Obito and everyone else, so I had to say yes because they wanted to join in. My team won, obviously, so now I'm ahead again." He huffed. "Not that it matters that much."

Kakashi chuckled. "Of course it matters. You're rivals."

The kid rolled his eyes. "Eternal rivals."

Yawning, she was so tired, Sakura ran a hand through Tenzō's hair. "We spent the afternoon outside too. Kusa and Bull didn't last long, but Senbei and Shiba ran around with Tenzō forever. I'm not surprised he didn't make it to dinner."

Leaning over to watch their sleeping son, his chin resting on his hand, Kakashi huffed. "Sounds like you all had fun today." He eyed her critically, his free hand reaching up to brush across her shoulder and down to rub her lower back. "Are you okay, Ayame? You look a little… droopy?"

She scoffed. "Thanks." When he frowned, looking genuinely concerned, she shrugged. "I'm just tired, Karasu. It's been a long couple of days, and I'm more like Bull and Kusa. I don't like being cold."

"Hm. Take him to bed then. Kakashi and I can handle all of—" He sat up straighter and looked towards the front of the house. "We have company."

Several unfamiliar chakra signatures had just crossed the barrier. "Lots of company. Who?"

Whistling shortly to wake the ninken, he looked resigned. "It's the Hokage and his ANBU guard." The heavy knock felt ominous. "Stay here, I'll get it."

She watched him go, dread gathering in her gut making her nauseous. "Kakashi-kun, come here, sit beside me, please."

Looking mildly anxious, he got up and did as she asked. "Why is the Hokage here? Is he going to make me graduate and go to Iwa too?"

Taking his chin in her hand, she reassured him. "He is not sending you anywhere. We aren't going to let him, alright?"

He nodded, and they sat up straight and serious as their uninvited guests followed Kakashi into the room. It was strange to actually see the Hokage's ANBU guard. They normally stayed hidden unless there was a threat. What did that say about this visit?

It was even stranger to see the Hokage up close. She had been thirteen when he'd died, and yet here he was alive and well in her home, younger than she'd ever seen him.

Karasu sat at her left, his arms folded across his chest, their ninken settling behind them. She could see something in Hiruzen's eyes as he took them in that might have been amusement. It might have been malevolent.

"Good evening. Hatake Karasu, we finally meet. I have heard a great deal about you." His eyes slid to her. "Your wife is as lovely as the rumors suggest."

She bristled but kept quiet, deciding to let Kakashi's cooler temper handle this interaction. The last thing they needed was for her to end up in a cell for assaulting the Hokage.

"A personal visit, you honor us, surely, Hokage-sama." His voice was even but his posture was rigid and his face was stone. He did not offer any hospitality.

The Hokage sat uninvited across from them. "Unfortunately it is not for the pleasure of your company that I visit." His eyes lingered on Kakashi-kun and Sakura felt a protective anger surge. She wanted to strangle the old man. She wanted to puke. "I wonder what you have heard about the state of things on the fronts? Your cousin Sakumo is having some minor success in Iwa." This news looked almost painful to admit. "There have been some difficulties to the Northeast with Kumo, and we've lost several dozen teams in Suna already. Overall, things are not going well."

Kakashi shrugged his left shoulder. "War on three fronts for the second time in as few decades, did you expect an easy victory?"

Hiruzen pursed his lips. "I did not. But that is why I am here. With our forces so depleted already, we can not afford to be wasteful. Every soldier—" His dark eyes flicked to Kakashi-kun again. "Every potential soldier is needed."

Sakura fought to keep her breathing under control. He'd shown up with four ANBU, did he plan to take him by force? She gripped his hand under the table. Surely not.

"Sakumo has made himself perfectly clear." His voice was steel. "The boy stays with us."

When the Hokage glanced down to her lap, observing what he could see of Tenzō's sleeping head with an arched brow and pensive expression, Sakura was nearly sick. How dare he? It took every ounce of self control she had not to gather up both boys and flee, or leap across the table to attack the bastard.

"No clan can be permitted to sideline so much potential when our nation is at war."

Behind her, Kusa growled, low and menacingly, drawing the Hokage's attention from his boy. Kakashi lifted a hand to still the protective ninken and he quieted.

"Neither boy will be participating in this war, Hokage-sama. But you knew that before you left your office."

Clearly frustrated to have met with such immediate resistance, Hiruzen sighed. "What would the Hatake clan offer its village to allow such a pitiable waste in her darkest hour?"

Kakashi glared at the older man, the dark, blank look she'd seen him level at enemies, unimpressed, pissed. "I will go."

The corner of Hiruzen's mouth ticked up ever so slightly and Sakura knew this was what he'd wanted all along. "And what good would a carpenter be to me, from an enemy nation no less?" Not inclined to make this easier, Kakashi remained silent, his face impassive. Eventually, the Hokage conceded. "Though, I suppose you are a little more than that, aren't you? My intel out of Kumo is spotty at best just now, but I've been told you are nearly equal to your cousin. They allowed such a talented shinobi to walk away?" He looked skeptical. "I admit I find that hard to believe."

Kakashi finally relented. "They likely assume I perished with the rest of my clan in the last war. I never went home when the fighting stopped." When Hiruzen seemed to accept this, Kakashi shrugged. "I'm sure I would be more useful to you than an inexperienced child."

Beside her, Kakashi-kun flinched slightly at what sounded like a harsh dismissal. Sakura squeezed his hand.

Hiruzen nodded once. "Certainly. What assurances can you offer me of your trustworthiness? We are at war with Kumo."

"I have no loyalty to Kumo. We're here because Sakumo asked us to stay, and I am loyal to my family before anything else. If I leave for the front, I would be trusting you with that family, Hokage-sama. If anything, I should be asking you for assurances."

"Fair enough." His eyes cut to Sakura, assessing, then back to Kakashi. "I have also heard that your wife is more than just a pretty face. Tsunade told me that she did in fact have an apprentice for a time. I'm not sure if the news has reached the civilian district yet but she has… taken a leave of absence to address a personal failing."

A personal failing. Sakura bit her tongue to keep from scoffing.

"My wife will stay in the village with our children. She may assist the hospital while I am away. No more than four days a week and never overnight."

"Six days—"

"Four." Kakashi caught her eye and arched a brow in question. Understanding what he was asking, she nodded. "She may, of course, be happy to assist beyond that at her discretion. Our son requires extra care and Sakumo left Kakashi's education to her. And I expect her to be properly compensated for her time."

Hiruzen did not look pleased by Kakashi's terms, but they both knew how desperately they needed her help. "Fine. I will tell director Ryoshi to expect her by the end of the week. There is a fresh company shipping out to Iwa for a three month rotation in four days. Report to the Jōnin office in the morning for a uniform and orders."

Kakashi inclined his head. "Very well."

Negotiations dealt with, the Hokage relaxed, attention focusing on Kakashi-kun. "My son has told me all about your weekend expeditions. He has really enjoyed himself and seems to be learning a lot." He laughed and Sakura thought he appeared genuinely amused. "Teamwork exercises disguised as games and chores. Very good." He looked back at Kakashi, the pleasant, grandfatherly smile she remembered in place. "Perhaps I should hire you to teach at the Academy after the war."

Kakashi snorted, not nearly as amused or relaxed as their guest. "It's late; you'll forgive me, I'm sure, if I cut this visit short."

The Hokage's smile stayed in place, though it did not appear so genuine. "Of course. I will see myself out." He stood and inclined his head at Sakura. "Good evening, Hatake-san." She returned the polite gesture and watched him go, not relaxing until she felt them cross the barrier again.

Kakashi sighed, slouching. "I'm surprised he accepted my terms so easily."

"Me too." Three nights. You only have him for three more nights. She wanted to go to bed and hold him, to keep him safe as long as she could.

Kakashi-kun stood suddenly, his hands fisted. "I'm not some useless child. I don't need you to protect me."

Before either she or Kakashi could say anything, he took off out the door and into the dark, cold night. "Oh, Kakashi-kun!"

Kakashi laid a hand on her shoulder. "Take Tenzō to bed, Sakura. I'll talk to him."

Sighing, still angry over their conversation with the Hokage and exhausted, she nodded. "Okay. I'll wait up, we need to talk too."

He tugged his mask down, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Alright."

Kakashi took a moment outside to dispel his wrath before finding the kid. When Hiruzen had looked at his wife, it had taken every ounce of self control in his body not to leap across the table and savage the old man. It was a miracle that he had kept the bloodthirsty killing intent from pouring out of him. He could have easily taken his ANBU guard, but Hiruzen wasn't Hokage for no reason.

Focusing his chakra to keep warm, he traipsed out into the snow.

Kakashi-kun was huddled in the small snow fort at the back of the property they'd built the weekend before. Crouching beside the entrance, Kakashi peeked inside.

"Hey, kid. Can I come in?"

He turned his face away. "Whatever."

Folding himself up to fit through the door, Kakashi sat beside the kid, the cold from the ground seeping through his pants. "If you're planning on sleeping out here, I can send Shiba and Senbei out with a bed roll and a sleeping bag."

He sniffled, tugging his scarf tighter. "I'm fine."

Kakashi sighed. "Ayame won't be able to sleep if you're out here in the cold, alone. But if you're sure…" When he didn't have anything to say to that, Kakashi nudged him with his elbow. "Kakashi-kun, you're a long way from useless. You're capable and you don't need me to tell you how smart you are. You could pass the Chunin exams already and acquit yourself well on the battlefield. But you shouldn't have to. For all your genius, you're only six. Your father doesn't want this for you, and he's right. This war, fighting, killing… it shouldn't be for children. What I said to the Hokage, it was meant as an indictment of his leadership, not a dig at you."

His shoulders heaved and he finally looked up at him. "I don't want you to leave, Karasu-san. Especially not because of me. Tenzō-chan and Me-chan need you." His ears pinked. It was probably from the cold. "I guess I do too." Another long sigh clouded the air between them, his voice soft and vulnerable. "What if you don't come home? What if dad doesn't? Missions are always dangerous, but this is different."

It was a little strange having this conversation with a younger version of himself. At least he knew him well enough to know he didn't have to make up some pretty lie. He would want the truth. "If we don't come home, Ayame will look after you. She will probably have to take you and Tenzō to those islands if the Hokage decides to try and overstep again. If it was just you, he might let her have her way, but Tenzō…"

"There's something special about him, isn't there?"

He nodded. "Yeah. The man that had him—"

"Orochimaru, that's what Tsunade-sama said. The other Sannin."

"Yes. He was trying to recreate the first Hokage's wood release kekkei genkai."

His eyes went wide. "Will Tenzō-chan have that?"

"We believe so. That's why the Hokage wants to control him so badly. It is a kekkei genkai belonging to Konoha that is singularly useful and hasn't been seen since Hashirama. In theory, we have no problem raising him here to be a useful and strong shinobi for Konoha. But the Hokage believes he would be better off being raised by ANBU."

Kakashi-kun frowned. "But Tenzō-chan is ours. He needs to be raised by his family."

"You're right. But when the Hokage looks at him, when he looks at you and your friends, he sees weapons, not children. Tools, just like the rest of his shinobi. That's why he's pushing so hard, and why I'm not sure I trust him not to keep pushing when I leave." He sighed, brushing his loose hair out of his face. "Ayame can look after herself, but I'm glad you'll be here with her, kid. She'll need more help with Tenzō now that she's going to be working again, and if she says you need to leave the village, don't argue."

The kid nodded, and Kakashi could see that he understood. "Okay."

"Now, you better get inside before Ayame comes looking for you herself."

He rolled his eyes. "Okay."

By the time he dragged himself to bed after dinner was put away and the kitchen was sorted, Sakura had passed out. Kusa and Bull snored softly on the massive dog bed she had gotten for them in the corner, and Tenzō was curled up beside her.

Three more nights. That was all he had left with them. Then he would be leaving, off to war again for at least three months, likely longer. Who knew what Hiruzen would demand of him?

He had fought in two wars and gone on countless long and dangerous missions in-between. In all his twenty-six years as a shinobi, this was the first time he would ever really have to say goodbye. This was the first time there would be someone to miss him, to worry about him, to look for him at the village gates every day he was late and pray that he was coming home. This would be the first time he left part of himself behind.

Kakashi found that he hated it. As he watched them sleep, something in his head, a familiar voice he usually always heeded, demanded he stay.

They need you, she needs you. Protect. Protect.

But he could not stay. They had backed themselves into this corner with their plans and their choices and now he had none. If they couldn't end things early, he would be gone the better part of the next five years. Fuck, he hoped they changed things.

He was going to miss them so much.

Shedding his extra layers, Kakashi lay down beside them. Sakura's eyes fluttered when he pulled them into his arms. "'Kashi?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Go back to sleep, Sakura."

"Mm…" She nuzzled into him, her lips brushing his neck. "Love you."

Yeah, he was going to miss this.

In his uniform, Kakashi looked like himself again. Well, almost. He had not used his new hitai-ate to cover his left eye, and with his long hair pulled back he resembled his father more than ever. But the Jōnin blues and flak vest reminded her of the man he'd been. She knew what that man had been capable of. Without the Sharingan to drain his chakra, and his new purple lightning—stronger than the chidori—he was capable of so much more.

He would help his father end this war sooner.

He was going to come home to her.

She knew he would.

At least, that was what she told herself when he came back the first morning dressed as a shinobi again, orders in hand. That was what she told herself when he came home the next two nights from mandatory drills and last minute training.

That was what she told herself as he made love to her the night before he left. He'd taken his time, muttering about how good she smelled and how much he was going to miss her as he nipped and kissed along her body.

Afterwards, they lay in each other's arms, both knowing it would be months before they would be together like this again.

"I wish I was going with you."

His warm breath tickled the slick skin beneath her breasts where his face was pressed. "I would feel more confident with you by my side." She carded her fingers through his hair and he sighed. "But the boys need you more than I do. So does the hospital. Tsunade cost us so many lives by leaving like she did. Hopefully this Director Ryoshi will be more reasonable than Hiruzen."

"I'm meeting him tomorrow at one thirty. Ume is going to help with Tenzō, and Rin's mother too. Her husband is leaving with you, did you know?"

"No."

She hummed. "I guess he retired as a Chunin when Rin was born, but the Hokage needed him. Do you know if he lives?"

"I may have barely cared about my friends or teammates back then, but I think I would have noticed if her father was killed." Kakashi paused, a frown twisting what she could see of his face. "I'd like to think so, anyway."

"Well, I guess her mother and I will wait for news together."

His arms tightened around her. "Summon Bull at dawn every Sunday. I'll summon him by noon. We will be able to communicate almost instantly this way."

Sakura blinked away the burning in her eyes as she stared up at the ceiling. "What if you need him? What if you're in the middle of a fight?"

"He won't leave me if that's the case. But I'll be expecting you to have him then."

He was quiet so long after that she thought he might have fallen asleep until he pressed a kiss to her skin. "I don't want to leave you. I feel this… need to stay, to protect you. I know how strong you are, Sakura but…" He sighed, his forehead heavy on her sternum. "I've never had to leave anyone before. I'm worried about you, about the boys. Even at top speed, I'll be days away if you need me."

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "We're going to be fine here, Kakashi, we are not leaving the village. You just focus on doing what you need to do and coming home, okay?"

He looked up into her eyes, resigned, tired. "I will."

Kakashi was humming softly when she opened her eyes. It was dark outside her window, but her groggy mind knew it was nearly dawn. He was watching Tenzō sleep, stroking his hair and brushing his thumb across his cheek. "I wonder if he'll be using actual words by the time I get back."

Sakura rolled onto her side so that she was closer. "Well, he can kind of do it." He gave her a look. "He can say, 'no' very clearly, and I heard him say something that definitely sounded like 'mama' just the other day "

He scoffed. "Sure you did."

"I did." He huffed, amusement briefly filling the moment before it turned solemn again. "He's probably going to miss you even more than I am."

Reluctantly pulling away, he sighed. "I know."

Twenty minutes later, they were all standing outside to say goodbye again. Kakashi knelt in front of the kid, hands on his shoulders as he reminded him of things they'd discussed before.

"Goodbye kid."

Kakashi-kun surprised them both, throwing his arms around him in a brief hug. "Don't die, Jii-san."

Kakashi snorted, ruffling his hair as he stood. "I don't intend to."

When he turned to her, Sakura bit the inside of her cheek. They had already said their goodbyes. His dark eyes said what he couldn't, what he already had as he slipped his mask down for one last kiss. "Goodbye, Ayame."

She tried to smile. "Goodbye, Karasu."

Tenzō was looking between them and Kakashi-kun with mounting distress, and she wondered if he remembered when Sakumo had left like this. "I'm gonna miss you, son." He took him into his arms, holding him tight as the little boy started to fuss. "It's okay, Tenzō-chan, I'll be back before you know it." Fat tears rolled down his cheeks as Kakashi kissed them before handing him back to Sakura. "I love you, Tenzō. Be good for Mamma. Goodbye."

With a final kiss on her forehead, he turned to go. Tenzō screamed, reaching for him. He thrashed so hard and suddenly, Sakura lost her hold on him and he slid free, taking off after Kakashi.

"Da!"

"Tenzō wait—"

"Da! Daddy, no!"

Kakashi stopped, his shoulders creeping up slightly, his entire body stiff. He took a deep breath and turned around just in time for Tenzō to crash into his legs.

Sakura froze too, stunned by the new word and the tears she could see gathering in Kakashi's eyes.

Bending over, he scooped the hysterical little boy into his arms and walked back to where she stood. "That's right, buddy. I'm Daddy. Daddy's gotta go, but I'll come back. I promise, okay? Now, stay with Mamma and Nii-san, I love you."

This time when he turned from them, Kakashi sunshined away, Tenzō's sobs and heartbroken cries for 'Daddy' echoing in the dry winter air.