Jay has been having nightmares ever since they turned back time. Nightmares about Nadakhan, about Nya dying, about scrap and tap, about someone finding the teapot, about being hungry, and thirsty, and forced to keep working in the hot relentless sun.

He was used to his dreams being chaotic, scary, and well, nightmarish. So when he starts having a very docile dream about just standing on the deck of the bounty, it's somewhat of a welcome surprise. It feels different to his normal dreams of late, almost real, but it had to be a dream because everything is fuzzy, and he isn't in control. Sometimes dreams were like that. Little movies of things that happened to you. You couldn't fight back, you couldn't change anything, you couldn't even move, you just got to watch it happen. And watching himself lean on the railing of the bounty, and stare out across a calm moonlit ocean was much much better than watching pirates beat the living daylight out of him. So he relaxes into the moment, quietly watching.

Jay stays there for a while, a gentle melancholy weighing on his mind as he runs his fingers over the wood grain, finding rough patches that need repainting. He feels the light evening breeze tussle his hair. He smells the salty aroma of the ocean as it splashes against the vessel's hull. He watches the moon, a thin sliver in the sky, as it stares back at him, glistening reflection scattering among the uneven surface of the water.

He takes in a deep breath, holds it for a couple seconds, then lets it out slowly. Grateful to be alive, grateful to be safe, and just a little sad at the same time. He isn't quite sure what about.

It's so peaceful, and quiet. After what could have been minutes, or hours, the sadness starts to grow. An aching, a longing, he's still not quite sure what for, but it bubbles through him as he clenches the railing, tears forming, trickling down his face.

"I'm sorry…" He almost whispers the words. "Please forgive me."

Jay has had guilt dreams before, but they are normally a bit more obvious about what he was feeling guilty about. Was he feeling guilty about making those stupid wishes? Or about not telling everyone about their little time adventure? About the various times where he had stuffed up on missions, or electrocuted a teammate? About how he almost killed Kai? He quietly watches himself cry, feeling a deep sinking remorse.

Thankfully, as Jay has had a lot of experience feeling shitty about himself, he has developed some coping mechanisms, some ways to get out of the cycle, and pull himself back together. He might not be in control of this dream, but he could still try to have some influence.

You're ok. It's ok. Let it out, let it pass, then keep on moving forward. What was it Cole likes to say? That strength comes in many forms? He thinks you're strong, so you can get through this. You can get through this.

He whispers gentle reassurances, trying to regulate calm within his own mind.

The tears dry up, he stares at the moon for a little longer, then starts walking back to his bed. Jay pauses to look at his sleeping teammates, feeling a small flutter of comfort, knowing they are all so close, then lies down and closes his eyes. He takes a couple of deep breaths, like he had done up on deck.

A shiver runs up Jay's spine, he jerks, suddenly awake, lying in exactly the same spot as he was in the dream. His mind lags, am I- am I still dreaming? Everything was back in focus, the fuzziness was gone, replaced by a slight throbbing in his head, he curls his hands, checking he can move them. He rolls over slowly, catching a glimpse of Cole's back as he leaves the room, phasing right through the wall. He hardly used doors anymore.

Jay frowns, Cole didn't need to sleep, so it was unusual to see him in the shared bedroom. When he did want to lie down, he usually camped out in one of the solo rooms, dissociating. Jay tries to remember if he'd seen him doing that lately.

Jay's mind slowly ticks over, waking up properly. That dream was super weird, that shiver was strangely familiar, Cole was here… Oh… Oh shit. Cole had possessed him again. While he was sleeping. Hoping he wouldn't notice. It wasn't him feeling sad and guilty, it was Cole.

Jay pulls the covers over his head, breathing heavily, and tries to decide if it is worth really panicking over. Nothing bad had happened, and as far as dreams go it was surprisingly pleasant, except it wasn't a dream, it was Cole taking his body out for a joy ride. The loss of agency made him nauseous. But the guilt, the deep seeded guilt. Cole said after he possessed Jay the first time that emotions leaked through. If Cole could feel his emotions, surely he could feel Cole's too? Cole knew he was doing the wrong thing, but had done it anyway. That could only mean one thing, that not doing it was making him feel worse. Knowing Cole, knowing his best friend, it meant not doing it was making him feel a lot worse.

Something was wrong, and before he jumped to conclusions, and went yelling at his friend, Jay needed to figure out what.

Jay spends the next couple days carefully observing Cole. He seemed mostly fine. The same old Cole. His arm was back to normal, but he would still clumsily drop things during training. He rarely ate at meal times, if he even showed up, and was often found wandering the hallways or staring off into space. His smiles seem forced, his voice a bit flatter than normal. Shit. How had he been so wrapped up in his own bullshit to not realise how poorly his best friend was doing?

Jay tries to think up some ways to cheer up Cole. He offers to play video games together, but Cole declines, saying the buttons are too hard.

He would normally just bake a cake (or convince Zane to bake a cake), but the birthday incident had shown that was a bad idea.

What does Cole even enjoy anymore? That thought haunted Jay throughout the entire afternoon.

"Does Cole seem, um, duller than normal?" asks Jay to Zane while they watch Kai attempt to spar with Cole.

Zane cocks his head. "Hmmm." Jay's stomach churns waiting for a response. "Cole's brightness has been more varied since he learnt how to become invisible. I had assumed any changes in visual output were due to that, but the overall brightness lately is reduced over what he was initially."

Shit.

Another one of Kai's punches swing right through Cole. "Damn, it must be nice being a ghost." says Kai, frustrated at being unable to land a blow.

Jay's mouth goes dry hearing the statement. No one else has noticed either…

That night Jay isn't surprised to feel Cole slip into him again. He hadn't been completely asleep, a bit stressed about the whole situation. A cold shiver runs up his spine, body jerking slightly as it freezes in place, that strange hazy feeling settling over his mind.

Jay tries to stifle his fear, not wanting to let Cole know that he was awake, that he was aware. Thankfully Cole was also feeling apprehensive and fearful about his decision to possess Jay, so the emotions got muddled together. I'm fine, I just need to calm down. Jay goes to take a deep breath, but then remembers he isn't in control, lungs not obeying him. This has the opposite of the intended effect with a small amount of panic rising within him. Thankfully Cole seems to have the same idea and takes a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before slowly letting it out. Jay pretends he is the one breathing, thankful when Cole repeats the procedure. Together they lay in bed breathing until they are both more calm.

They lie in bed for a few more minutes, Cole fiddling with his hands, running them along the sheets, running them through his hair. Stretching his face, running his tongue over his teeth, toes twitching and curling around each other. It was so innocent, yet it felt so wrong. This was his body. Only he was meant to control it. Having it moved without his consent was unsettling.

He stops fidgeting and lets out a sigh, relaxing into the sheets. The sadness was back. That deep dark longing. Jay remembers why he was trying to not freak out, trying to just be passive and let it happen. Cole needed this. He needed to feel. Jay remembers seeing him cry when he possessed the guy at the bank. Tears over simply being able to feel the wind.

Cole sits them up and Jay tenses, he was hoping Cole was just going to stay in the bed, but nope. It was time for an excursion.

Something snaps within Jay, he tries to take another breath, but he can't. He tries to close his eyes, but he can't. He tries to jiggle his leg, but he can't. No, no, no, no…

His body jerks as an icy shiver runs up his spine. Jay takes a stuttering gasp, before lifting a hand to his mouth and turning around to see Cole clinging to the ladder of his bed, staring at him with worry.

"Hey, are you ok?"

I failed… shit. The air doesn't feel right, as he takes another gasping breath, tears clinging to his eyes. "Yeah, I just…" He looks around the room, everyone else was still sleeping.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

Jay's eyes jump to Cole. Was that really what he thought happened? That he had a nightmare and started to wake up? Jay did still have nightmares about Nadakhan pretty regularly. He drops his eyes, tugging at his sleeve. "I, um, yeah." he lies.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Jay shakes his head defiantly. Mostly because he didn't have a nightmare, but also because the nightmares he had been having lately weren't ones he wanted to discuss with Cole. Not yet.

Cole stares at him, a slight concern resting on his face. "Ok, let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks, I'm fine, probably just need some more rest." The breathing was getting easier. It looked like he was going to escape a full blown panic attack this time. He lies back down, pulling the sheet over himself and turning away from Cole, hoping he'd get the message.

He hears Cole sigh, and then silence. It was unnerving how quietly he moved. Jay chances a glance over his shoulder and sees Cole is gone.

The next day Jay is meditating, sitting at the front of the ship, cross legged, eyes closed, breathing nice and slow.

Cole is going to try again, and I need to be ready.

Thoughts spiral through his head as he tries to decide if he should tell anyone. Tell them Cole possessed him, or at least tell them Cole is struggling. He doesn't know how. He doesn't know who. It is just another thing to add to his big bucket of secrets that he should probably tell the team. But it's not that easy.

So he is meditating.

Damn he hates meditating. Sitting still was always particularly challenging for him. And keeping his mind still, even harder. His body, his mind, his element, all worked best when he was in constant motion.

He needed to learn to be still, to be passive, to let go.

He thinks he is getting somewhere, when a hand on his shoulder shatters the peace. Jay startles, jerking away, turning quickly to face… Wu?

"Bloody hell! Don't sneak up on me like that!"

Wu pulls his hand back. "Apologies, do you mind if I join you?"

Jay shrugs. They hadn't seen Wu much lately, often holed up in his cabin. He shuffles over slightly, making room for Wu to sit beside him, both looking out over the front of the boat.

"It is unusual to see you meditating." says Wu.

Jay flinches slightly. He raises one knee, leaning on it, not yet ready to assume the lotus position after his fright.

"Is something on your mind?" Wu doesn't stare, instead continuing to look out over the ocean. His voice is calm, like the water below them.

Jay sighs, tugging at his sleeve, hating how transparent he was. People always knew when something was up with him. "Yeah, I guess I'm worried about Cole." He didn't know what else to say, how to say it.

"Cole?" Wu turns to him, one eyebrow raised.

Jay nods. "Something's off with him… I- I don't think he's coping with being a ghost."

Wu sighs, looking away again. "This is what I feared."

Jay turns to him, "You were expecting this? What do we do?"

"I'm still searching, for a way to change him back." Jay lets out a sigh of relief. This wasn't all on him. Wu knew about the problem, Wu had a plan, Wu was going to fix this. "We just need to look after him until then."

Jay nods. That was something he could do, he just needed to get better at not freaking out. Just for a little while, he would support Cole, be his crutch until he could walk again.

Jay goes back into the lotus position and takes a deep breath, hearing his master do the same.