It was the dead of night. I tossed and turned restlessly in my bed, unable to close my eyes for even a few minutes. As so often, countless thoughts kept me awake. I couldn't go on like this. The only thing that calmed me down was seeing that Gaara was safe. At least until now. Akatsuki hadn't moved for a long time and hopefully wouldn't now. Otherwise, not only he, but also Fuu and Naruto would have a problem. Wherever the Uzumaki might be at the moment. Hopefully safe.
My feet touched the cool floor as I swung myself over the edge of the bed, resting my soles on the stone. The urge to move grew stronger and stronger. I had to get out of here. I energetically tore the traveling cloak off the hook, put it over my thin clothes and tied the warm fabric.

My own footsteps echoed loudly on the walls of the tower. Gaara had assigned Neji and me rooms within his own house. A special honor, as one of his guards had said. Hmph. Honor. It was more to do with the friendship that existed between us. For me, Gaara was still a close friend and confidant, one of the people who had become most important to me over the years and whom I wanted to protect at all costs.

Cold air hit me as I opened the door to the large balcony and stepped out, right to the edge. The wind blew harsh and rough against me, tearing the hood off my head, but that didn't bother me, as the cloak was warm enough for the rest of my body. I certainly wouldn't catch a cold this time. Otherwise Genma would tease me about it for the rest of my life. I could do without that.

I sat on the wall with my legs drawn up, looking down at the barren, sandy streets. Everything was dark. There was hardly a light left on anywhere. Here and there a shadow flitted through the alleyways, reminding me once again of what I had seen a few hours ago.

A figure, almost completely covered by a cloak and mask, which it had pulled over its right eye, mouth and nose. Not far from us, crouched in the shadow of a wall, she had been watching us, or me in particular. I hadn't been able to make out a headband on her clothes. And yet I hadn't betrayed her. Concealed the fact that someone was watching us. I had given in to an inexplicable instinct. Something deep inside me, which I had actually wanted to forget long ago, had been against snitching on the person.

"You should be asleep by now, Tora," a deep voice sounded close behind me.

I smiled, I hadn't heard him coming. But that was just the way he was, and he wasn't Kazekage of this realm for nothing. Nevertheless, my gaze did not turn away from the rooftops. I waited patiently until he stepped next to me.

Turquoise eyes scrutinized me, narrowing, falling on the thick, dark circles on my pale skin. A tired grin crept onto my lips.

"Seems like I'm challenging you to an insomnia contest now, don't you think?"

He shook his head.

"Don't even start."

It sounded almost admonishing and I snorted softly.

"I'm sorry, but you can't always control your thoughts. Especially not with this immense number, which is driving me mad at the moment. I don't know how much longer I'll get through this."

Gaara was silent, let me talk, listened.

His closeness did me good. I felt comfortable, safe, at home. That was probably what Shikamaru had meant by missing. Yes, I had felt that way when we left Suna. Similar to Naruto, but it didn't seem to be the same, maybe it was because they were different people. Yes, that was the only way I could explain it.

I shook my head. Why were I so preoccupied by these thoughts? There was nothing special about them. I was worried, so what? That was normal. That was how it should be. That's it. Still, it didn't seem so easy and it seemed inexplicable to me.

As if of its own accord, my gaze wandered to the side, to Gaara, who had settled down to my right, looking up at the full moon. Four years ago, during the chunin exams, it had also been a full moon. Back then, the sight of it had sent an unpleasant shiver down my spine...but now...the feeling was simply pleasant.

"You saw me, didn't you. That time on the fence," I began quietly.

It took a while for the redhead to move, to slowly turn his head and look at me, straight into my eyes. Just like he always did.

"Not directly. It was more of a feeling and it confused me. Because normally I could always sense my enemy, or rather his chakra. Not yours."

I was silent, didn't say anything back, I had already gotten my answer.

"Why are you digging into the past, Tora? All those negative memories of the situations with me. All the outbursts. I'm not surprised you can't sleep."

He tried to sound emotionless, but I could still hear the pain, contorted my face, felt how he was still suffering from it, turned to him, put my hand on his shoulder. It was still surprising to me that his sand didn't cover him. But with Naruto and I, the redhead seemed to accept the touch.

"Not all memories of you are bad for me, trust me on that. So...who's being negative here?", I asked with a slightly challenging tone.

Gaara mumbled something unintelligible and stared into the blackness of the night, down into the alleys of Sunagakure. All at once, his eyes narrowed. I squinted them. How could he recognize anything in the darkness? But then he shook his dark mop of hair and turned back to me. His turquoise eyes glowed slightly. Admittedly, the sight was a little eerie.

"Every time I see a shadow..." he mumbled absently, but didn't finish the sentence. I struggled with myself to ask him about it, because on the one hand I wanted to know what he meant, but I also knew that there were things that were none of my business.

"There are no rebels in Sunagakure, are there? I mean against you..."

"They've always been there. But I can deal with that. There's something else that worries me more. Sunagakure is not the richest country. Always has been. Mainly because of its location in the desert. Many people have almost nothing but a roof over their heads. And there's also anger and envy towards those who have it better, which I understand..."

But are you doing anything about it?

Those were the words I wanted to say out loud, but left it at that. Unsure whether I should question his abilities as Kazekage or not? What was the point? He was my friend, of course I could tell him...but he was also the most powerful man in the Land of Wind...and I was from Konoha...was I even allowed to? Argh...why was I even thinking about this? I just had to ask...nothing more.

You always wanted your people to be well. To be there for each of them, so what's behind that or stopping you? Who is? Or is there a completely different reason? Is someone going behind your back?

I would have asked all that. It was on the tip of my tongue, heavier than lead. I clenched my teeth and stiffened my body. I could empathize too well with the situation of all these street children. But for them, it wasn't just about a few stolen apples. They didn't have a forest next door to help themselves to.

The most precious thing in the desert was water and that cost money. They had to steal money to get it and would probably go even further. What people didn't do to survive. A lot. When the going got tough, they became animals and would even kill.
I shivered.

Despite the coat, goose bumps formed on my arms. Was it just the cold or the idea of what might be going on in the alleyways of this village? But still. It couldn't go on like this. The gap between rich and poor was getting bigger and nobody was doing anything about it. Even though it wasn't my country, I still felt connected to it. Possibly because of my past.

"I'm going to bed," I blurted and Gaara looked up.

He scrutinized me with a piercing gaze. He had known me long enough to even suspect that something was on my mind. I smiled, but we both knew it wasn't real.

"Good night, Gaara."