AN: Hey, the site works again! Let's post something!

The Kit, The King, & The Courtess

"..."

"..."

"...If either of you laugh..." The smallest of the three present narrowed his red and blue eyes. "I promise you, that it will be the very last thing you do."

"Well, I guess we can say without a shadow of a doubt that we are adorable." The King Under Gluttony's Mountainside grinned widely and leaned on his side to get a better view of the two versions of himself that came from alternate Hells. His massive form practically eclipsed the other two variants of himself in the pocket dimension they all accidentally – and somehow simultaneously – created. "And here I thought the strangest equivalent of myself would be the one that flaunts her breasts."

"What? I've done the masculine thing for millennia. I got bored, sue me," said the curvy vixen in a kimono crossed her arms under her modest bust before she pulled her pipe from her mouth. "So, when it came time for me to wake up in this cycle, I decided to handle things with a more feminine touch."

"You just want to see if Female Fury will empower you as it did Kushina and Mito." The King accused with a smirk.

"That's not a fucking thing. It's just a terrible anime trope. ..How the fuck do I know that?" The Foxfiend Kit frowned as he puzzled that discovery over with pursed lips.

"Probably ingrained lessons upon resurrection. Likely because your sire indulged – Actually, I have to know, as I have the opposite situation, where he is of my lineage rather than I of his. So, what's it like having the dumbass hold the same rank as Old Man Sage?" The King asked his younger doppelgänger.

"It's only a technicality and nothing more." The Kit grumbled as he crossed his arms and scowled at the ground. "Not that that dissuades my 'Aunt Bee'. Fucking annoying bitch is trying to kill me with kindness."

"My deepest sympathies." The King nodded.

"Oh both of you, come off of it. Queen Bee isn't so bad once you fuck her a few times. Still a bit of an annoying chatterbox jackass sometimes, but once you know how to put that mouth to good use, well, you learn how to tune her out." The Courtess mused as she exhaled a puff of smoke. She arched a brow when the other two looked at her, one aghast and the other in disgust. "What?" She pointed at The Kit. "You might get a ride when you grow older," she turned her finger to the largest counterpart present. "And you've likely been propositioned before, haven't you?"

"Fuck's sake, don't make me fucking think about that!" "Yes, it happened once, and that was more than enough for all of my lifetimes." The two vulpine males growled in complaint. The lone vixen-like demon shrugged.

"Your decisions and your losses. I'll be going back for another threesome later tonight. Or is tonight one of the 'orgy' nights? Hm...I might still go for it." Vixen Kurama mumbled to herself as she rubbed her chin.

"You're officially the worst Kurama." The two other Kuramas deadpanned. The Courtess scoffed at them.

"And you two are a couple of borish children. It's just sex." The Courtess took another puff before she frowned. She pointed at the King. "Don't you have a kingdom of inbred fox demons at your beck and call?"

"They are not inbred! ...Mostly...I think?"

"And you didn't do the nasty tango to make that happen?" The Courtess asked as she blew a few smoke images at her larger counterpart, all of them various silhouettes in different sex positions. The Kit's ears dropped down behind him at each position and a horrified look dawned on his features with each one.

"Don't be crude, there's a Kit present!" The King crinkled his muzzle at the images the vixen's exhaled smoke had turned into. The Kit in question snapped himself from his horror and scowled at him, but otherwise remained quiet, and pointedly refused to look at The Courtess. He huffed and cleared the smoke away with a scowl of his own. The King put a hand on his chest. "When I 'procreate', I put fractions of my chakra into the demon that requested it. A molding later and manipulation of cells and boom. A non-incestual baby...Unless my children screwed each other, but that's not a demonic problem. Look at Paimon's brood."

"Ugh, can we fucking stop talking about stupid sex and procreating?! I already have to hear my 'father' and 'mother' go at it regularly in the room next to mine! I don't need details to know how it happens!" Kit Kurama complained.

"But you do know. You were sealed in Mito and Kushina as well–" The Courtess pointed out.

"They didn't grant me access to sensations!" The Kit growled. The King pointed at him and nodded.

"Same."

"...Well, it's no longer a mystery as to why you two are asexual and aromantic." The Courtess rolled her eyes. She eyed The Kit. "Well, you might change your mind in a decade or two. Maybe you would like help getting proper experience?"

"Don't make me kill you, I don't need that fuckjng trauma on my conscious." The Kit deadpanned as The King snorted.

For the first meeting, it was far from as disasterous as it could have been.

AN: No, again, I refuse to explain.