AU: John escapes to his ex-girlfriends house because he feels he has no where to go.
No specific triggers other than John reminiscing over his unorthodox relationship with Sam. Please note that I do not condone this behaviour in real life. Please remember that John is Jack O'Neill. He is 16 but also 52, therefore both old enough to consent while not physically being old enough to consent.
Chapter 26: Hiding Out
Tuesday, 22nd June 2004 – Evening – Veronica Sanders' house – John O'Neill
I couldn't believe I was here. Of all the places I chose to hide, it was Veronica Sanders' house that seemed to be the safest bet.
Colonel Dixon had left me with the truck at the foot of the Mountain, handing me the keys and registration with my name. She had changed the ownership. In normal circumstances, that wouldn't be possible, but since I had never changed my signature from Jack's, I figured she had signed my name on the transfer because, let's face it, she had been signing his name for years when helping out with his paperwork. I remembered showing her the pen strokes and vetting her early attempts until she became a dab hand at it.
I had driven up to Pike's Peak and spent the day on a variety of hiking trails to take my mind off the morning's events and working out where I could go. Although Kawalsky had been ordered to put me up, I didn't give him the chance and flatly refused to answer the phone when he called.
I also couldn't go to Cascade, well I could but Sam would be there – scratch that, the General would be there. I didn't want to see her, not right now. Not when every emotion in me was itching to prolong the fight from earlier today, and maybe start a few more. Besides, she had made it abundantly clear where we stood as friends or anything else for that matter. Maybe I should have kept my calm and talked to her about it, but being manipulated had never been something I could abide and the fact that she kept it from me made it all that much worse.
Unfortunately, I no longer had an apartment to escape to after giving up the key. Janie's was a consideration, but she would rapidly fire endless questions about where I had been, why I hadn't called, why I was suddenly older looking, whose car was I driving – Elliott and Gus, well they would call Janie, so hiding with them was equally off the table.
My only other option had been Samantha's, but that was an even bigger bad idea. If I went there, I knew I would end up in bed with her. The pull of her Naquadah and Ancient gene was so intense that I knew I would not be able to resist. Especially not after last time, and not when she knew exactly which buttons to push. I didn't stand a chance when all she had to do was look at me with those 'come hither' eyes she had used on the weekend. I had no illusion that I would be well and truly screwed.
Besides, with her grieving the loss of her husband – as temporary as it was – I knew I couldn't be her replacement Jack any more than I could be Sam's replacement Jack. I had tried to give Sam back what she lost, but despite my efforts, I failed to be all she needed. I just wasn't him. I knew she loved me. I felt it every day, except maybe for today. She had been pulling away since we returned from Minnesota, and I couldn't help but wonder if the visit to Washington was the beginning of the end.
Hence why I was here. At my ex-girlfriends.
Since it was Tuesday, her parents would be at their respective weekly card games – her father played Poker, and her mother played Bridge – until at least 2300 hours. It had always been the only night that she would invite people over to her house, not that her parents were that strict, but they had high standards and often had an opinion on her friends socio-economic status. The only way I managed to be accepted was to tell them my father was a high-ranking Air Force officer, and my mother was an acclaimed Theoretical Astrophysicist. Both of her parents were heavily involved in the lucrative real estate market in Colorado Springs, so it wasn't likely they would ever find out the truth.
Funny how considering Jack as my father of record had been an issue for me last year but now seemed genuinely acceptable. Sam's dig today about my refusal of Jack's offer stung more than I thought it would. At the time I had not even considered his feelings, too concerned with getting out of dodge and dealing with the mental trauma of being a teenager that looked entirely too much like my dead son.
Slowly, I reached out and pressed the button above Ronny's surname to ring her doorbell. I just hoped her churlish friends were not here, or I'd be finding somewhere else to hole up for the evening.
"Hello?" Her voice came over the intercom.
"Ah, hi Ronny." I replied in a careful voice mainly because I had cut and run three months ago without saying anything to anyone.
"John?" She recognised my voice immediately, a touch of excitement in her words that I remembered whenever she greeted me without her friends close by.
"Ah, yeah." I replied, my hand automatically going into the back of my hair even though she couldn't see me. Call it a nervous twitch.
"Where have you…" She stopped abruptly, "…never mind, it doesn't matter. I'll be right down." There was a flurry of noise before the intercom cut out and what felt like mere seconds later, the front door of the very stylish apartment building opened, and she threw her arms around my neck, a massive smile on her face.
"I've missed you." She said with unbridled glee and reached up to peck a kiss on my closed lips. "Wow. You got really tall, and…" She cast her eyes over my changed visage, "…hot." I chuckled at her observations and ran my hand through my closely cropped hair. She gripped my hand and pulled me towards the elevator while talking a mile a minute about school and cheerleading. The football team pre-practice practice sessions and tryouts for the upcoming season. Her excitement over getting a B on her final physics test and how she was grateful for the time I spent tutoring her. By the time we made it up five levels, I felt like I hadn't been gone for three months.
"So. What happened?" She pressed once we sat on her sofa and the TV had been muted. As per normal, she had squeezed herself as close to me as humanly possible, lifting my arm up to sit across her shoulders.
"After my Aunt died, I just had to get away." I said, my hand once again travelling through my almost non-existent hair. "I went to Minnesota and stayed with some family for a few months. Did some fishing, canoeing, you know… getting away from it all." I explained as best I could. It was mostly true.
"Yeah, I can see." She passed her eyes over me again and bit her lower lip which made me a little uncomfortable because of what she had offered in the crowded school cafeteria earlier this year. I wasn't here for that. "Do you want a drink, something to eat?" She asked.
"Sure."
"Great! I'll be right back." She replied, then leapt up and dashed into the kitchen.
"Do you want help?" I called out as I stood up and started to follow her.
"You can get the drinks. I made this up just before you arrived. There's enough for us both." She said with a beaming smile. It never failed to amaze me how different she was when she was away from those friends of hers. It's like they sucked all the pleasantness out of her. It made me smile to see her like this.
Grabbing the drinks, I followed as she paraded the wooden cutting board filled with a decent sized antipasto platter and placed it on the coffee table. Passing her a sparkling water, I then cracked my own normal water and sat back down.
"You remembered." She said with glee, waving the bottle of sparkling water with a happy smile on her face.
"Of course, I remembered." I replied, my own smile firmly in place. It had always been her drink of choice whenever we met after school at the local café, often choosing it over any form of soft drink while I generally opted for a black coffee or standard water. She smiled happily again and cracked the top then put the bottle to her nose to feel the popping of the bubbles under her nose. That too, had always been the same.
The movie she had playing was a classic from the 1950's that I remembered watching on my grandpaps old black and white tube TV. It drove home just how much of an age difference there was between us, even if I didn't look my age.
Two hours later, the movie was winding up and the food was gone. Ronny reached for the remote and turned the television off. It was nearing 9pm and I knew I had to go. With my apartment relinquished, I had limited options with most of those being out of the question. At least I had the Silverado. It wouldn't be comfortable, but it was better than anywhere else. Standing up and stretching, then collecting the empty cheese board, I walked it through to the kitchen.
"I'll wash your dishes, then I should go." I announced loudly thinking Ronny was still in the lounge, until her arms wrapped around me from behind and her chin strained to reach my shoulder. I remembered when she could do that easily. Had I really put on so much height? Sam said I had, but I just didn't see it, until now because the girl wrapped around me had been able to easily reach my shoulder when we danced together in October last year.
"Do you have to?" She asked in a pleading yet timid voice.
"Yep." I replied swiftly while turning on the faucet, then washing the board and cheese knives once the water was hot enough. I knew what she was angling for. I had known for the last hour, ever since her hand snuck under my shirt while we watched the King of Siam dance with the Governess. She appeared to have a fascination with my belly button and abs, continually caressing and playing. Part of me really wanted to give in to her suggestion, if only to get back at Sam, except I knew she wouldn't begrudge me for acting like a teenager with another teenager. We had had more than enough conversations about that kind of thing. Some in which she urged me to put my 'silly notions' behind me because as long as we both freely gave consent, that was all that mattered. She said my inhibitions were literally in my head.
"We've got plenty of time. I just thought that maybe…" Her hand slipped under my shirt again and found my ribs. I shut my eyes tight when her little finger dipped into my navel sending frissons of really really good feelings everywhere, then gripped her hand through my shirt to stop her from going any further.
"Ronny. We talked about this." I reminded her. Slowly, I pulled her hand away then tucked my shirt in before turning to face her.
"But I turned seventeen in April, and I'm the only one at school not doing it." She informed me as if having sex at her age was like a fad diet or chatting on the new social media platform known as 'TheFacebook'. Everyone was doing it, and if you weren't then there was something wrong with you.
"It's not a competition, Ronny. Don't think you have to rush into sex just because everyone else is. Half of your friends are probably making it up anyway." I said since I knew that teenagers typically liked to brag about things they had never done just so they could stay with the popular crowd. That had been why I rushed head long into my first time because all the boys on the hockey team claimed they had reached fourth base. It was only later that I discovered I was only one of two on the hockey team who were not virgins at the end of high school.
"Please John. I promise I won't tell anyone. I just…" She pressed her lips together and laid her head sideways against my chest. "I have condoms." She murmured, her arms going back around my body.
"Ronny, that isn't the issue here. I just… I can't be what you need. You have to trust me when I say that I'm not the right person." I reiterated my lines from that day in the school cafeteria. "Besides, aren't you with that Quarterback, Hudson?" I asked, reminding her of how she had proudly announced it loud enough for me – and everyone else – to hear before I left on my trip up north.
"Kind of, but not in the way that it counts. He's only with me because all the other guys have girlfriends in the cheerleading squad. We only go out together with a group, never on single dates and he always tries to…" I felt her shiver and grip me tighter. My instincts told me that it was in fear and before I knew it, my arms were around her trying to soothe the panic.
"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked, already knowing the answer to that question but needing hear it for myself. I grew angry at the thought that he had hurt her in any way and instantly cursed myself for walking away after Homecoming last year. I may have been half his size back then, but he learned pretty early on not to give me any hassles after I put him on his ass with an over the shoulder throw when he tried to assert his authority over a particular area in the school that I happened to choose as my lunch spot. He telegraphed his punch so loudly, that I saw it coming before he wound his arm back.
"I'm scared. Huddy has been… umm… well you see, the 4th of July party is coming up and Huddy, well he's telling people that he's going to have me. He says he's going to make me scream… and… oh God!" She sobbed, her hands gripping the back of my shirt tightly. "He tries all the time when we go out. He's rough and… I know it hurts the first time, but I know you won't hurt me. You could make it special." She pleaded.
The 4th of July party was a little over a week away. All the Mountain Springs seniors would be there, and I had no doubt that Hudson would be able to overpower Ronny into giving him what he wanted. And he would hurt her. He still might, but if I gave her this, at least she wouldn't regret her first time. She would know what it was supposed to be like rather than the only thing a boisterous teenage boy with a reputation to uphold could give her.
Closing my eyes, I fought with the little voice that said it would be fine by remembering that I was technically 16 rather than a dirty old man, that it wasn't taking advantage because she was consenting. Sam's insistent voice rang in my brain, her confession that she would have asked a 32-year-old Jack O'Neill to be her first if she had known him when she was Ronny's age. Except that it still felt wrong because in my brain, I wasn't 16 and she was, but that if I refused to be her first, the party would happen, and she would likely have her first time forced upon her. Shit. Talk about an ethical dilemma.
The conversation with Sam today had not gone the way I wanted. It had inevitably turned personal and things – harsh things – were said on both sides. She didn't want me on base, and I didn't want to go back to the house and pretend my new life was not falling apart.
Deep down, I knew the General was trying to protect me from something but the fact that she hadn't trusted me enough to tell me what was going on just plain hurt. We had been through hell and back since I walked into her life. I had died and been resurrected in a strange and very surreal kind of way. Hell, I had visibly aged three years in the last three months. The last time anything so outrageously weird as that happened was before Loki and due to Kynthia's special marriage cake inserting millions of tiny nanites into my bloodstream. My once brown hair turned grey then white. Even after all the nanites were gone, my hair stayed salt and pepper, not that I had an issue with that. Sam seemed to enjoy my hair even more after that and I tried not to focus too much on the reasons why, intent on enjoying the feel of her fingers when she dared to go that far.
But all that was gone now, along with the trust. I still loved her fiercely, but her jabs at my age and the fact that I wasn't the man I used to be hurt, though it was me that effectively severed the tie between us by telling her not to call me. Now here I was seeking refuge with my ex-girlfriend who wanted me to grant her probably the most special thing a man could give to a woman. An enjoyable and memorable first sexual encounter. Breathing out a heavy sigh, and dropping my nose into her hair, I opened my mouth and answered before I could stop myself.
"OK." I murmured. She stepped back and smiled appreciatively, then – in a flurry of motion – grabbed my hand and dragged me towards her bedroom. So much for me not ending up in bed with anyone tonight.