Chapter 12

Rose couldn't shake the memory of the kiss. Every time she thought about it, her stomach twisted in knots. She was angry—at herself, at Jack, at the way everything had spiralled so quickly out of control. She had come here to escape, to find peace in work and distance from her past. But now, she felt as though she was trapped in something she hadn't anticipated, something she didn't want.

Jack, on the other hand, had been keeping his distance, though she felt his eyes on her every time they were in the same room. There was tension in the air, thick and heavy, and neither of them knew how to move past it.

It all came to a head one afternoon when they were both in the barn, taking care of the horses. The sun cast long shadows across the floor, the air filled with the familiar scent of hay and leather. Rose was brushing one of the horses, trying to lose herself in the task, when Jack walked in, his presence instantly sending her nerves into overdrive.

He didn't say anything at first, just moved around the barn, doing his own work. But the silence between them was unbearable, charged with everything they weren't saying. Finally, Jack spoke, his voice low. "Rose, we need to talk."

Her hands froze mid-brush, her jaw tightening. She didn't want to talk. Not about that. Not about the kiss. "I don't think we do," she muttered, continuing to brush the horse as if she could somehow brush away the tension too.

But Jack wasn't going to let it go. "You can't just pretend like nothing happened."

Rose snapped, slamming the brush down on the wooden ledge, the sound loud and jarring in the quiet barn. She whirled around to face him, her eyes blazing. "What do you want me to say, Jack? That I regret it? Fine. I do. I regret it."

Jack flinched, his brows furrowing in confusion and frustration. "Why are you doing this? Why are you pushing me away?"

"Because I didn't come here for this!" Rose shouted, her voice rising with her emotions. "I didn't come here to get caught up in some whirlwind romance with Sarah's brother! I came here to work, to clear my head, to—" She stopped, choking on her own words. To escape her past, to find some semblance of control in her life. But that wasn't something she could say out loud. Not to him.

Jack took a step closer, his voice softer now, more careful. "Rose, I never—"

"No, don't," she interrupted, holding up a hand to stop him. "You don't get it. I didn't ask for this. I don't want this. I just—" She stopped, running a hand through her hair, trying to gather her thoughts. "I need to be here for me, not for you."

Jack stared at her, his expression hardening as he processed her words. "You were the one who kissed me, Rose."

Rose's frustration boiled over. "Because you basically forced me to kiss you!"

"Forced to kiss me? My god. You can't just twist this story around to make me look bad. We both knew it was going to happen. We both wanted it."

"No."

His face softened then, his eyes narrowing with a quiet understanding. "What are so scared of, Rose? Why can't you just talk to me?"

Her anger flared. "Don't presume things for me! You don't know me, Jack. So stop acting like you do."

For a moment, Jack just stood there, his hands at his sides, his jaw clenched. Then he took a deep breath and nodded, his eyes flickering with something Rose couldn't quite read. "You're right. I don't know everything about you. But I know enough to see that you're scared."

Rose swallowed hard, her throat tight. "I'm not scared."

"You are," Jack said quietly, stepping closer but keeping his distance. "You're scared because you think if you let yourself feel anything, this wall you've build around yourself, it'll fall apart. But life isn't like that, Rose. You don't have to run from everything."

"I am not running from anything." She was gritting her teeth so hard it was starting to hurt.

"You are. You are running from something and you are scared. So stop pretending as if you are not, because I know you are lying."

"I'll tell you the truth right here, right now, Jack," Rose managed to say, but she could feel the tears stinging in her eyes, "I feel nothing for you. I want nothing to do with you. That kiss was nothing but a moment of weakness and I regret it. So turn your attention to the woman who does want anything to do with you and just leave me alone!"

The silence in the barn was heavy after Rose's words, both of them still feeling the sting of their fight. Jack stood there, his jaw tight, his eyes stormy as he looked at her. Before either of them could say another word, the barn door swung open, and Betty stepped in with an amused smirk.

"There you two are. I was looking all over, but honestly, I could hear you both from halfway across the farm," she said, folding her arms. "What on earth are you even fighting about this time?"

Jack immediately looked away, muttering something under his breath as he ran a hand over his face. Rose, still seething, clenched her fists and opened her mouth to respond, but Betty cut her off with a raised eyebrow.

"Anyway, I didn't come here to listen to whatever... this is," Betty continued, waving a hand between them. "I came to ask if you two still want to come to Lake Wissota. Everyone's waiting."

Jack's expression softened, and he glanced at Rose before nodding to Betty. "Yeah, I'll be right out."

He didn't look back at Rose as he left the barn, and the sound of his footsteps crunching on the gravel outside was strangely final. Rose felt a strange mix of relief and disappointment as she watched him go, the door swinging shut behind him.

Betty turned back to Rose, giving her a curious look. "Well?"

Rose let out a heavy sigh, shaking her head. "I don't think I'll be going. There's still a lot to be done here on the farm."

Betty rolled her eyes, walking over to where Rose was standing and placing a hand on her shoulder. "Oh, nonsense. Even Mr. and Mrs. Davison are coming along, and they're just as busy as you are, if not more. Besides," she added with a grin, "my mother specifically asked for you as a chaperone. For me and Jack," she added with a wink. "Can't leave us without a watchful eye, can she?"

Rose rolled her eyes but chuckled, despite herself. "I'm not sure I'd be much of a chaperone," she muttered, feeling the irony deeply.

"David will be there too."

Rose sighed, still hesitant, but Betty's insistence was breaking through her resolve. The idea of a day away, of laughter sounded appealing. And yet, the thought of Jack—of spending more time with him left her feeling unsettled. But she couldn't let his presence let her falter. Her intentions were now clear towards him and she had to continue forward.

"Fine," she said finally, glancing toward the barn door. "But only because you won't let me say no."

Betty grinned, giving her a wink. "That's the spirit. Come on, let's go and get you changed. Do you have a bathing suit to wear?"

Rose quickly shook her head as she followed Betty out. "I don't like to swim."

The lakeside was bustling with laughter, chatter, and the sounds of splashing water. Families, friends, and neighbors had gathered at Lake Wissota to cool off in the midday sun, the heat hanging heavy in the air. Rose sat beneath the shade of a sprawling oak tree, cradling baby Grace in her arms as she watched the scene from a safe distance. She was perched on a blanket beside David, who was chattering lightly about the latest news from town, but Rose found it hard to focus.

Across the lake, she could see Jack swimming with Betty, both of them laughing as they dove beneath the water's surface. Watching him there made her chest tighten. Their argument had left her feeling even more tense, unsettled. She'd spent all morning reliving their harsh words, each one sharper than the last, though neither of them had said what they truly meant. It left a lingering ache in her that no amount of lake air seemed to relieve.

Grace stirred in her arms, reaching a tiny hand up toward Rose's face. She managed a smile, her fingers brushing Grace's soft curls. The child's innocent gaze grounded her, helping her to momentarily forget the restlessness within her.

From across the lawn, a group of boys called out, beckoning Rose to join them for a swim. She shook her head quickly, offering a polite smile and lifting her hand in decline. "Maybe next time!" she called back, trying to keep her voice light.

David turned to her, raising an eyebrow. "I didn't take you for someone to shy away from a swim."

Rose forced a chuckle. "Oh, I just…my hand isn't fully healed yet. I wouldn't want to overdo it." She lifted her bandaged hand a little, using it as a shield.

David nodded with a small smile. "Good excuse, but if you ever change your mind, I'd be happy to keep you company."

She nodded politely, feeling a pang of guilt for hiding the truth. It wasn't her hand keeping her out of the water—it was fear, an icy fear that gripped her whenever she got too close. It was a memory she couldn't shake, haunting her. She glanced over to where Jack was, noticing how effortlessly he moved through the water, completely at ease. Betty was laughing beside him, her face flushed and happy. Jack's gaze, however, wasn't on Betty at that moment—it was on Rose. She caught him watching her, and for a second, the space between them felt electric. Her heartbeat quickened, and she looked away, pretending to focus on David's words as he resumed talking about the new shop opening up in town.

The boys around Rose were relentless in their persuasion, shouting and teasing her from the shallows. Finally, one of them, a tall, grinning boy named Tom, called out, "Fine, if you won't swim, at least pass me one of those sandwiches from the basket!"

Rose felt a flicker of relief at the harmless request. She handed Grace back to Sarah, picked up the basket, and made her way toward the water, glancing down to ensure her footing was steady as she approached the boys by the edge. She carefully pulled out a sandwich and held it out to Tom, her lips parting in a polite smile.

But instead of taking the sandwich, Tom's hand closed around her wrist, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "Come on, Rose," he teased, "time to cool off!" And before she could process what was happening, he gave a playful tug, pulling her off-balance and straight into the water.

For a moment, everything was a blur. The shock of cold water engulfed her, rushing around her in a torrent of sound and sensation. She went under, the world darkening, her heartbeat roaring in her ears. She kicked to the surface, but the moment her face broke free, panic overwhelmed her. She could feel her limbs thrashing, her breaths shallow and frantic.

She thrashed, trying to scream, but her mouth opened and the water surged in. A wave of cold, suffocating panic flooded her senses. Water filled her mouth, and she coughed violently, choking as she tried to breathe. The memories came crashing down, overwhelming her — the screams, the icy water, the endless black depths pulling her down. She was drowning again, alone, helpless.

Jack heard the scream, a sound that cut through the air like a knife. His blood turned to ice, and without thinking, he tore through the water, his heart hammering in his chest. He pushed past the others, ignoring the startled cries of those around him, and sprinted toward the shore, toward Rose.

"Rose!" His voice was sharp, desperate. He saw her thrashing in the shallows, her face pale with terror, her eyes wide and unseeing. Water splashed around her, her mouth gasping for air but only drawing in more water.

"Rose!" Jack's voice was more urgent now as he reached her. He grabbed her shoulders, pulling her upright, but her body convulsed with panic. Her arms slapped at him, her legs kicking wildly as if she were still trying to escape the water's deadly pull.

"Rose, it's me! It's Jack!" His voice was tight, trying to pierce through her panic, but she didn't hear him. She was trapped in a nightmare, her breaths short and ragged as she gasped for air. She was drowning — she was back on the ship, and there was no escaping this time. Water streamed down her face as she sputtered, coughing and choking, her chest heaving as she struggled to breathe. Her hands clawed at Jack, gripping him like he was her only tether to the world above the surface.

"Rose, listen to me." Jack's voice softened, but his hands remained firm as he held her. "I've got you."

Rose's eyes darted wildly, her body shaking uncontrollably. The lake felt like it was dragging her down, pulling her under. Her breath came in shallow, desperate gasps, her lungs burning as she tried to force the water out of her mouth.

Jack didn't let go. He pulled her closer, his arms wrapping around her, cradling her head against his chest as she trembled in his grasp. "Breathe, Rose. You're safe. You're here. You're with me."

The sound of his voice began to cut through the chaos in her mind, grounding her, pulling her back from the brink. Her body was still shaking, but she clung to him, gripping his shirt like a lifeline as the sobs wracked through her.

"I've got you," Jack whispered again, his hand stroking her wet hair as he held her. "You're safe. You're safe."

Rose collapsed into him, her body sagging with exhaustion as the terror finally began to release its hold. Her breaths came in ragged gasps, but they were slowing, and the water no longer felt like it was trying to pull her under. Around them, the others stood in stunned silence, the playful energy of the afternoon now replaced with shock and concern. Sarah hurried toward them, her face pale as she saw her brother and Rose huddled together at the water's edge.

"What happened?" Sarah asked breathlessly, her eyes wide with worry.

Jack shook his head slightly, his arms still around Rose as he helped her to her feet. "It's alright. We just need to get her out of here."

Rose nodded weakly, her body still trembling, her legs unsteady beneath her. Jack kept his arm around her, supporting her as they made their way up the land. He glanced back once, his gaze hardening on Tom who stood frozen in place, his face pale with guilt. When they reached the shallows, he helped her to her feet, his hand never leaving hers as he led her out of the water. She was shivering, her legs barely holding her weight, but she managed to meet his gaze. His face was tense, worry etched in every line, his eyes searching hers. Her fingers clutched tightly at him, refusing to let go, even as David came rushing over, his hand outstretched.

"Here, let me help—" David started, but Rose only gripped Jack tighter, as if afraid he'd slip away and leave her alone. Jack glanced at David with a nod, signaling him to give them a moment. David, looking concerned but understanding, stepped back.

Mark quickly draped a warm, thick blanket over Rose's shoulders, shielding her from the curious and worried glances of the crowd. He turned to Jack with urgency in his eyes. "Get her to the carriage and take her home. She needs to be away from all this."

The ride back to the farm was filled with a heavy, unspoken tension. Jack guided the horse in silence, the sound of the carriage wheels crunching over the dirt road the only noise between them. Rose sat beside him, shivering despite the blanket he had thrown over her shoulders, her wet clothes clinging to her skin, her hair still dripping with lake water.

Neither of them spoke a word.

When they finally reached the farm, Jack pulled the carriage to a stop in front of the house. He jumped down, his movements quick and almost mechanical, as if he couldn't bear to let himself feel anything in that moment. Without saying anything, he offered Rose his hand to help her down. She hesitated but took it, her fingers cold in his warm grasp. Her eyes flickered up to his face, but Jack avoided her gaze, his jaw tight with the weight of everything unsaid.

He led her inside, still in silence, his hand resting lightly on her back as if to guide her forward but careful not to linger. They moved through the house, their footsteps muffled on the wooden floors, until they reached her bedroom. Jack pushed open the door, stepping in only long enough to pull dry clothes from her dresser. He placed them neatly on the bed, glancing at her briefly—just long enough to make sure she was steady on her feet.

As Jack turned to leave, he could still hear the faint, unsteady rustling as Rose struggled with the wet fabric clinging to her. He paused just outside her door, one hand still on the handle, hesitating. The shock and vulnerability he'd seen in her at the lake still lingered in his mind, an unexpected side of her that had stirred something protective within him.

Rose sat on the edge of her bed, shivering as she ran her hands down her arms, trying to warm herself in the chilled air that clung to her damp skin. The weight of her corset had become unbearable, the laces too waterlogged to loosen on her own, and she felt utterly exhausted.

Jack knocked lightly on the doorframe before stepping back in. "You're all right?" he asked gently, his voice softer than usual.

She nodded, but there was a hint of frustration in her eyes, a vulnerability she couldn't hide. "I— I still can't get it undone," she admitted, glancing down at the stubbornly tied laces.

Wordlessly, Jack moved closer. "If you don't mind," he said, his fingers hovering near her back. She nodded, giving him permission to proceed, and he began loosening the soaked fabric with care, his fingers brushing against her shoulder blades as he worked. His hands moved with a gentleness Rose hadn't expected, steady and respectful.

She took a shaky breath, feeling his hands slide down to untangle a knot in the laces. Her cheeks flushed, but she kept her eyes down, focusing on the rise and fall of her breath as he carefully freed her from the corset. When he finally eased the last of it away, Rose let out a sigh of relief, her shoulders sinking as the weight lifted.

"There," he murmured, stepping back slightly. He bit his lip and cleared his throat, his gaze shifting away. "I'll be downstairs if you need anything."

Once outside, Jack sat on the porch, the cool evening breeze washing over him as he let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. His hands were still trembling slightly from the adrenaline of pulling Rose from the water. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, trying to collect himself.

Half an hour passed before he heard the soft creak of the door behind him. Jack didn't turn around. She settled beside him, her hair still damp, but her clothes dry. The faint scent of the lake still clung to her, a reminder of the moment they had just lived through. They sat in silence for a long while, the night air thick with the emotions neither of them could yet voice. Rose's breath was shallow, her eyes red and full of unshed tears. Jack kept his gaze fixed ahead, staring out at the darkened fields, unsure of what to say, unsure of what she needed from him.

After what felt like an eternity, Rose finally spoke, her voice barely more than a whisper. "Thank you."

"Why didn't you tell us you can't swim?" Jack asked softly, trying to piece together what had just happened.

"I can swim," Rose whispered, her voice flat, emotionless. She still wouldn't look at him, her eyes fixed on the porch floor, her body curled in on itself beneath the blanket.

Jack frowned, confusion clouding his features. He could feel something deeper going on, something far worse than just a fear of water. "Rose... that was more than just fear. What happened to you? Please," he said as if he was almost begging her to reveal herself, "let me in."

His voice was so gentle, filled with concern, that it undid something inside her. The kindness—the care—was too much. It made her feel exposed, vulnerable. She didn't deserve it, not after what she had been hiding, not after how she had treated him. The tears came suddenly, unstoppable, bursting forth like a flood she could no longer hold back. She pressed her hands to her face, trying to contain it, but it was useless. Her body convulsed with sobs as the weight of her past crashed down on her, heavier than it had ever been.