Continuing Lessons

Your fingers tap against your desk in the early hours of the morning. Looking ahead at your plans, you shall not have much time to spend on anything save work. There are the Chasind to speak to, which shall likely take a day, then you must speak to your neighbours. That itself will take many days, depending on whether they are willing to congregate or not.

It is irksome, as you had hoped to continue Merrill's lessons further. You feel as though you have too much to teach her in far too little time. That, and she had mentioned something last week that seemed like it was important.

With a sigh you stand and walk to the door. You will simply have to delay your departure for a day and spend it with Merrill. It may impact your meetings, but perhaps you will be lucky and return early.

The thought of experiencing good fortune even manages to conjure a bitter laugh from you.

Merrill seems surprised when you find her. "Nelyafinwë, what brings you here? Is something wrong?"

You shake your head and smile kindly. "Not at all, in fact I feel that I should apologise for leading you to believe that I would only seek you out in dire need."

"Oh, no, that's not what I meant at all." Merril says rapidly, waving her hands and shaking her hands. "It's just that we're all so busy, it's not, I'm not trying to…"

"My apologies then." You state, interrupting her before she can spiral further. "I spoke without thought. In truth I am incredibly busy, but I had hoped to have a lesson with you this week. Hence I thought it best to do so now, before my time is entirely consumed with work."

Merrill frowns. "Well… I do need to check on the spell, but if I leave tomorrow…"

"It is no particular concern if you do not have the time." You inform her. "It is only that I am uncertain if I will have time after my other duties and wanted to secure this task before I departed. If you are too busy, we can try later, if time allows."

Merrill's expression firms. "No. I can make time. The spell's not urgent or anything, we just wanted it secured before we leave."

That reminds you that you have not yet spoken with your companions of who shall be accompanying you to face the Blight. Admittedly that is largely their own decision to make, but it might be wise to make some time in the next two weeks.

"Are the Sabrae planning on joining Ferelden then?" You ask.

"Not exactly." Merrill grimaces. "Actually, there's a pretty strong faction that say we should just leave."

Her words take you by surprise, and it takes an embarrassingly long time to process them. While you knew the Dalish were nomadic intellectually, they had been here as long as you knew them. Subconsciously you had equated them to Laiquendi, who would die before they surrendered their land.

"Well, I would be sad to see you go, but if it is the safest decision for you clan." You say slowly.

"None of that!" Merrill snaps. "I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not going to just watch my clan abandon everything we've built here because they're scared."

Understanding dawns as you connect the pieces. "Ah, that is what you were doing at your clan last week."

Merrill nods, and angrily says, "The Keeper thought it was a fine idea, and I spent more time arguing with her than is strictly polite. Still, I managed to get her to at least reconsider."

"Are you certain?" You ask, slowly and carefully. "If it is the best decision for the clan…"

"In the short term, sure." Merrill responds, without a moment of hesitation. "But how will it look later? What will people think of the clan that ran in the face of the Fifth Blight? You said we need to start looking at the long term now that we're immortal, and if we're going to reclaim the Dales, we need to accept that we can't just ignore the rest of the world."

You laugh and shake your head. "Forgive me then, for doubting you. It seems you have given this thought worthy of a Minya of the Nandëo."

Merrill's face flushes bright red. "Um, well, you're forgiven? I mean thank you! I mean… Let's get to that lesson."

You laugh brightly at Merrill's response. "Certainly. Now, I am content with the progress you have made with songs of power so I see no reason to push ourselves further in that aspect."

Merrill absently massages her throat. "I mean, I'd like to be able to use it in combat…"

"Ah, I was unaware that your people had ways to stretch three weeks in to a quarter of a century." You reply.

The Nandëo winces. "It takes that long?"

"To wield song in combat is quite challenging." You state gravely. "There is a reason Tulkas wrestled Morgoth and the Noldor marched to war with swords rather than harps in our hands."

"I'm sure that would be very impressive if I knew who either of those people were." Merrill says tiredly. "But fine, I take your point."

You are briefly tempted to remind Merrill that you have told her of Morgoth before, but in the end you decide it is not worth the argument. Perhaps one day you will discuss the Valar with her as you once did with Xandar.

"Perhaps we could take this time to work on your magic together." You offer instead.

"I thought this was supposed to be a lesson for me. "Merrill says with a self satisfied smirk. "If you want me to teach you something I suppose that I can manage."

"I do not believe there would be much benefit to learning your magic any further." You state. "Whatever else may change, I cannot wield mana in any meaningful manner."

"Was that a pun?" Merrill asks suspiciously.

"Yes, rather a good one I thought." You reply.

Merrill rather rudely rolls her eyes, but you graciously ignore it and continue, "I feel that it is best if I look over what you are doing with your magic in the hope that I can contribute a unique perspective."

"Well, it does sound fun, and you've been surprisingly helpful in the past." Merrill says. "Plus if you don't understand something then I get to tell you I told you so."

"I am starting to think that I should not let you meet my brothers." You inform the elf.

This is not strictly the first time you have worked on magic with Merrill, it is however the first time in a long time that you have done so without some looming project. Aside from checking on the spell with the Lady later this week, Merrill currently has no ongoing research.

Thus your conversation wanders somewhat randomly. It probably should not be a surprise that it ends up landing upon the unique magic of the Dalish.

"Technically Keeper magic isn't part of any of the typical schools taught by the Circle." Merrill explains. "I guess it pulls from creation and entropy, more the latter than the former."

"From your description it sounds rather similar to gardening." You reply. "If taken to an extreme that Yavana would find worrying and praiseworthy in equal amounts."

"Oh yes, I remember you said that you don't really have magic in your land." Merrill says, excitement growing again. "How does that work? I mean, you mentioned that it's skill taken to the next level, but what does that mean exactly? Like, how does it work?"

You pause to gather your thoughts, reviewing what you've already told Merrill.

"It is a matter of understanding of what you are doing and why." You begin slowly. "Then you have to extend that out into how that interacts with what is rather than what seems."

Merrill nods slowly. "Ok. So that scans with what I recall, like food that fills more than it should."

You nod. "Of course, there are the things we would refer to as powers rather than skill, most of which we have borrowed from the Ainur. I heard tales of a substance from Doriath called Lembas, which is more filling than the bread I make and tastes better."

"Huh." Merrill frowns. "How's that different from what you do yourselves?"

You shrug. "Partly because the Ainur are more capable of causing things to happen simply because they wish it to, while the Eldar are more bound to the laws of the world. However, it is not as though we cannot do so ourselves, we just lack the power and experience to know how."

Merrill frowns. "It sounds like what you're describing is that the Ainur are just better at what they do than you… or uh, what are you called again?"

"Eldar would be the easiest collective." You reply. "Technically Quendi is the more accurate, as Eldar excludes the Avari, but I do not speak of them, for I know nothing of them."

"Why is that?" Merrill asks.

"Because they dwell far away and never seek the company of the Noldor." YOu reply with a careless shrug. "Now, do you wish to discuss magic or the intricate history of my people?"

"Magic." Merrill yelps, like she is afraid you will begin a history lecture if she does not speak swiftly.

For a moment you feel like you hear ghostly voices chorus 'same' and the cackling of the twins. Then the feeling is gone, as quickly as it came.

You shake off the feeling and the melancholy that accompanies it. "Do you wish to hear of the 'magic' of skill or that we learned of from the Ainur?"

Merrill pauses now, biting her lip in thought. You do not interrupt her as she clearly struggles internally with the decision.

"I really want to hear more about how you turn skill into something that can be mistaken for magic." She says at length. "I'm still not wrapping my head around how it's possible."

"Yet your manner of speech indicates that is not the decision you have made." You note.

Merrill smiles weakly at you. "Yeah. I mean, I really want to know that, but I have so many thoughts that I just have to run past you otherwise I might just explode."

"Very well." You reply with a tolerant chuckle. "Speak your thoughts and I will comment as best I am able."

Merrill's smile strengthens at your laugh and the words seem to leap from her mouth. "So, you said that it's about understanding what you're doing and how it all works, right? So then, logically doesn't that mean it could apply to magic itself?"

You tilt your head, considering the idea. "It should be possible, though I lack the knowledge of the subject to be certain."

"What would that even look like then?" Merrill asks with a frown. "I mean, it's already magic, so how could you make magic out of a skill about magic?"

The gesture you make is a strange one to this land, so you follow it up with a shake of your head. "You are conceptualising the matter incorrectly. We do not call it magic, humans call it magic. What in reality we are discussing is a level of skill so far beyond the norm that the ignorant have no way of conceptualising it save magic."

Merrill's confused expression slowly morphs into thought, then into understanding. "So what you're saying is that if you get good enough at something, then you can do things that other people think are impossible?"

"Or perform ordinary tasks with such ease and seeming lack of effort that it appears to be supernatural." You agree.

"So like, if you could cast a spell with such ease that most people can't even tell you've used mana?" Merrill asks.

You shrug. "What it would look like is beyond my understanding. I am not a mage, and cannot easily discern what is easy and difficult, nor what is and is not possible. The best example I can think of is the creation of great items."

"Great items?" Merrill asks.

"Indeed." You state, to Merrill's clear irritation.

Before she can say anything you continue, "There are things that can be made but once in a crafter's life. Items of power and skill that represent a singular moment when all aligns to create the final result. The two trees, the Silmarils, my Persilima."

"You mean the crystal you made in a furnace somehow that also somehow glows from within and seems to be inherently antithetical to anything 'evil'." Merrill asks flatly. "That impossibility? I mean, as an example of something impossible being done by skill I guess it works, but I don't really see how that helps the discussion."

"Ah, but it is an excellent example of the differences." You state with a wide grin and raised finger. "Tell me Merrill, would you go to war over the Persilima? Do you covet it? Wish to possess it at all costs?"

"Of course not!" Merrill exclaims. "I mean, don't get me wrong it's pretty and interesting and I don't think I could make one, but I'm not going to steal it or attack anyone over it."

"Exactly." You say somberly, finger coming down as your thoughts turn to dark days. "Because I am not even half the craftsman my father was, when I had such a moment I created a product far inferior to the Silmarils."

Merrill's gaze is clearly torn between sympathy and curiosity. "Were they really that beautiful? That powerful?"

"Even more so than you now imagine." You reply softly. "The greatest work of the greatest smith, more beautiful than the stars themselves."

The conversation halts here for a time. Eventually Merrill will voice more of her thoughts, and you will discuss the matter further, even continuing to do so over the course of the week in the evenings, but for now she speaks not.

Marshalling the Chasind

When the second day of the week dawns, it finds you already on the road. The planning of an army on the march takes time, especially with a group as decentralised as the Chasind, and you want to have as much time to discuss the matter as possible.

Not for the first time you marvel at the dissonance between what you are doing and the world around you. In the early dawn light, birds sing and the sky is painted beautiful colours. Beneath it you ride towards a people driven from their homes to speak of war and vengeance.

The morning of the Third Kinslaying had been beautiful too.

The village of the Berāgrap clan is filled with the kind of tension that you expect of people who know war is coming. You had not thought that they would know, given that no Chasind were available for your meeting last week, but then again you had not exactly forbidden anyone from speaking of the coming Blight.

Thus, it is absolutely no surprise when Velkind meets you with serious eyes and an utter lack of the boasting that you associate with the man.

"Brightstar." He greets formally. "Dark night bring dark tidings yes?"

"I fear so, yes." You reply. "What have you heard?"

"Men of gold speak of the men of iron marching to war. The elves speak in whispers, discussing whether to flee or not. Now, Brightstar comes with face like storm." Velkind says seriously. "Do not need to be wóþbora to read signs. It is dark ones yes?"

"I fear it is so." You state gravely. "The hour has come. The Fifth Blight marches now in the open, war declared against all who live. I come to call upon the oaths you swore to me, that you join me in marching to face it."

"As sworn, we do." Velkind says, an all too familiar rage burning in his gaze. "We fight dark ones. Make them pay."

A better elf might launch into a speech about the dangers of vengeance. The cowards who turned back might even forbid him from accompanying you. You are neither a hypocrite, nor do you enjoy the luxury of hiding behind the Valar's skirts.

"I thank you for your loyalty, and I will strive to lead you wisely." You bow your head to him, and he returns the gesture. "Now, we must speak at some length of the march, and the plans required. Have you a stock of supplies?"

Velkind nods. "Enough to migrate, yes. We prepare, not for this, but for something."

"Grow it as best you can." You command. "Now, how many warriors will you be bringing?"

Velkind frowns deeply in concentration. "We having many warriors. Ten times six, and that again, at least"

"Then your first task after we finish our discussion is to get an exact count, so we know what we are working with." You inform him. "The question is, how many do you need to leave here to guard your people?"

Velkind chews his lip and does not respond.

At length he says quietly. "Brightstar. I think, now we think… I know not words. Whole clan go. We fight for home, or die."

You clamp down on a number of instinctive reactions in favour of listening. "I do not understand, what do you mean?"

Velkind speaks slowly, clearly groping for words. "You, Brightstar help. Bring from home to here because home not safe, but, uh, many trees not home. Home is home. We serve, because gods command and because Brightstar save, but we want to go home. We fight dark ones and win, then go home. Or not go anywhere."

You lean back and ask probingly, "Your whole clan feels this way?"

From behind you you hear one of Velkind's guards say, "Yes, Brightstar."

You lean back and think. The Chasind's demand is understandable, but you make no pretence that it does not make you uncomfortable. Leaving aside the parallels to your own people's exodus to Beleriand, the fact of the matter that bringing a whole people on the march would be challenging.

However, as you look over the guards and Velkind himself, the determination in their eyes is clear. Many had spoken against your father in the darkness of Valinor, but he had not heeded them. So too do you doubt that any words of yours will convince them to not bring their people to battle.

With that said, your conscience would not let you rest if you allowed them to drag their whole people to war. You have many regrets from the First Age, but that your mother was spared its hardships and privations is not one of them. Perhaps it was cruel to leave her behind as she was, but you would have regretted her being beside you.

Especially for the beginning and the endings.

"Though I do not agree, I will not forbid you from something that is so clearly important to you." You begin carefully. "However, I must say that to bring everyone along is unwise in the extreme."

"To fight darkspawn unwise." Velkind points out. "To follow Brightstar into forest unwise. Time for what is wise is long gone. Berāgrap clan fight for home, fight for what we lose."

"Perhaps." You allow. "However, to abandon all caution is unnecessary. There are those who cannot aid with the coming war. The sick, the child, those too old to lift a sword. They should remain here, safe."

Velkind immediately shakes his head. "No. Cannot be done, clan is clan, we not abandon anyone."

"It would hardly be abandonment." You point out. "Unless you do not plan to return, and even then I and my forces can carry a message. You could meet them at Ostagar, I will even escort them personally to ensure their safety."

"What if all die? You, me, entire clan?" Velkind asks pointedly.

"Well, I am leaving warriors in the forest to defend it, and there is the power of the Lady protecting it, not to mention the Dalish." You point out.

"Then what?" Velkind asks. "With hunters and warriors dead how return to home? Who teach children ways of the marsh and the fen? How they grow into Chasind instead of men of iron?"

"They would have their elders and those who could not come with you." You point out with some exasperation. "More importantly they would be alive! If they come with you and the worst happens then they will die or worse!"

"Warrior with family at back fight harder, fight longer, no run from danger." Velkind stresses. "Stiffen weaker hearts!"

"I do not doubt your courage, nor do I wish to overstate the danger." You explain with forced calm. "I have every intention of winning if I can, but such things are not always within my power and I have seen too many of my people's kingdoms come to ruin to allow you to throw away lives of the innocent if the worst should come. Leave behind the weak, the helpless. They will only burden us in victory and are at greatest risk in defeat."

Velkind is silent for a long time, head bowed in contemplation. For your part, you reflect that this has not been your best showing. Still, you cannot think of an elegant way to work in further arguments, though you know they exist. You are conscious of the stares of Velkind's guards on their leader as he raises his head with determined face.

He meets your gaze without flinching. "Brightstar speak as if battle already lost. We go for victory or we go to death. We are one tribe. One people. We return home together or we not return home. I will not abandon anyone just because it easy. Whole tribe goes, or no one goes."

Velkind's eyes shine with determination, a familiar determination as grim and terrible as it is. Words will not sway him, he feels not that he has no choice but that no other choice is right. Then again, perhaps you do him a disservice comparing what he has said and plans to do to your own people's flight from Aman.

After all, he is going home not leaving it, and he speaks not of great kingdoms that could be built there, merely of the determination to retake it or die trying.

"Very well, if that is your will then I shall not argue with you." You say tiredly. "I ask only that if there are those who do not wish to or are unable to accompany you then they be sent to my home. There they shall have shelter and be permitted to return, you have my word."

Velkind shrugs. "As you want Brightstar."

You can tell, both from his careless manner and your experience with humans, that few if any will avail themselves of that offer. You know better than most eldar, who are not exactly ignorant in such matters, the pressure that can be brought to bear without threats or demands.

Your heart is now torn. Part of you wishes to race off to the Morgenstorra clan and speak to them. They are more pliable in general and are made of a greater proportion of the helpless. After all, you found them in a state where they could barely defend themselves.

Yet on the other hand, is this not what you wanted? The whole point of allowing people their own governance is that they are free to make decisions you would not. So too, do you think that it would be hard to convince them. Even if you did, it would likely impact the unity between the two clans you are trying to promote.

Still, you balance between the two options, the desire to spare the innocent and the desire to treat the clans fairly. The decision must be made and you can only choose one path.

"Now, let us turn our discussion to other matters." You state. "There is much to coordinate, especially if you are bringing so many non-combatants."

You can only hope that you are not sacrificing what is right on the altar of what is expedient. There are many evil titles you hold rightfully, but you have no particular desire to add hypocrite to them.

The matters of bringing a force to the battlefield are familiar ground to you. Even with the added wrinkles of bringing along civilians, well it is hardly the first time you have done that. In fact, thanks to Morgoth's kind actions, you have extensive experience with living life like a nomadic clan.

Where to meet, how to move, which directions to go and how to disseminate information among the mass are all problems you know well. Velkind too, has experience with them, as this is a routine matter to his clan. His primary concern is the terrain, as even with all the time they have dwelt here they are still somewhat unfamiliar with it.

By the same token, your greatest concerns are food and timings. When will they move and how long will it take? What shall they eat upon the march?

The answers to these questions are partially solved by maps (drawn by you from memory) and partly by discussion. No, they will not necessarily be able to hunt on the march, so they need a reserve of two weeks of food at minimum. Then you discuss how to organise hunting to maximise storage (a problem you throw at Ranger without shame).

After that you have to do it all again with Thea at the other clan, but again, it is not as though no one knows how to handle such matters. Truth be told the greatest problem you face with both of them is convincing both clans that 'some light looting' is very much NOT expected on the march.

Why must humans be so barbaric?

You leave with everything taken care of, and quite pleased with yourself. Though you have the nagging feeling like you have overlooked something, it could not possibly be important, as you cannot recall it to memory with ease.