Chapter Two: Coming to Terms
It was an arduous thing getting out of bed. With naught but fitful sleep Dick was already dreading the day. The sun filtered through the now semi-open blinds, it was well past time to be up, yet Dick couldn't find it in himself to move. The last few days just kept playing on repeat in his head. Over and over and over. He didn't know what he could've done differently. How he could have approached the situation to achieve a more fortuitous outcome. He couldn't go back to being Nightwing, not if he wanted to steer clear of the near violent family in Gotham. Dick had told Bruce he wouldn't find him, now he just had to follow through.. After everything leading up to Spyral something had to give. It did give and now things were, at best, broken.
Dick had things he needed to do within the week. He needed to call Midnighter, find a place to move into so he could appease Damian, and talk to Tiger about a possible solution to his work situation. He had vast amounts of experience in a wide array of fields. Hacking, bodyguard work, espionage, gymnastics, there was honestly no end to what he could do. It just came down to what he would want to do.
Dick didn't think he could go back to and keep up a normal vigilante gig anymore. He'd crossed over into the gray area too much. He could try to abide by a vigilante's rules, Batman's rules, but he couldn't see the point. The legal system was corrupt and the constant cycle of capture and release held no delusions for him anymore. It wasn't a sport and he wasn't about to play that game again.
Heaving out a distressed sigh Dick threw his arm over his eyes shielding them from the infringing sunlight. If he wanted to do any of this he had to get out of bed. Had to find the motivation to swing his feet from the covers and get up. He could do this. Just get up and take a shower first. Get breakfast next and just go from there. Two things was all he needed to do to get started. Yet his feet felt like they were made of lead and honestly there was still no motivation to move something so deceptively heavy. Without warning a deep knock sounded against his door.
"I'm making breakfast Grayson. Be down in 15 to catch it hot." Tiger called through the solid wood door. Just loud enough that he'd be heard if Dick was awake yet quiet enough he wouldn't be woken from a deep sleep. Just like that Dick found his motivation. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to rely on putting up pretenses for motivation but it got the job done.
He sat up with a put upon sigh and glanced about the room. Everything was still as he remembered leaving it. A more intricate computer set up in the corner that pulsed blue with power. The monitors were powered down but he knew if he turned them on he'd have the full Spyral and Justice league network under his finger tips. His dresser at the foot of the bed was crowded with several nicknacks he'd picked up during missions, as well as a few pictures of his family he'd managed to snag from various security cameras. He'd have to wipe himself from Batman's system he realized belatedly.
There was something about how everything he'd done to make the space his own sung to him. How Tiger hadn't so much as touched anything here without inquiring first. So with that thought Dick got up and headed into the ensuite bathroom. Regardless if he was ok or not he wouldn't give Tiger anything beyond the obvious to worry about
The shower was a quick affair. A quick scrub with soap and some shampoo in his hair followed by a quick pass with conditioner. With a towel wrapped around his waist Dick paused for a moment in front of the mirror. A deep bluish purple bruise was spread across his lower jaw. He prodded it gently and winced slightly as it gave a bone deep twinge. Pushing past it Dick brushed his teeth and hung a towel over his dripping wet hair. Grabbing a pair of black shorts and a dark gray shirt, Dick dressed and walked out of his room scrubbing the towel into his wet hair.
The shutters that had been closed when he arrived were fully open, allowing the sun filter into the living room streak across the couch. Dick Glanced at Tiger as he sipped a cup of coffee from the couch with a book in his other hand. The living room was split from the kitchen by a breakfast bar that faced towards the large open windows. It had a pleasantly natural view but should anyone desire the T.V. hidden behind the wall across from Tiger was easily viewable as well.
"About time you made it out here. There's a plate of pancakes in the microwave." Tiger said, gesturing towards the kitchen. The Heavy scent of freshly brewed coffee drove Dick to the fresh brew first. After pouring a cup he reached for the microwave containing his breakfast. The pancakes in the microwave were still warm so Dick grabbed a jar of creamy peanut butter and smeared a generous helping on each of the two pancakes on the plate. A drizzle of syrup later and he was sitting at the breakfast bar. A large cup of milk and fresh cup of coffee sat with him as he began to devour his breakfast. He couldn't remember the last meal he'd actually eaten that wasn't rations or the ice cream he'd gotten with Damian and Alfred.
"I will never understand how you can eat them like that." Tiger said while watching Dick from the couch. An amused grimace on his face as he watched Dick pop a dripping morsel in his mouth. "How's the jaw? Looks painful." He mentioned with a concerned look before placing his book on the arm of the couch.
Dick shrugged while he washed down the last of the pancakes with the remainder of milk. His coffee sat steaming in front of him still and he debated drinking it as is or filling it with sugar and creamer. He stared into the murky steaming depths of his cup as if they held the answers. He must've been staring longer than intended as suddenly Tiger was there pushing the creamer and sugar at him. Dick gave him a weak smile and proceeded to dump copious amounts of sugar and creamer into the coffee.
"Sorry bout that, guess I'm not fully awake yet." Dick said as if he hadn't been up most the night trying to wrangle his emotions so he could sleep. He stirred the noxiously sweetened coffee, getting lost in the thoughts he'd tried to shove down yesterday. A simple sip sip and sighed in muted relief at the concoction had him feeling better regardless.
"I don't understand how you're even alive given what I see you eat half the time." Tiger murmured with his nose scrunched in disgust at the coffee held in Dicks hands.
"Pretty sure I'm here out of pure spite at this point." Dick smirked over his concoction of sugary sweet coffee. He took a few delicate sips before downing the whole cup. Grabbing his dishes he moved to the sink and started the water. Anything to delay the conversation he knew was coming.
"Are you going to make me ask Grayson?" Tiger's voice hummed behind him. It sent shivers up his spine as he fought with himself on where to start. The hot water was turning his hands red as he scrubbed needlessly long at the few dishes he'd made. Tiger knew what he was doing. Dick knew he couldn't put it off forever and he was distinctly aware of the slight frown marring his own lips.
Neither of them said anything as Dick placed the dishes in the drying rack. He turned and leaned against the sink with his hands braced against the edge. The unusual frown deepened as his thoughts raged against each other. He should probably start from the beginning, back when Bruce had enforced his orders for him to join Spyral. Yet he couldn't bring himself to admit what had happened. He could bring up how he'd gone into Spyral knowing he may not make it out alive, or should he start with something they were both familiar with. Such as Lex Luthor shoving that damned pill down his throat. There were so many points at where he could start that Dick was at a loss of where to begin.
"Why don't you tell me about the bruise that is painting your face." Tiger said as he grabbed Dicks hand to place an ice pack into his grasp. He gave Dick a wane smile before turning back to the couch he'd vacated. He'd given an out to Dick and the man jumped on it like a starving animal.
"The uh, reunion, didn't go as well as I had hoped." Dick swirled his wrist attempting to ease the hurt as he placed the ice against his jaw. "Besides Alfred and Damian it was. . . Well, I wasn't prepared for how it turned out." It was entirely an unexpected outcome. All the times the others had come back from a presumptuous death Dick had welcomed them regardless of the how or why. Not every situation was the same of course, but he'd thought they'd at least be happy to see him. "If the bruise wasn't evidence enough, they were upset to say the least."
"I no longer have family Grayson, but I can't imagine myself reacting as such should they appear before me again. It is one thing to be upset. It is another entirely to react to this degree." Tiger said calculatingly as he sat back on the couch. "Maybe they reacted under extreme circumstances. Maybe their grief for you was not something they'd yet to recover from over the time you were gone. Regardless, Their acts of violence in response to your return is deplorable at best." Tiger picked up his previously discarded book and glanced at Dick as he still leaned against the sink.
"I know, and maybe I am overreacting, but I can't shake the feeling they really don't want me back. That I shouldn't have come back." Dick spoke honestly, his voice beginning to crack. He could feel his shoulders sag in defeat as he admitted aloud these thoughts. Sure he was talking to Tiger, someone Batman would most likely disapprove of given their history, but they survived their trials and came out on top of it for the better. They'd survived the betrayal of Minos and Agent 5. Survived against odds pitted against them from the start. They had their rough patches of course. Times when they thought the other was going to kill them but really that came with the territory. They were spies, betrayal was literally an expectation. In the end however they were more than just partners in the same organization.
"You are not unwanted Richard. You will always have a place here and I doubt Midnighter and Apollo would begrudge you the same courtesy." Tiger said, his gaze never wavering from Dicks hunched shoulders. "You are my partner. We are there when the other has doubts and we assuage them of such things. You've patched me up more times than I can count Richard. Do not doubt, that if no one else, I desire your companionship." Tiger said sincerity flowing with every word.
Dick felt his cheeks flare at those words. The memory came unbidden of heated nights shared under the stars, of passions shared on days long missions. He'd never regretted those nights especially when it led to where they are now. This trust they shared was encompassing. Any lies told or orders given were taken with the acceptance that they had each other's safety at the forefront. They'd always discussed such things after a mission now anyway. So it wasn't so much of a stretch that it led to more than one fiery night under the stars.
Just as Dick was about to quip back a flirtatious response a quiet tone sounded in his ear. His hypnos alerted him of the incoming transmission. He scrunched his nose in thought for a moment before thumbing his hypnos to answer the line. He knew he gave the device to Damian but there was no sure fire way to know it was him who was calling. Bruce could have seized the device after he'd left. He wouldn't put it past the man.
"Richard." Damian's voice sounded in his ear. A smile split his face the second he heard his voice.
"Dami! I'm still looking for a place. Not even going to give me a day?" Dick joked as he pushed himself off of the counter, dropping the ice pack into the sink. The relief from his conversation with Tiger flowing stronger upon hearing Damian's voice.
"Nonsense Richard. I told you two weeks so you shall have it. I just. . . I needed to call you. To be sure." Dick could hear it now, the slight quiver coating the usually stoic voice now tinged with a somber tone.
"What's wrong Dami?" Dick asked as he made towards the couch. He sunk into the cushion beside Tiger and instead of sitting back he threw his legs over Tigers and laid along the rest of the couch. The soft grunt from Tiger had him smiling as hands draped over his legs. He knew Tiger was watching and listening but didn't mind his position in the slightest.
"I had to make sure." Words went unsaid but Dick understood. Damian needed the reassurance that the communicator worked. That Richard hadn't just up and vanished from him again. That he hadn't just dreamed his return from the dead.
"I'm here. As soon as I can find a place you can come over. Bruce approved or not." Dick said as a smile began coating his lips. "Just give me a few days and I'll let you know okay? Maybe we can even invite Alfred over for the first day."
"Grayson, you live here. Invite them whenever you wish. This is as much my home as it is yours." Tiger's deep voice rumbles and sends a shiver up his spine. Rough fingers prod at his calves and Dick felt himself melting at the massage. "Just let me know when they're coming. I'd prefer to have a fully stocked house if we are to have guests."
"Who is that?" Damian all but demanded. Richard could hear his aggressive defense even over the comm line. He almost laughed at the look he could imagine Damian giving Tiger through the device.
"He's my partner Dami, play nice." Dick chuckled out. "Give me till the weekend and check with Alfred to see if you two can come over. I'll figure out transportation from Gotham."
"Tt, this is an acceptable arrangement. I will inquire with the butler about an outing." Richard could hear the smugness oozing from Damian as plans to meet had been set in motion.
"I have to go but. . . I love you lil D." Dick whispered, wishing he could pull Damian in close and just soak in the warmth of the embrace. It was one of the things he missed about his family. Granted they weren't really a touchy feely group but Dick would take hugs where he could get them. There was just something about being wrapped up in another person that set his soul at ease. It was a balm to the aggravating mass of negative emotions he tries to contain.
". . . I love you baba." Damian murmured quickly before the line fuzzed out with a disconnection. Dick couldn't help the soft smile from pulling at the bruise on his jaw. He was content.
"So, partner, trying to leave me behind already?" Tiger's teasing tone had Dick humming as a blush flared across his cheeks. He'd meant what he told Damian in whichever capacity he took it.
"I didn't figure you'd want a lot of visitors here. I was just going to find a place to house myself and Damian should he wish to stay." Dick mentioned as he relaxed into the couch hyper aware of Tiger's hand on his legs.
"Your family is my family. Even if I don't agree with the way they treat you. Regardless, they are welcome here should you desire it. If I need to open up the second story just let me know. Although we'd probably need to outfit the rooms. Midnighter is the only one who has slept up there." Tiger thought aloud as he rubbed his thumb along Dicks calves. It was a soothing motion done mostly out of habit but Dick loved it nonetheless.
"I guess we need to figure out how to get them here then. Do you think Apollo would open a door for them? I don't want to take them via Spyral's tele-tube system." Dick said as he relaxed into the couch. The warm sun leaking from the windows was making him drowsy.
"There is no harm in asking. Though they would probably invite themselves over should that be the case. If you are fine with a house full of people then I shall oblige." Dick could feel Tiger watching him as he chewed his lip in thought. On one hand Dick would be getting the call to Midnighter out of the way, on the other, It would also be a complicated mess to have Damian and possibly Alfred meeting more than Tiger. Maybe if Apollo could open the door and give him at least a few hours to explain. No, Midnighter wouldn't want to wait. Given how long he'd been radio silent he's surprised they haven't tried to find him sooner.
"I can see the smoke coming out of your ears, Grayson." The turn of a page accented Tiger's voice. "If you're wondering about Midnighter and Apollo which you doubtlessly are, I've kept them posted. You should still talk to them though. My word can only do so much."
"Maybe after a nap." Dick yawned out as he let his eyes close. With the warmth radiating from Tiger and the comfortable position he was in, Dick felt himself drifting off in mere moments.
~~~~~~~~~~
Dick woke later, the last vestiges of a possible nightmare slipping out of his memory. The sound of harsh whispers and a distinct lack of warmth under his legs pulled him into awareness. He rolled on the couch so he could see who showed up while he was asleep. The towering figure reminiscent of Batman, all dark clothes and hard muscle with the angry tone, had his heart spiking in panic. A split second later Midnighters voice broke his panic.
"What do you mean he's fine?! Have you seen the shiner covering his face?! No! I won't calm down! What kind of bullshit family does this? Extenuating circumstances be damned Tiger!" Dick blinked at the angry whispers when they reached his ears. He didn't think Jason's punch still looked that bad, it had been a few days after all.
"Keep your voice down Lucas! You'll wake him up and so help me I will make you leave. I could hear him tossing all night so let the man sleep!" Tigers voice hissed from behind the hulking figure across the room. Dick could feel something warm bubble beneath his skin at the remark.
"We can talk to him later Luc. You know how Tiger gets when Dick is hurt." Another voice pleaded. Logically Dick knew it was Apollo, so when the arm covered in a white and gold skin suit reached around Midnighter, it just proved his thoughts right. Now though Dick was confused. He'd fallen asleep on the couch with Tiger after his conversation with Damian. Why exactly were Apollo and Midnighter here? It was a conundrum his still sleep-addled brain couldn't figure out.
"Look, can you just help me get some stuff done before he wakes up? I'm expecting company in the next few days and need to fill out the upstairs. Furniture is already there but blankets, towels and the works are what we need. Can you help or not?" Tiger relented with a wary sigh.
"Who's coming?" Midnighters' tone now quieter and lined with caution. Almost as if he was anticipating bad news.
"My family." Dick yawned out. "Or at least what's left of them." He stretched out along the couch enjoying the small cracks and pops before settling on his stomach to watch as the trio turned around. Tiger gave him a look with a scrunched brow as if disappointed.
"How are you feeling Dick?" Apollo asked, stepping forward and placing a gentle hand along the bruise on his face.
"It's not as bad as it looks." Dick hummed out while enjoying the warmth pooling against his skin. Apollo always ran warmer than anyone he knew. Maybe it was because of his powers but Dick always enjoyed his hugs and touch more because of it. "What're you guys doing here anyway? If I remember right, the plan was to call when I woke up." Dick raised his eyes to Tiger in question.
"He didn't out you so don't ruffle your feathers. We check in from time to time and considering we were getting worried? Midnighter wanted to make a home visit since we haven't heard from you." Apollo smiled as Midnighter sputtered in the background.
"You agreed with me! This wasn't wholly my idea!" Midnighter raised his hands in mock exasperation as Apollo leveled him with a stare. Dick let out a groan and buried his face into the cushion of the couch.
"To be fair I did warn you Grayson." Tiger's amused chuckle reached his ears and had him letting out another grunt into the cushion.
"Maybe if someone kept in touch with more than his partner we wouldn't have this problem." Midnighter snapped back the aggravation clear in his voice.
"My bad Midnighter. It was difficult even going through the motions. It took me a week to even work my way to this conclusion." Dick said with a gesture at the blues and purples marring his jaw. The thought of that week, as he had watched his family from a distance, was painful at best yet horrifyingly debilitating at its worst. Dick had struggled and called Tiger more than once in a panic after seeing Batman.
Pushing himself up Dick looked at the three people in his living room. The three people who were now the closest thing he could call family. "I know I've not been the best at communicating with you all but I am trying. I don't want to lose another family due to some misunderstanding or lie of omission." Dick rubbed the back of his neck at his admission of how he saw them, of what exactly they meant to him.
"We're not going anywhere birdbrain. Also I highly doubt Tiger will let you fall off the grid for more than a week. But if we're family that means you can rely on us. We're here for you just as you are there for us. It's a two way street here." Midnighter coughed out his voice laced with more emotion than Dick's heard before.
"He's right, you know. We're only a call away should you need anything Dick. Just don't forget that we are always in your corner." Apollo Pulled Dick into a tight hug at his reminder. Dick choked out a smile and squeezed Apollo tight in relief.
"So what's this I hear about Tiger sending you guys shopping of all things?" Dick couldn't help but ask, remembering Tiger asking them for their help and hoping to deflect away from his weeklong attempt to talk with his family.
"Are you ok Dick?" Apollo asked pushing past Dicks attempt at redirection. Concern poured from his voice and posture. His eyes searched Dicks for anything that might give him a clue and Dick couldn't help but wince at the question. Averting his eyes Dick shrugged. It was the best he could do. He wasn't fine, He knew for a fact his emotions, while contained, were pulling him apart at the seams. He might not be okay now but he would be.
"No, But I will be." Dick said firmly with a sad smile.
"You're honest so that is promising. Now, Tiger was saying how you had family coming to visit so preparations were needed." Apollo accepted the answer with a smile of his own before he stood with a final pat of Dicks shoulder.
"I've cleaned out one of the 4 rooms upstairs and a bathroom. The lack of blankets, pillows and towels needs to be addressed as well as a set of bathroom supplies for each guest. We need to restock the kitchen and something for entertainment may not be amiss." Tiger listed off as if assigning mission specs to his team. "I was hoping, as unexpected as their visit was, that they might see fit to help us get these things settled. I will take any requests for dinner as recompense."
"I'll finish cleaning the upstairs!" Dick claimed, shooting a mischievous smile at Apollo and Midnighter. "Why don't you two go grab some things while Tiger gets dinner ready?"
"I only agree to this if he's making chicken masala." Midnighter grumbled while Apollo just nodded his acceptance. Moments later Midnighter and Apollo were gone via Apollos door leaving Dick and Tiger alone in their home.
"You were supposed to sleep more." Tiger groused while turning into the kitchen. There was a tension in his shoulders that Dick didn't know where it came from. It wasn't there before he'd gone to bed and he doubted it came from the unexpected visit.
"I got enough sleep, promise." Dick soothed assuming Tiger was just worried about his unhealthy battles with sleep. Tiger glanced at him from where he was pulling chicken from the fridge. Somehow Dick knew them that this wasn't about his lack of sleep.
"It's fine Grayson, we will talk later. Mayhaps after the Dynamic duo has gone home for the evening." Tiger forced his shoulders to relax.
"Okay." Dick watched him for a moment longer knowing they would be having a discussion later. "I'll be upstairs if you need me." There were only so many things Tiger would want to keep between them. That could make him ask to speak to Dick alone and in private without the possible interruption from friends. It was disconcerting to Dick. He chewed at the split in his lip as anxiety creeped under his skin. Taking a breath he pushed the feeling down and reassured himself it was just something private.