Chapter Three: All in Good Time

Tension hung in the air like an ill omen. It smothered Dick like a thick smog on a rainy day. Apollo and Midnighter had left nigh on an hour ago and Tiger had remained in a stoic silence since. It was running Dicks emotions ragged as he cleaned up the mess from dinner. He heaved a sigh as he placed the last fork onto the drying rack. He wasn't sure if he wanted to cut the tension himself or wait for Tiger to break his silence.

Tiger was sitting on the couch facing the windows. The sunset bathed the living room in a reddish orange hue as though paint was slipping from a canvas. After they were alone he'd watched Dick for a moment as if he was an injured animal and Tiger was trying to figure out how to approach him. It was disconcerting when he'd moved and sat on the couch without a word. So now Dick could feel his anxiety building. The longer he watched Tiger the deeper his mind sank into the ever turbulent sea of emotions.

"Did I. . . Do something wrong Tiger?" Dick posed the question no louder than a whisper. His gaze dropped to the tiled floor and focused on the marble pattern there. Somehow guilt had wormed its way into the angry waters crashing against his chest. He wasn't sure what he had to feel guilty for but it joined the tumultuous sea regardless.

"No. . . no Dickie. I just. . . I have a difficult question that I am unsure how to ask you. Come, sit." Dick felt himself jerk at the strangled quality to Tiger's voice as he looked back up at him. The use of that nickname threw him off and gave Dick the chills. Hesitantly Dick moved towards the couch. He didn't sit but instead paused in front of Tiger.

"This is not an easy thing for me to ask. I'd say it's an even more difficult thing for you to answer but it is something I must request of you regardless." Tiger's nose scrunched in displeasure. He reached forward and grabbed Dicks hand in his own, whether it was an act of reassurance or to help hold him here Dick was unsure.

"I trust you Tiger. If this is something you have to ask, I trust you." Dick said more to soothe the storm in his heart than anything else. So Dick sat. not on the couch but on the edge of the coffee table. He clutched at Tiger's hand like the lifeline it was most likely meant to be and waited with baited breath.

"You said some things, while you were sleeping. Dickie. . . How long has Batman. . . How long has he hurt you?" Tiger asked as his hand tightened around Dicks.

Air seemed as though a rare commodity to Dick suddenly. It had evacuated his lungs like a sinking ship took on water. He made a strangled noise as panic overran all the anxiety and guilt he'd been treading in. It surged and pulled him under in large relentless waves. It could have been any number of things he'd spoken of. His brothers, the death of his mother and father, any number of the endless patrols that ended badly, Spyral for god's sake, but this? This was one of the few things he'd yet to work through for himself.

"Breathe Dickie. With me now. In. . . And out. . ." Tiger's voice penetrated the fog like a brightly burning lighthouse. Dick felt as Tiger moved his hand to his chest, could feel the dramatic imitation of breathing Tiger was maintaining in hopes to calm him.

A choked off cry escaped his throat like a dying flare in the dark. Through the panic he could feel his lungs burning for air as black started to crowd his vision. His hand was clutching at Tiger's shirt in a feeble attempt to ground himself. He just needed to breathe. Slowly a gasp of air filled his lungs, scattering the darkness edging his vision. His head hung between his knees as his gasping turned into trembling breaths.

"There now, just keep breathing with me Dickie." Tiger's voice whispered in his ear and Dick keened at the sound. Tiger was safety and the hand carding through his hair was proof of it. The ever looming presence of what Batman had done lingered but Tiger was here and he was not. Eventually Dick could breathe, His mind was still foggy and clouded over with panic but he could breathe.

"You don't have to say anything. I've got you." Dick felt as he marginally relaxed into Tiger. He could do this. He could explain that it was a training thing that Batman had needed him to succeed. That while it had torn their relationship to pieces Dick could kind of understand why he'd done it. Dick may not have liked it and it may have shattered his love for the man but he did understand. To an extent at least.

"He. . . It's not like that." Dick whispered out as the scars on his back screamed at him pitifully that it was a lie. There were so many ways to have gone about entering Spyral yet, at the time, Batman had come at Dick like a madman. Then, as if a switch had been flipped, his panic was doused by the raging inferno of his fury and indignation that his father could have done such a thing. That all those years of extra sparring sessions possibly weren't just to make him better at what he does.

"You can't say that Dickie. You know what abuse looks like. You've seen it in others and I know you'd argue with them about what is and is not okay. Can you tell me it was all warranted? That Batman was looking out for your wellbeing?" Dick couldn't, not with any honesty. He doubted Bruce existed in any capacity for him anymore. It was only ever Batman he dealt with. Bruce hadn't been in his life for a very very long time. It hurt to think he was only worthy of Batman's attention as Nightwing and not Bruce's as Richard Grayson.

Dick allowed himself to be pulled from the floor to the couch. His breath had settled enough yet he refused to meet Tiger's eyes. His mind was still going a mile a minute as he tried to convince himself it was okay to talk to Tiger. So he licked his lips and clenched his hand together as rage swathed his other emotions in a cocoon.

"He. . . He said I had to win this time. I had no choice but to win." Dick whispered as the memory of glass biting into his back burned. The memory of the pill being shoved down his throat came next as did Bruce's next words. "He said I let him watch me die. That I had to do this to protect everyone. That if I remained dead I could protect everyone. He sent me on a suicide mission as everyone thought I was already dead. I'm alive though. I'm alive Tiger."

Dick could feel as his emotions overwhelmed him. Like a capsizing ship in a sea too large the waves shoved him down into the depths as tears flooded his eyes. He took a shuddering breath and dropped his head into his hands.

"What do you mean he watched you die Dick?" Dick glanced through his arms at Tiger. He could feel a phantom pill bobbing in his throat as a reminder of when his heart stuttered to a stop under Lex Luthor's hands.

"The Crime Syndicate had captured me. They strapped me to a bomb, fixed it to my heart. The only way to stop it was if my heart stopped. It was an obvious choice but. . ." Dick paused and tried to swallow around the phantom pill in his throat. "Lex Luthor stopped my heart. One small little pill was all it took." Dick stopped as he tried to quell the nausea beginning to writhe in the pit of his stomach.

Tiger didn't say anything as some missing piece clicked into place. Instead he reached up and laced his fingers into Dicks hair. He pulled him close till their foreheads touched and he held them there. No words were needed as he carded his fingers through Dicks hair. Tiger was there for him. No matter what happened, at the end of the day Tiger would be there to catch him.

"I am not saying this changes anything Dickie, but if I ever see that man he will not be walking away." Tiger admitted after a moment. He pulled back and watched Dick for a reaction. All he received for his threats against Batman was a look of grief.

They sat there in silence as the fading light from the sunset bathed the living room in darkness. Neither breaking the almost comfortable silence they'd ended up in. It wasn't until midnight rolled around that Tiger pulled them both off the couch. He guided Dick into his room rather than Dick's own.

"I can sleep on my own Tiger." Dick protested weakly. While they had shared beds while on mission they'd never done so when there was more than one available. It had been some sort of unspoken rule in Dicks mind that they only shared beds out of necessity.

Tiger only spared him a glance before pulling Dick across the threshold of his room. He gently pushed Dick into the adjoining bathroom with a set of shorts and a shirt. The prompting was clear, Dick wouldn't be sleeping alone tonight if Tiger had anything to say about it.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dick had been expecting the night to be filled with nightmares, of a black figure and pain or of a pill clogging his throat as he tried to breathe. Of harsh words and thrown fists or a world of sand clawing at his skin. Yet every time a nightmare had even begun to take hold Tiger was there. A soothing presence pressed against his back with soft words and a gentle touch.

So when he slowly woke to the sun filtering into the bed room Dick didn't move. He was more content than he'd been in a long time. For once it wasn't that he had to get up, that he had to force himself to be okay and put up pretenses he didn't have energy for. So he laid there soaking in the warmth of the body pressed against his own. Of the strong arm holding him at the waist as soft breaths brushed against his ear.

With half lidded eyes Dick choreographed his day. There were still a few things left to do but none so demanding it couldn't wait a few hours. Apollo had agreed over dinner to open a door for his family, so that was one detail marked off his list. They'd finished setting up the rooms with fresh blankets, pillows and bathroom supplies. It wasn't perfect but Dick doubted Alfred nor Damian would complain.

A hitch of breath and tightening arm around Dicks waist were the only signals that Tiger had awoken. He felt as Tiger buried his nose in his hair and just inhaled before letting out a content sigh. Dick grinned as he rolled in Tiger's arms.

"Quit movin." Tiger grumbled as he pulled Dick in close, tucking him under his chin.

"We need to get up Tiger." Dick said as he placed small butterfly kisses along Tiger's neck. The resulting growl had Dick smirking.

"If you don't stop we won't be leaving this bed." Tiger rasped out, his voice husky with sleep. Normally Dick would be inclined to continue, however they still had a few things to arrange before tomorrow. Instead Dick let out a sigh and burrowed into the covers to get comfortable. He didn't really have the motivation to get up, so if Tiger was feeling lazy today Dick would oblige.

"You doin okay Dickie?" Tiger asked after a moment of failing to slip back into sleep. It was an honest question tinged with concern. Yesterday's conversation and substantial confession was a lot by anyone's standard.

Dick mulled the thought over. He knew he wasn't okay. He was still a blender of emotions and while he could slip into that mask of 'I'm fine' he didn't want to blatantly lie like that to Tiger. So he rolled his thoughts around taking inventory of everything. How his body, while not as heavy as yesterday, still felt weighed down. His emotions still swirling were nowhere near the tempest from last night. So, no, he wasn't okay but he wasn't breaking either.

"I feel heavy." Dick conceded to Tiger. "It takes so much more effort to even move than it should. Like I'm constantly treading water or trying to wade through sand."

Tiger hummed at the thought. "Does french toast sound good for breakfast?" Dick paused before giving Tiger a jerky nod. Without any more preamble Tiger was out of bed and stretching. "I'll fix us some while you set our Spyral status to 'off grid'."

"How long? Isn't 'off grid' a bit long for a weekend visit?" Dick asked as fell out of bed. Tiger stood at the door frame and smiled at him.

"Who said we were only taking a weekend? Your family may only be here for that long but we are taking a trip. Midnighter brought it to my attention a while back but something is growing in Russia. I'd like you to join me." Tiger stated though Dick could have taken it as the request it blatantly was.

"Government, mafia or something else?" Dick asked as he tried to bring up cases he'd worked in Russia. There were only a handful he could think of but everything had been settled as far as he was aware. There was no larger aftermath for any case he'd personally worked in Russia.

"We're unsure though we have seen Slade Wilson in the area." Dick froze at the name. Memories from before Spyral, before Nightwing, sprung forward. The white haired super soldier had been an achingly familiar presence growing up.

"Slade? Thought he retired." Dick said, keeping a careful smile on his face. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and sat watching Tiger for any reaction.

"So did we. Put some medicine on that bruise and we can talk about it over breakfast." Tiger said as he passed out of the room.

Dick rolled his eyes as he stood from his spot on the bed. Already he felt himself missing the warmth from the covers. He left Tiger's room and made his way into his own bathroom. Grabbing the jar of medicinal cream Dick applied a healthy amount just to appease Tiger. He paused upon exiting the bathroom glancing at his silent computer.

The urge to check for any messages or pings from contacts was hard to ignore. He reasoned with his logic instead that anything worth noting would have sent a notice to his phone. If he needed to he could reach out to his people instead and check on whatever situations may have arisen. Leaving his room Dicks nose was assaulted by the smell of fried bread and maple.

~~~~~~

"You're making a scene. Go home."

"No, I can't do that."

"This line is only secure for 45 seconds. What's the problem?"

"Moscow. 48 hours. Code N83."

"Make it 96 hours and I'll be there."

"Don't be late." The line went dead with familiar static. A crunch later and the phone dropped to the ground sparking and clearly destroyed.