Chapter 51 ~ Time is like a River ~

Amends and healing were not as simple as the words describing such feats. Harmony was unable to exist within the cabin as negative emotions and sickness lingered. For the first month as pain ebbed and waned, the men simply stayed vigilant. Guarding Daniea as she battled her demons day and night. They had begun to retrain her body to accept food, all while comfort had become a war all its own. These feats led to many nights of her organs rejecting such, which in turn brought more pain and worry to the was then followed by illness. The lass had lost too much weight. Having been suffering from malnutrition and deep depression for so long, it had opened her up to sickness. Through fever and chills, endless hours of delirium, those she once cared for once, nursed her back to health.

Those two months in Ireland passed slowly during this time, and then all of a sudden time seemed to pitch forward. Most of it, a mix of companionable silence, solace and humility. Jamie and Murtagh not only aided Daniea in her journey to recovery, but had begun to mend their own relationship as well. The clock however began to tick faster with each passing day. Jamie was now Laird and his new life and duties could not be pushed aside forever, especially when death's knell seemed to no longer beckon their Irish rose. So one night, as uneventful as their days had grown to be. Daniea having chosen to not rehash the past after her fevers broke; the young woman made her way to the small ring in which Jamie worked his horses.

After everything that had transpired, the couple were still barbed against one another, some pains having not healed - not yet. But the air had been cleared for friendship to possibly blossom.

"Evening." Daniea's voice called as she leaned against the fencing. Her weight had begun to return due to the mens diligence and force feeding. Her pallor, healthier than before. Yet that same haunted look Murtagh feared would never leave, cast itself over her eyes. Jamie turned towards her, his blue ribbon smile on full display. He had grown much, his demeanor shifting as he discovered he no longer had to be the hunted man - the simplicity of this life, of just existing, mended old wounds within himself as well. Love persevered and time bound pain. And Murtagh made sure the rekindling of old flames were doused, knowing this was not the time nor the place.

"Mistress….how ye fairing this evening?" James inquired, his broad form coming to rest near her, a mirror image of their time at Leoch.

"Well, thankyou James…" She sighed happily, the brisk winds swept over the water pushing her bound locks back. "I took Murtagh on a walk around the island and…I have come to ask if you would join me now. Would….you go on a ride with me?"

Jamie stilled, his body growing tense as a long buried memory surfaced. A more spirited Daniea coming to the barn at Leoch, asking him to join her. The knowledge that day would lead to the path they are on now. Change, break the cycle- he told himself. "Aye…that sounds like a wee bit of fun." His words clearly affected the lass in a goodway. Her smile while demure was apparent, Daniea nodding in gratitude as she moved to saddle her mount. In a flurry, Jamie moved to follow suit, the two eventually moving off towards the beach at a leisurely pace. Not a word was spoken until they reached the surf, Daniea allowing the red mare she rode to enjoy the water bristling against her legs.

"James I…" Her voice broke, turning into an embarrassed laugh as he looked her way. The indent of her ring upon the chain around his neck drawing her gaze to it. "...I know I told ye I didna want to speak of the past but…it's time. Please let me get this out before you say anything…"

Jamie nodded, his smile warm as his pace matched her own. His heart however beat with a fury within his ribs.

"I wish to thankye fer making me see I was wrong, wanting to end it and I want to thankye fer every kind gesture you've ever seen fit to bestow upon me. Ye saved me more times than I deserve….from Randall…my father….clansmen….the pyre….myself. You even loved me once…" That notion brought a tear to her eye which she smiled away. "Ye are more precious to me than all the wealth in the world which is why….I…I want ye to go home."

Immediately she could see the protest in his eyes but her hand halted him. "James Alexander Malcolm McKenzie Fraser, ye were my first love…my husband fer a day. We are oil and water but you'll forever be in ma heart. It's time fer you to go be who ye were born to be, a great Laird like yer father before ye…like yer uncle. You're a free man, one whose family needs him especially with all those bairns running round."

Jamie couldn't help but laugh weakly, nodding his head as he thought of Jenny and her family.

"I wish fer us to be friends now…if you're agreeable. I don't want our painful history to define us. I made many mistakes, all of which I wish I could take back. I thought for so long ye were my person but perhaps the time was wrong… now though, I agree with you wishing to break our bond." It was then she reached across, her handfast mark which had been cut through, a mangled 'X' against her scared wrist; her hand grasping his gently.

"It's been a year and a day, today Jamie." She gulped, knowing the old rules and the old ways. "We wed yesterday a year ago….and today…the handfast is broken. It's time we move on with our lives and from what I saw in Lallybroch yours is going to be sweeter than cream."

James' eyes had grown glassy, his hand gripping her's tighter. "Murtagh is going back to Leoch tomorrow, ye should travel with him."

The Highlander was lost for words, his body instead shifted towards the woman so he could carefully pull her nearer. The redheads calloused palm gripping the back of her head so he could rest against her. "I….will do this fer you on one condition. Live. If I must then you must. I canna exist in a world where your spirit isna….I too wish life had been different. I wish you'd come home with me but I also know the pain. Promise me you wont forget me. Please Daniea….please." James gritted out as his lips brushed against her forehead.

The brunette was in tears, gripping him to her with a ferocity she'd long since thought she had lost. Every fiber of her being belonged to that man but she knew this was what they both needed. "How could I? Yer a part of me ye stubborn ass." She laughed, casting her emerald gaze up at him one last time.

The next morning Jamie, Murtagh and Rory the Hound began their venture back home to Scotland. Daniea would write to her chosen father, continuing her progress, but she would keep her word. She loved Jamie enough to let him move on, no matter how broken the notion left her.

~ ONE YEAR LATER ~

Screaming and jeering could be heard all around Lallybroch as the castle bustled with people. Jenny moved around with her usual air of authority, commanding the staff about in a stern but caring fashion. That was until she came across her husband, Ian - making merry with Colin, Dougal and Murtagh. "What de ye three think yer doing!? Go find Jamie! The Laird is late fer his own weddin!"