Grammy's out

TW - infant death

"Debbie! Carl!" I yelled out "Ethel said an old women said she was our Grandmother" I looked into the bathroom and found Debbie and an old women watching Carl make a hole in the wall. The old women was fat, with grey stringy hair that went down to her shoulders, her neck had a lot of skin on it and a tattoo of barb wire, there were more tattoos on her hands which were big and looked like a mans hands, her mouth was tight and surrounded by wrinkles. She smiled slightly, "That would be me. You must be Lucy." I just looked at her. "Good boy, out of the way" she said to Carl and reached into the hole he had made. She pulled out a bag. "What's that?" Carl asked as she pulled out a container with something in it "what's it look like?" She asked him. "A finger? Look a finger" Carl said while waving the container at me. Carls eyes lit up when he saw the gun Grammy had just pulled out of the bag. "You can touch but never put your finger on the trigger unless you're gonna shoot someone" she told him. Carl grabbed it off her. "You like secrets?" Grammy asked as she held up a roll of cash, I glanced at Debbie who was smirking. "So do i. Hold out your hands" Grammy said. Debbie and I stepped forward. She gave us each $60. "Our little secret alright?" She told us.

"Your Grandma? Franks mom?" Cue said as he handed me back the bottle of pop. "Yeah, she's really old and you can tell she's a huge bitch. Gave us money though. Maybe she will be a good grandma?" I said. Cue nodded but I noticed he was looking at something else, or someone else. Potato was knocking on Tony's door. "Douchebag" Cue mumbled. I laughed. Lip walked down the street and shook his hand, they looked like they were still friends. I glared at them both. The door opened behind us and Fiona came out for a smoke, she patted me on the head and watch Lip and Potato talk. "Tony got a live in?" Potato asked Lip. "Yeah second one this summer. What you want with Tony?" Lip asked. "Just family stuff, business. You know" Potato said clearly lying. I scoffed. Cue patted me on the knee and headed off. "No, I don't know. What kind of business?" Fiona yelled out. "Morning" Potato mumbled. "Lip, where you been all night? Grammy showed up" Fi asked. "What, Joliet Grammy? She tunnel out?" Lip said looking surprised. "Medical furlough" Fiona said. "Wow" Lip mumbled and flicked his cigarette onto the ground. He slapped Potato on the shoulder then jogged up the stairs. "Wanker. In" he told me. I sighed and didn't move so he picked me up and carted me in.

Debbie had demanded I look after the daycare kids for a bit. I sat at the piano and played some Disney songs. The kids all tried to sing along and dance, it was a mess. Debbie glared at me then went back to helping Grammy on the laptop while Carl watched. I played the songs that I knew would get the kids worked up. Lip came downstairs and put a hand on my shoulder, "can we still get on the roof?" he asked. I nodded. "You got dinner tonight sorted too yeah?" I nodded again. He left. I tried to get a look at the laptop screen as I played but Debbie's head was in the way, whatever it was Grammy seemed interested which probably wasn't a good thing.

"Lucy, empanadas this time?" Maria asked me. "Yes please" I replied and put my bag on the hallway table. "Good, you have the guitar. The uncles are keen to teach you a new song" she said and guided me to the backyard. "Hello! Music time!" I yelled out as I ran over to the group of men. Susie came running from the other side of the yard and smooshed me into a big hug. "Don't forget dancing" she said.

"Dinner!" I yelled out to everyone as I walked inside. "What did you get today Luce?" Lip asked me as he roughed up my hair "empanadas, and there's heaps." "You nick these?" Grammy asked "friends, I help them cook and they give me some of the food" I told her and put the bags of food on the table. "Saves Fiona from having to cook" Lip said as he put a stack of plates on the table. "Dinner!" He yelled. Carl and Debbie ran down the stairs, Debbie had Liam in her arms. Lip helped her put him in the highchair while I put the empanadas on plates for everyone, "do you want one?" I asked Grammy. "Yes, dear" she said.

—

The stink on the bus was awful, Lee and I stood near the door in hopes of getting fresh air each time it opened. Greg was driving and he didn't give a shit about anything but doing the bare minimum his job required. It usually meant an entertaining ride as he let people rant, smoke, finger bang and drink and would often close the doors and drive off if someone was a couple of steps away from the bus. We finally pulled up to the stop near the red line and Lee and I hurried off. "I think it's been burnt into me nose, I can still smell it" Lee said as we squeezed past the turnstiles. "I think it's made my clothes and hair stink" I added. "Maybe we should get some soap and go wash off in the lake first?" Lee suggested. I nodded, it was hot enough that a dip in the lake was a good idea anyway.

Lee nicked the soap from a shop on the way. We dumped our stuff on the shore and went in. There were people everywhere, parents hovered over their kids, guys strutted in front of groups of chicks who wore tiny swimsuits. We went in in our clothes, dipped under the water then poured the soap into our hair and washed it off. I noticed a couple of people near by glaring at us but it wasn't until we left the water that someone yelled out "you can't do that!" Lee and I smirked at each other then hurried to grab our stuff and ran off laughing. Lee threw the bottle of soap towards the women who yelled.

By the time we found a nice spot in the shade to busk we were almost dry. Once I started playing people slowed down to listen and the can in my case started to fill up. I had stopped focusing on the crowd and was just enjoying the music I was making when Lee tapped me on my shoulder, I quickly scanned the crowd and realised what the issue was straight away. Two cops were making their way over to us, a women with a child hurried next to them.

I ran inside "is that chicken?" I asked as I spotted a bucket on the bench. Fiona was doing some washing and talking to V. "How much you make?" V asked me. I put the guitar case on the table and grabbed the can from it and gave it to V. "Wow, lots of notes" "yeah, only did an hour too. Some bitch made a fuss about it." "Why can't people mind their own business?" Fi sighed. I grabbed a piece of chicken, "how was your lunch?" I asked Fi. Fi scoffed. "Steve's married" she said, "married?" V questioned as she counted the money. "Yeah, to some teenager from Brazil" "she cute?" "Very" Debbie came down the stairs "chicken in the bucket" Fi told her. "Over a hundred, in just an hour? Jesus girl" V told me. "Who's cute?" Debbie asked. "Steve's back, married to some South American teenager" V explained. "Really?" Debbie said. "So what did Adam do?" V asked Fi. "Took off, left me there" "can't blame him." Ian and Carl come downstairs and grabbed some chicken. "How's Ethel?" Fiona asked V. "She's in shock, I think. Poor thing. Husband murdered in prison" "who got murdered?" Ian asked "Ethel's husband, Clyde" Debbie said "cool" Carl said. I pushed through them to grab another piece of chicken. "Kev thinks the state might send her back to that cult now that her sclerotic husband is dead" V said. "That sucks" I said to V. "Grammy still here?" Ian asked. "Left with Frank" Debbie said. "Somewhere in Chicago a priest is being mugged" V joked "nah Grammy would get Frank to do way more then just mug him" I said. V pointed at me and smiled "mm hmm" she agreed. Lip came inside "Lip, there's chicken" Fi told him. Lip flipped off Ian and grabbed a piece. "Still?" I said. Both of them walked out of the room. "What's that about?" V asked "Karen, I think" Fi said. V looked at me. "What's it about Lucy?" She asked me. "Army school I think, they had a fight" I said. "Army school?" Fi asked "I don't know, Ian just said he can get in by himself without Lips help." "Will this summer ever end?" Debbie moaned and left. Fi sighed and put a hand up to her forehead. "Why would you want summer to end?" I yelled out but Debbie didn't answer. "she's so weird" I told V. Fi glared at me and shook her head. "What?" I mumbled and took another bite of chicken.

—

Fi threw some clothes at me then attacked my face with a washcloth. "How are you this dirty?" she mumbled as she scrubbed at a spot on my forehead. Lee and Cue were going to live together, they had decided to try and find somewhere other than Lees place until the weather got cold so we had spent the morning looking through abandoned houses. There was a unit that had potential, wasn't moldy at least, and a house only a couple of blocks from the school though that needed to be cleaned. I shrugged at Fi and finished my pop tart. She ran her fingers through my hair with some of that curl oil stuff. "Why?" I sighed as I looked at Fi, she had done her hair and makeup but still had to put a dress on. "Because it's a wedding" she said. "Get that dress on then help me zip up mine" she told me. I moaned but peeled myself off the couch.

Kev and I headed straight to the food. Sheila had made sure there was plenty of food and booze so everyone was having a great time. There weren't any other kids to play with so I kept an eye on Liam. Potato soon appeared with a women on his arm, he spoke to Debbie for a bit. I glared at him from a distance and flipped him off when he glanced at me. Carl pushed Grammy in and Lip soon appeared as well, Fiona rushed over to talk to him but he seemed to brush her off. I overheard some people talk about Mrs Johnston going into a nursing home and her retarded granddaughter been taken by dcfs. I realised they were talking about my friend Cindy and interrupted them. "Cindy? With Down syndrome?" I asked. They both stared at me for a second then nodded. "What happened?" I asked. One of them glanced at Frank so I asked again. "I don't really know, Mrs Johnston hasn't been well for a while" one mumbled. Liam stuck his head under my dress and tickled the back of my knee. I grabbed his hand and pushed him back. "Lucy!" Debbie told me off and grabbed Liam. The people talking about Cindy had walked off.

Shelia tapped a glass and asked everyone to be quiet. "I'm sorry that I didn't make it all the way down the stairs today but baby steps" everyone cheered her, I went and sat on V's lap. "Oh, my Karen, my baby, all grown up. I so wish your father could have been here today. I wish he could have seen you, our sweet girl, all grown up. And I know he would be so proud of his grand baby no matter who the father was, except Frank" Shelia chuckled, Kev and V did too. "he hated frank. But it couldn't be Frank because there wasn't any penetration. Eddie didn't like being penetrated." "What?" I asked V, she and Kev were looking funny at each other. "Don't worry" she said. "He had a funny bump on the side of his penis that we thought was cancer but it turns out I was just being to rough on him so…" V started to laugh, everyone else looked uncomfortable "there's been some obstacles and some pitfalls but she's made some wonderful friends along the way like Lip and all the Gallaghers" Lip raised his cup, Karen glared at him. "People I just used to only know as the ones in that house where the cops always came …" "Jesus, is that bitch ever going to shut up?" Grammy said, loudly so everyone could hear. "And Franks mother. We're just so honoured that you're here, even though you weren't even invited. And not really honoured because you're a convicted felon, but you're out now aren't you? Why did they let you out? Because you're a loud, mean, vicious bitch" v and Kev scoffed, I giggled. "Hey mom let's open presents?" Karen said. "Why don't you do yourself and everyone else a favour and shut up?" Grammy said "have I offended you? In my home, where you're an interloper?" "no one wants to hear it, you fucking windbag" "okay, mom, lets go back upstairs" Karen said and went over to Sheila. "She called me a wacker drive whore. And I don't know how an angel like that man could have come out of your poisoned womb" Sheila said. "Shut up, you batty bitch" Grammy got to her feet, "you know what? You've got a demon mind and a devils womb and heart and your coochie smells of brimstone and sulfur!" "I will fuck you up!" Grammy yelled and pulled a gun out. "No" Tony yelled and ran towards her. V grabbed me and held me tight, the gun went off but only shot the ceiling. Tony grabbed the gun of Grammy. Carl ran over to me and grabbed my arm, "awesome" he whispered.

I needed to know more about Cindy, I swung past Hanna's place first. Her uncle answered, "hello golden one" he said with a smirk. I screwed up my face and glared at him. "Lucy?" Hanna yelled out and came running over. "You remember Cindy the retard? She lives over there?" I said and vaguely pointed to my left. "Yeah, you made me walk her to school" Hanna said. I smiled and nodded. I grabbed her arm and tried to pull her out of the apartment "shoes" she mumbled so I let her go and she rushed back inside.

"I haven't seen her around but you saw her a couple of weeks ago yeah?" Hanna said once I had told her what I had heard. "Yeah, she was by herself. She was really smelly but it's summer, lots of people stink" I said. Hanna nodded. I banged on the door, there was no answer. It sounded quite inside. I grabbed the hair pins I had pulled out of Debbie's hair and quickly bent them then set to work unlocking the door. The place was full of junk and had a musky smell about it, just like it always did. We searched through the rooms, I realised Cindy was gone the moment I opened her drawers. Her clothes were gone. I checked her grandmas too and they were empty as well. Most of their other stuff was still there though I couldn't remember how many toys Cindy had and there was only 1 pair of shoes. I locked up and we left. "Gone?" Hanna asked. "Looks like it, I'm going to ask the neighbours" I said. Hanna moaned but tagged along.

Cue, Zuri and Cindi were at the jumps with a skateboard. They were taking in turns using it. Hanna grabbed the smoke of Cue. "What's up?" Cue asked. "Retarded Cindy is gone" I mumbled. "Sucks" he mumbled. I just nodded. We watched Zuri land a few tricks and Cindi face plant after a jump. She kicked the skateboard away. "It's cause moms stupid boyfriend kept me up all night" she grumbled as she walked over to us.

"If he is there we will just grab my stuff and go, he is so gross" Cindi said as we climb the steps to her unit. I could hear yelling and grunting as she unlocked the front door. Her mom and a fat guy were at it on the couch. "Mamma! Stop! I'm home" Cindi yelled. Neither of the adults responded. Cindi and I hurried into her room. "At least Dylan is asleep still" she said and went over to his crib. I did the same, a shiver ran down my spine the moment I saw him. Something was wrong, he didn't look right, Cindi didn't seem to notice though. "Cindi?" I whispered and put my hand on his chest and tried to wake him. He was cold and didn't move at all, he wasn't making any noise, he wasn't doing anything. I whipped my hand back. Cindis face dropped, her eyes widen as she stared at me then she grabbed Dylan. He was like a doll in her arms, no noise, no movement, his arms and head were floppy. Cindi screamed and called out to her mom. "Mamma! Mamma!" she screamed over and over again. Her mom and the boyfriend ran into the room, her mom started screaming the moment she saw Dylan. "What did you do?! My baby!" she yelled at Cindi. "I didn't do it, I just got home!" Cindi screamed back as she cradled Dylan in her arms. Her mom tried to grab Dylan but Cindi wailed and wouldn't let go. Her mom slapped her across the face and grabbed Dylan off her. Cindi backed into the wall and fell to the ground. "I didn't do it" she scream. Her mom clutched Dylan to her breast and screamed then fell to the ground. She sat there rocking back and forth, sobbing and screaming. "I didn't do it" Cindi continued to yell. I looked at the boyfriend for help. He shook his whole body then rushed out of the room. I ran after him. "You can't go! You need to help!" I yelled. He grabbed his clothes off the floor and bolted out of the house still naked. I went to the front door, some of the neighbours had their heads out of their doors and were on their phones. Cindi and her mom continued to scream. I walked back into the bedroom, her mom was rocking back and forth with Dylan's body in her arms. Cindi was huddled into a ball against the wall just sobbing now. I put my hand on her arm but she's didn't even seem to realise I was there. "I'm sorry Cindi. I'm sorry" I told her then took off. I ran out of the house. When I got to the street I could hear sirens, I took the alleyways home.

Fiona wasn't in her bed, Lip and Ian weren't either. I opened the door to Franks room, Grammy was snoring on the bed. Frank was watching her from the corner. I stared at him, he stared back then raised a finger to his lips. I slowly closed the door. I took a deep breath, "shhh" I told myself.

—

"She didn't know!" Debbie yelled as she woke me up. "What?" I mumbled "Fiona didn't know Steve is Jimmy" "didn't you say she knew?" "Yeah. That's what she said but I asked about Jimmy and she had no idea who he was" "weird. I gotta piss" I mumbled and headed to the bathroom. I felt so tired, like I had been screaming and crying all night but I hadn't shed a tear.

I sat at the table with Grammy and ate breakfast, the cereal just clumped in my throat. Debbie came over and joined us. "we a bit mopey this morning?" Grammy asked her. "no" Debbie said, "you're thinking that just because Carl got something maybe you should get something" Grammy said, "no" Debbie insisted. "Maybe if you freshen up my coffee and give your Grammy a kiss things will start looking up for you" Debbie stood up and did as she was told. "Hand me that" Grams told me and pointed to a box on the floor. I did as I was told too. She gave the box to Debbie "for me? Oh Grammy, thank you, thank you" Debbie said and hugged her. "Go fuck yourself!" Fiona yelled from the lounge room. I looked at Debbie but she was too busy looking at the box, which contained her new laptop. "What's all this?" Fiona asked "a new laptop! This is so awesome" Debbie said. "Christmas in August?" Fi asked. Grammy was smiling. Kev walked through the door "Ethel and Jonah are gone" Kev panicked. "What?" Fi said. V followed Kev in, she was just as stressed. "Did she say anything to you Debbie?" V asked. "No" "what bout Malik? What time does he show up?" Kev asked "bout an hour" Debbie said "you sure they didn't sleep at his grandparents or something?" Fi asked. "Ethel packed everything, baby stuff too" v said. "She's 14 with an infant, how far can she get? She doesn't have any money" Debbie said. "It was those evil Jesus witches, they took them. I know it" Kev said "we should call the social worker. See if she can get the cops looking" v said. "If she shows up, call us" Kev said and they left. "Perfect. I'm solo today and we've got a full house for day care" Debbie grumbled and went into the lounge room. "Lucy will help" Fiona said, "no she won't" Debbie yelled back. "I'll help you honey" Grammy said.

"Can we talk about these gifts?" Fi asked, she glanced at me but didn't ask me to leave. "You think I'm trying to buy their affection?" Grammy said. "Well, it's certainly for sale" Fi said. "I just had some money from an old business arrangement and I thought I'd spread it around a bit" Grammy said, "what did you get Lucy?" Fi asked. "It's coming" Grammy said. Fi looked at me, I could tell she had realised something was wrong. "You didn't come to see me when I was in prison" Grammy said "I was 10 when you went in, I hardly knew you" Fi said. "Well, that's my fault, I guess" Grammy said then pulled out an envelope "500 bucks" she said, "Figure from what I've seen around here, you need it more than some digital shit that's going to be obsolete before you can get it out of the box." Fi shook her head and handed the money back "it's not a bribe, Fiona. I've got some serious Grammy time to make up for around here" Fi nodded and took the envelope back.

"Now, you. What's up?" Fi asked me "nothing" I said, she stared at me. I slowly raised my middle finger at her hoping it would make her pissed off and she would just leave me alone. "Don't" she said as she reached over the table and grabbed my finger, "talk" she added. I sighed, then took a deep breath. "Retarded Cindy's grandmother had a stroke, Cindy gone into a group home. Other Cindis baby brother died, bet they take her too. And none of Cues family will take him in, he is staying with Lee." "shit" Fi said as she lent back in her seat. "I saw the dead baby, and I know about Jimmy. I call him Potato now" I quickly added. Fiona stared at me, she looked so sad. "Come here" Grammy said and pulled me off the chair then hugged me. "That's a lot to go through kid."

The alley pavement was even more cracked and uneven then the street, it was a struggle pushing Grammy in the wheelchair. "I just want to go home" I whined. "That's enough Lucy, shit happened, shit is always going to happen, you just got to deal with it and keep on going. You had your hug and now I'm getting you a present, time to get over it" Grammy snapped. I pulled a face at her and pushed with all my body weight to get her over another bump.

The shop was smoky, dirty and dark. A guy looked up from the counter as we went in, the cigarette dropped from his mouth when he noticed Grammy. "You not going to give me a hug, you old bastard" Grammy said as the guy just continued to stare. The guy came to his senses and hobbled over to her, she grabbed his face and gave him a big kiss. "You mind the shop while we go upstairs" Grammy told me. "What?" I asked. The guy helped her out of the wheelchair. "Sit there and don't move" she snapped. "What if someone comes in?" I asked "tell them to wait, we will be back down soon and I'll have your present" she said. I sat behind the counter and picked up the smoke the guy had dropped.

The noises coming from upstairs made me feel gross, how could they even do it anymore they were so old. I found a bottle of whiskey under the counter and took a swing. They eventually came downstairs all sweaty and flushed. The guy had a case in his hand. Grammy sat down in her wheelchair, grabbed the case off the guy and motioned at me to push her.

"Hobs might not be much to look at and that bung leg doesn't help but what he can do with his fingers, and tongue and dick is much more important then looks Lucy" Grammy told me as I struggled to push her along. I kept my eyes on the case, it almost looked like a violin case, a really old one. "You listening? This is an important life lesson. you're a pretty one. No idea how Frank did it but he managed to get two good looking daughters and no doubt that worthless whore Monica hasn't taught either of you anything, so I will. Men will be falling at your feet, unlike a lot of us you get to be picky, choose one that can make you come hard, a good sex life is important Lucy. Keeps everyone happy. No point going for a good looking one if you're left to finish yourself off" she said. I tried not to listen to what she was saying but I always heard everything, even when I didn't want to. "Ok, Grammy" I mumbled. "Good girl" she said and tapped my hand. "Let's go home."

I opened up the case, it squeaked. The inside was velvet, a dark full size violin sat in the middle. The bridge and strings were missing. There were two bows in the lid as well, neither had any hair. It looked beautiful and old. I carefully picked it up, it wasn't that heavy but it felt solid. There were a few scratches and dinings on it but it wasn't cracked, I had played and looked at a few violins at the luthiers and this looked as good and felt as good as the fancy ones there. But I didn't really know that much about what made a good violin, and I couldn't play it to check. Even with a bridge and strings it was going to be too big for me. I only played a size violin. "I know you probably can't play it yet but it's a family heirloom. Brought over by my great grandfather who was a very good fiddle player, been in the family for generations before then too. It's only right you have it, I'll put some money in the case so you can get it fixed up when you grow enough to use it" Grammy said. "It's old" I said. "Very old" "your family played the violin?" I asked. "Our family did. And they would be proud to see you play too" Grammy said. I smiled at her and put the violin back in the case.

I stood on the porch practicing my violin, I could hear yelling inside but didn't stop playing. Frank came outside and sat on the step, after I finished the piece I stopped. "Did you yell at Grammy?" I asked him. "Yeah, didn't work" he mumbled. "it never does" I told him, he chuckled. Fi came out too, her phone rang but she didn't answer it. She sat next to Frank and gave him a beer. "It's tough, ha?" She said to him. Frank had a drink "my parents suck too" she added. He handed the beer back to her and she put her arm around him. I went back to playing the violin.

I was laying in bed, my iPod was flat and charging on the other side of the room so I couldn't even listen to that. It was dark and the house quiet. I heard footsteps and watched as Fiona came into the room and stood in front of me, she held out her hand. I slowly reached out and grabbed it, she pulled me out of bed and led me to her room. Everything was done without a word. She snuggled in behind me and wrapped her arms around me, I put my arms over hers. "Shit" she whispered, "yeah" I replied, "all of its so fucked up" she whispered, I just nodded this time. It didn't sound like she was crying and I wasn't either. Even in her embrace it took me a while to fall asleep.