Pairing: TFP Megatron/Miko Nakadai
Rating: Mature
Details/Themes: Post-Predacons Rising, suicide attempt (trigger warning), holoforms
Requested by TransformersMangaFangirl
There were things she remembered that were the epitome of her life. They were unmatchable to common routine people drowned themselves among now and days. She was alive back then at seventeen. There were things she regretted as well, things that she couldn't take back. Now she knew how the Cybertronians felt once their world was destroyed.
Cybertronians. Bulkhead. Awesome, demolishing Bulkhead. She regretted that. He wasn't here anymore; he never did return. But she never blamed him for staying on Cybertron. That was his home and Earth was hers. Jack, June, Bill, and Raf understood that just as much as she did. Her friends…family she had to leave behind to return to Tokyo which she regretted too. Turns out her call back to Japan were her parents wishing to give her a life with an arranged husband and to make an honest woman of her. Her family in America was blocked from her life because of it. Eventually, the phone no longer rang and the emails didn't come. Maybe it was for the best.
Last she heard, Jack became a motorsport superstar and nicknamed two of his prized rides the Prime Divinity (07) and The Guardian (84). June retired from her job as a nurse and became a caretaker of stray animals whom she trained so she could get them good homes. Since the Cybertronians weren't among them anymore, Special Agent William Fowler was relocated to a base in Qatar and so far, he has been neck deep in paperwork. Raf went on to become a great technician and technological scientist, discovering new ways to conserve energy and make everything less deadly to the planet's ecosystem…whatever that meant.
It seemed everyone had moved on rather well and weren't bound to anything whereas she was stuck here, trapped in a loveless marriage with nobody to understand what she could have been and what she could become still. But the domestic life had taken its toll on her skills and her spirit so perhaps not. She felt alien in her own home, in her own city, in her own country. She didn't belong caged in a place she lost compassion for.
To be honest, dark thoughts swarmed her mind like ravenous wolves and their voices were becoming harder to drown out. Was she the bad guy of all this? Tears made mascara drip down her cheeks as she rocked in her chair. There were very few options Miko had left in life and at this point, only one sounded great. A swift release and there should only be a brief minute of pain, maybe less. There was no fear in the thought either but she could argue she had faced the fears of death when she got trapped in the cave-in with Bulkhead and the Decepticons, killed Hardshell, and managed to survive a beastly dragon. There couldn't be anything she could be afraid of now.
Silently, she walked towards her bedroom and peered languidly at the wall where her husband's handmade katana rested. It was beautiful piece of steel but it was supposedly only for decoration instead of actual combat. It was time to change its purpose. She took the sword and headed into the field of cherry blossoms her husband grew. Their flowers fell from the branches so delicately that she swore she could make out whispers as they landed beside her. She exhaled calmly as she brought her weapon to poke at her stomach. Swift and sure. Nobody would miss her.
But before Miko had the chance to sink the blade in, another type of whisper echoed through her trees. A deep baritone murmur seemed to have rattled the vegetation and the plants all shifted slightly to her right but she did not feel any wind.
The whisper then became a full bodied voice that made a smile creep upon her tired visage. "What happened to you being the only face I'll never forget when that face holds not the fire of the one I remember?"
The katana clattered on the ground. "Megatron? You came back?" Her broken tone made him usher something in Cybertronian in response. Warm air breezed past her neck as the shadow of a large horned helm dwarfed her, his presence was no less welcoming.
"I…I've just been…so lost that I've forgotten…myself," Miko nonchalantly continued. "I miss you guys so much that…nothing feels complete anymore. I can't stay like this, Megatron. I want to go home. Can you…save me?"
She heard the mechanical whirrs of his cogs moving and before she knew it, he stood in front of her with those blood red optics most would faint at. He must have been in holoform mode because he was only seven feet tall so his body may have been hidden within the fields. He was a bit more rustic than she remembered but that didn't deter his appearance from being outright terrifying. His fangs formed a rather calming sneer.
"Miko, the human Wrecker, has finally submitted to the world she knew she was better than. Death will not fix anything but make the other aspect of your problem worse. I can merely observe. I know how you feel though. I left my Decepticons behind to enter a permanent exile away from what I've done and I have considered offlining myself but that would be merciful and I do not deserve that."
The woman made a neutral expression, "I guess we're even then?"
Megatron stared at her for a second before grabbing her arm gently and placing a servo on her shoulder. "You and I are survivors of our own hells we've formed. To escape it is another chance at life but with a new take on the world. This doesn't have to be the end, only the beginning. I'm not going to lie, I've grown rather fond of this planet but since I can't return to Cybertron and you wish to disappear from the world, how about you go with me around Earth. It's a pretty big adventure and I may need someone to accompany me. Are you up to it, Miko?"
The human began to genuinely laugh as the former warlord wiped away her remaining tears with his claws.
That evening, her husband returned to find Miko's favorite old outfit missing from its place and outside his katana embedded in the soil of the cherry blossom fields with his wife's sash tied around it.
AN: This was depressing as shit to write and review. I personally have never experienced suicidal tendencies but some of my friends have and helping them get through it was...scary for a multitude of reasons.
I know somebody's going to criticize the voices part about suicidal thoughts so I will tell you this can happen. Everyone's suicidal episodes are different. One of my friends had no medical record of schizophrenia or any mental illness at all but then she suddenly grew depressed from a personal event I won't mention out loud and she started complaining about the voices. They would only kick in when she became sad, cried, or sometimes angry. She eventually sought therapy and the voices dwindled to merely nothing over time. A sister of another friend developed suicidal thoughts but didn't seem to have voices. Instead, she experienced fabricated pain where her mind would try to simulate the pain she imagined which led to vicious migraines and nerve disruption. So maybe it works differently for some people, I don't really know.