A/N: We arrived at Tanya's past! A few things first though:

1) To strike a good balance between Tanya's backstory and the main story, I won't go through all 13 years right now. Instead, I decided to put a piece of her past at the end of every major arc, around 1-3 chapters each time probably. For the sake of clarity, the flashback chapters will be called "Tanya Hiden", so you can easily recognize them in the index.

2) Naruto has no official years. Fan timelines often place Naruto's birth as year 0 (*cough* Ninja Jesus *cough*), while some stories just make a year up. For the flashbacks, however, I believe it is the easiest to place year 0 at the start of the series when Naruto finishes the academy. Whenever a chapter takes place in the past, it will be marked as "X BPI" (before Part I). Not the most timeline-y thing to do, I know, but more accommodating for the reader since it's immediately clear how far in the past we are.

3 ) In case you only watched the Youjo Senki Anime: Zettour had a mustache in both the manga and the light novel artworks.

Tanya Hiden: A Young Woman's Rebirth

August 25, 13 years BPI

I had been told that my second life would be my last.

I had been told that should I die again, there would be no other chance.

I had been told that when the life of Tanya Degurechaff ended, only oblivion would await me.

I had been lied to.

In all honesty, it shouldn't have surprised me. After all, this was Being X we are talking about. As if that bastard would ever allow me to rest while defying him. And so, when I thought that I was about to close my eyes for the final time, I opened them again shortly after. Reborn again. And I was a girl. Again. Once more in a baby's body, I needed quite some time before I was even able to move my limbs. I rocked back and forth, trying to get a feeling in my weak muscles. When it finally looked like I would manage to sit up, my head felt so heavy that I lost my balance immediately and fell back onto the thankfully soft bed. To make things worse, this quick exercise seemed to have been more than my body could handle, and despite my annoyance, I couldn't stop myself from falling back to sleep again.

I didn't know how much time had passed when I woke up again. Resigning myself to my lying position for now, I tried to look around. I was in a different crib than before. It stood in a simple bedroom that didn't give away much. Bed, nightstand, wardrobes, and not much in terms of decoration. There was a light bulb above me though, a radiator at the wall, and I couldn't see any half-timber. In other words, this world - assuming it was again a new one - had reached at least some standard of modern technology, though the exact extent remained to be seen. Interesting was also the marital bed next to me. This was no orphanage, so at least for now, my new parents seemed to be alive. That was new.

It was dark outside. Had it already been dark the last time I was awake? I wasn't sure. Either way, the window allowed me to take a look at my reflection. Big, icy-blue eyes looked back at me and told me I looked more or less like I had in my second life. I could even see the beginnings of a patch of golden hair on top of my head.

Having observed everything I could from my current position, I closed my eyes and turned inward, trying to feel my mana. And sure enough, there it was, flowing through my body. That meant I was either still in the same world as I had been in my second life, or another one that also had magic - and, knowing Being X, one that likely also had a war going on right now.

As I kept focusing on my mana, something felt off. Not just the amount, it was obvious that I had less now that I was a baby again. No, it somehow felt… different. I tried pushing it around in my body as one did for simple enhancement spells, but while it reacted, it was sluggish. I could feel the mana flowing through my body like normal, but when I tried to manipulate it, it was like trying to run while being submerged up to the hips.

Next, I tried to make a crude illusion appear, a simple spell whose formula one could easily construct even without operation orb. The result? Nothing. The spell couldn't even reach the point where it could fail, the formula didn't compute in the first place. How? Using magic had become like breathing to me, and that formula was 100% correct! Something was off. And until I knew what it was, trying to use magic was not a good idea. I would just be begging Murphy's Law to bring me to an untimely demise. Thankfully, just pushing mana into my limbs already strengthened them enough to disencumber my baby muscles. Rocking once more, I managed to get up again. This time, I pushed mana into my limbs the moment I was upright to strengthen them. I needed to concentrate hard to do something that should've happened intuitively, but in the end, my mana was spread out evenly through my joints. Moving like this was still impossible while it reacted so sluggishly, but at least I had found a stable sitting position.

"Calm down, Iruka, we just returned from the hospital. Also, be quiet in case she is still sleeping."

Voices from outside the room drew near. I opened my eyes and looked at the door which opened shortly after. Two people entered: a woman and a young boy. My presumed mother looked quite exhausted - likely from the birth. The boy - my brother? - had his mother's eyes, wore his hair in a spiky ponytail sported a long, deep scar across his nose. Both had brown hair in varying shades.

The boy immediately sprinted over to the crib the moment he saw I was awake.

"Hi sis!" he shouted in a way that would've probably made a normal baby panic and scream. "I'm Iruka, your big bro! Can you say 'brother'?"

I wasn't sure how to react, so I simply looked back at him. Currently, most of my concentration was spent on sitting upright.

"Oh, Iruka, I'm afraid you'll have to wait at least a year for that," Mother said as she stepped closer. "She can't even lift her head- oh my!"

"Hm? Something wrong?"

"Babies normally learn to sit after six to eight months!"

Ah. Whoops.

"Duh, she's my sister! Of course she's a smart one. Why is she blonde though?"

"Babies often have brighter hair, it'll likely darken once she gets older."

The following days were spent gathering info, which was unfortunately quite difficult. After all, most things directed at me consisted of silly faces and baby talk. And while mother took me with her wherever she went, she practically never left the house while recovering from the birth - grocery shopping was done by Iruka, my brother - so I couldn't even see the town we were in. The only complete sentences I heard were spoken between my brother and mother, and those were just benign topics. All I could discern from that was that Iruka went to some kind of academy and that I had been born into what seemed to be a somewhat wealthy, upper-middle-class family with the name 'Umino'. Not bad, quite good in fact, but I needed to know more about this world. And the fact that I could never stay awake for very long didn't help either.

I hadn't yet met my father, though there was a man in the family photographs that had to be him. He looked like an older version of my brother, just that instead of a scar, he sported a pencil mustache that reminded me of Deputy Director Hans von Zettour in a very uncomfortable way.

I was also willing to bet contrary to my mother's belief, my hair wouldn't get darker. Being X would never allow me to grow up in a happy family. My golden hair would likely get more pronounced as I got older and my new father would accuse my new mother of cheating. Maybe I should invest in hair dye. Something that required bleaching, then he wouldn't get to see my real hair color. Hopefully, this world already had that.

In terms of mana control, I made zero advances. Either something was wrong with me, or something was different about this world's mana, a crucial detail I was missing and that I couldn't do anything without. To ignore my frustration I instead tried to redevelop my mana sense. It was almost embarrassing how long that took me, four entire days for something I used to do subconsciously. Even worse, I couldn't even utilize it properly once I had reached that point. My range was abysmal, only a few feet, and rather than feeling clear mana signatures, all I could make out were vague blobs of mana. It was like I was looking through thick frosted glass, not even able to discern between them if the people in question stood too close. I quietly cursed myself for my apparent inability to get simple basics right. I knew Being X, I knew I would need these skills eventually to survive, so better develop them sooner rather than later. At least until I knew more about the status quo. Knowing Being X, there was likely a war going on. It would explain why my father was nowhere in sight.

My senses, however, were still good enough to feel the mana signatures coming from both my mother and brother. Especially my mother's was quite remarkable, even through my dull senses. Unless everyone in this world had magic, I had been born into a family of mages.

August 30, 13 years BPI

On the sixth day, I was finally able to slowly move while keeping the mana in my muscles and bones. Actual training like sit-ups and push-ups was still out of the question, too much of a risk to damage my frail baby body, but I managed to at least develop my muscles far enough so that I could do more than roll around in my crib. Unlike my mana exercises, that one actually showed progress, even if it wasn't much. I slowly built up more endurance, too, so I could stay awake longer, and my control over my limbs improved as well. Unfortunately, bones and joints couldn't be trained the same way muscles could, so I still needed to wait until they became sturdier.

September 1, 13 years BPI

On day eight, I finally managed to shut off my brain during feeding time. No physical progress, but much better for my mental health.

September 4, 13 years BPI

On day eleven, feeding time was instead replaced by a new humiliation: Mother made Iruka change my diaper. And somehow, that wasn't the worst part of that day.

"Miss Kita said she'll help," Mother explained to him, "but you must know how to take care of Tanya as well. Once I have recovered, I'll have to join the front again."

Front. So my suspicions had been correct. That wretched, self-proclaimed god had dropped me into a war-ridden country once more. On top of that, my mother was a war mage. Father was probably one as well, it would explain his absence. My brother was in all likeliness about to follow their footsteps, that was why they called it an 'academy' rather than a 'school'. And I would definitely be forced to do so as well as soon as my mana was measured and confirmed. I needed to step up my game, and I needed to find out what was wrong with my mana if I didn't want to survive the war and achieve my peaceful life this time.

Curse you, Being X!

September 6, 13 years BPI

On day thirteen, something interesting happened. Iruka hadn't returned from the academy yet, and Mother was in the kitchen cooking lunch.

"Come on, really?" she complained, trying to get a few more drops out of the obviously empty bottle of soy sauce. She looked around whether she had another, but found none. With a sigh, she raised her hands and crossed her fingers.

'Kagebushin no Jutsu!' [Shadow Clone Jutsu]

I flinched and probably would've jumped back if I weren't strapped to her torso. Even through my blurry mana sense, I could feel a huge chunk of Mother's mana leave her body, maybe around half. Then, in a puff of smoke, a perfect doppelganger of her formed. It even wore an empty set of baby straps. I gawked after it as it left the house presumably to buy more soy sauce while Mother went back to cooking. This was not the sort of illusionary decoy I had often used in my second life. Without any operation orb or other form of computation aid, my mother had just conjured up a physical being. It even had its own mana signature! And she had done so to send it grocery shopping.

"Aw, sorry Tanya, did Mommy's shadow clone scare you?"

No, I demand an explanation!

Not sure what else to do, I tried to imitate the way she had crossed her fingers earlier. But as expected, that alone didn't do the trick. I was still missing something. The only thing it achieved was to make Mother laugh.

"Hehe, trying to be a ninja now, sweety? Sorry, but you need much more chakra before you can use that, it's a Jōnin-level jutsu for a reason."

Wait, too much new info! Chakra? Wasn't that just some esoteric bullcrap? Or was that a different word for mana in this world? Was it something else entirely? If so, was what I felt in my body chakra rather than mana? Was that why it behaved differently? What was a Jōnin? Why did she call the spell a 'jutsu'? Also, ninja? What did the guerrilla experts from the medieval Japan of my first life have to do with magic? My mind got flooded with questions, all of which remained unanswered as I had no way of voicing them. I allowed myself to silently grumble in frustration.

Shortly after, the doppelganger returned, placed the soy sauce on the counter, and disappeared. Literally disappeared. Despite interacting with the world, despite having its own mana signature, it just ceased to exist, leaving nothing but a puff of smoke behind. Some of its mana seemed to return to Mother, though not nearly all she had spent. And not just that, I could also see a wave of exhaustion wash over her face, severe enough that she had to support herself on the table and panted heavily.

"Oh boy, guess I haven't recovered as much as I thought I had. Shouldn't use that again for now."

Once she managed to stand straight again, she smiled down at me.

"Well, the good news is, I can stay with you and Iruka a bit longer."

As if that mattered. As if I wouldn't be drafted as soon as my mana was confirmed.

September 9, 13 years BPI

"Iruka, can you watch your sister for a while?"

"But Mom, I got a test coming up! I need to study!"

"Just for a while. I doubt she'll disturb you, you know how quiet she is."

"Okay, fine."

On day sixteen, I was kneeling in my crib, with my tiny hands grasping the wooden grating and my head squeezing against the gap, desperately trying to take a peek at the books and scrolls my brother had sprawled on the table in front of him. There it was, right in front of me, the thing I so desperately needed: knowledge. Knowledge about this world, potentially even magic if my brother was actually being trained as a mage right now. Alas, the crib wasn't high enough, my angle was too flat to see on the paper.

"He, seeing something interesting?" my brother joked. "Hate to spoil the fun, but this is mostly boring theory."

Boring?! Are you insane?! Can't you recognize the value of knowledge?!

I kept staring at the books.

"What, want me to read it loud, sis? This isn't exactly a good night story."

Yes, that's exactly why I want to hear it!

I looked up at him with big eyes, hoping that it somehow would get my message across. Iruka cocked his head, but in the end, he shrugged.

"Ah, what the hell. Shinnosuke said saying it loud can make it easier to remember. Be glad you can't understand words yet, you'd go right to sleep otherwise."

Think that if you want, just talk already!

And talk, he did. The first topic was about some middle school-level mathematics. That was indeed not very interesting since I knew all of it already, but I kept feigning attention so he wouldn't stop talking until he got to more important books. Though it did seem a bit advanced for a nine-year-old. Was that normal in this world or did my brother skip a grade? He did call himself a genius when he first saw me.

Next was history, and now I was all ears. Even if I would learn only the snippet he needed for his test, I had to learn whatever I could.

The town we were living in was called the Hidden Leaf Village, and the country was called the Land of Fire. That was the final confirmation that I was in a new world. The following parts confused me a bit at first, but in the end, I realized that 'ninja' was this world's word for mages. That explained why Mother had used that phrase. Iruka talked about some important ninja of the past, how someone called Tobirama Senju became the second 'Hokage', whatever that term was referring to. The text seemed to assume the reader already knew. To understand it I probably would've needed to know about the first, but that didn't seem part of the test this time. What was part of it though was something called the First Great Shinobi World War, and he briefly mentioned a second one. Realization dawned on me. Back in the empire, I had been born into the great war that would eventually escalate into that world's World War One. But this world already had seen two. And it was very likely that we were currently in number three. That was REALLY bad.

But we weren't done. There was one more subject Iruka had to learn, and that was 'the basics of chakra'. My ears were figuratively glued to his lips as I learned that chakra was not simply this world's term for mana. While similar in many ways - like being the fuel for spells, or 'jutsu' as they were called here - there were fundamental differences. Within oneself, chakra existed in two parts: the body and the mind, like the ancient concept of Yin and Yang. From these two parts, chakra needed to be molded before it could be used. That was it. That was the piece I had been missing. I closed my eyes and focused. I did my best to ignore what I knew about mana and instead tried to see the separate energies in my body. It was very difficult to just push aside what had become instinct, so I shut off my mind from everything else and slowly formed a clearer image. The physical energy, stored within each cell of my body. The spiritual energy, born from my memories, my experience, from that which made me 'me'. I calmed my breathing, using all my concentration to detect both.

I lost all sense of time, but from the outside, it probably looked like I was sleeping, so I didn't care. Slowly, I pulled the energy spread throughout my body and the one stored in my core together, made them flow around and embrace each other, and finally, combine. That was when it happened. My physical eyes were still closed, but my metaphorical eyes became wide open.

One plus one equals two. Everyone with half a brain cell knows that. It is so benign that we never think about it, that we don't realize how important it is. But without one plus one equals two, no other mathematics could exist. Upon one plus one equals two, everything else is built. Once you understand that one plus one equals two, you can from there start to deduce the interrelations of reality. So imagine the moment when the first person truly grasped the meaning of one plus one equals two. Then you will know how I felt once I had successfully molded my chakra. Suddenly, everything clicked. Suddenly, all pieces fell together. The picture was whole again.

The power that was within me felt familiar again and I had reclaimed my fine control over it. My old spells still didn't work, but the simple body enhancement that didn't require a formula was just as good a test. With the same familiarity as breathing, I let the chakra flow throw my limbs, and the results were immediate. My eyes sprang open; I raised my legs, gathered momentum, and jumped onto my feet. I needed a second to gather my balance with the still-new body and the soft mattress, but that was it. I stood upright. No strain put on my weak muscles, no stress on my fragile joints, and no encumbrance on my soft bones. I looked at my hand and flexed my fingers in various positions. No issues with my fine motor skills. Over the last two weeks, I had regained control over my body. And now, I could say the same about my magic - or chakra, I guess. All that was left was speech. Suck it, Being X!

I flinched as my mind reached reality again. I looked around, relieved to see that I was alone. Well, not technically alone, mother was in the bedroom as well. But she was asleep, her face illuminated by the pale moonlight. Be happy, woman, mothers of newborns usually don't get that much sleep! But while I would rather drop dead than go into googoo gaga mode, I still needed to be a somewhat believable child. Or, to be exact, my family needed to believe it. I would be drafted into the war soon enough; I didn't need things to go south before that. And suddenly standing up, especially in that manner, was unlikely to help me in that regard.

September 13 , 13 years BPI

The following week was spent training and improving. Whenever I was with Mother, I practiced my mana sense - errm, chakra sense. Now that I was able to probably enhance it with my own chakra, it finally worked properly. I could still just feel it within my immediate proximity, but at least they were no longer vague blobs, but proper signatures. Interestingly though, chakra signatures felt slightly different from mana signatures. Mana had felt like a glowing light, while chakra was closer to a flaring flame. I could also finally feel just how vast the difference in chakra was between Mother and Iruka. She was likely powerful, though I would need more data on that topic to make a reliable conclusion.

Whenever I was with Iruka, I learned. He apparently found it adorable how I looked at him when he read out loud, so he decided to always babysit me when he studied, since "Even if she can't understand me, reading it out loud helps me remember it. And you said we should talk a lot to her anyway, right?" Well, no reason to clear up his misconceptions. Not much new history was learned, but I found out that ninja did not use operation orbs. Instead, certain hand signs were performed to "guide the chakra", which likely meant that weaving a hand sign allowed you to auto-compute a piece of the jutsu's formula. I certainly saw the appeal, no regular maintenance, no limit to power output - but also no chakra battery and no stored formulae. Well, maybe there were alternatives.

Since I got plenty of sleep during the day, the nights were spent training. Chakra training became even easier when I formed the "ram" hand sign, and Iruka once said that training your chakra frequently slowly increased your pool. I would do the exercise until I had spent around three-fourths of my chakra pool - which at my current state took me about ten minutes - and then used the rest for physical training. I prioritized reinforcement to prevent damaging anything, so it would take a while before that would yield results.

With all this, I quickly fell into a routine, until the twentieth day brought new chaos. In the early morning hours, shortly after Iruka had left for the academy, the door burst open to reveal a heavily panting man. He wore a thick jacket that reminded me of a bulletproof vest and a pencil mustache that I had seen quite often over the last three weeks. Had that not been enough, Mother's reaction told me everything I needed to know.

"Hi, Honey. I'm home."

She immediately ran to the door and hugged him enthusiastically, though still wary of little me sitting in the baby straps. Being close to him, I could for the first time feel a chakra signature other than the two I knew so far. Father had significantly less chakra than Mother, though judging by his exhaustion, it was likely that he had spent a lot to get here as fast as possible. He certainly smelled the part.

"Ikkaku! You're back!" she shouted once she let go of him. "What happened? Did you get a leave granted?"

He shook his head, a faint smile breaking his stern expression.

"No, much better. You're not going to believe this, Kohari, but… it's over. Lord Third and the Tsuchikage signed an armistice. The war is over."

Tears started to well in Mother's eyes and she hugged him again.

"And hello to you, too, little one!"

"Oh, right. Tanya, say hello to Papa!"

I didn't react as she lifted me out of the straps. Heck, I didn't even listen. I just hung in her arms, my brain trying to process what I had just heard. A part of me didn't want to celebrate too soon. I could still remember how the empire had prematurely declared the war won, how they had stopped me from taking the action that might have ACTUALLY ended the war. But this time, things were different. Father didn't say they had 'won' the war, he said they had signed an armistice. Could it really be? Did Being X miscalculate? Was the war truly over?

"Don't worry, she's just a very quiet child."

September 14, 13 years BPI

Loud. That was the first word that came to my mind. For the first time since I came to my senses, I was outside the house. A baby-sized sun hat sat on my head as Mother carried me through the streets of the Hidden Leaf Village. I saw simple houses, rarely more than two or three stories with flat tops, and lots of small shops. But while I tried to take in as much as possible, my main attention was on the huge, round building that lay at the end of the main street and that was seemingly our destination. Above it, three gigantic heads were carved out of the mountain, not unlike Mount Rushmore back on Earth. The faces of the previous Hokage.

From my parent's latest conversation, I could deduce that Hokage was the title given to the village leader. Today, the current one was stepping down, giving the hat to a 'Minato' who had apparently been an MVP during this war.

The plaza in front of the round building was full of people, but it quickly became quiet as an old man in white robes stepped onto the building's roof.

"Citizens of the Hidden Leaf! People of the Land of Fire! Today, many of you likely feel joy. I can understand it. Unfortunately, I can not share it. To heavy weighs the thought of all the countless men, women… and children who lost their lives in this war. But while I am not joyous, I am relieved. Relieved, that I can proclaim: the Third Great Shinobi World War is over!"

The crowd burst into cheers, far louder than anything a three-week-old should hear. Thankfully, not for long.

"As of today, I have led this village as Third Hokage for thirty-three years. Today, it is time for me to pass the torch to the next generation. This day does not belong to me. It belongs to all of you, to those we have lost, and to the one who will lead the village into a future of peace. Therefore, I won't lay claim on much more of your time. There is just one more thing I wish to say: When there is something to protect, a shinobi's true strength emerges. For where the leaves dance a fire burns, the village will be illuminated, and a new leaf will sprout. Such is the Will of the Fire. And now, without further ado, I present to you: your Fourth Hokage - Minato Namikaze!"

More cheers, and more decibels, as a young, blonde man in a white mantle with red outlines stepped forth and waved to the crowd. Internally, I shook my head. A future of peace? Right after the third world war in just four decades had ended? Well, if nothing else, he was definitely optimistic.

March 8, 12 years BPI

Six uneventful months followed, and at least for now, peace seemed indeed to last. I trained more, steadily increasing my chakra pool. I also realized just how valuable chakra was during physical training. It didn't just bolster my current strength but also changed the way my muscles developed. The needed cool-down period was significantly shortened, and instead of growing, they became denser. My chakra sense also improved, though my range of just fifteen feet was still pretty bad.

Now that the war was over, both of my parents were at home often, occasionally doing 'missions', which I could only guess was mercenary work. Iruka entered his second year in the academy, and I learned some quite disturbing things: the usual age to become a ninja was just twelve years. A large portion of the village's income literally consisted of training child soldiers and renting them out as mercenaries. During the war, they were often even younger to compensate for lost numbers at the front. I had been an exception when I had volunteered back in the empire. Here, it was normal. Being X had truly outdone himself in finding a fucked up world.

I also learned that both my parents were Jōnin, the highest rank a regular ninja could achieve. Great, so definitely no expectations for my brother and me. But both seemed loving, maybe they would allow me not to follow in their footsteps. After all, both had seen war.

As had I. And I've fought enough in my second life, I've seen countless people die either by my side or by my hand, I didn't need that again. Especially not with armed children thrown into the mix. Without a war, there will hopefully be no drafting. If so, I would look for a peaceful job and lead a quiet, laid-back life. Worst case, I'll have to act like a scared little girl who doesn't want to hurt anybody to convince my parents.

That was not to say I wasn't going to learn some ninjutsu, just to be safe. Being X definitely thought he would put me into another war, who knew what kind of wrench he would throw between my legs to compensate for his error? Better be safe than sorry. Apparently, that idea wasn't even that weird in this world. Business owners sometimes sent their heirs to the ninja academy to toughen them up with no plans to ever register them afterward. Also, many of the great ninja clans had some side business running. Like the Yamanaka clan's flower shop or the Akimichi clan's restaurants. Maybe I could work for them? Since those clans were pretty influential, getting a job there might allow me to forge some connections. And my parents surely knew enough people to help me, assuming they were on board with my plan.

Then, one day during spring, my mother accidentally met the Fourth Hokage himself while on a walk with me. Up close, I noticed how similar his hair color was to mine, which wasn't a good sign. Sure, it was perfectly feasible that this meant nothing and my hair color simply was Being X's doing - in fact, that was likely. The question was: would my father believe it once he noticed?

"Minato! Ah, sorry, Lord Fourth. Sheesh, one day I'll learn it."

The blonde laughed.

"Don't worry, Kohari. I haven't gotten used to it either."

He went on eye level with me. Surprisingly, for someone called the strongest shinobi in the village, his chakra levels weren't as high as I expected. About in the same league as my parents, maybe a bit more. Then again, chakra was merely a resource. Back in the empire, my mana pool hadn't been anything to write home about either. Sure, I had much for a child, but not when compared to adult mages. What made me fearsome were my skills. And the Elenium Type 95. And apparently, this guy had a flee-on-sight order among our enemies during the war.

"And you must be Tanya. During the war, your papa talked so much about how he couldn't wait to meet you that everyone was sure he wouldn't make it back. He was always so stern and quiet, but when the topic switched to you, he was like a different person."

Since I couldn't bow in Mother's arms, I closed my eyes and gave him a nod.

"Oh! What a well-mannered young woman your parents have raised!"

Mother laughed.

"That's actually not on us, Tanya has always been well-behaved. Iruka wasn't nearly as quiet. I guess she's simply a natural-born lady."

"Oh? Then maybe you'll teach Naruto some of it."

"Naruto?"

The Hokage laughed and scratched the back of his head.

"Ah, right. It's, uh, kind of classified, but… Kushina's expecting."

"No way! When?"

"Presumably October."

Me being play buddies with the Hokage's child? Count me in, connections were everything in life after all.

"What about… you know," Mother suddenly asked with a stern tone.

"We are already preparing, don't worry."

That didn't sound good, but I lacked the information to make anything out of it.

October 10, 12 years BPI

The good news: my hair color wouldn't become a point of contention between my parents. The bad news: everything else.

I had miscalculated. The wrench Being X decided to throw between my legs was bigger than I had expected. WAY bigger. It had the size of a mountain and the shape of a nine-tailed fox.