Pairing: TFP Megatron/Bulkhead

Rating: Mature

Details/Themes: Mud wrestling, flirting, morphophilia

Sparks flew from clashing weapons, Decepticon and Autobot alike. In terms of progress, not much was made as the relic still sat undisturbed in its cradle of moss. It had rained a few hours earlier so ground was slippery and some Vehicons, Arcee, and Breakdown had slid down the hill because of that into a newly formed mud pit. Bumblebee joined them to even the odds so the femme didn't have to fight alone.

Bulkhead bashed one Vehicon in the gut sending the poor trooper across the battlefield in pain. Another tried to jump on him from the side but he immediately did a barrel roll into the ground, mud flying and splattering on his chassis. When the Vehicon didn't move, he brushed off some of the mud with a scowl, "Decepticon scum."

Thunder was briefly heard a little less than a mile away so there was no doubt a storm brewing and he really didn't like the lightning all too much regarding his past experiences. He turned to the others to see how they were fairing when suddenly a flash of silver tackled him over and he found himself sliding down the dirt. He tried to slow his fall but his servos only made line marks. Less than three seconds later, his aft splashed down into the grimy soil.

"What the hell was that?" He groaned as he scratched part of his backside. Some of the mud had crept into places he knew were going to be difficult to clean out. Trying to get up was horrible. Every single move he made his pedes shifted like they were going to come out from under him. With no other options, he forced himself to crawl to the mud pits edge to attempt to get out but found the ledge unreachable. In fact, he had landed in a miniature valley of mud it seemed. The ledge was high in all directions so escape had to come from above.

On his servos and pedes, he tried desperately to keep his balance. He was slightly thankful his unusual limb size allowed him to walk on all fours but even in mud he was restricted. A few times both suddenly gave way and he fell back into the mud on his front. As he lay confounded, a shadow loomed over him sprinkled with Energon that he could guess was not his.

"Poor Bulkhead, you like this planet yet you are oblivious to its attributes."

The Wrecker stood at attention as best he could as he growled, "Buckethead. Didn't anyone tell you it's not nice to push people?"

The warlord chuckled, "Never got that memo."

Instantly, Megatron's feral grin turned sinister as he launched himself at Bulkhead before both were sent rolling in the sludge. Since neither of them could really keep a good stance in it, the Decepticon Leader was more than willing to crawl to attack the Autobot. He made Bulkhead cry out when he snapped his sharp denta next to the mouth piece of the smaller mech as a scare tactic. They rammed practically any body part into each other to get the other down and several times both actually sent the other skimming on their front, back, aft, and side through the muck. The thing was both didn't want to give up so they always returned to the fray even if the way back to their opponent was wobbly. Pretty soon, both were caked from pede to helm with disgusting Earth materials.

Then Megatron bit down upon Bulkhead's neck which made the latter see red and flung the tyrant across the pit. Energon stained the tips of his fangs but he held his terrifying smile as he saw his handiwork from a distance and licked his teeth clean. The Autobot narrowed his optics.

"Oh, you don't want to play with me, Wrecker? Well I forgot to mention I love to bite so I understand if that part wasn't enjoyable. But also there's been some chatter from your dear pet over her cellular device that you enjoy the blood sports like 'monster' truck rallies as well as dirty sports. So tell me, is this any different? Don't you want to play with me? Because I certainly want to play with you," Megatron emphasized seductively.

Bulkhead turned his helm to the side in an obvious reaction to being slightly flustered by the notion. He then shook his helm and clawed at the mud like a bull ready to charge. His opponent swayed from side to side in response before slowly circling the Wrecker like a tiger preparing to strike. They both eyed each other, noting every part placement they may use to their advantage and how both had very little of their original color scheme showing. This time Bulkhead was the first to move.

He grabbed the warmonger's chassis and sidestepped a swing of the other's arm while sweeping one leg behind and toppling Megatron's form. Unfortunately, Megatron dragged him down as well which resulted in him overlapping the silver mech. He gave an uncomfortable groan of realization of how it looked but instead of being pushed off automatically, he found his enemy began to feel against his side.

"Stop it!"

"Stop what?" Megatron blinked innocently.

Within that second, Bulkhead was suddenly switched from his position with Megatron now straddling him. A purr emitted from the warlord. This was too much to handle. Turning on his front which made the Decepticon smoothly slip off of him to rest in the mud with an amused sneer, the Wrecker got up to scurry towards the ledge again but still collapsed onto the watery substance like a deer on ice. After ten times, Bulkhead simply lied on his front with a defeated moan. He didn't even budge when his enemy made his way to sit by his side.

Megatron started just tinkering with various kibble as Bulkhead rested his helm on one of his forearms. He could feel the warlord raking his claws over his backside to scope out his chassis in a rather distracting manner. The silver mech even began toying with his wheels making them rotate like a kid with a spinner. Bulkhead mumbled sarcastically to himself as certain parts were touched, "That's my spine. That's my wheel. That's my waist. That's…ME!"

Jumping up from his position, he dashed forwards and turned around to face Megatron who still donned his mischievous smirk. "All this fighting has made me rather…intrigued...to being around you. And once someone gets my attention, they find I love to play games."

The Wrecker gulped nervously but before he could say anything, another voice echoed.

"Bulkhead?" Optimus called from nearby.

"I-I'm down here, Optimus!" He yelled. He then turned to the other mech.

Megatron regained footing in the mud and rumbled, "I do hope we can play again someday though perhaps not in organic filth next time. I'll be seeing you around, Wrecker."

And with that, Megatron transformed and shot off towards the sky. Bulkhead stared in disbelief but contemplated what King Con would do if they met up again considering the questionable actions he experienced moments before. For a few minutes, he just sat among the mud until he heard small footsteps coming towards him.

"Bulkhead, are you alright? I just commed Optimus and alerted him you were in a pit so he's looking for something sturdy to help you get out," Arcee asked as she leapt down into the pit.

"Y-yeah, yeah, I'm just…intrigued."

AN: Crack fic for all of you! I tend to think Megatron likes mechs his size because they're more fun to play with and there's much more to admire. Optimus, eat your spark out!