"We have a guest," Robin said, waving a dark haired man into the lounge.
"Angel!" Buffy exclaimed and wrapped him in a hug that almost cracked his ribs.
"Buffy," he said, burying his face in her hair.
"Vampire with a soul, right?" Beastboy asked.
"That's him," Willow agreed with a wide smile, happy to see Buffy getting some more happiness in her life.
"You have a very… unusual group of friends," Raven said.
"I don't think we're…" Willow's voice trailed off and she shrugged. "Yeah, can't keep a straight face through that one. We are all weird."
"How many members of your group didn't do a debrief with the Justice League?" Robin asked with a frown.
Willow considered the question for a moment before sighing, realizing they really didn't have any secrets on that front anymore. "Angel and Cordelia headed for LA while Xander met up with some legendary assassins to smooth things over."
"Cordelia?" Robin asked, having read her name in Xander's travelog, but not seeing much about her.
"Xander's ex, head cheerleader," Willow said. "Pretty normal compared to us, wants to be a movie star and is working as Angel's receptionist."
Robin nodded, making a mental note to talk to Bruce about the other members of the Scoobs they hadn't met.
"And Xander then set off on a training journey," Starfire said with a bright smile.
"His road trip?" Willow asked before shaking her head. "No, we planned that when we were kids, just me, Xander, and… Jesse."
Oz squeezed her hand.
"Jesse didn't make it?" Cyborg guessed.
"He got turned, which is how we learned that vampires exist," Willow said. "Xander staked him to protect me and probably Cordelia. No, the road trip was something we all swore we were going to do as soon as we were old enough to escape Sunnydale, just the three of us."
"And you did not go?" Starfire asked, sounding scandalized.
"After the whole thing with… us being manipulated, we aren't as close as we once were," Willow explained.
"So he lost both his best friends," Cyborg said with a wince. "I can see why he tears through vampires the way he does."
Willow opened her mouth and then closed it, not knowing what to say, Oz wrapping an arm around her.
"They're still friends, just not as close," Oz said.
"Man, that blows," Beastboy said.
"Doesn't that require they be even closer friends?" Starfire asked innocently.
"I'm going to go," Oz told Willow after a minute, amused as the Titans' attempted to explain English slang to the alien princess causing Willow to blush heavily but distracted her from the guilt she felt over how things were with Xander.
"Okay, I'll see you later," Willow said, giving him a kiss before he left.
*ring*ring*
"Hello, Xander speaking," Xander said, not recognizing the number.
"You busy?" Oz asked.
"Nope, just cruisin," Xander replied, not having touched base with his werewolf friend in a while and happy to hear from him.
There was a flash of light and Oz appeared in the passenger seat with a large pizza and a couple of sodas.
"Oz," Xander greeted him. "The Justice League gave you teleporter privileges?"
"Yep," Oz agreed. "Pizza?"
"Don't mind if I do," Xander said, accepting a slice. "What brings you out here?"
"Haven't been the best friend," Oz replied.
Xander considered that for a few seconds as he ate. "None of us have been," he replied, "but that's mostly because of how crappy things were. I say we blame the Mayor and let it go."
"Fair," Oz agreed and relaxed in his seat, watching the scenery pass by.
"So how have things been going?" Xander asked.
"Good," Oz replied, "Bit a different type of werewolf, became a different type of werewolf. Training to control it is easier now. I'd ask what you've been up to, but I read the travelog."
"It saves time," Xander said. "You guys may want to start something similar so we're all caught up."
"I do," Oz replied. "Check my MySpace page."
"That works," Xander said.
There was another flash of light and Xander blink spots from his eyes, glad there was little traffic.
"So I hear you were talkin' shit," a high pitched voice said accusingly.
Xander turned his head and saw a short bald man with a big head in a fifties style business suit complete with bowler hat, standing on the passenger seat.
Oz's arm reached over from the back seat to grab his soda.
"Frequently," Xander readily admitted. "Mostly about Angel. Do you want to talk shit about Angel with me?" he asked excitedly.
"Yeah-no!" The short guy with the large head frowned. "You're really throwing me off my game here and I even used the traditional opener!"
"I could pretend to talk shit about you, but I'm not sure who you are," Xander admitted.
"I'm.. the stupendous, the amazing, the fantastical, the supercalifragilisticexpialidocioustical Mister Mxyzptlk!" he said grandly, throwing out his hands and causing a rain of marshmallow peeps to fall from the sky disrupting what little traffic there was, as cars swerved and slowed down while turning on their windshield wipers.
"Awesome," Xander complimented him, catching a couple of peeps and downing them. "I read about you in some of the golden age Superman comics. You're the one who makes him use his brain."
Mxyzptlk reached into Xander's ear and pulled out a box of comics almost as big as he was before dropping in his seat and opening it up. "Where in purple penguins did you find these?! They aren't even supposed to be in this universe!"
"Thrift shops," Xander replied, sticking a finger in his right ear and wiggling it. "Couldn't afford new comics so I mostly bought used."
"Thrift shops… on the Hellmouth," Mxyzptlk said with a groan. "I've really gotten behind in my work."
"So… I've been talkin' shit?" Xander prompted him.
"There was an argument a couple of meta levels up from this reality on if you could kill me," Mxyzptlk replied, waving it off.
"Kill you?" Xander asked, confused, "but you're… you and I'm me."
"I think they were thinking about the memetic version of you," Mxyzptlk explained.
"What? Like Chuck Norris?" Xander guessed.
"Exactly like that," the imp said.
"Depends on the author," Xander said. "As is… I could maybe hurt your feelings?"
"Really?" Mxyzptlk asked, turning big watery eyes on the teen. "You'd be mean to me?"
"Ack! No! Not the puppy dog eyes!" Xander exclaimed, shrinking away from him.
Mxyzptlk burst out laughing. "For a human, you're alright," he said with a grin.
"Pizza?" Oz offered.
"Maybe one slice, I'm on a diet," Mxyzptlk said, "but then I've got to go clean up some dimensional debris."
"Cool," Xander said, "pass another one this way."
"Can I get an introduction?" Oz asked as he gave Xander another slice of pizza.
"I thought I already did that," Mxyzptlk said.
"I didn't understand it," Oz replied.
"Mr. Mxyzptlkzptylk is a fifth dimensional being," Xander said. "Pretty much beyond our comprehension, but they're where the legends of supremely powerful wish granting beings are from."
"I thought that was Anya's people," Oz said.
"The stories where people learn to be less stupid," Xander added.
"Ah," Oz said with a nod.
"Either of you want a wish?" Mxyzptlk asked with an evil grin.
"Trap?" Oz guessed.
"Only if it's immoral," the imp admitted. "Most people try to be clever and get greedy."
"Would a wish to be able to refill food containers with a tap of my finger be greedy?" Oz asked.
"Huh, no one has ever wished for that before," Mxyzptlk said before nodding. "Granted."
Oz tapped the pizza box and opened it to reveal a fresh pizza. "Cool."
"You?" he asked Xander with a grin.
"Same," Xander said. "It's a really good wish."
Mxyzptlk snapped his fingers. "Granted," he said and sighed. "You two are entirely too moral to tease."
"Isn't Superman really moral?" Xander asked.
"Yeah, but he thinks too much with his muscles, it's why I call him muscle head," the imp replied cheerfully.
Xander nodded. "With that much power it really does take some effort to give him a problem that isn't a nail."
"Exactly," Mxyzptlk agreed and finished off his slice of pizza. "Well, this has been fun, but I got work to do. Later!" He vanished in a glow of pumpkins and the smell of tambourines.
Oz climbed back into the front seat, setting the box of comics in the back. "You really are a weirdness magnet."
"Or the memetic version of me is and it just carries over," Xander said.
Oz nodded and flicked his finger against the rim of his empty drink and then took a sip. "But that's not always a bad thing."
*ring*ring*
Xander pulled out his phone. "Xander speaking."
Oz listened while Xander talked and after a couple of minutes hung up and slowed down to make a U-turn. "Sunnydale?" he guessed.
"Santa Barbara," Xander replied.
"Need backup?" Oz asked.
"It's a possessed doll or teddy bear… maybe a bunch of them," Xander said.
Oz shuddered. "Teddy Ruxpin…"
"You too?" he asked, surprised as Jesse and Willow had always teased him about his near phobia of the children's toy.
"They disturb my calm," Oz admitted.
"I'm right there with you," Xander agreed. "The only thing worse would be full sized animatronics."
"Showbiz Pizza Place," Oz said solemnly.
Xander winced. "I only saw the commercials for that and Chuck E Cheese. Thankfully there was none of those in Sunnydale."
"I'm going to go get you some backup," Oz decided.
"I won't be there for like twelve hours," Xander told him.
"Yeah, but I gotta meditate for two hours and get some sleep," Oz said with a frown. "You'll probably need some sleep as well."
"I can run on caffeine for three days before I need sleep," Xander assured him. "High School was good training for it."
Oz nodded. "I'll be back in eight hours and take over driving so you can nap in the back. No arguments, I can also do puppy dog eyes."
Xander grinned. "Deal. See you in eight."
Oz touched his ear and vanished in a burst of golden light.
Seeing a hitchhiker on the road ahead, Xander slowed down and pulled over.
"Going my way?" she asked cheerfully.
"Sure," he agreed, "if your way is towards Santa Barbara, California."
"I believe it is," she said, tossing her backpack in the backseat and climbing in.
Xander pulled back onto the road. "How are you liking the drive-in?"
"It's wonderful!" she exclaimed. "The people are friendly, though Dawn had to talk to one guy about me being a friend of yours to calm him down."
"Sunnydale does have an above average number of spellcasters," Xander said.
"I got to play Dungeons and Dragons and pinball and video games!" she exclaimed. "It was wonderful."
"I'm glad you had fun," Xander said, "feel free to hang out there whenever you like."
She scooted next to him, slipping an arm around him. "Thanks for helping me, you didn't have to."
"You're welcome," Xander said, "and you're good company. This trip is a lot more fun with a friend."
"It's been a long time since I've had a friend," she said. "Wanna sing along with the radio?"
"Sure, flip it on and see what you can find," he said.
Earth Angel came over the radio on an oldies station and the pair sang along.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Oz appeared in a flash of light in the passenger seat and noted Xander had a blonde girl curled into his side. "Find a good place to pull over and grab some coffee, I'll drive while you get some sleep."
"I don't know if I can sleep," the blonde girl said, "but I'll give it a try."
"Sounds good," Xander said, spotting a truck stop a couple of miles ahead and changing lanes.
Everyone got out when Xander pulled up to the pumps, Xander handing Oz some money. "Gas and snacks," he said before popping the trunk and getting out a pillow and sleeping bag which he laid in the backseat as he cleaned out errant peeps scattered about in the car.
The two wiggled around until they were both comfortable in the backseat, zipped into the sleeping bag. Xander yawned as she cuddled into his chest with a happy sigh.
Oz returned with coffee and a microwave burrito, setting them on the console before pumping the gas.
Willow appeared in a flash of light. "Where's Xander?" she asked.
"Backseat," Oz replied. "He's catching some Zs before we get there."
"Do we have any details?"
"Possessed dolls, FBI on scene," Oz replied.
Willow nodded and glanced in the backseat staring before turning to Oz with a raised eyebrow.
"It's Xander," he said dryly.
Willow sighed and shook her head. "Yeah, it would be," she said with fond exasperation. "I'm going to run inside and grab a coffee."
"Decaf or small," he reminded her.
"Okay, I'll grab a slushy then," she said.
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
Beta By: Abyssal Angel and Mist of Shadows
TN: I find myself rather impressed that somehow Dogbert made a scene with Mxyzptlk even more surreal in a story that literally contains a scene with the fey.
TN2: I find myself glad I have no experience with Teddy Ruxpin. Furbies are bad enough… …curse my curiosity… looks it up GAH WHAT'S WRONG WITH ITS EYES!?