#6

Okay, my last journal entry wasn't finished because Sokka decided to dramatically barge in my bedroom, slamming my door open. Randomly. He just stared at me and asked me what I was doing. I hid this little journal under my blanket SO quick! I said, "Nothing." Hoping he'd just believe me and leave. But he didn't.

He suspiciously asked me what I was doing. Nervously, I said "Avatar stuff." Really trying to sound as casual as possible. Sokka then just leaned in while squinting and making eye contact with me. I was so scared he had seen this book. But then he just shrugged, said "Okay, bye." and walked away like nothing happened. THANK GOODNESS.

I then tried to ask him to close the door all the way, but before I could even get the sentence out, I could hear him whistling. Whistling down the hallway. I then just sighed and accepted i'd just close it with airbending.

I'm not mad, but I know he did that on purpose, I've seen him do it to the rest of our friends plenty of times. I could just imagine his smirk.

I'm starting to think I have more privacy outside than in. I don't mind, Appa's better than a bed anyway.

Anyways, yet AGAIN, I'm an IDIOT! WHY would I kiss her?! WHY? Oh jeez, I REALLY think she doesn't like me now! Like, I'll crack a joke, an ACTUALLY FUNNY ONE, and she won't even LAUGH! THIS IS WEIRD! And NOT TO MENTION, it HURTS! And I WANT to apologize, BUT I'm SO scared. "Oh Aang, Why would you be scared of KATARA? The most sweetest, caring and understanding girl- person on EARTH?!" (Okay, yes I know that's an exaggeration but still.) Cause, she's REALLY mad! I mean, I'll crack a joke, and it's one thing to not laugh when EVERYONE else is, cause HEY, everyone has different senses of humor. But to ROLL YOUR EYES? She's treating me like ZUKO! No offense Zuko, you're a great friend.

But, she HATED Zuko before that field trip they went on. And now I'm pretty sure she hates me too! Okay, maybe not as much as I'm making it seem- It's just that, Katara's my best friend. Or, well, was? Yeah, I'm extremely confused. When I saw her roll her eyes, it put a sharp sting in my chest.A hitch in my throat. My heart started to race–NOT in a good way– and I could tell I started to zone out. I was, and still am, really worried. Oh man, what if I ruined us? Like, as friends. Should I have ever even kissed her, EVER, in the first place?!

I just WISH that she'd just KNOW that I KNOW I was being STUPID! I should've known, in the MOMENT! I was just thinking about the invasion, instead of actually trying to understand how SHE felt. But I thought I already DID! She kissed me BACK at the invasion! Yet, when I'd try to talk about it, she'd purposely change the WHOLE SUBJECT! Jeeze, this love thing is HARD.

She said she was CONFUSED! I should've KNOWN to NOT kiss her. But I thought that SOMEHOW, my kiss would make her NOT confused anymore! I thought she'd feel the same

bliss whenever I did when we kissed. Like in the Cave of Two lovers. She was smiling then, right? She seemed so happy, her hands over mine. Her lingering look into my eyes.

But I guess not. Of course NOT! How STUPID can I be?! I mean, I certainly enjoy when we kiss. But maybe she doesn't?

Are my lips too dry?! Does my breath smell?! Now I'M confused and feel like crying. But if I do, my eyes will be red at dinner and I don't wanna worry anyone more than they already are. I actually think I hear someone-

Yeah, Zuko just came in and told me dinner's ready. He then asked me if I was okay. Yes I lied. I hate this. The only person I'd tell this to is the same person I CAN'T. Not that I'd tell Katara about any girl problems, I thought she WAS gonna be my girl, but- ZUKO! I can ask ZUKO! For help… Monkey feathers, this is gonna be a LONG night.