"Diana, did you see this?" Clark demanded as he barged into her Watchtower quarters, her door sliding shut behind him.
Diana looked up from the book she was reading with an unimpressed raise of her brow. "Clark, you're only supposed to use your code for emergencies ."
She hadn't seen him this worked up in ages. "I'm pretty sure this counts!" He tossed her his phone which she caught with a curious look. "Someone sent this to all the senior members in the League."
"It's locked," she told him after tapping at the screen. How adorable, his lock screen was a selfie of him and Lois at her work desk. "Passcode?"
He blushed. "0-8-1-7. Lois' birthday."
Diana couldn't stop the grin from spreading across her face. "Really have it bad for her, don't you, Clark?"
He rolled his eyes. "Just look at it, will you?"
Diana relented and opened his phone to find it on a text document. "It's a list?" She asked in confusion.
"Yeah– read it."
Diana's mouth dropped open as she kept reading. "Oh my. This can't be real?"
"I don't think so?" Clark threw up his hands and began pacing. "I don't know! I certainly don't remember having a– y'know – with you or Bruce?" His voice rose in his panic.
"I think you mean me and Bruce," Diana teased.
Clark pointed an accusing finger at her. "Not helping."
"What? Do you not find me– sorry, us – attractive?" She pouted at him, which became hard to keep up as he began to stammer.
"It's not that you're– Diana, I mean– I'm married," he finally blurted, clearly distressed.
"Lighten up, Clark," Diana said as she finally broke and laughed.
"That was not nice."
She shrugged. "Payback for you storming into my room without knocking."
"Alright, that's fair." He frowned. "You don't think that list is accurate, do you? Bruce can't have hooked up with any of the League."
Diana looked back down at the phone in her hand, considering the names before her. "Other than ours– oh, really Clark, even I've heard you mention the thing about Bruce's heartbeat, and you have to admit that does sound intimate– I must say I find the reasons in favor of Dinah and Oliver compelling."
Clark finally snorted in amusement. "You're just saying that because she calls you 'princess.'"
"No, rather because of something mentioned at one of our girl's nights." Her smile turned mischievous. "Too bad Lois hasn't been at one– we'd love to hear what she had to say about you."
Clark glared at her. " Diana ."
" Clark ," she echoed the way he stressed her name. "I truthfully don't know." She shrugged. "Bruce always keeps things close to his chest."
"You're right," he sighed. "I'm just worried that–"
He was interrupted by the phone in Diana's hand beginning to ring.
"'Wally?'" She read the contact name out loud before answering and putting the call on speaker. "Wally, is something the matter?"
"Diana, is that you?" A loud gasp came from the other end. "Oh my god, the list was right! You guys are fucking Batman!"
Clark's expression filled with panic. "Wait, Wally, no! I swear, we've never done anything that the list even implies!"
"I can't believe I was never invited," Wally was moaning. "Or that you all never told us! I expect an explanation at the meeting tonight." He hung up before either of them could try and get another word in.
Clark stared at Diana hopelessly in the silence that followed. She sheepishly held out his phone for him to take back.
"You may want to check that no one is in the hall before you leave," she said. "Imagine what everyone will think if you're caught leaving my room with such a red face."