The sinner demon struck an exaggerated pose. "Do not be afraid, my friends!" He declared to the group of assassins—and one child.
Blitzo deadpanned, tucking away his flintlock when he realized this wasn't really a threat anymore. "Uh-huh, mind telling us who the fuck you are and if you're gonna pay for the damages?" He gestured to the wrecked wall. Repairing that thing would take weeks and cost a fortune, and Blitzo wasn't thrilled about that.
Millie narrowed her eyes at the intruder, her hand still gripping her axe, though she kept it lowered and Eli close to her.
The sinner slid around in circles before landing dramatically in front of them, striking another ridiculous pose. "I am Loopty Goopty! The greatest, most dastardly inventor of anything loopy and loopish!" He continued to strike over-the-top poses, each more ridiculous than the last, which only further irritated the I.M.P. crew. Couldn't this guy just speak normally?
"You could've used the door, you know." Loona commented, getting up and dusting off her knees. "You didn't have to do all... this." She gestured to the rubble, with Moxxie standing in the middle of it, arms crossed and visibly annoyed.
Unsurprisingly, Loopty struck yet another pose, bending slightly at the waist, hand on his temple while the other arm stretched behind him. "I am eccentric!" He exclaimed before straightening up, putting both hands behind his head to show off his chest. "Therefore, I must do eccentric shit!" He looked up, content as he flexed, causing Loona to recoil in pure cringe.
Loona leaned toward Eli's ear. "I wanna kill this guy..." She whispered. Eli nodded in acknowledgment. "But I can't, because he's too annoying and almost sounds like Blitz." She sighed. "Can't you just teleport him away?"
Eli let out a listless laugh. "I wish it were that easy… because if I did, he'd just come back and do this whole thing again." He stared at her with dead fish eyes, a clear indication of how done he was with the day. Loona let out a frustrated growl.
Blitzo scrunched his face as he sniffed the air around him. "Ugh, you reek of the living world. Did you just die?"
"Yes, I did!" Loopty confirmed. "Which is why I came here!" He slid closer to Blitzo, grinning widely.
Loona pulled out her phone. "The front door could've gotten you here just fine, dude..." She muttered, still clearly irritated by his over-the-top antics.
"And saved us from doing more paperwork than necessary." Eli added dryly. Moxxie stood beside Millie, looking confused, while Loona nodded approvingly at Eli's statement.
"Shut up, dear furry and young lad!" Loopty yelled, holding a finger up to Loona's face, making her growl in response.
"Easy there, Loons..." Eli said, though he was still tempted to blast the guy with a new spell he'd learned yesterday. Loona huffed and went back to playing with her phone.
Loopty then pulled out a picture of a fat, sickly old man. "This is the man I want you to kill~" He sang, striking yet another ridiculous pose.
"Not even a shit-length of time and already plotting revenge?" Blitzo asked, taking the picture to inspect it. He grinned, Millie smiled and put her hand on her hip, the other around Eli's shoulder. Now that they saw the man wasn't here to cause trouble. "I can respect a man with that kind of passion. The name's Blitzo and the O's silent." He said, shaking Loopty's hand.
"What O?" Loopty asked, returning the handshake.
"Oh, thank you. Now, what's the T-sis?" Blitzo inquired, bumping the air with his hips.
"The T?" Loopty exclaimed, his face contorting in exaggerated surprise.
"What my boss meant is, why do you want this guy dead?" Moxxie chimed in, clearly curious about why this sinner wanted to kill the old man.
"Yeah, what he said—what did he do to you?" Blitzo added, nudging the picture in Loopty's direction.
"Oh boy." Eli thought, watching Loopty sniffle and stand straighter.
"He was my... my business partner." Loopty said, raising one finger dramatically before pausing and scowling deeply. "You see, I wasn't always an old man..."
Loopty's Flashback...
A muscular man with a handlebar mustache stood next to a shorter, toned man. Both stood atop a building, a storm raging overhead.
"My partner, Lyle, and I ran the Loopty Robotics technological empire," Loopty narrated as the scene zoomed out to show a building with "Lyle-Loopty Robotics" painted above the entrance. The camera continued zooming out, revealing several industrial buildings spewing smoke.
"Wait, wait, wait. You're the guy who ran the company?" Eli interrupted the flashback.
Loopty grinned. "Why, yes! Yes, I am."
"The same guy the entire science community shunned because of your immoral and inhumane experiments?" Eli added, curious to see how Loopty would react.
Loopty nodded proudly. "Yes, those were the fun times I had," he answered, not even trying to deny it. "A fan, are we?"
"No, no, just… you know what, continue," Eli sighed, sitting next to Loona while munching on a chocolate bar.
Loopty's Flashback...
"You see, earlier today, we were testing a new machine." Loopty continued. The scene showed a younger Loopty connecting a large wire. "It was meant to stop or reverse the aging process." Both he and Lyle stood proudly in front of a large machine labeled "DE-AGE-IFIER." "It could've saved all three trillionaires!" Loopty narrated.
The machine's door opened to reveal a white room with a single lightbulb hanging overhead.
"Unfortunately, we neglected to test the machine on the poor... like we usually do." Loopty continued. "We were too sure of our own genius." The two scientists entered the machine, closing the door behind them. "But the machine was accidentally set forward!" The camera zoomed in ominously on the switch that had been flipped to "old" instead of "young."
Inside the machine, the lightbulb turned red. Both scientists looked around in concern. "By the time we managed to get out!" The two began aging rapidly. Their arms and legs became fragile, and they scrambled to open the door but couldn't.
Loopty removed his glove and watched as his muscular arms rapidly shrank and withered. "It was too late... at least for me." He said, his voice sad. The scene showed him turning into an old man as he watched his partner, Lyle, become a fat, decrepit figure. Loopty clutched his chest and collapsed, dead from a heart attack. "Now that evil son of a bitch is going to take over the empire we built together without me to share it with! He'll make all the good damn money in the world, become the fourth trillionaire, and take all the credit!" Paramedics rushed to help, but one of them shook his head sadly as Loopty lay still on the ground. Lyle, however, was still alive and was being treated by the paramedics. The scene then showed Lyle laughing wickedly.
Blitzo tapped his chin thoughtfully as Millie and Moxxie exchanged glances. "Eh, that's not really evil." Blitzo commented.
Loopty's eyes widened. "It's evil to me!" He snapped, turning around dramatically.
Loona was still playing with her phone, with Eli on her lap. She absentmindedly ran her fingers through his hair.
Eli raised an eyebrow. "Since when did you care whether it was evil or not?" He asked dryly. He'd been around Blitzo enough to know that his boss didn't care about consequences.
"Eli has a point, sir." Moxxie added seriously, eyeing Blitzo, who only cared about horse figurines and betting.
"That's the thing. I don't." Blitzo said cheekily, making Moxxie deadpan at him.
"Ahem." Loopty cleared his throat, trying to regain everyone's attention. "Now, get your crimson asses up above and send that thoughtless, no-good son of a bitch to Hell, where he belongs!" He shouted, striking yet another ridiculous pose.
Blitzo stared at him, confused. "Yo—you do know Poopty—"
Loopty glared at Blitzo, his eyes glowing. "Loopty." He emphasized, drawing out his name to clarify.
Blitzo started sweating, waving his hands in a flustered manner. "Of course. Of course... if we kill him and he ends up down here, you do realize you'll be stuck with him... forever."
"Oh, trust me." Loopty grinned maliciously, summoning metal tentacles armed with various weapons, including a sniper rifle, a buzzsaw, a missile launcher, and a gun. "I'm counting on it."
"That's kinda hot..." Moxxie said, causing everyone to stop and stare at him.
Eli looked slightly aghast. "Dad, what the f—"
A/N: I tried my hardest to make it as interesting as possible.
Striker will stay as one of the antagonist. Because even if I decide to put him in I.M.P. I don't what to do with him.
Work... So, so many work...