Authors note A little authors notes before we begin thank you everyone for ready the first one and im sorry i havent updated or responded ive been busy with life and everything! But id love to collab with all of you! Ill try to reach out within days of this coming out sorry it took so long :(

rember this is only a sneak peak at what the story is, i have no clue how this will turn out other then sad alright? Hope you enjoy.

(dicks Point of view)

As I started climbing out of the darkness i swear it felt colder than normal. My eyes slowly fluttered opem with a headache soon following them. The room was bright, way brighter then my apartment. As I sat up my muscles groaned in agony, I took a silent note that i had been hooked up to machines. The buzzing was a welcome change of pace, almost made him feel like someone was with me. There was something warm and heavy on my lap, as i look down i realise that infact somebody was with me. My little brother Tim drake, aka the red robin.

He looked comfy despite the worried and upset look sew onto his face. It was sad to see his little brother this worried especially knowing he was the one that caused it.

It turns out it wasnt just Tim im there, because when dick looked around the hospital room he saw two red heads and another talled male with jet black hair amd a little puff of white sticking out. He thought- no he knew he was in it deep now. How would thet ever forgive him? Trust him again? Classic dick grayson the forever people pleaser. Even after his attempt he was worried about jow everyone else was feeling.

It made his heart clench when he saw the worried upset and sleep deprived faces watching over him. They looked so peacful yet still in the midst of a war in they're minds.

Dick did not want to face them. Infact he'd rather never speak of this again, but he knew that wouldn't happen. Every single part of him prayed to every god that this would blow over. But in the middle of what felt like his 1000th prayer he heard a small groan and the weight on his lap shift on-top of him. Then the immediate dread and worry washed over him like being plundge into the deep cold waters of an unforgiving ranvonus river.

Tim was awake. Nows the time to pass away for real this time... Tim sat up and almost immediately locked eyes with the fallen star- dick grayson him self. Both almost perfectly in sync stuffend up at the eye contact. It was like being placed im a deadly duel, whoever looked away first was about to be bombarded with questions, with limited answers.

Tim broke the sad and worrying silence by one word that made dick regret it all... "why?..." dick didnt know how to answer. Yes he had a thousand answers but would any be good enough to tell his little brother why he was almost left alone in this cruel world. He doubted it. Dicks mouth was dry as his throat started clenching tears threatend to show. One word shouldnt have that much affect but.. it did..

dick looked away, he couldnt stand to watch his brothers eyes that were welling with tears for any longer. They contained so mych hurt for a usually monotoner boy. Dick hated the fact that it always took a horrible situation for any of his family members to show they genuinely cared.

"I-... I dont know..."

dicks voice cracked over the simple sentence. So mych hurt lied in his brothers eyes. How could he explain why?

Tim hated this, seeing his big brother, the sunshine, the unbroken soul finally crack. Tims eyes were stinging as he tried to hold back the tears. "Those cuts were too deep... you werent trying to stay here... were you?"

"no.." Dick didnt want to lie to his brother anymore. Dick was sick of lies and deception. As much as he wanted to lie then he couldnt his brothers eyes pleaded with tears, and pain to know why... but dick just couldnt. He hated disapionting someone, so this felt like a knife with his name carved into it.

How could i of failed my own brothers? My own team? Friends? Family?

the coldeness of the hospital room made these simple sentense eeri. Why couldnt dick change for his own family? Because he already has, for everyone. Nobodys born confident or alone, people make other people that way. Because thats how fucked up everyone is. They cant accept when you are to high, so they kick you and hold you down until the bubbles stop.

"you tried to leave me.."

those words broke dick, he did in fact try to leave Tim. He tried to leave them all for a 'better place'. It was for him but it wouldnt be for them. But he just couldnt bring himself to live. To care. Nobody cared for him so he learnt to not care for himself. It was never supposed to keep going like this... but the darkness felt scary... but so welcoming. As if swimmimg for the first time. You dont want to go underwater im fear then it becomes welcoming and cold. Thats the sad truth nobody can last here. So dick tried to leave here, he didnt want to be here so why is he feeling so shity? Dick didnt know himself.

"...mm.."

A small hum is all dick could muster up. Why couldn't he of stayed on the floor. What gave him away? 'I need to find it and fix it... next time I'll succeed.' Dick almost frowned at his own thoughts infont of Tim. Dick knew he shouldnt but he cant ignore it any longer. From the second he gets out hell correct it.

Tim frowned at the simple response, he didnt like seeing his brother- anyone that way. So why did it hurt even worse this time? Hes seen thousands of people die the pain for them slowly died out but never fully left. But seeing his big brother the only permanate figue in his life try to remove himself.. it hurt.

"are you mad at me?.."

dick asked softly, he knew answer to the question. After all Tim tells the truth, no matter how hard it is to here.

"never at you."

Tim said softly holding dicks hands as tears brimed im dicks eyes.

"im annoyed you tried to kil- to cut life short.. but not at you.."

Dick was speachless with astonishment and confusion, somewhere in there he could feel relief. Why wasnt he mad at me? I tried to leave hom in this horrible world. Before dick could stop himself the words just fell out like the water in the dam starting to leak out. Dick knew this week was about to be shity as hell.

"why?.."

"because as much as i hate what you did... i could never hate you dick..."

simple sentences that could break the stromgest man. Why did he have to hear it from a 15 year old bou thats seen too much. The tears were flowimg down Tims face. Dick felt horrible so ignoring the bandages and pain he felt when he moved he pulled Tim onto the bed and hugged him. He wanted to help dispite needing the most help. He held Tim with tears rolling dowm his own face.

god why did all the times he got hugged have to be so fucking sad?... why!

"im so sorry tim..."

"shut up... please... i dont want your apologies i want you to never try this again. To be healthy!.. please promise me that... please.."

Tim was begging wuth his face in dicks neck. Dick wished he could say he wouldnt but.. he wanted to tell the truth at the same time. So as a compromise he stayed silent rubbing Tims back who would usually pull out of the hug by now. The last thing dick wanted was tye door to open and damian and bruce to walk through... but with dicks shity life and shity luck that exact thing happened.

(hope yall enjoyed ima try to start updating regularly also I might get discord to speak to everyone in comments. Hope your ready for chapter 3 and 4 if you thought these two were bad XD)