Everything was bustling as I woke up, with everyone organising themselves into the different groups we would have to drive to Aaron's community. I rubbed my eyes, reaching for my bag to pull it over my shoulder as I pushed myself to my feet.

Rick was outside the barn, telling everyone where to go and what he expected from them if anything happened on the road. I guess Aaron didn't suddenly have a change of heart, because any time I heard someone talk about the destination it was always 'the community' which meant no directions had been given out.

"Ace, come with me," Rick said and nodded for me to follow. "You can come in the car with us, help keep an eye on Aaron."

"Yeah," I nodded, accepting the orders tiredly.

"Got your gun?" He asked. I reached for the gun in my holster and held it out, but Rick frowned. "That's not the Beretta?"

"No, Isaac has it. Just grabbed the closest thing when Aaron showed up." Please don't ask any more questions, I internally begged. Any simple query like why was his gun closer than the one on your holster? Would bring my statement crashing down.

Luckily for me, Rick just seemed to ignore it.

"Get yours back," he said. "Now's not the time to try and get used to a new gun."

"Yeah, okay."

Great.

I was kind of hoping we didn't have to do this just before leaving. I was hoping that I could have just snuck my gun back when he wasn't looking because asking for it now meant that Isaac would know why I needed it, and he would hate me all over again.

Isaac was going through his bag when I found him, shoving the book inside and reaching for his holster, knelt by the front of the RV. He didn't notice me as I got closer, or pretended not to as he zipped up his bag.

"Isaac," I tried to be as gentle as I could, hoping I didn't completely ruin everything earlier that day. "I need my gun."

His jaw set and his eyes remained down as he clipped his holster around his waist. "Yeah."

I ignored his tone and waited as he pulled my gun out of his holster. We traded them at the same time, barely meeting eyes, and I immediately turned back to the car to follow Rick as Michonne sat Aaron down in the back.

"We'll follow you," Abraham was telling Rick when I returned. "What do we do if he doesn't tell us where to go?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Rick answered, and his eyes landed on me, giving a nod when he saw that everyone was ready to leave. "Stick close, honk if anything happens."

"Will do," he said.

As Abraham made his way to the RV, Rick turned to me. "Ready?"

I hummed.

"Keep your gun out, if anything happens . . ." shoot him.

Michonne wouldn't be the one to do it, she wanted this town to be there. I don't know if Glenn cared this badly about it, but even if what he said about Dawn was true, he probably wouldn't kill Aaron. He's never done it before. It would be down to me. Again.

The car was silent as we drove, and I had my gun in my hand as Rick requested. Part of me questioned the decision with the look I kept getting from Michonne, but I just did as I was told and kept a tight grip on my gun, my arms sitting in the middle of my legs.

Rick held up and flicked through a bunch of licence plates, and Aaron finally broke the silence. "Um, I'm trying to collect all 50 states. Put them all on a wall in my house."

"You have your own house?" Michonne asked.

He hummed, nodding his head to the bag. "See for yourself."

"Be more creepy," I scoffed.

While I agreed the idea of having a house instead of a cell or a tent was probably better than anything we could dream of, the look in his eyes and the quiet tone was strange. Michonne reached to grab the pictures he had shown us earlier, flicking through the different ones. I didn't glance over, didn't want to give myself false hope for a community that could be bad, that we may have to fight.

"Why don't you have any pictures of your people?" Michonne questioned, her eyebrows knitted together.

"Oh, I took a picture of the whole group, but I didn't get the exposure right," he said. "When I tried to develop it later, it just—"

"Did you ask him the questions?" Michonne cut him off.

"No."

I straightened up, my mind racing with questions. The gun had never been tighter in my hand as I considered I might have to shoot him, that he was bad like I first suspected. The situation was becoming far too tense, far too creepy for me to handle.

"How many walkers have you killed?"

Aaron frowned. "I'm sorry?"

"How many?"

His confused look was good, a suitable reaction to the question (I think). Originally we made it to know "I don't know, a lot."

"How many people?"

"Two."

"Why?"

There was a small pause before he answered. "Because they tried to kill me."

Was that a good response? The walker question was just to show whether people were willing to kill the dead to survive, and how good their skills were in that scenario. Not remembering the number meant that you were always in situations where you had to kill them. Isaac probably remembered how many walkers he killed.

But killing people, that question was made to determine how dangerous these people were. The fact that he killed people was frightening enough, and he could have been lying about the number or the reason he killed them in the first place. I don't think he was. Not remembering the number of people you killed would mean that you've done it too many times, that you're either putting yourselves in those situations or just unlucky.

I didn't remember my number off the top of my head . . .

During my train of thought, Rick held up a clear plastic dish attached to what looked like a plastic version of my gun. I gripped my gun, looking at Aaron before taking the parabolic microphone from Rick's hand.

"Fuck this."

"You were listening to us?!" Glenn snapped.

"I already said I was watching you. Yes, I was listening."

"It means his people could have one, too," Rick cut him off. "They could've heard our plan. This isn't safe—"

"Shit!" Glenn yelled.

There was a bang against the car and I gasped. The windscreen turned red as blood from the walkers masked our view of the road, a blanket of red coming over our eyes.

"Glenn!"

"They were right behind us, they would have hit us," Glenn tried to explain why he didn't stop or slow down despite the wool that had been pulled over our eyes. "Now they can get out."

"They get out and we crash, tyre pops and we're stuck in the middle of a fucking herd and die. Brilliant!" I rambled, listing off the reasons we were losing our lives that day. Even then, I still had more examples. "We're going to lose the engine. There's no way the car runs after this."

"Ace!" Rick snapped, his tone saying: I love you, but shut the hell up.

I was cringing as Glenn continued onwards, not able to see a thing. We could crash, we could be anywhere right now. I couldn't even see the lights of the motorhome behind us anymore, the vehicle was lost somewhere in the blood and the bodies.

Eventually, the car swerved to a stop, and the sounds of the walkers were distant as Rick opened his door. "Stay with him!"

With my gun in my hand, I watched as the others left, but Aaron made no move to escape. He was trying to see out of the bloody windows, squinting as he moved his head to get a better angle between the splotches of red.

I had to try and quieten the voice in my head, the one that believed we were doomed, but counting the number of walkers I could hear. Not the most relaxing thing to count, but the sounds were distinct and it was grounding me, and while I had the clarity to keep track of the dangers around me, I would be doing just that.

"12, 13," I whispered.

Those were the closest noises, but there were more in the distance, so many that the unique tones all blended into one sound that made me feel like my chest wasn't expanding enough like I couldn't get enough air.

"I don't see them." I heard Rick faintly say.

Glenn placed his hands on the roof and pushed himself up. "No, they're gone. They got away."

"All right, we'll circle back and find them. Let's go."

As they rushed back to the car, Rick grabbed the map and Michonne entered the back door, sitting down beside Aaron. "They're okay?"

"Yeah," she responded.

"Thank God."

Glenn wiped the blood off the windscreen with his hand, making an opening so we could at least see the road. I was still holding reservations about actually leaving with the car, we must have hit.

"All right, we can take a left a couple of miles up 23," Rick said. "Jefferson Avenue."

"Jefferson Avenue," Glenn repeated in a whisper.

"We gotta get outta here," Aaron said.

"24," I whispered to myself. I dropped the parabolic microphone and glanced over my shoulder out the back window. There were walkers in all directions, either hearing the car and the bangs or the loud talking. We weren't safe here.

"We gotta get out of here," he repeated beside me.

Glenn turned the key in the ignition and the engine wouldn't turn over again. My heart sank as my fears became true, and the engine was clogged, something that we wouldn't be able to fix with more walkers coming.

"Come on. Come on," Glenn yelled.

"They're coming right for us!"

"Yeah, we know!" Rick snapped.

"Fucking hell," I muttered, getting out of the car.

As expected, the engine was jammed with rotting corpse parts; I didn't even spare a glance at the tyres. Wincing, I reached in for an arm and pulled it free of the engine, ignoring the oncoming sounds of the hundreds of walkers behind me.

Even with my help to clear the engine, Glenn was still trying to start the car, which just spluttered as the engine failed to turn over (not that I was surprised with the rotting coat that now covered every single part underneath the bonnet.)

"Get it started, Ace!" Michonne yelled as she walked past, killing the closest walkers.

I looked back, closing my eyes when I saw all the walkers illuminated by the headlights and turned back to the task at hand. When I looked back again, the sky turned red around me and my head snapped to the sky. A white light shot upwards, with a trail of pinkish-red smoke that followed in its trail.

Flare.

That couldn't have been our people, because we had the flare that Aaron brought. No, that was somebody else. Maybe the person that Aaron had been travelling with anyway. I could tell from the look on her face that Michonne was reaching the same conclusions as me.

She ran back to the back car door, asking the others, "Did you see that?"

In an instant, the door swung into her and knocked her down before Aaron took off into the woods. He hurt Michonne and could have injured her with the force of the kick. It was enough of a reason for me. I pulled out my gun and shot in his direction, but with the bodies and the trees, landing a shot would have been a miracle.

"Ace! That's enough!" Michonne snapped condescendingly as she pushed herself to her feet. I clenched my teeth, staring at her as Rick and Glenn got out of the car. Before I could even argue, she took off after Aaron.

"Michonne, leave him!" Rick yelled. "We need to find our people!"

"They saw that flare!" She exclaimed. "They'll think we shot it. This is how we find them!"

This is how we find him. I should clarify I didn't think Michonne cared about Aaron more than the group, but losing Aaron meant that we lost the chance at the community (if that even existed at this point), and Michonne wanted nothing more than to get us into a community, off the road.

The person who shot the flare was one of Aaron's people, and that could have been a cry for help or a signal that things were going the way they needed to herd us into the area they needed. All I had now were theories, but I couldn't just pretend that Aaron was the delight he'd been playing right now when we were in danger.

Rick grabbed my shoulder. "Don't leave my sight, stick close."

"Yeah," I nodded and followed them into the woods.

Aaron was gone as we made our way into the trees.

The shooting mixed with the groans that filled my ears and brain, making me lose track of everything I had once kept track of. Adrenaline release and reduction are both slower in women, the survival guides said, which is why they're more rational at the beginning of fights, but then stay madder or more upset for longer. The adrenaline made everything blur, and I couldn't keep track of the number of walkers around, or where anybody was in the dark.

Red light illuminated the forest around me from the blood on the headlights, the only guide I had to tell me where I needed to shoot. The first few walkers I gunned down without even thinking about it, each shot destroying the brain.

Rick was doing the same thing beside me, shooting the walkers on the left, his side at the time. There was no concern about wasting bullets, the walkers were already following the car lights, the sound I made shooting at Aaron. All we needed now was to survive.

"Where's Glenn?" Rick called.

I looked around, my heart rate rising rapidly. "Glenn! Glenn!"

The walkers were still coming, but I was less able to keep track of them. I should have been able to, I should have known where he was. As a walker got close to grabbing my arm, which I was going to take care of, the sword came straight through its head.

"He can't yell wherever he is, he'll draw too much attention," she explained, looking back at the walkers. "We'll find him, but we can't risk drawing any more walkers in."

"If we're shooting then the herd from the road is already on its way," I snapped, waving my gun to the oncoming walkers. "If Aaron finds the person that shot that flare and it is a trap then they could kill Glenn! I wish people would stop acting like I don't know what the hell I'm doing!"

Just because I wanted Eugene dead, didn't mean that I had lost my mind. Even if the best-case scenario were true (where Aaron had been scared, running, or the person who shot the flare wasn't there to ambush us) we were still in so much danger. Glenn was in danger.

Michonne stared at me, her eyes wide for a second, before she nodded. "Okay."

"We'll find him!" Rick promised. "But we can't stay here!"

I breathed in and out heavily, my heart pounding in my chest as the anger slowly faded from my system, but didn't leave. Maybe I overreacted, but it didn't matter to me at that point. Glenn was in danger somewhere, lost, and I needed to find him. I couldn't lose him tonight after everything—I couldn't go back and tell Maggie that after losing her dad and her sister, we had also lost her husband.

We ran back, looking for Glenn in the woods as the tens of walkers followed us through the trees. I had to be getting low on bullets by now. I hadn't found new bullets since before Tyreese, and while I hadn't used my gun in a while, the number had to be decreasing drastically after tonight.

"Glenn!" Rick yelled. "He's got to be somewhere around here."

"Glenn!" Michonne was next.

As Rick shot the next few bullets, the gun clicked in his hands as he ran out of bullets. I knew I was running low, I'd have to get the axe out soon enough. As I holstered my gun and reached for the axe, Rick pulled out the familiar orange weapon and fired. The walker went down as the flare filled the area around us with smoke. I coughed, the mixture of the smell of corpses and the fog filling my lungs, and I covered my mouth with my arm, keeping an eye on the walkers.

The next one that came close Rick swiped at with his gun, knocking it to the ground. He knelt to finish it off. Before he could even stand back up, gunshots went off, flying into the first line of walkers that jerked with each impact. I dropped down, hearing the bangs from behind us, and Rick's arm came down over my back.

Behind us, was Glenn and Aaron, who was holding a handgun. I kept low, my eyes on the gun as Rick stood beside me. Aaron placed the gun on the ground and raised his hands. "If you want to tie me up again, that's fine, but hurry up."

"No time," Rick said, leaning down to grab the gun that Glenn must have given him. "We're going that way."

I followed him as he ran off into the woods.

Eventually, we emerged onto an empty road, no walkers, no people.

Route 16. This was where he wanted us—now we were here. If there was an ambush, this is where it was going to happen. Unless his group got rerouted by the herd too. I could see the look in Rick's eyes, he thought this could be the same thing I did. They could be herding us this way, it could have already happened to the others.

"Where are they?" Rick asked.

"I don't know."

Rick breathed out through his nose, leaning closer to Aaron. "If this is a trap to get us back where you want us, your people are going to die tonight." Aaron didn't seem as scared as before, but he was still intimidated by Rick. He turned back around. "The flare was towards the water tower."

As we neared the water tower, a mixture of different buildings was hidden between the trees. They looked like factories or garages, large industrial buildings with boarded windows and broken glass in some places.

At the other end of a lane, there was an orange glow from a light inside one of the buildings. I could see the faint outline of a figure. Rick whistled down the lane, and the darkened figure returned the whistle. Again, Rick whistled back before the figure walked out from the doorframe and I could see the darkened outline of a built man with a crossbow.

They were here, alive.

Hiding?

Daryl walked back to the door as we ran down the lane and tapped on the glass, before the door slid open Maggie ran out first, followed by Carl, who sprinted over to Rick as they crashed into a hug, as did Glenn and Maggie.

"Dad!"

"Your sister okay?" Rick asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, we're fine," Carl said with the biggest smile.

Aaron ran past me and said, "Eric?! Eric!"

As everyone ran to see if everyone was still alive, to hug their family, I watched as Rick followed Eric inside the warehouse. Most of the others headed straight inside, but I leaned on a rusty car that was outside of the door and just kept my eyes on the windows. I was getting sick of having nobody in a group full of people.

Martinez was the first person to approach me. "You okay?"

"Just thinking." (About how many times I've come back to the group and had nobody to hug, nobody who even seemed to care all that much. How that meant either they weren't worried about me, or assumed I'd be back alive.) "Just . . . yeah," I concluded with a breath.

"Isaac isn't rushing to see you," Martinez stated, glancing between us. "Having some troubles?"

"We're fine." I hoped. Even if he didn't like me in the same way, the way he did before Aaron showed up, I needed the minimum for us to be fine. It reminds me of what I told Glenn when he said Maggie would be mad at him for telling the group about the barn: it's better to have them pissed off with me and alive than liking me and dead.

"Looks like," he said, not believing me at all. "What happened?"

Glancing out the side of my eye, I eventually shook my head, saying that I wasn't going to go into it. Nobody could help with this, I wanted to keep the matter private. My chest tightened as the only thing that crossed my mind was how I made us both feel like shit after our kiss. I could blame Aaron, but what would be the point? I was the one that got scared and embarrassed, I was the one that wanted to just kill him.

I sighed, staring at the warehouse building in front of us. "Who's in there?"

"Eric?" Martinez raised a brow, and I nodded. "Aaron's boyfriend, I assume. The one other person he was travelling with. Saw the flare go up and we thought it was you guys, but we found him instead. Surprised he didn't tell you when he saw the flare."

"He freaked out and kicked a door into Michonne to get away rather than telling us," I said. (And then I tried shooting him). "How is he? Eric?"

"Physically or as a person?"

I shrugged. "Either, or."

"He's okay, in both cases. He was trapped when we found him, Maggie says he broke his ankle, but he's going to be okay. They have a doctor at his place. They'll fix him right up," he explained, crossing his arms over each other as he leaned back against the car. "They seem like good people."

"Right."

"You don't think so." It wasn't a question.

"I don't have to think anything," I said. "I just do what I'm told."

"You met him first, didn't have anyone around to take orders from. What did you think then?"

"Why?"

"I'm curious."

I clenched my teeth. "I thought that I didn't want to die."

I looked back to the building ahead just as Daryl nodded for the rest of us to head inside. "Everyone in."

Inside the warehouse-looking building were some workbenches and box shelves that made me think this place had to be a garage. Maybe not a garage, but with the tools and chains scattered around the place, it would have been some kind of manual labour job or storage before the fall.

Martinez was behind me and moved past to stand beside Abraham as everyone spoke amongst themselves over what happened. Isaac was sitting with Noah, talking quietly as they leaned against another workbench.

I pushed myself up on the workbench, facing the door.

"Excuse me, everyone," Aaron called, getting the others' attention. "Thank you; you saved Eric. I owe you. All of you. And I will make sure that the debt is paid in full when we get to our community. When we get to Alexandria."

That was it. He said where his community was, and the name of the town. I guess that meant he trusted us. I couldn't even look over at him, because the events of the night were still ringing in my head. I almost shot Aaron, and if he died, we would have come here and I would have to explain to Eric why his boyfriend was dead. And what then? We lose out on a community because I killed one of their men for hurting my friend?

"Now, I'm not sure about you, but I'd rather not do any more driving tonight," he said. "Maybe we can hit the road tomorrow morning."

"That sounds fine. But if we're staying here for the night, you're sleeping over there," Rick pointed to the other end of the room. At least I wasn't the only person who didn't trust him.

"You think we got to do that?" Maggie asked with a tilt of her head.

"It's the safe play. We don't know you."

"The only way you're gonna stop me from being with him right now is by shooting me," Aaron challenged him.

There was silence as they stared at each other, and I sighed, turning away as I leaned back on the shelves. Neither of them were going to kill one another, not over something like this. Still, Aaron stepped forward to the room.

"Woah," Glenn held out an arm to stop him and turned to Rick. "Rick, he told us where the camp is. And he was only travelling with one other person." Rick was still unconvinced, and so Glenn continued. "They're both unarmed. One of them's got a broken ankle. I want us to be safe, too. I can't give up everything else. I know what I said, but . . . it does matter."

Glenn was referring to what he said, and how he acted the day we lost Tyreese. That he thought it didn't matter, but even now, seeing that Aaron was a good person, he'd completely changed his mind. And I almost killed him.

Rick took a step back, and considered, before nodding. "All right."

As the commotion died down, everyone settled in for the night.

The next morning, Rick and Abraham set off outside to hotwire the car that was in the lane. All of us wouldn't have been able to fit comfortably in the motorhome, so we did need another vehicle before we left. As they did this, everyone either began looting or moving their things out to the caravan.

I sat in the back corner of the room for a while, glancing around and considering taking all of the items I found on the shelves. This room now had been cleared, but there was another one I could look into before we left, the one where Aaron and Eric were sleeping. I hoped that maybe they had already gone out to the vehicles ready, needing that extra time with Eric's broken ankle, so I grabbed my bag and moved to the other room.

Unfortunately, they were in the room and talking when I found them. I had already walked in, and before I could turn around to leave, I was noticed. "Hi, I'm Eric."

Aaron looked over his shoulder when Eric greeted me, seemingly surprised that it was me who had come into the room. Part of me considered leaving, but I did want to look at the shelves across the room and grab what I could before we left.

"Ace."

"We didn't meet yesterday, were you in the other car?" Eric tried making conversation. I kept my eyes anywhere else in the room, mainly taking tabs of what I could take now there was no exit. "Thank you for bringing him back safe."

"I tried to shoot him," I said bluntly.

Eric's head snapped to Aaron, who was stumbling over his words to explain. "I-I saw the flare go up and I was panicking, and I kicked the car door into one of her friends to get back to you. It was completely justified."

I just stared past them. There was no point lying to him. Even if I cared about entry to his community and tried to hide it, Aaron could just tell them what I had done anyway. The only other option was to act like a complete saint, and I'm not sure I could will myself into doing that after everything.

"Then I'm sorry about his behaviour," Eric tried again.

This isn't funny, I wanted to yell. What would you do if I shot him? I found it hard to believe that they wanted new members of their community so badly that they were willing to forgive the attempted murder of his life.

"And I assure you, I don't intend on bringing it up when we get to Alexandria," Aaron said.

"Up to you," I muttered, finally entering the room. I walked around them to get to the shelves and workbench I had been eyeing.

"What are you doing?" Eric asked.

"Looking."

"I tried looking here yesterday, but I couldn't find anything useful." He was still trying to make friendly conversation, still. But what baffled me is he thought most of the things on the shelves weren't worth taking.

"Lighter fluid can use that to start fires," I placed it down on the workbench beside me. "Nails, screws, tools, needed for building. There's a pulley system hanging in front of the door behind me that's good in a garage."

"I guess I meant I couldn't find anything I'd find useful," Eric smiled. "Aaron and I aren't very handy, that's why we do this. Though, I wouldn't say I'm very good at this either."

"No one in your group builds then how'd you get the walls up?" I asked.

"We have builders, but they said they have everything they need right now. We tell our architects if we find anything they might want, and then some people will come back and fetch it if we become desperate. We were just out here to find some more people," Eric explained.

"Dwp iawn," I muttered to myself. Why waste the petrol sending people back here when you could just take the stuff anyway?

"Are you a mechanic?" Aaron asked. "You were the one that tried fixing the car when we broke down yesterday."

I hummed but didn't answer as I shoved the things into the last scraps of space in my bag. It dawned on me that the things in this room were not worth the awkward conversation that happened on top of my looting.

"Oh, that's cool," Eric said. "We don't have a mechanic in Alexandria."

"Oh, great," I muttered sarcastically.

"Is that why you want the tools?" Aaron asked.

"I don't need this stuff for cars." (I want it in case I need to start making weapons again.)

"Then what?"

I ignored the question and continued my looting. Footsteps entered the room behind me, and I heard Maggie's voice speaking to Aaron. "We should get Eric into the RV."

"Yeah," Aaron agreed. "I'll come back for our things."

I looked back to see them helping him stand on one foot and supporting him as he hopped out of the room. At least the moment of silence would give me some time to organise which of these supplies would be shoved in a random bag and which I was going to take in my backpack. I didn't know whether Alexandria would take our things from us, but maybe they wouldn't take our bags.

Again, I heard someone enter the room behind me and knew Aaron was back to grab his and Eric's things to take to the caravan. I didn't look at him, hoping to discourage any more conversation, which didn't happen.

"I want you to know, I'm sorry if I did anything to scare you or upset you in any way," Aaron said. "I assure you it wasn't my intention."

Maybe he was commenting on my mood, but I was surprised he was so shocked by it. He'd been listening in on us, hadn't he? Even if he didn't hear enough to understand why I was acting the way that I was, I'd probably be more surprised if someone I just met who'd been living on the road was perfectly pleasant to me.

Then again, maybe I just assumed that everyone who lived on the road was going to be angry or in a mood based on my limited experiences in dealing with those kinds of people. Maybe Aaron hadn't been strangled by a stranger or got his face cut by a group of sociopaths.

"Your other secret is safe with me, too," he said.

I knew he was referring to me and Isaac, and a tightness grew in my chest as I reached for the batteries. "Doesn't matter."

Aaron was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry. I hoped that you guys would still be talking after I showed up. I didn't mean to ruin that for you."

I ruined it for myself, shut the hell up! I thought desperately. I ruined it because I was so scared and embarrassed that I called our first kiss stupid. Clenching my teeth, I continued searching for more supplies, hoping the silence would make Aaron leave.

When I heard his footsteps fade away, I zipped up my bag and pulled the straps over my shoulder. As I made my way out to the vehicles, I saw Carl leaning against the car I saw last night, with Judith in his arms.

"Ace, coming with us?" Carl asked.

How could I say no to that? I gave an attempt at a smile and nodded, holding my hands out to take Judith as I neared. Rick nodded for us to get in the car that we found outside of the warehouse that Abraham hot-wired for us to take.

When they got Aaron and Eric into the motorhome, and everyone had finished looting the nearby buildings, we took off. I sat sideways across the back seats, facing Carl who looked out of the window as we drove. Judith pulled at my hair in the car, but I just ignored her and stared out the back window. My mind was completely blank as we continued driving.

We had been driving for so long that I was shocked when I got the first sight of buildings I had seen in maybe an hour, and I was shocked. "They're this close to a city?"

"That's Washington," Carl said. "That tall one is the monument building."

I looked back over my shoulder as the road turned and the city was behind me, out my window. Their eyes burned into me as I stared, everyone was noticeably quiet as if they thought I'd explode at another mention of the capitol. While I didn't plan on blowing up, I felt resentment rise in me as I thought about everything I did to get my people here.

As it disappeared behind the trees, I said goodbye and fuck you to D.C in my head and turned back to the car in front of me, resuming my position sideways in the seat.

"I found their place on a map," Rick said. "It's not too close to the city."

"It's empty," I noticed. "There were hundreds of walkers through Atlanta. Where are all the walkers?"

"Probably all back on that road where we lost the car," Michonne joked.

"Yeah," Carl laughed.

His amusement reminded me for a moment that he was the same kid I had watched grow up, but he was still barely older than he was when I first met him. He looked so much older than the small boy who wanted to play Ludo or tag.

Maybe a mile or so down the road, the caravan stopped in front of us.

While they had this chance for a break, everyone got out of the heat trap and sat around on the sides of the road, keeping watch for walkers or talking amongst their small groups. I just stayed in the car, still sitting in my sideways position as Carl took Judith for a small walk. Michonne spoke with Rick quietly while Glenn and Abraham were getting the caravan ready to move again.

Glenn showed Abraham to the spare battery under the stairs. After being so close to Dale, Glenn probably learnt everything there was to learn about the ins and outs of a motorhome, so I wasn't needed for this fix. No part of me expected to be asked to help—I had become used to being redundant.

Eventually, the caravan came back to life in front of us, and Rick stood up. "I need to take a moment."

Everyone returned to the motorhome, but they saw Rick walking away, and Abraham turned the vehicle off in front of us.

The front door opened as Michonne sat down in the driver's seat in front of me. She sat down in the passenger seat but scooched over to the driver's seat so she could see me. "Aren't you a little young to be retired? And I know you're racking your brain for the sarcastic reply, but that was a setup, so I'll take the best one. Come on, something about me being too old."

"I'm not funny enough for that anymore," I said, though I can't deny that I was searching desperately for a comment.

She seemed to ignore my comment for the time being because it wasn't the most uplifting way to start a conversation. "Aren't you hot in here?"

"I could go bask in the sun, cool myself down."

Michonne grinned. "I knew you were still funny. I was thinking we should just turn the air con on."

"You'll wreck the battery if the car isn't running and if it is you waste petrol," I stated simply. "No point until Rick gets back and we're driving."

Rick probably wouldn't have been too long to drain the battery, but in all honesty, this car had been sitting around for God knows how long. I was surprised that the caravan was the thing to break down before this car.

The look on Michonne's face almost held pity as she started talking again. "I'm sorry, you know. I do think you know what you're doing, and I do trust you," she clarified, recalling my statement from the night before. There was more, though. There was always more. "I also know that so much has happened in the last few weeks. You're angry."

"And stupid," I finished her sentence for her. (Anger makes you stupid, stupid gets you killed.)

"I wouldn't go that far," she admitted. "But, I think you're still in a fight that isn't happening anymore. It's over, you don't have to keep going as hard as you are." I just stared right through her, and she brought her heels up to rest on the grill, leaning her elbows on her knees. "Being out here, it eats you up. It does for me, anyway."

I lived on the road before, I wanted to say, but Michonne had probably heard the stories of what happened to me during Winter. Then again, she was there to see a lot of what happened to me after we lost the prison. I had a scar on my face to show that I never had an easy time.

"Maybe it doesn't seem like it very often, but you can fall back on us if you need a break. If not them, then me," she assured.

Isn't what I've been doing for the past few weeks taking a break? All I remember from the past three weeks was sadness from all the losses, but more than anything, the boredom that followed with me stepping back from the jobs I used to do.

"I was there once, just feeling so much nothing that it pissed me off. There was nothing good left in the world. Then, one day I met this girl who saw that I needed help, and took me in. I owe what life I have now to you," she said. "You take care of so many people here when you need someone to look after you."

Before she could continue, the door opened and Carl sat down with Judith beside me. "Where'd dad go?"

"He's on his way back," I said, nodding to the figure that was coming out of the woods. Judith bounced on the seat as Carl tried to hold her and keep her still. "Need me to take her?"

"Yeah, okay," he leaned over and handed me the baby. "Thanks."

As Rick walked back to the car, Michonne pushed herself back into the passenger seat. Rick sat down in the driver's seat, put his seatbelt on and followed after the caravan that started up ahead of us. After a while of driving, Rick took over the motorhome to lead them to the community when Abraham stopped at a junction, not sure about where we were going.

And before long, we approached the large metal fence made of corrugated metal. The thick metal gate was blocked off by another gate on the inside with a tarp on the front that blocked any view into the community. Rick turned off the car, and the first thing I heard from inside was children, playing, and screaming the way kids do. It shocked me, with Woodbury or Terminus we never heard anything from inside.

Michonne placed her hand on the wheel in front of Rick. "You ready?"

Rick nodded, his eyes coming back over the seat to meet my own. "Yeah."

I stood up as Carl stepped out the other side.

Afterwards, I walked around the car to meet Rick with Judith, and he took her from my arms. Isaac stood with Noah near the gates everyone was standing in a big group outside the gates, ready to be let inside. All I remembered was Aaron saying something about auditioning, someone decided whether we were allowed into the community, so I waited by the car.

Carol stopped by us, the gun hanging in her arms. "Even though you were wrong, you're still right. Both of you."

Nice to be appreciated, I thought sarcastically. I leaned back on the car, my eyes never leaving the community as Judith wriggled in Rick's arms beside me. I glanced back just in time to see her bury her head in his shoulder to turn in the other direction, and Rick let out a laugh. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her head before he whispered to Judith.

"Should we go?"

I would take some time to explain how stupid everything becomes at Alexandria but this just may become a series of stupid things over many authors notes. I understand everyone loves the on the road aspect of season 5, but my goodness, Alexandria is so stupid.

Anyway, let me know what you think :)