FEBRUARY 10, 2006

On a cloudy morning, Crysta walked down to the pantry to pick up a chocolate donut she received yesterday and Angelica took notice while preparing scrambled eggs and hashbrown patties. "Crysta—where did you get that donut?"

"I got it from school, Mom," she sunk her teeth in the delectable good, "They are running a fundraiser where they sell these Valentine Grams to help the school district provide transportation for our teams." Thankfully, a piece of the frosting did not land on her Green Day shirt but rather on her left breast, and she cleaned it up with a paper towel.

Angelica scanned her daughter, "Hon', you should cut down on those sweets."

Crysta interrupted, "Oh, boy! You want to body-shame me?"

"I am not body-shaming anyone," Angelica defended, "I just do not want you to end up developing poor eating habits. If you want to make your body bigger, be my guest; you should know what risks you will take."

"I don't know how you can say that when you are standing here chugging wine!" Crysta countered.

"I'm not chugging wine!" Angelica walked up to the redwood breakfast table. It had six shots of wine and six eight-ounce cups of coffee paired up, "I'm sampling a flight of our Chardonnays with a Pennsylvanian coffee pairing! They call it a Blood Cauldron and it is elegantly cultural!" She poured one Chardonnay shot into blonde roast coffee. Before sipping the mixture, Angelica commented, "It goes well with unsalted crackers and Cougar Gold cheese. I already packed bags of them for anyone to take as a snack."

"Where did you get the cheese?" Crysta asked.

"We bought three cans at a Washington State University campus in Richland on our Pacific Northwest tour. The folks at Red Mountain told us that cheese is a regional delicacy and can be made into anything your heart desires," Angelica spat the drink into the kitchen sink and rinsed her mouth with water. She returned to the original topic, "Now, about the goodies you have been getting at school:...I am wondering if someone is in love with you."

"Let's not jump to conclusions, Mom," Crysta backed up, "It is possible that some people—or person—bought those goodies for me because I was feeling like shit. Plus, it does not need to be from any student."

Angelica nodded as she tasted another mixture.

Crysta continued as she ate a microwaved breakfast sandwich, "It is also possible that someone just decided to buy a Gram to help the school district send our teams to different schools under our umbrella."

Angelica spat into the sink and rinsed again, "Yes, everyone has a different motive to help our community. Take our latest library for example! Ten percent of the money came from our hockey teams, while fifteen percent came from a pair of defendants that sued a Fairfax millionaire for sexual harassment in the workplace."

Crysta walked out to her bus and nodded, "I guess Mom's right—Any motive to raise money for a good cause is possible."

AFTER SCHOOL

"How's everything, guys?" Pips asked while carrying a box of old VHS tapes from home.

"Looking good, Pips!" Stump gave him a thumbs up.

The five boys had established their business of selling old items to clear out their homes. Their families took part in collecting whatever they no longer needed. Lines of stock were organized on the front lawn, garage, and driveway: clothes hung on garment racks, toys placed on tables, books leaned against one another on a bookshelf, three kid-sized bikes leaned against a wall, video tapes packed in green containers, and compact discs collected in a disc folder. Knotty brought in stacks of jewel cases to put compact discs in. Root arrived on his bike with a full red backpack. He opened it to lift out a heavy box marked "PHOTOGRAPHIC MAGAZINES—$10 EACH!"

"Wow, dude!" Stump was astonished, "That box must be full!"

"Yeah, I asked my mom if there are some things we should not throw out but rather sell. She handed me this box of photographic magazines my brother had in his room," Root placed the box on a white plastic table.

"Let me have a look. I want to make sure these magazines are in tip-top condition," Stump said as he opened one. His inspection started rough as he flipped through the pages with a stunned expression: "Uh,...Root,...why are there people either wearing swimsuits or nothing?"

"I am not sure. I guess this is something my brother's interested in," Root replied.

Pips got a hold of the magazine and quickly scanned it. He speculated, "My guess is that your brother wants to be a photographer, Root."

"Really?"

"Yeah, each person here is depicted at a unique pose and angle. The details may be unsettling at first, but I bet you will appreciate the art of photography if you stare at it long enough," Pips raised his eyebrows, "...like this lady lying down on a silver Porsche Carrera GT! She and the photographer must love going to a beach, so I can assume they want the picture taken right there during a sunset."

Stump flipped through another magazine, "Look at this Mexican woman! She is wearing a green swimsuit with a ring attached to her exposed belly button and is washing some guy's gray-and-red Jeep Wrangler!"

Root's confidence surged, "Oh, we are totally going to make some bank!"

And so did Pips' uncertainty, "I am not sure if we can sell these without your brother's knowledge, Root. Is he going to come down here and find out?"

Root replied, "Oh, I wish he could come here, but Mom sent him to my uncle's pig farm near York Springs. I overheard them shouting at each other, so I guess she got upset my brother wanted to be a photographer."

Knotty commented, "Dude, your mom is a dick."

"Yeah; however, I am not saying the same for my sister," Root said, pulling a lighter box from his backpack. "Have a look!" He opened it, and his friends were more expressively stunned.

"What the hell are these?" Stump grabbed a long cyan object with a rounded tip.

"She told me these are rocket ships."

The "rocket ship" in question slightly leaned on one side. "It sure looks unstable to be a rocket ship," Knotty raised his eyebrow in doubt.

Root asserted, "Yes, but every rocket ship needs a wider base. Don't you guys remember this back in second grade?"

"I do," Pips said, "It needs a pair of delta wings, an engine nozzle, two solid boosters, and an external tank. Do we have any cardboard, scissors, and glue lying around here?"

"I am letting my little brother use them for his art project," Knotty said, much to Pips' disappointment.

Stump's curiosity grew, "Say, Root—why would your sister want those gone?"

"She wanted to buy herself bigger rocket ships," Root answered.

"And does your mother know about this?"

"My sister must have taken notes from that exchange. I can assume Mom would search through our rooms to discourage us from following our careers—all while she invites some smelly men over to wrestle in her bedroom."

"Remember what I stated about how much of a dick Root's mom is? Yeah, she is trrrashy! That's 'trashy' with three Rs!" Knotty confirmed his statement.

From their left, a man in a gray fedora noticed the merchandise. "Hi there, children. I see you are selling away your old stuff. Are your parents around?"

Knotty replied, "My mom is helping my brother with his homework and my dad is baking some brownies. Don't worry about us staying out in the cold! We have a bonfire going to keep us warm."

"I appreciate the hospitality your parents gave to you and your friends. When you get older, you should run a thrift store, a retro electronic store, or a donation center for the commu—." The man picked up a magazine from Root's box, "Little man, do you know what this is?"

"It's one of the many photographic magazines, sir," Root shivered in fear, "My mom permitted me to sell those."

Another man donning a Ravens knit cap approached behind the one in the fedora, "What's going on here?"

"This boy's mother allowed him to sell these 'photographic' magazines."

Root interrupted the two men, "Look! If you do not want them, I might as well throw out the whole box into a landfill!"

"The hell you are, kid! I'm buying three of them," the man in the knit cap handed Root thirty dollars.

"And I am buying four of them!" the man in the fedora joined in.

The four boys looked at Root in awe as he made two sales totaling seventy dollars. The two men walked away with their purchased magazines. "I'd tell you, Joel. That boy should have known better about saving the environment."

"I agree, Baker. The teachers have been working hard teaching the kids, only to give them the finger once they leave school. I am certain the boy's parents do not even care about him."

After watching the men turn to a different street, Knotty turned to Root, "I cannot believe you almost ticked off those men, dude."

"Yeah, dude! Many of us are not yuge fans of throwing art like photographic magazines!" Stump sipped into his sports drink, "That's like burning books written by Jewish or black authors, Root! It ain't right!"

Root settled the boys down, "I did not mean to say it, guys, but look how much money I made—seventy fucking dollars! I still have fifty-three more to sell, so you better do the math."

Pips added, "Don't forget those rocket ships you have in that other box."

"And we are only thirty-five minutes into our first day," Stump looked at his watch, "With our advertisements placed around town, we will exceed impossible milestones."