"Lying to oneself is sometimes the irreplaceable bridge over misfortunes."

Amin Maalouf

Hermione walked through the corridors in a hurry. She had some information to give Remus, preferably in private. She hadn't seen him much lately, and it was really starting to weigh on her, but she didn't say anything. They both had obligations to the Order, and they couldn't deviate from them. Hermione had slowly started training again, but she was getting tired very quickly, so most of the time she was teaching. She was teaching the students how to fight properly, both magically and Muggle style, as well as how to resist the Imperius curse. She never thought she'd have enough patience to teach anything, but eventually, after doing it with Harry and Neville, she got used to it. Of course, she would have much preferred to be useful to the Order by fighting, but she wasn't capable of that at the moment, she knew full well that given her state of health, she would be killed immediately.

But in addition to the few classes she was teaching, she had also continued her research on horcruxes, and that was what she wanted to talk to Remus about. She didn't know where he was, and she had left the marauder's map in her room, in a safe place, to make sure that one of his creators didn't come across it, and above all, didn't ask her how she had found it.

She finally found him after a long search, in an empty classroom, training for a fight. That was almost all he did anymore. He would go on a mission, train, and then leave again. He was exhausted. Hermione knew that he was trying to hide it, but she knew him, and she had seen the spells he had used to avoid noticing his dark circles and drawn features. She entered quietly, but Remus' over-developed hearing allowed her to hear him. He stopped abruptly as he became aware of Hermione's presence, then walked over to her, mopping his face with a towel.

"What are you doing here?"

"Hello, I'm glad to see you too after four days."

"Four days? I have no sense of time, it's disastrous."

"I brought you a little pick-me-up."

Contrary to what one might think, this little pick-me-up was not strong alcohol, but a bar of dark chocolate, one of Remus' favourites. He seemed to be in awe of Hermione's gift and ran over to it, before he had hugged her, just to share his sweat with Hermione.

"Thank you, I haven't eaten one of these in weeks."

"I'm sure if you went to the elves they'd be happy to get you some."

"I don't think so. What brings you here?"

"Am I not allowed to come to you for no reason? Don't give me that look, it's true, we haven't seen each other for four days. I was going to come, I didn't have any particular reason, except that I wanted to see you, then I came across an article and I got caught up in it. I think I know what the next horcrux is."

Remus stopped eating the chocolate bar abruptly, and waited for Hermione to continue.

"We needed something that belonged to Merlin, didn't we? We searched for weeks and found nothing, Merlin didn't talk much about his life. I don't know much about him, but he was a Time Chosen, like us. Then I came across an article in an Italian newspaper. I don't speak Italian, but it's easy to translate with a spell, and it's good to see the world news. Anyway, I came across an article saying that the biggest wizarding museum in Europe had been robbed. But they only took one thing, Merlin's first wand."

"And that's our horcrux, Merlin's wand?"

"I'm ninety percent sure."

"And where would this wand be hidden?"

"I have several hypotheses. First, the places that were important to him. There was the orphanage, even though he hated being there, that's where his hatred of muggles started, I think it might be a way of getting back at him to put a horcrux there. Then there's the place of his first job, at Borgin and Burkes. We all know that this shop is involved in dark magic, so I wouldn't be surprised. I had thought about the house where he murdered his father and grandparents, but the more I think about it, the less likely it is. Then there are secret places. Merlin's grave, Slytherin's grave. There are too many other possibilities."

"We'll have to continue the search."

"I'll do it, you're exhausted enough as it is. And I'm a better judge of dark magic than you are. You should get some sleep, you know."

"I'm fine."

"Is that why you're hiding under your spells?

"I should have known you'd see them."

With a flick of her wand, Hermione removed all the spells on them, returning them to their true appearance at the same time. Her signet rings were visible again, and she gently removed the Potters' signet ring, before handing it to Remus.

"What are you doing?"

"I want you to keep it with you."

"What?"

"I want you to wear the Potter ring instead of me."

"That I understood. I want to know why."

"Being a prisoner of Voldy and the Death Eaters has made me realize certain things. I don't want to risk losing them. Harry entrusted them to me, and I have to preserve them. He gave me the Black signet ring first, but I didn't get the Potter signet ring until he died. I'm afraid I'll get caught again and they'll be destroyed."

"And why do you want me to keep the Potters'?"

"Harry gave me the Black's one. He made me promise not to part with it. I suffered discrimination when I was younger. Just because my parents don't have magic in them. So keeping a family ring with the motto Toujours Pur is giving a big finger to all the purebloods, to all the Death Eater. I've suffered, much more with the Black family, the Potter family has given me almost nothing but good. So this is a way of reminding me of who I am, what I've been through, and that no matter what happens, I will remain pure in my intentions. And you deserve to have a symbol that you belong to the Potter family, because James has been your brother in the past."

"And you really think I'll be able to take care of that ring? More than you?"

"I don't know, but my mind is made up and I'm not going back on it."

She grabbed Remus' hand and slipped the ring on before grabbing her chocolate bar and taking a bite, as the wizard looked on in horror. An argument over a bar of chocolate followed, before they both collapsed. They had smiled. They hadn't done that for a while now. Eventually they fell asleep in the empty room, each against the other, smiling.

Remus' sleep was restless, and like every night, he woke up with a jolt, after a nightmare. Most of the time his nightmares were a blur when he woke up, although he always remembered who he had nightmares about, James, Sirius, Lily, Dora, Teddy, Hermione, but his nightmare of the day was nothing ordinary, it didn't involve any of the people mentioned, and he remembered them perfectly.

He moved as gently as possible away from Hermione and was careful not to wake her. It was barely five o'clock, but he couldn't sleep any more. Even though his body was sending him signals, he could not bring himself to listen to them.

Remus Lupin was far from being an idiot, that was no surprise. He had even been in his youth, according to his friends, the smartest and wisest of the marauders, although he wasn't sure if wise and marauder could be in the same sentence. Remus had always wondered why fate had come upon him, he was a werewolf, had been alone for much of his childhood and once he had made friends they had all disappeared, one by one. After the loss of his wife and son, he'd thought things couldn't get any worse, but he'd had to turn back time. And here he was, wandering the halls of the castle he had grown up in.

Remus knew that the scar on his forehead was not harmless, it never had been, because it looked exactly like Harry's. And not just the shape. He was in pain. Remus wasn't stupid, he'd wondered about it when he'd first felt the pain, and when he'd felt the pain around the locket. He hadn't wanted to face it, because it was too barbaric, too unimaginable. But the dream he had had last night swept away all his doubts. He had dreamt of Merlin's wand. He didn't know how he knew it was Merlin's wand, but he was sure of it. Just as he was certain of its location.

And it was this dream that put an end to his doubts. It was a certainty now. And it disgusted him. He didn't know how it could have happened, during a simple battle, but the proof was there. Hermione would eventually understand it too. She wasn't stupid either. Maybe she already suspected something, maybe she was just kidding herself, he didn't know.

He let his steps guide him, without any real goal, and as always during his nightly walks, his steps eventually led him to the Astronomy Tower. He approached the embankment, and stared at the Hogwarts grounds below him. He couldn't see much, human eyesight wasn't as good as werewolf eyesight. He thought he was alone, but then he noticed a student in a dark corner. He was standing still, Remus had no idea what he was doing there, and why he was so thinly covered when it was still winter. He approached him, slowly, not wanting to scare this child, who must have been a first or second year. He didn't know if he had seen him, but he had the answer when he started to speak.

"You don't have to come forward like that, I've seen you."

Remus could finally see the young man's face, dimly lit by the moonlight.

"Aren't you cold? I'm not sure it's the right time of year to go out in a T-shirt."

"What does it matter anyway? I can get sick, no one will care. No one will come and yell at me for not covering up enough."

"You're Raphaël, aren't you?"

"How do you know my name? I've never seen you before. You must be one of those Order members who's never in the castle, and I doubt you'd be forced to learn the names of all the students trapped here."

"You could have left if you wanted to."

"No one is waiting for me abroad."

"No one is waiting for you here either, yet you stayed."

"That's true, but I've made my mark here. I know this castle, I am at home. You haven't answered my question."

"Helena talks about you a lot."

"Are you her uncle? At least, that's what you say. I know it's not true. She's half-admitted to me."

"What do you mean, 'half-admitted'?"

"I have a kind of intuition. I can tell when people aren't telling me the truth. You pretend to be her uncle, and she pretends to be your niece. But I haven't found out what you are to each other yet, she hasn't told me either. Are you in love?"

Remus stood for a moment in shock, before his face formed a disgusted grimace.

"What? No! Me and Her... Helena, ugh! Never in a million years. Oh, but what an idea... I'm married! Or at least I was! I don't want to hear such a horror ever again. She's like... I don't know exactly, but certainly not that!"

"I didn't mean to offend you. And Helena's nice. She's the one who helped me stay here."

"Yeah, she told me. She likes you."

"I like her. She's the first person who asked me if I needed help with my homework. My family is no longer here, and I was never very close to them. And Helena never judged me. Even when I cried like a child the first time we spoke. You know she taught me how to fight the Muggle way? And I'm starting to resist the Imperius curse, but she says I still have to improve."

"You always have to improve. But she was quite proud of your progress, she was happy to see you so invested in her class."

Silence fell and Raphaël stared at the ceiling. He didn't know what to say. Or at least without hurting the man in front of him. He was imposing, he had lived, the young wizard was sure of it.

"Can I ask you a very personal question?"

"It depends on the question."

"You said you were married. But in the past tense, and you still wear your wedding ring. What happened to her?"

"She was killed in battle. By her aunt. A lot of people I knew died that day."

"My condolences."

"Thank you. It's been a long time now. Almost twelve years."

"I can't imagine. Spending the equivalent of my entire life without the person you love."

"You've been through too much pain for a child your age."

"I have. I still get angry sometimes."

"It's okay. I'm still angry too. Here, look, this is a picture of my son."

"He's cute. Was he a metamorphmagus? That must be a nice power."

"What would you like to do if you were one?"

"I think I'd take on the appearance of someone my own age, with a loving family. Just to see what life could be like. I'd want someone to kiss me goodnight before I went to sleep, to ask me how my day was. I would like to have a simple day, like everyone should have. Without this damn war outside."

"You know, Raphaël, when I was your age, I was very angry at life for making me the way I was, and yet I still didn't know anything about death, my parents were alive, and my best friends. So don't miss out on your life. Enjoy the people around you. Don't reject the love that is given to you."

"What do you mean?"

"Helena is proud of you. You know, we don't see each other much anymore, but she tells me about your progress. All her students in general, but especially you. She has a hard time opening up to others. But she cares about you. She likes spending time with you. And don't think it's out of pity. She was touched by you the day you met, and then she liked the discussions you had afterwards. And if she has half admitted that I am not her uncle, it is because she trusts you. She won't be like me in telling you things about my wife and son, because the wounds haven't fully healed yet, and she's not one to confide her problems, but she wouldn't have done so if she didn't."

"You are not who you say you are. I'm sure you are. Helena can't be only twenty-four or twenty-five. She's not the same age as Mr Potter or Mr Black."

"I'd love to see their faces if you called them that in front of them. Come on, I'll take you back to your dormitory, you shouldn't brood like that at night, alone. It's no good."

They walked silently towards Raphaël's room, as dawn was already breaking. Before leaving him, Remus held him back one last time.

"Raphaël, you can call me by my first name, you know."

The young wizard nodded, before entering his common room. Remus turned and walked back to the classroom where he was practicing before being interrupted by Hermione. He gathered up the things that might be useful in retrieving the horcrux. He hesitated, but didn't want to wake her, he didn't know how often she managed to fall asleep, so he didn't want to tempt the devil. He went to the Great Hall and started to eat his breakfast, he was going to leave as soon as possible and get that damn wand back. He found the marauders and Harry eating too. For the past few weeks Harry had been waking up very early, and the three adults had also been getting up early and going to bed early, or at least trying to.

"Remiiii"

Harry's little voice came across the Hall, it had to be said that at this hour there were not many people around. He went to greet them, and chatted with them about anything and everything.

"Are you going somewhere? Has Moody already given you another assignment?"

"No, we found another one."

"And where is Helena?"

"She's not coming."

"She must not have liked it."

"She doesn't know about it. That's why I'm here so early. I'll go."

"Are you going alone? No way, you could..."

"James, when we got the Hufflepuff cup back, we only had to get into their HQ, there'll be traps everywhere. It's not exactly pleasant."

"I'm coming with you."

"Sirius..."

"No Remus, I'm the one who knows the most about dark magic, even though I haven't touched it in years. I'm not gonna let Remi go alone to get a piece of you-know-who's soul. I'm going to get some stuff from my room and come back."

As he left, Remus yelled at him that he was a bloody Gryffindor, James told him that he too was a Gryffindor and that there was a time when he was very proud of his house. Remus stared at the spot where Sirius was disappearing, his heart clenching with apprehension. Unlike the other horcruxes, he had no idea what his protections were, and that didn't reassure him. Because he hated the unknown, especially when it was Voldemort who had created that unknown. Hermione was going to kill him when she found out he wasn't there, and he already felt sorry for James and his doppelganger, she was going to take her nerves out on them.

Remus had to get that horcrux back today at all costs. Destroying it would be child's play, and then all that would be left to do was get to Voldemort, and Nagini in the process. And destroy himself too.