June 8th, 2018
Veronica had heard the idea that things always come back to you, even if it's gone out of fashion at one point, but she never knew how true it was until she, her mother, and everyone else were raiding gas stations for old state and nation road maps since they hadn't had a signal on phones for weeks, neither the will to turn them back on.
Apparently, most gas stations had stopped carrying these items probably years ago, but since Veronica had never needed to wonder about it, she honestly couldn't say.
It wasn't until they found a little non-descript and non-chain gas station up in the literal boondocks of the New York woods, that probably looked like an apocalyptic movie set years before the world actually even ended, that they found some.
And everyone gave a sigh of relief.
"You know how to use that, right?" Veronica whispered to her mother, who was opening them and tracing highways with her fingernail.
Hermione gave a scoff, "I grew up before phones and the internet, mija," She said, "How do you think I got anywhere as a teenager?"
So yay, the adults had some sort of roadmap. It became clear, though unspoken, to the teens that they weren't going to Chicago, mostly because Nick swore he caught a road sign with a fork between Chicago and Cincinnati and the two-car caravan chose the latter. So far, the van hadn't crapped out on them, but they all agreed they should find something else before they made it too far out.
"Ooh, maybe we could find a tour bus! That would be comfortable!" Josie said, a grin lighting up her face, "And maybe they'd have singing equipment…oh, lordy, I miss singing."
"What about an RV?" Archie asked, a bit more realistic.
"What's your offer, Elio?" Joaquin asked, recoginzing he was the odd-man-out and probably had a good amount of sympathy towards that.
"A limo," Elio said, straight-faced. It was unsure for a moment if he was serious until he gave a tiny crack of a grin, and everyone in the back dissolved into giggles.
"How about a clown car, because that's how it feels driving around five teenagers around in the back. Dios mio," Hermione said, tapping on the barrier and rubbing her head.
"We should be happy to hear them laughing," Smithers said, who had become an instant grandfather to everyone here, "I feared the world would never hear the likes of that again."
Veronica also was not sure where exactly they were. Certainly not New York anymore. The more distance that was put between her and the nightmarish state, the better she felt. She thought she'd have a clawing sadness about leaving the only state home she'd ever known, but the apocalypse had washed her hands of having any lingering fond feelings towards it. All she would ever think of when she thought of New York was that that was the place her father died and she was so mean to him before it went down.
She didn't know exactly how to live with that guilt. She didn't know if it was fair or right for her to be feeling this way, not when everyone was going through hard times. She wasn't sure if her father deserved someone to be mourning over him like she was, compared to all the shitty things he'd done. She wasn't sure how to forgive herself, because she'd never forgiven herself about anything else either. Veronica was one that carried her shame inside her forever. But this shame? She worried sometimes it was too big to fit quietly.
Mostly, in the nights, when everyone else (sans the watcher) was asleep, she felt this self-hatred fall over her. It was a mixture of anger towards herself that even in death, her father still had her actions controlled like a puppet on a string. It was loneliness, that she would never find someone who matched her level as her father had. It was sadness, about all the times she'd ignored him or opted to do something else instead of spend time with him.
Elio gave advice after finding her wide-awake one night because it seemed he was working through similar things.
"You loved him. That matters you know. And when you think of the end of the world, did anything he did really make a difference? Would people be better or worse off, or did maybe this wipe his slate clean?" She knew he was theorizing about his father's own actions, "It seems like it's not the time or place to be…caught up the morality of actions that don't even exist on the metaphorical table anymore."
Well, at least Elio was closer to finding peace than she was.
The point being, Veronica had no clue what state they were in, or where they were going. Whenever any of the kids asked, Hermione would say Texas. When pressured as to why Texas, she would reply, "I have some old contacts down there, some that hopefully will take us in."
And they believed it. Why shouldn't they? Veronica did remember going down there as a child to meet some old friends of her mother's, so yes, that seemed readily within the realm of possibilities.
Until…
As usual, Veronica couldn't sleep. She watched everyone else drift off so effortlessly and wished she could have an ounce of whatever chemicals in their brains allowed them to just shut it all off.
Most nights, she curled up in her Peppa the Pig Sleeping Bag. They'd found exactly enough at a rundown Walmart somewhere, maybe, in Pennsylvania. They'd all done rock-paper-scissors for picks. Veronica had been the last pick. Not that the other choices were better; Spiderman, The Avengers, or Ariel were other preferred bags. At least it was comfortable. She yearned for a real bed. She told herself that if she just had a mattress, then she'd sleep.
She knew it was a lie.
Archie laid out his Captain American - second pick, might she add - next to hers, always. And he snored. She also argued and said maybe if Archie was quieter, then she could sleep.
But truthfully, even if all those things were perfect, she doubted that with her mixed emotions any slumber would come her way.
So, she would just lay there, her sleeping bag pulled up to her chin, screwing her eyes shut and begging herself to go to sleep. She'd count sheep. She'd sing songs mentally in her head. She'd try to re-preform her most boring presentations. And she'd maybe grab an hour, but it was never enough.
She also knew that soon, if she didn't fix this, something would go wrong. Her body would fight and she'd catch a cold or she'd make a stupid mistake.
Tonight, she had every intention of doing what she always did, until she realized that all the adults were suspiciously missing. They must have all snuck away once they assumed everyone else was asleep. They were, sans Veronica.
She slowly lifted her sleeping bag and crept out of it, crawling over the squished van flooring to the open air of the parking lot they'd decided to camp in. Xander said this was best; good vantage for if anyone was going to come their way, Cannibal or human. Surprisingly, they hadn't come across many non-Cannibal humans. The only pair they'd seen were two raiding the same Walmart where they'd gotten their sleeping bags. The couple had nodded at them and they'd gone their separate ways, allowing each other to raid in peace.
The adults were far behind the other car, sitting together on the ground. Veronica snuck to listen. She wondered if it was just a relaxation/decompression time for them. If maybe they were passing around some alcohol and trying to find ways to laugh. Somewhere, she hoped that's all it was.
"-and I don't even know if there's anyone in Texas left to find!" She caught the tail end of her mother's hushed, frantic whisper.
"My family is very poor. They would not be able to accommodate everyone and I would not wish that burden on them," Smithers added in a long, weary tone, "And I have little ideas where they'd be now."
"Everyone we knew was in New York City…" Simone's voice trembled, "One of those kids will figure it out, Hermione. They're not dumb. They'll realize soon enough that we don't have any answers either!"
"I wish I could get into my phone, the internet," Xander kicked something, "Damn it all! I have a website saved on the vacation homes of friends. I never thought I'd have to…" He inhaled sharply, "We always did everything to give Nick a better life. Hermione, we're failing him."
"Just as I'm failing Veronica right now," Hermione agreed, and Veronica could hear the quiver in her voice. The fear. The sense of vulnerability that she didn't let anyone else see during the day when she was making choices and decisions.
"So are we just going to drive until we hit California?" Simone murmured.
"No," Hermione gave a weak laugh, "Calofironia is likely worse than New York. But honestly…I don't know. Hiram was so gung-ho about Chicago, but even there is likely just as bad."
"Big cities seem to be a dangerous option," Smithers agreed, "I suppose it comes down to the question…do we hope the world turns itself over and rights itself, so we should be near others, or do we accept that this world has become very cutthroat."
"The world has always been cutthroat," Xander gave a dismissive sound in the back of his throat, "We were just on top of it before all this."
"I think what Smithers means is…" Hermione paused and Veronica could imagine her wringing her hands as she did when she was thinking through something, "Do we think that humans have gotten better or worse with all this happening? Do we need to become violently secluded?"
The silence told Veronica, and Hermione, enough. Deep down, Veronica wanted to hope this brought out the best in people, but with a sense of dread and angriness about humanity, Veronica knew.
She heard the adults get up, "We should go back to check on the kids," Xander said with a soft, loving tone, as though he were talking about a group of toddlers.
Veronica scurried back into her sleeping bag, wondering the same thing her mother was no doubt also musing…where was their end goal now?
June 9th, 2018
For the first time since her father had been killed, Veronica slept. And she slept well.
With the morning came a good night's sleep clarity. The sort that made her take action and stand up for her thoughts and feelings, something she hadn't done much of late.
As everyone sat on their rolled-up sleeping bags eating their pre-portioned bags of oatmeal, Veronica cleared her throat.
"I think we all should have a chat."
Most people looked at her curiously, surprised to see her speak in such a dominant tone, so different than her behavior of late. Her mother, though, narrowed her eyes. She understood that tone quite well.
"About…?"
"Where the heck we're going," Veronica sipped her oatmeal like she was drinking soup. Utensils were scarce and she'd learned that you didn't use one unless you had to, "I went to use the bathroom last night and well, the adults haven't exactly been honest."
"Veronica," Her mother warned, setting down her breakfast.
"What do you mean?" Nick asked, scowling at his parents, ready to believe Veronica.
"They have no idea where we're going. They have no plans. They don't know if we can connect with anyone. We're driving without any set location at all right now." Veronica said, "I don't think this is fair to us. We're all nearly adults. And honestly? With all this shit going on? We're basically grown-ups now." She said.
"Yeah," Dilton gave a muttered agreement. He, out of all of them, had some baby fat so still looked to be about thirteen, and sometimes Veronica even found herself babying him. But she had to remember that he was actually older than her. None of them were literal children.
"Is this true?" Archie asked, looking at Hermione with a worried look, "I mean, I got that Chicago was off the table, and I'm not mad, but…" he gulped, "Doesn't it seem more…likely? To have a goal?"
"We cannot be sure of anything," Hemrione rolled up her sleeves, indicating she was about to lay some truth down. At least it was an honest conversation, "We like to think your mom is in Chicago. But we're worried any popular states or big cities are completely cannibalized. And I know that Jughead's family was on Spring Break in Arizona, so that's likely where he and FP will be headed. But that's if they made it out. Gladys Jones doesn't have opinions of me, and if she did, she would hate my guts, so I doubt she'll welcome us with open arms if FP isn't there," She said, "Riverdale is bust. All of us have exhausted our ideas. We surely know people, but unless we can be absolutely sure that they'd even be there, it seems silly to put all our hope in one basket. Does anyone know someone who was a prepper? If we had that, I'd be fairly certain they'd be hiding out."
There was a moment of hope, and everyone looked at Dilton. He laughed, "I was the odd sheep out. I might have grown up to be a doomsday prepper, but none of my family believed that." He gave a sharp laugh, "Look at 'em now."
Everyone groaned.
"Then why isn't here as good as anywhere?" Joaquin motioned around them, "What exactly are we looking for?"
There was a long pause, then Hermione sighed, "Perhaps Veronica is right. Maybe we should all talk about that. If you have to live there too…" She gave her daughter a soft smile, "It would be fair."
They spent the next few hours, longer than they usually would take before departing again, going through and throwing ideas back and forth of what they were hoping for in a house. It seemed that a general consensus, or the ideas that came up most commonly, were:
Privacy from others and from each other Beds Something that could be easily protected (Lodge Lodge, for example, while had woods, was too in the thick of it to be able to do much) Somewhere in a place not too populatedOther than that, the requests were negotiable or singular to one person. Like Archie would really like somewhere to play sports, like a basketball hoop. And Josie would like a place that had some soundproofing so she could sing again. And Simone wanted somewhere not too moist, as her hair texture was horrid when there was too much water in the air.
What did Veronica want, when prompted?
"Somewhere safe. Somewhere we all can just relax." She said.
She was not the same girl who needed a shoe closet as big as a bathroom, or thirty dresses all in the same sort of shade, or a tub that could fit a football team. At this point in her life, all Veronica wanted was to not feel like she was looking over her shoulder every moment of every day.
They spread out a map of the US and picked a general location of Idaho. It was surely out of the way of others and had places that could make good vantage points to be on the lookout. If they could make it without some crazy westerner shooting them dead, it might be an ideal location. Of course, they agreed that if they found somewhere better along the way, they could elect to stay, but they'd go no further west than the famous Potato state.
"Feel better now that we have a plan?" Hermione asked semi sarcastically as everyone loaded back up the van to leave.
Veronica gave a sweet smile, "Very much, mother."
"I thought I heard you last night," Hermione narrowed her eyes, "Veronica?"
"Yes?" Veronica said as her mother pulled her around to the front of the car.
"I am trying to keep you all alive. It falls to me now. You understand that, right?" She asked.
"Of course," Veronica knit her eyebrows.
"Then you'll undstand when I tell you this," Her mother said in a tone that terrified her. Never had her mother invoked the sense of her father so accurately before. It sent shivers down Veronica's spine as her mother's flint-cold eyes narrowed in on her, "Never pull something like that again."
Veronica swallowed hard. Her mother's grip was firm on her arm.
"Do you understand?" She demanded verbal acknowledgment. Veronica, who at one point may have laughed and said that her mother was taking herself too seriously, felt the seriousness of this in her bones. And she did realize that accosting her mother like that at breakfast had been childish. Productive, but still childish.
Veronica lowered her chin, "I understand, mom."
Hermione let her arm go. The warmth returned to her eyes and she kissed the top of Veronica's crown.
"Good. Pack up, let's keep moving."
June 15th, 2018
The van gave its last puff, whine, and purr in Sparta, Ohio. Luckily, it crapped out near a strip mall, leaving everyone scratching their heads about what the next plan should be. It wasn't the worst fate. After Malachai, they knew they'd eventually need to swap it out. And, it wouldn't be terrible to change the car that Xander and Nick were driving. It was a Prius, and while it got great gas mileage and had surprisingly more storage than Veronica would first assume, they'd been conservative when raiding places to only take what they needed right, then, due to the space confinements. It would be nice to be able to plan ahead a bit more.
"Well, Xander and I will go search for a new option. Smithers, you're in charge," Hermione said.
"Is it wise for both of you to go?" Nick pointed out.
Hermione frowned, "Right. Nick, you come with me. I need another driver. Smithers is still in charge."
Veronica was a little disappointed her mother had not chosen her. Then again, after the threat she'd given Veronica, perhaps it was better they let things simmer down a bit.
After she left, everyone took stock of their surroundings.
"Hey! A mattress store!" Archie said, pointing excitedly like a toddler eager to show his mother something.
"Oh, sweet Jesus," Josie whispered with a grin, "Maybe we can actually sleep on a real mattress tonight?"
"We should maybe wait until Hermione returns-," Smithers began to say, but even Xander was with the kids.
"I'm sure that your back has been killing you. You're older than me and I can't remember the last time I woke up without a crick somewhere since this whole damn thing started," He began to fast-walk toward the store, "If there is a Temprapedic mattress to be found, it's mine."
"We had a thousand-dollar mattress at home," Simone explained, "And we're glad to be alive, but well, I do miss my creature comforts."
"Looks empty. Whew." Archie said, smudging the dusty glass and peering inside.
"They locked it up. Probably just another day shutting down the store and then the next day they just…never went back." Joaquin said, tapping the lock with a finger, "How weird."
"No weirder than us. Think of all the things we just left unfinished, halfway, assuming we'd get back around to it tomorrow," Elio said with a shrug.
"No, no, stop it," Josie shuddered, "Don't make me think about all the half-written songs I'll probably never remember the melodies to! Ugg!"
"Looks simple enough," Dilton said, examining the lock. "I think I saw someone teach you how to open this on-,"
"The lockpicking lawyer?" Joaquin finished with a wry grin, "Yeah, I saw that one too, man." He turned around, "Either of you got a hairpin?" He pointed his question to the three girls.
"Here," Elio said, fishing one out of his pocket.
Joaquin took it with a slightly confused frown, "Uhm, thanks, man."
"I was using it as a bookmark, but I just finished 'Paradise Lost'," He said, holding up his hands.
"Whatever. Mind if I borrow it later?" Joaquin said as he started jimmying the lock, "The book, that is?"
"Shouldn't you be focusing?" Archie asked, "On opening it?"
"It's a town of like 600 people. It's not even a modern lock. So," The lock clicked open, "No, absolutely not."
Just as they were opening the doors, coughing as the dust sprung up and assaulted their faces, there was a squealing down the street.
"Oh, no, are we going to have to fight someone? For this? For our lives?" Archie groaned, but found a broken bottle on the ground and picked it up with a heavy sigh. The car, the only one on the streets, squealing towards them, was a Ford with a covered truck-bed. Simone just gave a chuckle.
"Nope, that's our Nicky. I bet it's stick-shift," She hit her hustband's arm, "I always told you to teach him!"
"Time kind of got away from us," Xander sputtered, motioning to everything around them. Veronica shared a small smirk with everyone else; it was nice to know that the perfect, pretentious Nick St. Clair had some faults, even stupid ones like the inability to drive a stick shift, which she doubted anyone else here had.
"Awe shit man," Josie said with a sigh, covering her eyes against the sunlight and peering down the road behind the truck, "I owe you invisible money or something," She said.
"Wait, why?" Archie asked.
"It's an RV," Joaquin replied, pointing to where her mother was driving up, "At least we won't be cramped like sardines anymore." He added with a shrug.
Hermione was, at first, frustrated at them for opening the store, though Veronica felt like it might be in fear more than true anger. However, after showing her that it was literally untouched, and likely had been for nearly a month, her anger lessened.
"I suppose we can spend the night here."
The group swarmed the store, acting like it was a military take-over.
"I'm hitting up the break-room! I'm praying for some snacks," Josie announced.
"I'm so with you," Dilton said, and they peeled toward the back.
"I just need a goddamn normal bathroom, even if the plumbing isn't working," Xander grumbled, taking off one way.
Veronica turned to see what Joaquin was planning, but the quiet and elusive Southsider had already vanished.
"I'm going to go exploring," Elio said, "Veronica?" He offered hesitantly, extending an arm.
"We should see if there's anything worthwhile to bring," Hermione said, and Veronica only caught a glimpse of Archie's face, but it was a little upset.
Good.
Veronica spent the better part of the afternoon creeping through every inch of the very large store to find things that could be used in their new life as semi-vagabonds. Like a full knife set. That was useful. Or a first-aid kit near the check-out registers.
"Someone was self-medicating," Elio said, breaking open a lockbox near the register where there were many bottles of Oxy.
"Well, good for us," Veronica said, closing the box with the intention to bring it back to her mother. So far, Elio hadn't tried anything sexual. Of course, everyone was under the impression she and Archie were still a thing. Maybe he picked up on their lack of or their difference in PDA. Maybe he was just asking as a friend…they had gotten closer since Hiram had died. No one else could understand what they both went through. Even if everyone else's dads (sans Nick) were gone, it didn't mean they were dead or that any of them had to witness that.
As the day started to yawn and close its eyes, letting dawn slip into the space it left, Veronica sat in front of a pile of books she'd found. They were mostly stupid, model-house books, but a few could be winners. And she was desperate for things to do besides sleep, play Charades or any other stupid game in the car.
"Hey, V…" Archie murmured quietly, tilting his head, indicating for her to follow him.
She gathered the books that didn't seem mind-nubmingly boring and followed Archie to a very private and quaint setup of a bedroom.
"This bed…it's really comfortable," He said, running his hand over the gingham downblanket. It was a country model house. Not really Veronica's style, though.
"It…is?" She was unsure what this was supposed to lead to. Was he being nice and offering it to her? Was he just making small talk?
"I was thinking, maybe, we could sleep here…together…" He said quietly, knitting his eyebrows together. The offer took her off guard slightly.
"As in…" She pursed her lips, "Archie, there are literally hundreds of beds here. No one would think it strange for you and me to sleep alone." She said.
Archie sighed, pacing a bit in front of the bed, "I don't want to. I want you to sleep with me. In the bed." He said, "Do you know what I mean?"
Luckily, Veronica had much experience decoding Archie's vagueness. A flare of hope lit inside her heart.
"I think I do."
Archie's face relaxed into a pleased grin, "Good."
"It's not just because you're jealous of Elio, right?" She thought to check.
"No, no," Archie groaned, "I mean, I didn't like it, but it's not entirely that." He pulled back the covers, "Just, let's get settled and explain."
From the sounds of it, the lack of shuffling and moving, it seems everyone else had found somewhere to sleep. Smithers was on Watch 1 tonight, and if she moved to the partition, she could see him sitting with a gun near the re-locked doors. It was early, but then again, everyone was exhausted and perhaps the allure of sleeping in a real bed was just too good to pass up.
Veronica shimmied out of her clothes, stuffing them in her duffle bag of clothes. She was just in a tank and underwear, though that wasn't weird.
Unlike the nights at Lodge Lodge, where Archie had attempted to keep a respectable distance away, his large hands found the small of her back and pulled her closer to him.
"I'm an idiot, V," He whispered, shaking his head.
"Yes, about many things, but what this time?" She asked with a purr of laughter.
"I shouldn't have broken up with you. I think I forgot something."
"Oh?"
"Seeing you stand up to your mom, take action, that's why I feel for you in the first place, you know?" He said, eyes bright, "You always got what you wanted, or helped others, and you just blazed through. I think a bit of that died away and I got scared, but if you really love me, I should know that you'd never let anything happen to me. I wouldn't have gone to jail, your father wouldn't have killed me, and eventually, he would have welcomed me into the family. Because you would have demanded it." He said.
Veronica gave a little laugh, "Yeah, I would have," She agreed.
"I know I have no right to ask, but hell, can we just start over?" Archie asked, and she could feel the nervousness radiating off of him.
"No," She said, but rushed to add, "Not start over. I want to keep everything we've been through. We just…hit pause to get popcorn. We're back now." She said with a relieved smile.
"Oh, thank god," Archie laughed, "You scared me!" His laughter was a bit too loud, so Veronica silenced him with a kiss. It was meant just to quiet him a bit, but he grasped her, responding back with a fevor and a need and something she realized she'd been missing horribly.
She pressed herself against him, fingers clawing on his shirtless back. She pulled back, panting, pulling his hips closer to hers and throwing one leg over his.
"Do you think we should-," She began, hoping he'd give the answer he usually gave.
"Hell, everyone probably thinks that's what we're doing anyway," Archie made a good point, "So let's not waste this. Let's be the horny couple everyone knows we are anyway," He added with a self-aware smile.
Veronica grasped his shorts, feeling like things were finally starting to fall back into place, "Thank god."