WARNING: This chapter is quite dark in some spots. Please continue at your own discretion.
Ch. 3
Waking up the next morning was rough. My body was sore from last night. Getting out of bed was the next trick. Fenrir was still asleep beside me. Finally, I was able to hike myself out of bed and to the bathroom. I put a t-shirt and sweatpants on before heading out to the kitchen. As I walked out to the kitchen, I noticed Penelope was sitting at the kitchen island. She looked as if she had been crying. Her eyes looked puffy and red.
"Pen?" I called out to her as I turned the lights up. "Are you okay?" Penelope sniffed and looked at me.
"I don't know." She replied.
"Did Jax do something to you last night?" I asked her. She shook her head no. I went to take a seat beside her. I sat with her in silence for a while. The house was quiet at 4:30 in the morning. Both men were still sleeping.
"I miss my old life. I don't regret being a werewolf because I really do love Jax. He treats me well and takes me into consideration with everything he does. Before this, I wanted to be a healer and a nurse. The last full moon scared me. I didn't realize just how painful it was until I went through it. Jax helped me through it, but still. I'm just scared and it's still all so new to me." Explained Penelope.
"I don't blame you, Pen. Being a werewolf in today's world isn't an easy task, especially if you try to have a career. Even though I've grown up as one, it doesn't get easier. I don't want to make you feel bad, but I can't lie to you about it. Just know it is very doable. I'm a nurse/healer and I also train horses too. It's hard and exhausting keeping everything in line. Remember this. Do it even if it's hard and don't give it up." I encouraged her. She wiped a couple of tears from her eyes.
"You really are an amazing person. Jax told me a lot about you and I was super excited to meet you. You're much less intimidating than Greyback." She laughed. I laughed with her.
"Go get some more sleep, Pen. I'm going back to bed myself. It's Sunday and I usually try to sleep in later. Go rest up." I told her. She got up and gave me a hug before she headed to the guest room. I headed back to my own room. As I entered, I seen Fenrir was still sleeping. I crawled in and snuggled up to him. His big arm wrapped around me and pulled me in closer to him.
"I heard your conversation with her." He rumbled softly.
"You listened to our conversation?" I asked him.
"You left the door open and I woke up the moment that you crawled out of bed." He smirked. I rolled my eyes at him.
"Of course you did. And I guess today is the day I can finally tell you no." I pulled back and smirked. I felt pretty petty today and Fenrir was going to find out just how petty I could be. He looked back at me and sighed.
"So, I take it you're going to be a petty asshole today, aren't you?" Fenrir asked me. Well shit. He has me figured out. I nodded at him. He leaned down to give me a kiss, but I held my finger to his lips and smirked. "Of course you are." He flopped back, arm still around me. I pulled myself up onto his lap and looked down at him.
"And I've only just begun, my mate" I smirked again. I ground my hips on him, effectively teasing him as I felt his hardness. Fenrir let out a low frustrated growl at me. He regretted making this deal with me.
I carried on with my day. I took Penelope with me to do my daily stuff and to get to know her more. She seemed to feel like she had a better grip on her new reality as a werewolf. I explained to her a lot more about what being a werewolf was like. I put her up on one of my older, more easy-going horses as we took a ride around my land to check everything. As we were riding back to the barn, along the dirt arena, I seen both Fenrir and Jax sitting on the back patio. They looked to be conversing over some coffee. I couldn't help but watch Fenrir for a minute. He looked up and held my gaze with me. It wasn't until Penelope called my name to bring me out of my daze.
"Hey. Hey, Jess. You good?" Pen asked me. I broke my gaze with Fenrir and looked at her.
"Yeah, I'm good." I told her as we kept riding to the barn. I became silent as I began to pull the saddle from the horse I was on. Pen did the same, but I caught her looking at me.
"Do you need something, Pen?" I asked her.
"Jax told me about the dynamic of your relationship with the Alpha. He said that you two have had a pretty back and forth type of thing going on. Jax also mentioned that Alpha is way older than you too, which I think doesn't help matters much. Jax is twelve years older than me and I thought that was a bit harder myself. I can't imagine how you feel being Alpha's mate though. Most others would relish in the chance, but you seem to downplay it a bit. Would you like to talk about it?" said Pen. I leaned against the horse in silence for a couple of minutes before I moved to a hay bale and motioned for Pen to sit. I know I had talked to Molly, Tonks, and Remus about my relationship with Greyback, but other than that, I hardly would talk about it.
"Greyback being much older than me does make things hard. He's almost thirty years older than me, Pen. It makes compromising hard to do as he is quite stuck in his ways. It also doesn't help that he is the Alpha either. He is a very dominant man and he's got a hell of a rap sheet to follow him too. He treats me much better than he does most others, but I'm not immune to the receiving end of him. Deep down, Pen, I love the man. I truly do. He is my mate and I, innately and unconditionally, love him. I don't want to admit to him I do because I don't want to give him more ammunition to use on me." I told her. I could tell she was a little speechless.
"Jax said that the Alpha was known as the 'wizarding world's most savage werewolf". Overall, it seems that he really does care about you. I just became a part of the pack, but the Alpha hasn't been too bad to deal with." Said Pen.
"You don't deal with him behind closed doors, Pen. I'm literally not allowed to tell him no. If he wants something from me or orders me to do something, I'm not to disobey. Granted, I do defy him most days. You wouldn't know, because I don't try to be defiant in front of others. When I am defiant with him, he tends to lose his temper and the Alpha in him really shows up. And…" I became silent. Fenrir really had done some messed up things to me over the years. I felt Pen's hand stroke my shoulders and pull me in for a hug.
"He makes you do things when you don't want to. You don't have to tell me anymore if you don't want to, but I would recommend you talk to him though." Said Pen. I told her everything I had told those closest to me. Pen was a genuine person. I needed to get a bit more off my chest. I told her about some of the things Fenrir did to me, including the night of my seventeenth birthday. I could tell she was horrified and sad at the same time. We finished up in the barn and headed up to the house. Jax and Pen were set to go back to the pack and would visit often. Jax kept the peace and things running smoothly with the pack, so it would have been best if he was there. This left me alone with Fenrir. At least with someone here, it helped offset some of his more undesirable behaviors.
I sat at the kitchen island to do some work for the family business. I felt a presence behind me and a large hand stroke my neck. Normally, I would have pulled away, but I remained in place. Fenrir pulled my hair aside and he leaned down to my mark. He placed a gentle kiss to it, causing me to shudder. He continued to kiss it as he reached for my chest. I gently pushed his hand away. Fenrir stopped his kisses to my neck. He looked frustrated and even a little upset. Bravely, I decided to remind him of the deal again.
"Fenrir, I don't want to be touched like that right now. The kiss on the neck was fine, but I just don't want to be touched any other way right now." I told him gently.
"I have all rights to touch you if I want to." Growled Fenrir. He moved to sit beside me now, glaring at me.
"Remember the deal you made with me? I never said no to you once yesterday and you said that if I did that, I could tell you no for a whole day without repercussions." I told him, keeping my voice even and calm so I don't start something that would not end well. I folded my arms and held his gaze. I wasn't challenging him but was simply holding him accountable. He folded his arms and leaned back in his chair as well. His gaze was as hot as a hot iron. After a few minutes, he finally sighed and shook his head.
"Fine. May I ask why you don't want me to touch you then, baby girl?" He asked.
"I just don't want to be touched at this moment, Fenrir. No, I'm not being petty or trying to be difficult. Sometimes I just don't want to be touched. It's not to punish you or anything. It's part of having boundaries, which is hard to have with your mate." I spoke. Fenrir watched me with his arms still folded. It was as if he was wanting me to continue. I took a breath and continued.
"Just because I'm saying no now, doesn't mean I'm going to tell you no the next time. Have you ever heard about 'love languages', Fenrir?" I asked him. He shook his head no.
"Love languages are how you receive or give love. It's what makes you feel loved. Not everyone has the same one. I don't talk much about my dad with you, but this was something he taught me. I have a book he gave me that explains them well, but I'd have to do some digging to find it. There are five love languages. They are quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, and physical touch. Dad taught me these not too long before he was killed. He thought they were worth a try for me to use with you. For example, Dad loved receiving quality time and loved giving acts of service. I love receiving quality time and love giving acts of service. From what I've just told you, what would you say yours are?" I asked Fenrir. He looked at me and seemed to be thinking.
"I would say I prefer to give and receive physical touch, love. As you can tell." He smirked.
"Now if I was to touch you negatively, constantly or anytime I seen you, would you feel loved?" There I finally said it. I stopped the man in his tracks. There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. He stared at me with a perplexed look.
"What do you mean, baby girl?" Fenrir asked. I breathed in and took a moment to gather what I wanted to say. I trembled a little bit, not knowing how he was going to react.
"Remember how terrified I was of you after you took my virginity on my seventeenth birthday? Remember how I would shy away from you after that one argument we had when I was twenty when you ended up doing some brutal things to me? Remember how I usually tense up when you touch me? It's because you did and still do horrible things to me. Granted you have never hit me or laid a hand on me like that, but you have literally raped me so many times, Fenrir! Not just once or twice, but many times! Deep down, I want to be touched and held by you, but I'm torn by it because of the shit you've done to me and the innate fact that you are me mate!" I told him. Tears began to run down my face as I looked him in the eyes. I hated crying in front of him, but this was on a whole different level. I felt the walls I've built up against him slowly start breaking. I turned away from him, put my face in my hands, and silently cried. I felt Fenrir bring his hand up to my back, but he paused and pulled it away.
"Baby." He softly spoke. I looked up at him. He stood up and pulled me into an embrace. I didn't resist and cried into his chest. His arms pulled me tighter against him, his head rested on top of mine. I put my arms around him and held him.
"I may do terrible things to others and to you, but it doesn't mean that I don't love you, baby girl." I heard him tell me. I pulled back and looked up at him.
"I never imagined having a mate until the first time I met you. I instantly knew and knew I had to wait many years before I could have you. When I could finally have you, I couldn't control myself and haven't since." He told me.
"How many years did you wait?" I asked him, wiping away some tears.
"I waited thirteen years for you." He spoke.
"Thirteen years? How could you wait for so long?" I asked him.
"I just simply waited. Granted I did fuck around with some other women during that time, but I'm a man who has needs too. A hand can only do so much. It wasn't as enjoyable as you would think because it wasn't you, but I wasn't about to mess it up just to have you any sooner than when you became of age. That's why when you turned of age, I had no control, nor could I have. My instincts wouldn't let me say no and wait any longer. I needed my mate. By then, the wolf in me had fully taken over and I had been the Alpha of my pack for all those years as well. I'm not used to being told no by anyone anymore." Continued Fenrir. His hand pulled back my hair behind my ear. I leaned into his hand as it cupped my face. Being treated like this was all I wanted from Fenrir. I looked up at him and studied his face. I seen the look of want. He pulled his hand back and sat back in the bar stool. Before I could have stopped myself, I got up from my chair and moved closer to him. I took him by surprise as I moved closer to his face. When he realized what I was doing, Fenrir smiled and leaned down to me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. His arms wrapped around my lower back and he lifted me up. He walked us over to the couch and sat us down. He pulled from the kiss and moved his lips to my neck. I pulled my head to the side for him. Suddenly, he pulled away. I looked at him in shock.
"Tell me you want me, baby girl." He ordered me.
"Yes, daddy." I replied. His hand snaked up to my neck and took hold of it gently, stroking it with his thumb as he did so. I held his gaze.
"Use your words." He ordered.
"I want you, daddy." I told him. He smiled at me and pulled me against him. His mouth was by my ear.
"That's my girl." He crooned as he nipped my ear. "But if you want daddy to please you, you get to wait until tomorrow." I groaned as he told me that. Secretly, I wanted more this time. He placed another kiss below my ear and pulled back. He chuckled at me and released me. I got up and went back to my work at the kitchen island again. Fenrir picked up the Daily Prophet and began to read it. The bastard was just as petty as me.
~Flashback~ Christmas Eve, 5 years ago~
I had just watched Lucian deliver the fatal blow to my father. He struck my father directly in the chest with a knife Lucian continued his attack on my father. He swiped the knife and successfully disemboweled him as well. It was brutal to witness. I felt helpless. I was heavily injured myself and couldn't reach my wand quick enough. Finally, I reached my wand and sent some powerful spells at Lucian which drove him off. It hurt to crawl, but it didn't matter to me. I tried shaking my father awake but it was futile. He was gone. I heard the footfalls of the others as I held my father and sobbed.
"Bobby, go summon Greyback. We may need his reinforcements if Lucian and his pack should return." I heard Michael say. Michael tried to pull me from our father, but I pulled away. He backed off. I heard the familiar sound of a crack from someone apparating close by. I continued to hold my father and bawl. I was unconsolable.
"What happened here?" I heard the familiar, booming voice of Greyback. I didn't care that he was here. The one person who was such a big part of my world was gone.
"Lucian and his pack attacked us. There's been at least fifteen casualties, including our father, our Alpha." Said Michael. I heard Greyback tell Bobby to summon Jax and to have him bring some of the men with him. I listened as I heard Bobby disapparate. Greyback's boots creaked as he walked towards me. The snow crunched underneath them. I heard him kneel beside me and felt his large hands on me. He began to pick me up and I fought against him, holding tight to my father.
"Baby girl, let him go. He's gone. You're hurt badly and we need to get you out of this cold." Greyback told me. I looked up to see Michael helping pull me from our father.
"Jess, I'll take care of dad. You need to get checked out." Michael told me. I nodded and finally let go. Greyback pulled me into his arms and began to carry me to the house. I felt numb. I couldn't speak. I could hardly feel anything from the shock and the cold. Greyback pulled me into the house and set me on the kitchen counter. Greyback began to look me over for wounds and injuries. He pulled what was left of my coat from me only to find some larger lacerations. I looked up at him finally. Greyback looked concerned.
"You need to be seen, love. You're looking quite rough. What happened tonight?" Asked Greyback. I hardly wanted to talk as I was still in such shock. I needed to tell him. Greyback, along with my brothers, were my only protection at this time.
"Lucian and his pack attacked us, unprovoked. I was checking the land with dad when Lucian decided to attack us both. Dad and I were winning the battle until he pulled a knife on us. He got dad with the knife and it brought him down. Then he came after me. He got me with the knife and kicked me in the right knee then I collapsed. He was about to finish me when dad had stopped him. They fought a while longer before he delivered the fatal blow to dad. I was finally able to reach my wand and drove him off." I choked out. I cried hard. Greyback grabbed my face.
"Baby girl, we need to get you to St. Mungo's. Come." Said Greyback as he lifted me up again. Bobby and Michael came into the house now and heard Greyback tell them I needed to go to the hospital. They came with us.
Getting admitted to the hospital was not my plan. I just wanted to go home. We had so much to take care of and it was stressing me out to be there. They had to stitch a lot of my wounds and found that Lucian had partially torn the ACL in my right knee. The doctor wanted to keep me overnight just to be safe and I wouldn't need to have surgery. Luckily, werewolves healed way faster than normal humans. Greyback and Bobby stayed with me.
The next morning, they released me from the hospital. Even though I wanted to be home last night, I caught myself dreading returning and facing the reality of what had happened. Everything felt like a blur. I was spaced out. It wasn't until we were all sitting at the table discussing what to expect going forward and Michael had addressed me.
"Jess? You good?" asked Michael. I sat silently as I felt the eyes of Michael, Bobby, Jax, and Greyback look upon me. I folded my arms and looked at each of them.
"You want the truth or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?" I asked him.
"Preferably the truth." Michael chided. I raised my brow. The thing with us Eastin siblings was that if you picked truth, you better be ready for the mic to be dropped.
"I literally just watched our father, who happens to be our Alpha, get brutally murdered and almost get killed in the process myself and you ask me if I'm good? It hasn't even been twenty-four hours, and I have to sit here at this table and discuss what the bloody hell we are supposed to do! I haven't even begun to process what I had just went through and witnessed! It's fucking Christmas and instead of having us all together, we're trying to figure out a funeral and what the bloody hell we are going to do!" I raised my voice at Michael. I felt a shift in the room. Even Greyback shifted in his chair beside me. With dad gone, Michael was left to oversee the remains of our pack. Michael was dad's beta. He was not officially named Alpha yet, but I wouldn't doubt that it would be soon.
"We need to figure this out now, Jess. The rest of the pack depends on it and so do we!" Michael's voice raised at me.
"By we, you mean you, Michael. Don't bullshit me. It's because you are in the leadership position of this pack now and you haven't the faintest idea of how to run it!" I stood, my hands hit the table hard.
"That's not true and you know it, Jess!" Michael yelled back and got out of his seat as well. Greyback, Jax, and Bobby became silent as Michael and I stood off with one another.
"You aren't dad and you never will be. You already had planned to leave here for a job you were offered in London. Don't think I didn't know about that. Dad told me just as much as he told you." I seethed.
"Don't put that on me, Jess." Michael seethed back. I pushed away from the table. I headed for the door and slammed it as hard as I could on the way out. I went to the one place that I could be left to mourn and be in my own thoughts in peace. The barn. I sat on a hay bale and cried. I needed to come to terms with everything that had just happened and my brother hadn't helped none. I felt alone. My father was the person I went to for everything and now he was gone. I felt robbed of the happiness in my life. All because Lucian chose to attack us. He and his pack killed half of our pack and our Alpha. I felt a presence sit down beside me. It was Greyback. He was the last person I wanted to deal with at the moment. Without saying a word, all he did was put his arm around me and held me close to him. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I let all the grief out. He pulled my head to his chest and just held me. There was no harm or foul with it. Just him being there holding me close. He kept quiet.
After a good while, I pulled away from him. Greyback kept his arm around me as I sat up. His hand rubbed my back to help soothe me. I had no more tears I couldn't cry anymore. I wiped my face.
"Christmas was dad's favorite holiday. One where all of us in the pack would be together and celebrate. Now we get to plan funerals and shit." I spoke. I wiped more tears away. Greyback's hand continued to stroke my back. We continued to sit in silence. After a while, Greyback finally broke it.
"This may not be the news you want to hear, baby girl, but the boys think it might be best if I take over the position as Alpha for now. Everyone will remain in place and no major decisions will be made until everything settles down. Your brothers are under a lot of stress and grief as well, baby girl." Greyback spoke, his arm holding me close to him. He was right. It wasn't the news that I wanted to hear, but I was content with it.
"Thank you. It does mean a lot to me that you are willing to help us." I told him. Greyback leaned down and kissed the top of my head. He pulled me in closer to him.
"Just know this old man would do anything for his little mate."
~End Flashback~ Christmas, Present~
Greyback had been gone since before Halloween. He briefly came back for Thanksgiving but had been summoned away immediately again before he even pulled his boots off. I enjoyed having the house back to myself and getting to come and go as I pleased. If I left, however, I did leave him a note telling him where I had gone and when I would approximately return should he come back. It was Christmas and my brothers had made plans with their own families and such so I was alone. I heard the screech of an owl outside and went to the door. It was Errol, the Weasley's owl. The clumsy thing hit the glass of the door and fell over. He got back up and presented me the letter. After I took the letter, I thanked the owl and gave him a pet. He perched on my deck and waited. Molly had wrote me telling me to come to their place for Christmas and that dinner was served at five in the evening. I wrote her back and told her I would come. I needed to be somewhere and not here, especially because this day reminded me of that fateful day. I gave the owl the letter and went to prepare to leave for dinner that evening.
I opted to apparate to the Weasley's house. Upon entering the house, I seen Molly, Arthur, and their children. I felt such joy when I seen everyone. They had always took me in as part of the family and I loved them for it.
"Jess, my dear, it's so good to see you! Come! Come! Sit down. I'll make you some cider!" exclaimed Molly. She went to fetch that and I got to hug and greet the rest of the family. As she came back with my cup of cider, Harry had come downstairs. It was so good to see the kid doing well. Remus and Tonks arrived shortly after. We had an amazing meal Molly had cooked for us all. After dinner, Remus, Tonks, Harry, and Arthur moved to the living room. The rest of the Weasley had gone about their business. I decided to help Molly out with dishes and clean up. She washed and I dried.
"How have things been, love? I haven't seen you for a while." Asked Molly.
"I've just been going about my business. I had a few training horses come in and been picking up a bunch of shifts up at the hospital. Other than that, I've just been home." I told her. Just as I finished my sentence, I heard Harry mention Greyback's name. I froze at the mention of his name and listened. Harry had reported that Draco Malfoy had threatened Borgin with Greyback and that he would be visiting from time to time and was curious as to who he was. Remus had told Harry about Greyback. The hairs on the back of my neck went straight up. I completely had forgotten about him today and didn't leave my usual note for him.
"Jess? Jess, dear what's wrong?" Molly asked me, concerned. I swallowed.
"They're talking about Fenrir in there. I completely forgot about him today. He hasn't returned since Thanksgiving and I forgot to leave him a note I usually leave to let him know about my whereabouts and time to return should he return before me. I really hope he hasn't turned up yet." I told her, concerned. She gave me a hug and we continued to go about our business.
It was getting late. Remus, Tonks, and I were just about to leave. It was the first night of the cycle and it was the worst night for Remus. The first night of the cycle never bothered me other than it gave me more energy than normal. Remus had become silent and stared out into the tall grass. That concerned me. Remus' instincts never came out unless he sensed danger. I looked out and could not pick up on anything. Suddenly, a fire rushed around the house and Bellatrix Lestrange appeared. We all began to pull our wands out, ready for a fight. Harry broke past us and began to chase after Bellatrix. Ginny followed suit. Remus, Tonks, and I began to fight the Fiendfire. After a grueling battle with the fire, we won and took off into the grass. I ran hard towards the scent of the two teens. I stopped and caught another, more familiar scent too, but I ignored it. Finding those kids was more important than the scent. I heard spells being cast up ahead and caught a visual of the two teens. As I blocked flying spells, I finally reached the teens. Remus, Tonks, and Arthur arrived just after me. The spells stopped flying. I watched as Bellatrix and another death eater disapperated. I heard a low growl behind me and caught the familiar scent again. I turned to see Fenrir in the tall grass. His face looked dark and his eyes were filled with an anger that made me want to hide and run. He mouthed the word 'home' to me and disapperated as well. Normally, I wouldn't fear going home, but this time, I wanted to run. I was truly terrified to face Fenrir after seeing how angry he was.
We went back to the Burrow and they had set it on fire. We all put out the fire and began to use spells to repair the damage. After all was good, I decided it was time to face going home and see what I was walking into. I told everyone goodbye and disapperated to my front door. To my relief, Fenrir had not arrived home yet. I was tempted to run away but I decided that would be worse than facing the man himself. I waited for two hours for him to return but he had not, so I went to bed.
Around one in the morning, I felt a pair of large hands grab hold of me. I was effectively pinned down on my back and forced to look up at Fenrir. His eyes still filled with that same anger I had seen in the tall grass. I shrunk back into the bed as far as I could without trying to struggle with him. His hands pinned my wrists on either side of my head and he was glaring down at me. I remained stone frozen under him, not wanting to provoke him and be in deeper trouble than I already was. I bared my neck to him, hoping against hope that he would release me if I showed him submission. It didn't work. He menacingly growled at me as his face neared mine. I dared not look away from him.
"You had no business being there. Why were you there tonight?" Fenrir growled darkly. Not answering him would have been worse than telling the truth. I held my frightened gaze with him as a spoke.
"I was invited for Christmas. I didn't know there was going to be an attack, Alpha." I told him softly. Hoping that calling him Alpha would help calm him down.
"You could have been killed tonight." His voice was low and strained. Greyback hadn't even bothered to remove his trench coat and boots. I stayed silent. His grip tightened on my wrists. I cried out from the pain of his tightening grip. As I cried out, Greyback's teeth hit the mark on my neck and I screamed out. I felt blood drip from the bite. Surprisingly, he released my hands, but his teeth remained on my mark. I brought my hand to his chest and held it there gently.
"Alpha, please. Please don't hurt me." I whispered, my voice was wavering. It hurt and he didn't stop. Remembering where he kept his wand, I quickly reached in and grabbed it. I hit Greyback with a stunning spell though it wasn't at full force due to the wand being his, but it effectively made him release me. I darted out from under him and ran for the door, his wand still in my hand. I watched as he lunged for me and I bolted for the kitchen. He tore after me. I made the fatal mistake of going behind the kitchen island. Greyback had me cornered now. I held his wand up at him, ready to curse him.
"Fenrir, stop. You are not acting right and I'm not above cursing you with your own wand." I shouted at him. Greyback held up a wand at me. It was my wand.
"Try me, baby girl. Your ass is mine. You don't curse your Alpha or your mate." Greyback raised his voice. If it came down to a duel, it would be interesting with one another's wand. I was able to back myself to the back door and opened it, never lowering Greyback's wand. I slipped out and Greyback followed. I'd rather duel it out outside of the house. I sent a stunning spell at Greyback. He blocked it with ease. Greyback sent a spell back at me. I blocked it successfully but had got hit with Flipendo immediately after. I hit the ground with my back. Before I could pull myself up, Greyback stood over me and pulled his wand from me. He pulled me up harshly and drug me back into the house. He pushed me harshly to the kitchen floor and pulled his trench coat off. I began to crawl away from him, but I was too late. Greyback had pounced and pinned me again. He leaned in and harshly bit my neck again. My flight or fight response kicked in and I began to fight against him with everything I had. Even at full strength, it was no use. He pulled away and had unknowingly loosened his grip on my wrists too much. I pulled my right hand away and punched him as hard as I could so I could get away. I was able to get out of his grip and run for the bedroom. I slammed the door and locked it. I hoped he would calm down and leave the door. I heard a low 'alohomora' behind it and the door opened harshly. I backed away slowly.
"Fenrir, please. What's wrong with you? You've never acted this way before!" I exclaimed. He closed the distance between us and it caused the back of my legs to hit the bed. I turned to dart across the bed when he grabbed my hips and pulled me back to him. He pulled my jeans and underwear down harshly. His hand came down hard on my ass. I yelped and tried pulling myself away. I felt as he pulled his hard member out of his own pants and felt as him use his own saliva to make me wet enough for him to enter me. I struggled and tried to move myself away so he couldn't enter me. It was futile. His arm wrapped around my hips and he slammed into me harshly. I screamed and continued to struggle against him. He held me in place and continued to thrust into me as hard as he could. Tears streamed down my face. Greyback was purely being cruel at this point. His hand wrapped into my hair and he pulled me up so my back was against his unyielding chest. His other hand went to my neck and he began to squeeze. When I gasped for air, he let my neck go. Suddenly he stopped, holding me against him with his hand still around my neck. His face found my neck and he kissed it firmly. I went to struggle again, but I was met with another harsh bite on the neck. Finally, I gave up.
"You forget who I am, baby girl. Consider this your punishment for taking my wand and trying to curse me with it. Now, are we done?" He growled. I remained silent. He grew impatient with me. Greyback pulled my arms behind me and held onto them while he began to thrust harshly again. I didn't want to give in, but I couldn't take this anymore. My knees buckled under me and I was held up by Greyback.
"Stop! Stop! I'm done! Please stop, Fenrir!" I cried. He stopped and leaned over to my neck.
"Good girl. Now let's finish this nicely." He crooned in my ear. I shuddered. I didn't want to continue this, let alone be touched by him, but telling him no would not end well. I simply let him move me where he wanted and kept quiet.
After Fenrir was satisfied and finished, he pulled himself from me and let me go. I pulled myself to my side of the bed and silently cried. I felt his weight beside me as he laid on his back beside me. I heard the rustle of a couple of papers that he was handling. I kept my back to him as I didn't want to see him or even acknowledge him at this point. I was truly terrified of him now. Fenrir set the papers down on the bedside table and turned to me. His arm went to wrap around me and I tensed up. He ignored it and pulled me into his chest. I brought my arms up to try to pry his arm off of me, but I opted to simply hold onto his arm. I began to tear up again.
"Why are you crying, love?" asked Fenrir gently. He pulled me to face him and I didn't fight him over it. I looked at him. My eyes showed the hurt and betrayal I felt.
"Why?" I asked fearfully. "Why did you do that to me? What did I truly do to deserve that? I went over to have a good Christmas with a family who is close to me and was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Then you come home and brutalize me the way you did? Do you truly blame me for grabbing your wand? I was protecting myself from you!" I choked out. I tore my eyes away from him and the tears flowed freely. Fenrir remained still for a long time before his hand came up to my neck and lifted my hair. I shied away again from him, but he continued. He examined the bruises and bites he left all over my neck, collarbone, and shoulder. The hand moved to my face and cupped it. He wiped away the tears and brushed back my hair.
"You could've been killed tonight, baby girl. I would never forgive myself if that happened to you. You see, I've been working for the Dark Lord again. That's why I've been gone. Even though I haven't been home with you for the last few months, I've still kept tabs on you at all times." He spoke. I still trembled in his grip. I looked up at him again.
"Why didn't you warn me that there was going to be an attack on the Weasley family?" I asked him.
"I couldn't tell you because you would've warned them and the Death Eaters would know it was you who did it, being you're my mate. I refuse to have the possibility of the Dark Lord coming after you. That's why I've stayed away recently. He has been utilizing me more again. I was expecting you to stay home for Christmas. The Dark Lord is having us lay low again after that attack." He told me. He paused for a minute, then continued.
"From now on, you will remain here unless I tell you that you may leave." He spoke sternly. I furrowed my brow at him.
"You cannot hold me hostage here, Fenrir. I will not be a hostage in my own home." I argued. His hand moved for my jaw and he held me in place.
"You will do as I say and that is final! As your mate and Alpha, you will do as you are told, especially when I'm actively involved in this and you are not. This is not a negotiation and there will be no argument, baby girl. This is a direct order." He growled at me. I thought to myself that little did he know I was involved and was a part of the Order of the Phoenix, along with my brothers. My father was a part of it when he was alive. I was not about to reveal that to him yet.
"So, you're really taking my freedom from me?" I choked out. The feelings of betrayal and hurt amplified more.
"I'm sorry that you don't like it, love, but I will not risk your life. You will not argue with me about this." Fenrir told me. With that, I kept silent. Fenrir pulled me into him and he closed his eyes. I couldn't sleep. I fidgeted in his grip.
"Sleep." Fenrir ordered me. I did my best to obey.