Chapter 8: The Aftermath

The sadness I heard in Jacob's usual sunny voice when he finally called me cut me to my core. He'd asked me if I was going to accept or reject the imprint from Sam, and I was honest with him when I told him I was very confused by the entire situation. He kept reminding me he chose me, and I could choose him and end everything with Sam, but I wouldn't commit to that, either. Jake was too upset, and we couldn't have much of a conversation at all before someone took the phone from him and promptly hung up. Even though Sam was waiting inside to give me privacy before taking me back to the car, I opted to walk, and try to clear my head a bit because I was feeling rather overwhelmed.

"It's not safe to walk alone." A familiar voice says, and I glance over my shoulder to see my brother, who easily jogs up to my side to catch up, "Where's Sam? What are you doing out here alone, baby sis?"

"I just... I need... space... Sam..." I stammer

"Where's Sam? There's no way he is going to leave you out here alone, you're his imprint, he can feel you."

"I had taken a phone call, and he was giving me privacy. I was just... out here thinking... and decided to go back to get Leah's car." I ramble as I feel myself shaking and Paul steps closer.

"Hey," He reaches for my arm and stops me, "this is some heavy shit you've been hit with tonight, talk to me."

"You're a wolf."

Paul smiles at me, "Yeah, sometimes."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Bella, we can't. Charlie doesn't even know. Only the elders, the pack, and the imprints of the pack." He explains.

"How does Sam know that he imprinted on me, but Jake didn't?" I ask and Paul frowns.

"Bella, we share a pack mind, we can all see when it happens. We can even feel it. Sam imprinted on you the night of the first bonfire, and that's why I dragged him away that night. We all know you and Jacob are close, and nothing good would have come out of Sam telling you that first night with how close Jacob already was to shifting."

"You haven't felt it with Jacob?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"The only time we can imprint is after we've had our first shift. By the time Jake saw you after his shift, you were already Sam's, and with Jake... it's just different." He explains.

"I'm not Sam's, Paul... I don't belong to anyone." I reply angrily and he pulls me over to sit on a fence.

"It's not a matter of being someone's property, Bella, it's literally the spirits showing us our true mate." He explains, kicking at some rocks beneath his feet as he leans against the fence with me.

"Did Sam imprinting on me before Jake ever shifted take away Jake's ability to do it?" I ask and Paul bristles a bit.

"Sam didn't choose to imprint, it comes from the spirits. Why do you want it to be Jake so much, Bella?" He asks, "I've seen you with Sam, you feel something for him, and Jake has been treating you like a piece of property before he ever shifted. Is that what you want?"

I slide down from the fence and stand shoulder to shoulder with my brother. His warmth is just like Sam's, and I welcome it. I think about Jake, both the little boy I was growing up with, and the young man who eventually found me online when my mother had taken me away. What could have happened if I had just been allowed to grow up here instead of being forced to become an adult before I was ready, just to take care of my nomadic, addict mother?

Why couldn't I have ever been given a choice?

"Jake is the only person who's never stopped looking for me. No matter how many times Renee would move us, or how many miles separated us, Jake was there. He knows every part of my life, Paul, and not just the good stuff I project. I'd been pulling away from him because of how controlling he'd gotten since I moved here, but now I know that behavior could just be because he was about to shift. How can I finally make it back here to him, and then not give him a chance because of this imprint? What if my connection with Sam isn't real and it's just because of some sort of spiritual thing?"

"It's not just some spiritual thing, Bella. It's the only good thing that can possibly come out of this life that was chosen for us." He hisses.

I never thought about it like that.

"You didn't get much of a choice in how your life turned out, either." I finally admit and I see him shrug.

"It's not like I'm some big scholar, I'm not like you or Sam. Being a shifter, serving my tribe, it's the best thing that could have happened for someone like me. Our father is a piece of shit, my mother is a fucking addict, and if it weren't for Charlie, I would have ended up in jail with good ol' Jerome. Did I want to leave the rez and get as far away from this place as I can? Yeah. Can I leave the rez now that I have this obligation to my tribe? No. So believe me when I say that being stuck here for life sounds a whole lot sweeter if you have a true mate here to live it with you."

"Doesn't it feel like you no longer have a choice in your own partner when you imprint? I mean, like having the chance to fall in love organically?"

He glances over at me again, "At first, yeah. Not all imprints work out, and it's not some magic love potion. You just have your eyes opened and you take the time to give it all you have", he shrugs again, "if you truly don't love the person romantically, it doesn't mean you're not meant to have that person in your life in some capacity, even if it's just as friends."

"What happens if I outright reject it?" I ask.

"It's not easy for either party." Paul says quietly, "Don't get me wrong, imprinting isn't some magical love at first sight shit, but it does show us someone we are a perfect match with. Breaking it for cause is already painful enough, but breaking it just because you don't want to give it a chance is hell."

"Would you have still chosen Emily had it not been for the imprint?" I ask and Paul's cinnamon eyes meet mine.

"My being with Emily has absolutely nothing to do with an imprint." He says angrily.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to project my insecurities onto you."

"No, I'm sorry for snapping at you." He shakes his head. The silence that follows is comfortable, and I finally glance up at him.

"Do you know someone who's gone through breaking it?" I ask and he closes his eyes before nodding his head.

"Me."

He goes on to tell me that when he first shifted, he had imprinted on Leah Clearwater. He and Leah had been friends for years, and when the imprint happened, he was pleased. They'd tried to make it work, but Leah realized she was gay, and they knew their imprint would never turn into anything romantic. They'd gone to the elders, who at first were unsupportive of breaking the imprint. Leah was torn, her own father was an elder on the council, and to break the imprint for cause she'd have to come out with her sexuality, something she wasn't quite ready to do. She and Paul put it off, and the longer the imprint remained in limbo, the harder it was for them to live their lives normally. The natural pull of an imprint was there, and they tried to just hang out as friends to quell the ache in their chests, but nothing seemed to work. Because there was absolutely no chemistry between them, they couldn't even try a physical connection, and Leah desperately wanted Paul to be free from her so he could choose someone to love. Once she confessed her secrets to the elders, they performed the ceremony to break the imprint, and it took weeks for Leah and Paul to recover from the loss.

"It hurt so much to be apart when we were still trying to figure it out, and the breaking was awful, but we're both glad we did it. Leah is happy with Jess, and I'm glad the spirits will allow me another chance at true love before my time here is gone." He shrugs.

"You may never imprint again?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"No, and some people never will at all, however the only chance you can have to love someone else is to have the first imprint broken. I consider myself lucky to have gotten it to start with. Emily is great, she understands I was once imprinted to Leah, and she understands that Leah and I will always be close even with the broken imprint." He kicks at the dirt below his boot some more before he finally speaks again, "Sam's a good guy. I know Jake had a lot of shit to say about him before he shifted, but now that you see what Sam's had to deal with since he was sixteen, maybe you can better understand?"

"I am trying to. I can't even imagine having that much responsibility on my shoulders." I admit, "But, Jake is my best friend, and I'm going to break his heart if I don't give him a chance."

"Not to pile it on, but if you don't give Sam a chance it'll be more than a metaphorical broken heart."

We start walking again, and for a bit it's in comfortable silence. I think about Sam, the quiet teenager who ended up with the weight of an entire pack on his shoulders at the tender age of sixteen. For five years he's not been able to make any choice for himself that wouldn't benefit the tribe or pack.

"There's something you should know." Paul says as we approach where I left Leah's car, "Sam may currently be the Alpha, but it's Jake's by birthright. Jake won't be able to take a true mate until he also accepts his birthright."

"So, it's impossible for him to imprint until he's Alpha?"

Paul shakes his head, "Alpha's don't imprint. They choose their mate."

I stop walking and Paul reluctantly stops too, turning to me and shoving his hands in his pockets.

"That's why Jake said he was choosing me."

"Yeah." Paul sighs, "So if he chooses you, and takes over as Alpha, that's it. You and he are bonded for life."

"Even with the imprint with Sam?"

"Yeah. But, if you don't break the imprint, it's going to fuck with all of you. You already feel it, don't you?"

"I do." I admit, "I feel an almost physical pull to Sam."

"You two already spend a lot of time talking to each other, and hanging out, why would you fight that?"

"What if none of that is real? What if it's just the imprint?" I ask.

"What if it's not?" He counters, "You can't tell me that you feel nothing at all for Sam. But, at the end of it all, it's your choice. You can still choose Jake."

"Why would you tell me all of this?"

"Because you deserve to know all the facts. You're my family, pack or not, and I love you baby sis. I also hope that with all of this out in the open you'll make an informed decision. Please just give Sam a chance before you go with the easier choice."

I'm shocked at Paul's direct honesty, and the seriousness of the conversation. He shifts his weight from foot to foot uncomfortably, but he doesn't avert his eyes from mine. I can tell he's waiting for some sort of acknowledgment of what he's said, and I eventually nod once, and he hands me a set of keys.

"I moved the car from the Black's house. Jacob needs to calm down before he can be around you without losing his temper. I'll let Sam know I got you back to Leah's safely." Paul says and I take the keys, and then give him a tight hug.

"Thank you, for everything."

He presses a kiss to the top of my head before resting his chin there, and I eventually break away to get into the car. I watch Paul through my rear-view mirror until he's out of view, and when I get to Leah's I send Sam a text before entering the house.

B: I'm sorry for not coming back. I need some time and space.

I shove the phone back into my pocket before going inside.

Leah had finally been able to talk privately with me, and for the first time since rejecting Paul's imprint and learning about the pack she had someone else to talk about it with. I had an outlet, and someone with firsthand experience on how imprinting worked. She admitted that she had discouraged my initial interest in Sam because she knew Jake would eventually shift, and she had believed it was Sam who had the choice of a mate as Alpha. She had no idea that only Jake as the rightful Alpha was the only pack member who was guaranteed to never imprint, so she was convinced that it would be Jake who imprinted on me when he finally shifted and she didn't want to see anyone get hurt.

Leah knew that I was conflicted with my feelings for Jake and my intrigue of Sam, and she was as blunt as she could be with me when she told me that I needed to give Sam the same chance I'd given Jake when it came to getting to know me.

Even without the imprint, I knew she was right.

The pack was keeping Jake and me apart due to his temper, the young future Alpha was struggling with the knowledge that Sam had imprinted on me. Jake and I were still able to text, but I was quickly learning I didn't like Jake's possessiveness even through text, and when I was finally honest with myself I acknowledged that he'd been this way with me for years. I already knew just from talking to Paul and Leah that it was incredibly hard for a wolf, especially one that was acting as Alpha, to be away from an imprint. More so with an imprint who's yet to accept, and yet Sam continued to be patient and kind. He and I were still getting to know each other without any pressure, he remained busy, but he'd make time for me, and we talked every night before bed.

I'd just disconnected my call with Sam when I heard something at my bedroom window. When I went to investigate, I found Jake balancing on the large tree in our yard.

"Can I come in?" He asks when I open, and I nod before moving out of the way so he can jump in. I watch as he jumps in silently and lands with ease, and for a minute I'm insanely jealous of his abilities.

He holds his arms out and I fold into him, "I've missed you." I murmur.

"Ditto." He replies.

We sit down on my bed, and Jake's nervous energy is almost overflowing, "I'm not supposed to be here, but I'm tired of them telling me what to do."

"Jake, how's this been for you?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"I wish someone had of told me the legends were real. I've been pissed, especially at my dad since he's always known. He's had those assholes watching me for weeks now. Someone could have said something."

"I'm sorry Jake."

He moves closer and puts his hand on my leg, "How long have you known about this wolf thing?"

"I didn't know anything until the night you shifted."

"You didn't know about the imprint?" He asks and I shake my head. His eyes are dark and narrowed when he speaks again, "What about when I found you talking to Sam that first night?"

"I had literally just met him. Paul introduced us, and then he and Jared both left me with him." I shrug.

"So, you wanted to talk to him before you knew about that fucking imprint?" He asks and I scoot slightly away from him.

"Yes. He and I had been texting and talking on the phone before I knew about any of this."

"Why?" He asks. His voice has an edge to it, and his face is hard. I watch the tremor in his body, and I tense. This is the first time I've ever feared Jake.

"Jake, I know that you and Sam weren't friends before, but now that you know what he was dealing with this entire time does it help you to understand the way he's acted?" I ask quietly.

"He imprinted on you." He growls lowly.

"He couldn't help it, and he's giving me time to make a decision."

"That's what he wants you to believe, Bella. He wants you to think that you two have this connection, but he's just keeping you from me. I can make my own choices, I can choose who my mate is because I'm the real Alpha, not him." He replies.

"Jake, I want to get to know Sam-"

"Bella break the imprint, please." He pleads, and for a moment he's just my Jake again, taking me back to the night he spent pleading with me over the phone to let Phil pay for a paternity test when he'd discovered that Jerome Lahote was likely my father.

Back when there was nothing at all tying me to La Push other than it being the place my mother and I once lived before life got too crazy.

"I can't do that." I whisper.

"Why not? I've known you my entire life. It's always been us. Jake and Bells. I've waited for you. There's no way you don't feel something for me."

"I'm not denying feeling something for you, but I also feel something for Sam, and these feelings are different." I try to explain but he shakes his head.

"Fine. I'll just take over as Alpha, and then I will order him to break the fucking imprint!" He shouts and I move farther away from him.

"Jake, you're scaring me."

"He has you fucking brainwashed, Bells. I bet your fucking brother is helping him! I'm the one who's put in years of work-"

"Years of work, Jacob? That's what this was for you? Here I am thinking you were my best friend this entire time. I thought we were just two people who were forced to grow up way too fast, helping each other with the uncertainty in our lives! How dare you assume that just because you've put in years of work!" I hiss.

"You were always going to be mine!" He shouts.

"You aren't supposed to be here." Jake and I both jump and look towards the voice. Sam is crawling into my window, and I can feel Jake trembling, "Jake, you will not shift. You will not hurt her. Stand down."

"I don't have to listen to you, I am the rightful Alpha." Jake replies in a shaky voice.

"You may be, however I am the current Alpha and you can't defy my order. I acknowledge that you're the rightful Alpha, but until you can get yourself under control you can't take over the pack. You're continuing to defy my orders-"

"Because you're purposely keeping me from Bella!" Jake shouts and I'm thankful that Charlie is working.

"Jake, come outside." Sam orders and Jake shakes again, "Do not defy your Alpha." He shouts and I physically cringe.

Jake jumps off the bed and dives out the window. He doesn't even make it to the ground before he's shifted, and I watch in horror as he tears off into the forest. Sam approaches me and checks me over, and I feel the heat from his hands where they search my arms.

"He didn't hurt me."

"He would have." Sam says, "He wouldn't have meant to, but he was going to shift."

"How'd you know he was here?" I ask.

"I felt your fear." He replies, "Sweetheart I promise you that I'm not keeping him away for any other reason than his inability to control his anger."

"I know." I reply and I reach for him, pulling him close and wrapping my arms around his torso. I rest my head on his collarbone and feel his chin on top of my head, "Thank you."

"You don't ever have to thank me for protecting you." He says quietly.

"It's not just that." I reply softly and I pull away just so I can look up at him, "You've also been giving me space and time to figure this out, even though I know it's not easy for you at all."

His dark hazel eyes never leave mine, "Everything that happens between us will be your choice, Birdie. You've told me you've never felt in control of your life, and I refuse to be another person who makes decisions for you."

"Will you stay here tonight?" I ask.

"I'll do whatever you want." He replies softly and I lead him to my bed.

His chest is warm under my cheek, his arms are heavy but welcome around me, and the last thing I hear before falling asleep is the steady beating of his heart, and his deep voice is a quiet whisper, "This is everything."

I can't help but feel exactly the same.