Mrs. J.K., All yours, nothing mine, even though there are some people who want to read my stuff, not millions like yours, a couple of hundreds, sometimes a bit more… Yeah, I have fans! Not a lot, but I have some!

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Crap! At what age are they getting interested in boys? No… at what age are boys getting interested in girls? This is going to be a long night.

9 Theme Parks are only fun for kids.

The rest of the evening the kids had fun. They played board games in the playroom and told stories. The most fun was when the princesses explained to the normal girls how they thought the Wizarding world would be like. Proved by the books Luna showed about Wizarding Customs.

Luna said, "Uncle Sirius let us read these. It is full of fun facts and rules."

Taylor paged through the book, and saw something, "Hey here they say they can have more than one wife! Let's see… if they have more than one Lordship… if the Wife needs to continue her House… Hey, Harry! This applies to you too! You are the Potter and the Black Heir!"

Tina was reading along over Taylor's shoulder and commented, "That are two wives… now Harry needs to find a few that need to continue their House… Harry! You can have up to six wives as a Wizard! Too bad for you it is all make-believe."

She giggled, "Imagine serving six wives in bed every night Harry. Two Wives, two Consorts, and two Concubines, you'd be shagging yourself into an early grave."

Hermione remarked, "I bet there are potions for it, or they make a schedule to take turns."

Hannah looked at Susan, and Tracey at Daphne. All four of them blushed, that comment was too close to home to be comfortable with.

Luna pointed out, "I am a single child, so I have to be a Consort… no, I'll be a Concubine, they are allowed to be sluts. Although the Main wife can be a Two Galleon Whore too."

She turned to Susan, "Susan needs to be a Consort too, and.. Daphne doesn't have any brothers… we could be the three sluts! Who would be the wives? Tracey? Hannah? Oh, Harry! You can have the whole set!"

Luna turned her head to the Patils, "I bet Harry would enjoy twin play, that makes seven."

Dean protested: "Hey! Leave some for us! Parvati and Lavender are from our dorm, we claim them!"

Neville flapped out, "Then I want Hannah!" when Neville realized what he shouted, he put his hands before his face and groaned, "Me and my big mouth."

Hannah stood up, went to Neville, and sat beside him, "So, Heir Neville Longbottom, do I need to talk to my Father so he can open negotiations for a betrothal with your Grandmother?"

Neville paled, "Hannah! Gran is a hardcore traditionalist! We would be married before school is out!"

Hannah patted his back, "Don't forget Susan, Neville. She must keep her line. That will be Consort Longbottom. Tell me Neville, can you handle two wives?"

Cristina giggled, "Come on, Hannah, you are threatening a boy with a threesome! Wait a year and he asks one for the concubine position to get a foursome. Boys are starting to get horny around fourteen. If Harry were fourteen, his hands would have been in our panties already."

She looked at Neville, "Be glad that world is not real, Neville, having two wives cranky because they have their periods is no picnic."

Neville was puzzled, "What are periods?" going by the looks on their faces, he defended himself, "I live with my Gran! She never told me about a period!"

Harry sighed, "I'll ask Sirius to give you the Talk. He gave me The Talk when I started dating Taylor, Ariana, Tina, and Cristina. I would have embarrassed myself if he did not give me that Talk."

Taylor hugged Harry, "Remind me to thank him Harry. He did a good job," then she grinned, "Explain, Harry! We are among friends, what was the talk about?"

Luna commented, "It is about shoving his Dick up her Cummblmblmbbll."

Harry held his hand before her mouth, "That is when they are married and doing Role-playing games, Luna."

Daphne asked, "Role-Playing? What are those."

Sean and Seamus were enjoying this conversation, lets see how Harry got out of this one.

Harry sighed, "To spice up their love lives, some couples are acting out a situation, like the Naughty Student and her strict Professor, Master and Concubine, Doctor and his patient. That kind of situation. Usually, that is years into their marriage."

Parvati giggled, "I have to remember those, they seem fun."

Luna nodded, "Uncle Sirius has the Master and his Two Galleon Whore as his favomblmblbmb."

Harry told Luna, "Keep quiet little blabbermouth, or I have to spank you."

Padma teased, "More Role-playing, Harry?"

That got everyone in stitches, and Harry red-hot blushing. Luna topped it, "Only when we are married for a few years, Hubby."

Hermione looked thoughtful, "Now that I think about it, I recognize some similar situations at home… Oh, Morgana! I walked in on a few of them!"

Dean shrugged, "When the walls are paper-thin you learn to ignore it. Besides, that is not a comfortable topic to talk about with your parents, is it?"

Ariana shook her head, "The sound isolation in our block is not that good. We hear it from all sides, mum and Dad are not exactly quiet either. I think they get turned on when the neighbors are getting at it."

Harry shuddered, "Uncle Vernon was too fat and out of shape to deliver, so he had to lay on his back and let Aunt Petunia ride him. I saw it once and had nightmares for a week."

Daphne shrugged, "I would not know, I sleep in the other wing."

Tracy nodded, "Ditto."

Susan looked sad, "I live with my Aunt. I only saw her play with a... Replica she named it when I asked her what she was doing… I was seven!"

Parvati confessed, "Padma and I spied on our parents and their concubine."

Cristina cheered, "Awesome! Watching your folks doing a threesome is more interesting than me seeing my parents doing doggy style."

"Uncle Sirius mmblbmlbbl!" "Loves his privacy," finished Harry. "And I am trying to forget some parts."

Neville looked sad, "All I ever saw was two toads humping."

Lavender sighed, "I saw too much already, Dad with the nanny, Dad with the cook, Dad with the next-door neighbor, and last time Dad with his lawyer, who was a boy."

Seamus shrugged, "A shot of whiskey blurs it all. I am not that curious to know how my parents shag."

"You made me walking into my parents sound boring," commented Tina

"Same here," said Taylor, "maybe I should tell them to Role-play."

Everyone looked at Hannah, she was the last one, she protested, "What? I never saw them humping, and I hope I never will."

Cristina changed the subject, "I haven't seen Fifi all day, where is he?"

Daphne shuddered, "Far away I hope, that Hell hound is terrifying, I am scared to death of it."

Cristina was puzzled, "Fifi? He would not hurt a fly! We heard even a seven-year-old girl rode on his back like he was a pony."

Daphne said, "Well, we saw that pony snap the arms of someone who wanted to attack Harry. The healers had a hard time getting those arms functional again."

Luna giggled, "Fifi rubbed his bum in Dumbledore's face when he got off him. Dumbledore deserved it, Daphne. Fifi is a guard dog, after all, he simply did his job."

Harry looked somber, "Yeah, and Fifi will sleep in the Hallway to prevent shenanigans. That spoilsport."

Hermione looked disappointed, "Oh, I wanted to try a slumber party, I only read about it and wanted to try it out."

"Wait a bit I'll talk to Fifi," said Harry while he walked to the door.

Xxxxx

I lay in a strategic position to keep the kid's hormones in check. Harry's room and the boy's rooms behind me and the girls' rooms in front of me. Penny, the dear, conjured a comfy Dog basket for me. Hmm, way better than Azkaban. Sleepy… no! Have to stay awake! Brats can not be trusted! Hmm, comfy… Crap, I have to get out of that basket or I will fall asleep.

A hardwood floor feels like hardwood, not comfy at all… Hmm? What does Harry want? And the others?

"Fifi, we are going to have a slumber party tonight, and you will not interfere." started Harry,

Oh? Harry gets bossy! Slowly I stood up and put my snout against his nose, "Wraff" meaning no way.

Harry did not budge, "We never had a slumber party, Fifi, so we want to have one!" "Wraff!"

Harry groaned, "Come on! Be reasonable! OK, fine, we will keep it proper, we will behave."

Luna added, "We will get you a bitch, if you look the other way."

The sad part? I had to think about that offer until I realized I was a dog. I glared at Luna, "Wraff!"

Hermione said, "What if we keep our panties on?"

My head snapped to her, What the fuck? Why would they remove their panties?"

Daphne, a bit worried, asked, "I was not planning to get rid of my panty, Hermione. What is in that mind of yours?"

Hermione explained, "I read in Mum's books that they do Spin The Bottle, and the two people that gets pointed at have to… Maybe that was for grown-ups. We keep our panties on Harry… and our nightgowns."

Ariana said, "I did a truth or dare once, Taylor was there too. There were no boys around, and we were only eight years old."

Harry sighed, "We promise to keep it proper, Fifi, we don't want to get you in trouble."

I caved in, turned, got in my basket, and closed my eyes.

Harry fist-pumped and said, "Night clothes everyone, and to my room. I'll make sure the Elves put enough pillows and blankets on the floor, and some drinks and some snacks, come in when you are ready!"

That caused a stampede to change into their PJs. Five minutes later, everyone was in Harry's room. I am a lousy chaperon, meh, Penny and Tapsy will keep it clean.

Xxxxx

Breakfast was lively, Mr. and Mrs. Granger agreed to chaperon the kids and join us for breakfast. Mr. Granger asked, "Where are we heading today? A theme park is all I know."

Cristina answered, "Chessington World of Adventures, a Zoo and an Amusement park. Lord Black arranged the transport."

I smiled innocently, "I hired a special bus."

Daphne shivered, "If it is a Magical Bus, then I rather walk."

I shook my head, "Nope, I hired the most modern luxurious bus on the market for a day. We will travel in style. It should be here in twenty minutes.

Tina asked, "Daphne, what would a Magical bus look like?"

Daphne explained, "Imagine a purple bus, a triple-decker, instead of fixed seats, they have couches during the day and beds at night. You call them by having your wand out on the roadside. They will appear with a loud bang."

Daphne shook her head, "The driver is a mindless maniac and the conductor is a kindergarten dropout. They don't wait until you sit down but depart with a bang. You get shaken like a rag doll, while that bus is jumping all over Britain to deliver its passengers. It is no surprise only desperate Witches want to ride in it."

Ariana chuckled, "That is a detailed report, Daphne, you have a vivid imagination."

Daphne mumbled, "Or some bad memories."

I comforted her, "You will be pleasantly surprised, Miss Daphne."

I looked at Harry and asked, "Did you keep it proper last night, Harry? Or do I need to write out some marriage contracts?"

Harry groaned, "I am thirteen, Sirius, most of the girls are getting fourteen this year or already are. Only Luna is two months younger than me. We kept it proper."

Dean chuckled, "Yes we did, once Hermione got her mind out of her mother's romance novels."

Hermione defended herself, "Those could have been fun games, Dean!"

Dean nodded, "And we will try them when we are fifteen, Hermione."

Mr Granger asked his wife, "Do you have any idea what books she read?"

Mrs Granger shook her head, "I hope it is not your stack of Penthouses."

Hermione flapped out before she could stop herself, "I read those too."

Harry teased, "Is that why you said that knowledge should be free for everyone Hermione? Why didn't you share that kind of knowledge with us?"

Mr Granger sighed and told his wife, "It is no use hiding them, she can find any book in the house, even when I hide them in the basement behind the boiler."

Xxxxx

They got saved by the arrival of the bus. Yes, I got the works, a shiny huge touring bus was ready to drive us to the park. Amazed by the comfy seats, the princesses were mentally comparing it with the Knight bus.

The speakers played some music from Queen, my request, I love those guys… not love, love, but love their music, you know. It is weird, all my favorite male singers are gay. Freddy, Elton, that guy from Wham… anyway, the bus was a big hit, an hour and a bit later we arrived at the park.

Before we departed from the bus, I gave every kid 50£ pocket money, and told them, "If you wander off on your own, wait at the exit at five o'clock or as they say at seventeen hundred hours. If you are not there, Fifi will come for you."

I bought the tickets and let the kids loose, I spotted a nice Diner that served cool drinks, and I smiled at Mr. and Mrs Granger, "There is just the thing I was craving for, a nice cool drink. I am not in the mood to chase after the kids, they have too much energy."

It is a bit early for beer, so I settled for a cola. Mrs Granger sat in front of me next to her husband, she asked, "Those four girls did not notice something wrong last night?"

I grinned, "Nope, all they saw were special effects from an eccentric uncle."

"The Harry I have seen today and yesterday is completely different from the boy Hermione wrote us about in her letters," commented Mrs. Granger, she added, "Better different."

I sighed, "As Augusta told you yesterday, there was so much wrong with Harry that it was reason enough to fire almost all the professors of Hogwarts. Some of them are arrested and awaiting criminal charges. The school nurse is one of them."

I grinned, "His four girlfriends changed him. He knows they are with him for spending his money, and they know he is spending his money to snog all four of them, win-win for both."

I got serious, "Did they contact you to bring Hermione in for a medical examination?"

Mr Granger nodded, "We have an appointment next week in St Mungo's. They told me it was to look for after effects of being petrified."

"For Miss Hermione, it will be probably nothing," I told them, "but for some, it is needed, they have been petrified for up to seven months. The school nurse is arrested for that. She should have sent the first human victim to St Mungo's instead of waiting until they could brew the potion themselves."

When I saw them looking around I reassured them, "Don't worry, all they hear is background noise."

They relaxed, then I am going to make them worry, "There is something with Miss Hermione though, she is obsessed with books. Yesterday, Harry told her to wait for my permission to read books from my library, not ten minutes later she sneaked off to the library, took a book from the shelf, and started reading."

I held my hand up to stop the comments, "Not only is that bad manners in the Wizarding world, but mortally dangerous sometimes. Just a week ago Gringotts removed all the curses from the books in my library. They needed a week for that. I tell you, there were books if you didn't have Black blood they would have killed you."

I smiled at them, "Harry reprimanded her and the case is closed,"

I pointed at them, "but the problem remains, another example was the crush she had on her Dada Professor. In her eyes, he could do nothing wrong. Just because he wrote books, so he must be right all of the time. It all turns out that if it is in a book, it must be true. In our world that is a dangerous mindset."

Mrs. Granger sighed, "We are aware of it, Mr. Black, due to her high intelligence and some magic accidents, the other kids bullied her, she redrew into her own world, even her cousins made fun of her. We were happy she made a few friends at Hogwarts, Harry is the first true friend she had."

I nodded, "Harry speaks highly of her and treasures her friendship, but it is time for both to make more friends. Last school year their other friend Weasley was warding them off from others. He even told Miss Bones Harry did not want to talk to her."

"I questioned Harry about the boy, he is a prime example of a neglected child," I continued, "a one of many. He is the sixth child, six boys, and the youngest a girl. Once the girl is born, the boy fades into the background, to get attention, he acts rude. Then by chance… I hope it is by chance, he meets Harry on the train. Both boys connected, both neglected by their caretakers, and Ron Weasley is finally getting noticed. Harry did not have a clue about the wizarding world and let Ron be his guide."

I shrugged, "But Harry is a celebrity, and some of the rich girls wanted to talk to Harry, also their Parents and Grandparents were in an alliance. Ron Weasley, afraid to lose his ticket to the spotlight starts to snub them. Did Miss Hermione tell you how they became friends?"

Mr. Granger shook his head, "No, only that they became friends at Halloween."

"Harry told me after I pressured him to come clean with every aspect of his life," I explained, "That Halloween, in Charms class, Miss Hermione was trying to correct Ron Weasley's poor performance. After class, feeling humiliated, he started to complain about an insufferable know-it-all that nobody likes, well aware Miss Hermione heard him. She spent hours in a bathroom crying."

I held their questions, "at the feast she was still in that bathroom, a professor barged into the Hall and declared that there was a Troll in the Dungeons. Harry heard from his classmates that Miss Hermione was crying and wanted to warn her, the Troll was supposed to be in the dungeon, and Miss Hermione was on the second floor. Ron Weasley followed reluctantly. He knew he went too far with your daughter and would lose Harry's friendship if he bailed out."

The Grangers were following the story with increasing concern, "When they arrived at the Bathroom, the Troll just entered the Bathroom. With shear dumb luck, they knocked the Troll out. When questioned, strangely enough, Miss Hermione took the blame. That is how they became friends, Ron Weasley did not have a choice but to accept her, or he would lose Harry. Now, what strikes you odd in this story?"

Mrs. Granger shook her head, "A lot of things are odd to me. Why was she crying in a bathroom? You would think they cry in their bed instead of an uncomfortable toilet. Then, a Professor tells everyone that the Troll is in a dungeon, and a minute later the Troll enters a bathroom on the second floor? And why would she take the blame? She should be raging about the idiots that allow Trolls in the Castle!"

Mr Granger asked, "Could that Troll heard her crying?… No, nobody cries for hours, that Troll would not hear her… he was lured to Hermione?"

I nodded, "That Professor was trying to create chaos, so he had the opportunity to try stealing an artifact that was stored in school. He must have put scent markers for that Troll to find her. Attempted murder. That was one of the reasons Dumbledore is in a holding cell."

I sighed, "Hogwarts was not a safe place these last two years. We fired five Professors who were responsible for most of the irregularities and exorcised one Ghost. This year the school will be a school again instead of an old man's playground."

Mr. Granger was angry, "I am thinking of pulling Hermione out of that dead trap!"

I shook my head, "You can not do that without transferring her to another Magic school, if you don't, they will bind her Magic and erase all memories about the Magic world from all of you. That will create mental issues. Memory gaps and her core bound will change her behavior, often becoming violent. As I said, the school is safe again."

I gave my last piece of advice, "When you let Miss Hermione examine at St Mungo's, let them check on mind-altering spells too. Miss Hermione had the misfortune to be Harry's best friend, influence her and you influence Harry, sadly enough."

At that moment they saw Hermione walk past the Diner with the four princesses, talking and laughing. I pointed at her, "She is already making new friends, perhaps knowing Harry has new friends encouraged her, or the absence of Weasley made it easier. There is another group, the boys are sticking together… no, Harry is not with them."

Mrs Granger asked, "Why is the Weasley boy not here? Are they not friends anymore?"

I shook my head, "Nothing like that, they won the Raffle from our newspaper and won 700 Galleons. They decided to burn through that money with a trip to Egypt. That is another suspicious action."

I clarified, "The Weasleys are poor, Arthur's Grandfather gambled their fortune away against a Malfoy. With or without fraud, I would not know. The fact remains they are poor. Add the fact that they have to pay for seven kids to go through Hogwarts, why would they throw away that kind of money?"

Mr Granger asked, "What other reason could there be besides stupidity?"

I answered, "Dumbledore. You see, the Weasley girl had spent the whole school year possessed by an artifact, an artifact Dumbledore had to know about through his wards. The Weasleys could not afford a mind healer or a curse breaker to remove the residue a long-term curse leaves behind."

I smiled sadly, "Now you have to know their oldest son is a Curse Breaker for Gringotts stationed in Egypt, and Dumbledore was so nice to volunteer to draw the winner of that Raffle. Purely a coincidence I am sure."

Mr. Granger frowned, "They could have let the father go alone with his Daughter or the mother. That would have saved their money."

I pointed out a flaw in his reasoning, "You forget this is a small community. A father visiting his curse breaker Son with his Daughter in Egypt? She would never find a proper match to marry with. Gossip can make or break a reputation, you know. We still have that Victorian mentality in our world."

Mr Granger swore silently, "The more I hear about the Wizard World, the more I want to grab my girl and run away to Australia."

I nodded, "That would be the smart thing to do, except they have their own set of troubles Down Under with the Aboriginals. That would be out of the Cauldron and into the Fire. The same goes for Canada and the Eskimos, India with the locals, the USA… with Britain, not to forget Africa, we really messed it up there. South America is a Spanish and Portuguese problem… You understand? As I said, there is not one place that does not have its own set of problems."

Mrs. Granger looked sadly at me, "I must say that you have a negative view of the world, Mr Black, that can not be healthy too. Somehow you have to trust more."

I sighed, "Spending thirteen years in Azkaban as an innocent man can do that to you, Mrs. Granger. My view on the wizarding world cured Harry from the blinders they put on him. The world is not a friendly place if you are not one of the sheep."

I stood up, "Enough about that depressing stuff! Let's turn off our adult brains and let the kiddy brain take over and have fun. I want to try those roller coasters and compare them with Gringotts carts."

Xxxxx

At five o'clock we got on the bus, all accounted for. Nothing binds friends more together than having fun. New friendships are formed, and old friendships are reinforced. Maybe that is why Luna and Harry are two peas in a pod, they did this plenty of times with his girlfriends.

We delivered the four girls at home, and the rest at my place, My place still does not have the Floo connected, and with a sad sigh, Daphne held her wand out. With a bang, a Triple-decker bus appeared.