Hey, guys. Welcome to the next chapter of, 'Helluva An Imp!'. I hope that you guys will enjoy the chapter...anyway, I don't own anything except for my OCs as the OCs Ratchet Calamity, Sable Calamity, Emerald the Demon Horse, and Azrael belong entirely to 9655.
NOW LET'S GET ON WITH THE STORY!
{Helluva An Imp-Season 1, Episode 6: Truth Seekers!}
It was a normal night on Planet Earth as we cue over to Arlington County, Virginia, and we appeared at one of the D.H.O.R.K.S.'s Abandoned Lab Facilities as we zoomed inside and we see two Human Agents messing around with a supercomputer as it had five monitors and it showed multiple images of the I.M.P.'s Missions, which includes Blitzo and Moxxie standing outside Martha's House, Blitzo carrying around a half-naked Millie and Moxxie with Loona holding their clothes as Lazlo and Ratchet appeared after killing the Catfish Mutant Monster, a horny Millie and Moxxie French-kissing while swinging on a rope, Aurora helping out the Cherub Angels and instructing them to go the Hazbin Hotel to get help from the Princess of Hell to get a new home and job as she even created a portal for Hell for them to go through, and Blitzo being caught choking on the boba pearls of his drink as he was fangirling at the sight of a group of Male Horses.
Standing before us is a 5'8-feet-tall, 35-year-old Human Man with brown eyes, short brown hair, thick black eyebrows, a small pointy nose, a sharp chin, Pale Skin, a tall slim build, and his outfit consists of a pair of black shades, a long-sleeved high-collared black/dark red tuxedo-jacket with red lapels as he accessorized them with a 'D' pin on the left side, a long-sleeved high-collared white shirt underneath, a black necktie, a black belt with a silver belt buckle, long black pants, and a pair of black dress shoes. His real name is unknown, but he is known as Agent One, a member of D.H.O.R.K.S., and Agent Two's Partner.
Standing before us is a 5'6-feet-tall, 33-year-old African Human Woman with light brown eyes, curly pixie-cut light blonde hair, thin black eyebrows, a small bulbous nose, a sharp chin, F-Cup Breasts, Pale Brown Skin, a short yet slender build, a perky heart-shaped ass, and her outfit consists of a pair of black shades, a long-sleeved high-collared black/dark red tuxedo-jacket with red lapels as she accessorized them with a 'D' pin on the right side, a long-sleeved high-collared white shirt underneath, a black necktie, a black belt with a silver belt buckle, long black pants, and a pair of black low-heeled shoes. Her real name is unknown, but she is known as Agent Two, a member of D.H.O.R.K.S., and Agent One's Partner.
"Right there. This was the first sighting." Agent One says while speaking with a New York Accent as he then points over at the image of Blitzo using his New Borrowed Grimoire to travel to Earth to see Earth Horses.
"They are definitely from Hell. They must use this dark magic to cross over into our world... and they seem to be killing specifically targeted people, but, why?"
"They always attack at random, all over the country. There's no way to predict where they'll show up next." Agent One says with a glare just as a loud clattering noise is heard from outside, followed by a stock angry cat sound as the two agents immediately glance over to a barred-up window obscured by heavily damaged blinds, and Agent One makes a gap between the blinds to the outside to see what made that noise as the Agents of D.H.O.R.K.S. then see the source of all the racket, which is revealed to be Blitzo standing on a box and a dumpster while holding the dumpster lid open as he looks around suspiciously.
"Ahhh, well...that's convenient." Agent Two says with a surprised tone and a shrug as we then see Blitzo standing on trash bags and holding a dumpster lid open.
"Shhhhh, remember, we can't be seen," Blitzo says while slamming the dumpster lid loudly, but then falls backwards into a pile of trash bags as Millie silently chuckles at his predicament and then walks away as Lazlo and Ratchet can be seen talking with Sable.
"Pardon my words, sir, but you're currently being the loudest," Moxxie says dryly as Blitzo jumps up out of the garbage pile covered in trash as he has an old newspaper on his forehead, a half-eaten lollipop stuck to the side of his head, a scrap of paper on his horn with an old banana peel impaled on the end of it, and a used condom on his index finger, the same finger he uses to poke Moxxie's face indignantly.
"I said shuuush your dick-sucking lips, Moxxie!" Blitzo snapped as an annoyed and disgusted Moxxie stepped away from his boss for a short moment, likely grossed out from Blitzo's condom finger as he gagged.
"...So, wait, you are saying that Angels AREN'T invincible?" A shocked Lazlo asked as Sable finished informing I.M.P. about the Overlord Meeting that she went to.
"Yep, someone was able to kill an Exorcist, and I had come to find out from my friend that Exorcists can be killed by Angelic Weapons," Sable says with a nod while wearing her casual outfit, which consists of a long-sleeved high-collared white opened jacket with a black top underneath that showed off her impressive bust, a black strap wrapped around her body as it held a white/black Mark 1 Lancer Assault Rifle, a white belt with a black belt buckle, long black jeans, and a pair of thigh-high black boots with white accents.
"Really? It's that simple? Man, it's a good thing that we kept our Angelic Rifles." A relieved Ratchet says while having his mask on as Lazlo nods.
"Yeah, and speaking about Extermination Day, the Princess of Hell texted me and told me that her Boyfriend and Brother would be having a meeting with us later at night."
"Ugh, do we have to? I don't want to talk to the Princess's Boy Toy and the Rich Spoiled Brat." An angry and irritated Blitzo says as Lazlo turns to him.
"She said that it was extremely urgent and could concern us," Lazlo says as Blitzo lets out a loud, exaggerated groan but nods just as a humming Millie could be seen drawing a pentagram with chalk on the wall, and it glows red as she was able to create a glowing red dimensional portal to Hell, specifically the I.M.P. Headquarters as a bored Loona could be seen standing in front of them and held the Grimoire in her arms.
"Come on, assholes, move it, so that I can finish my shift and go home," Loona says as the I.M.P. nods, and a curious Millie turns to Ratchet.
"Well, Loona's been a lot calmer and better at her job lately," Millie said to Ratchet as he shrugged.
"Well, she has a Boyfriend and a Best Friend now to keep her grounded now," Ratchet said while gesturing to Lazlo and Sable.
"Huh, I guess that makes sense," Millie says with a warm smile as she and Sable make their way over to leap through the glowing red dimensional portal as the boys were planning to follow, but Blitzo and Lazlo suddenly ran over to tackle a surprised Moxxie and Ratchet into the ground, barely missing a net being shot their way as the Leader of I.M.P. gritted his teeth angrily.
"GET DOWN!" Blitzo ordered seriously as Agent One appeared at the end of the alleyway and cocks his net launcher, readying another capture net as the I.M.P. Crew noticed Agent Two jumping down on a rope from a building, landing in front of the glowing red dimensional portal. "LOONA! CLOSE IT!" Blitzo ordered, knowing fully well that they, including Stolas, will all be absolutely fucked if any of the Agents go through the portal and appear in Hell because then Lucifer will be able to sense that a Human Being emerged in his realm without his permission and teleport over to their location to either punish them severely, kill them, or worse, send them all to the Void.
"B-But,"
"DAMN IT, LOONA, CLOSE UP THE PORTAL ALREADY!" A glaring Lazlo ordered before grunting in pain as Agent Two shot a tranquilizer dart at his back, causing him to grow drowsy and tired as he crashed down onto the ground, causing Loona to flinch and grimace worriedly for her Father, Boyfriend, and friends before reluctantly opening up her glowing red Grimoire and chanted the spell to close up the portal.
"Wait, no!" Millie yelled worriedly as she tried to run through the glowing red dimensional portal before it closed, but failed as a concerned Blitzo quickly leaped over to tackle Lazlo's unconscious body, and they rolled over to appear behind a dumpster as, after seeing the portal close, Moxxie looked distraught at first but quickly shifts to angry, pulling out a pistol in an attempt to fight off the two agents as he jumps off a wooden pallet to dodge both a tranquilizer dart and a capture net as the Imp fired a couple of bullets to distract them long enough for Ratchet to take cover behind another dumpster.
"Good shit, Moxxie!" Ratchet praised as Moxxie smiled and nodded as he prepared to fire, but was hit in the neck from behind by a tranquilizer dart as the Imp stumbles, mumbling incoherently, then falls to the ground.
"Moxxie! Ratchet, fly us out of here!" Blitzo ordered after making sure to place Lazlo over his shoulder while muttering about how heavy he was as the Imp went over to grab Moxxie, and Ratchet flew out of cover to make his way over to grab the I.M.P. Crew as he tried to fly them away, only for Agent One to fire a big net that trapped them all at once, sending them crashing down into the ground as a glaring Agent Two then fired a bunch of tranquilizers all over their bodies, causing them all to groan as the I.M.P. Crew slowly grew unconscious.
"I'd like to see the suits at corporate callin' us losers now! That was pretty badass!" Agent One says while chuckling confidently as Agent Two cocks her gun and nodded.
"Super badass!" Agent Two says as we then cue back to the I.M.P. Office, and we see Millie furiously punching the wall with tears in her eyes and making vicious demon screeches before falling to her knees, devastated as she wails with her head and hands on the floor.
"Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" Millie cursed as Loona stood behind her with Stolas' Grimoire in her hands, looking concerned.
"You, uh...you okay, there?" Loona asked as Millie suddenly stood up, startling Loona into dropping the Grimoire and holding her hands up defensively.
"What're you doing sittin' there?! The boys are in trouble! Open it again!"
"Blitzo was using a total of zero euphemisms, innuendos, or swears. That means it was serious and not to mention that Lazlo also told me to close it and I don't think-," Loona says before getting cut off by Milie as, due to being consumed by rage and worry for her husband and friends, the Imp reached up to grab the Hellhound by her shirt and yanks her down to face level.
"Open the fucking portal, now!"
"Hey! I know that you are worried about the boys, but that doesn't give you the right to yell at her like that!" Sable snapped while pushing Millie away from Loona as she growled. "Look, you are concerned about Moxxie, we get it. We are concerned about our brother, boyfriend, and friends, but getting angry at each other won't solve anything." Sable says as Millie growled and then huffed as she nodded.
"Alright, alright, I'm sorry, I'm just on edge."
"It's okay, now let's get suit up." A determined Sable says as the girls nod and we then see a sequence of the trio gearing up for a rescue mission as Loona zips a backpack labeled, 'Blitzo's Emergen-C Bag', closed, an angry Millie twirls and lifts a giant double-headed axe with the 'M' in the middle, and Sable cocked her Mark 1 Lancer Assault Rifle as we then see a glowing red dimensional portal opening up in the alleyway placed somewhere in Arlington County, Virginia and we see Millie and Sable leaping out while landing on the ground in a fighting pose as Loona steps out of it nonchalantly.
"They aren't here!" A distraught and saddened Millie says while dropping her axe and falling to her knees again with tears welling in her eyes as, before she can cry, Sable bends down to sniff the ground to track where Blitzo and the boys went.
"It smells like they went this way," Sable says before she and Loona are covered with a swirling flash of blue and purple light as the Hellhounds magically transform into their Human Forms.
Standing before them is Sable magically transformed into her Human Disguise, which makes her resemble a 5'8-feet-tall, 21-year-old Human African American Woman with a pair of eyes that have white scleras and purple irises, a huge amount of curly black hair with white highlights in it as it reached down to her legs, black thin eyebrows, a small nose, a small mouth with black lipstick, a sharp chin, F-Cup Breasts, Dark Brown Skin, a tall hourglass slender build, a heart-shaped thick bubble butt, and her outfit consists of a pair of black shades, a long-sleeved high-collared black/dark purple tuxedo-jacket with purple lapels, a long-sleeved high-collared white shirt underneath, a black necktie, a black strap wrapped around her body as it held a white/black Mark 1 Lancer Assault Rifle, a black belt with a silver belt buckle, long black pants, and a pair of black dress shoes.
"Come on, let's go and save our dumbasses," Loona says while wearing her normal outfit, but her choker lost its spikes, two black thigh-high socks, and a pair of high-top sneakers.
"Yeah, let's," Millie says with a determined grin while leaping into Loona's backpack as she hid inside, and Sable went over to close it up properly as both Disguised Hellhounds then walked off and followed after the I.M.P. Crew's scent while making sure to look as inconspicuous and normal as possible, and we then fast forward in time as we cue over to the D.H.O.R.K.S. Organization Building and we see Lazlo and the others, sans an already awakened Blitzo, waking up and looking around groggily to see that they were tied to chairs with the Imps' tails being wrapped together and chained to an iron ball that had several chains that are connected to Lazlo and Ratchet's wings to prevent them from being able to use them to fly.
"Finally awake, huh, little fellas?" Agent Two says with a mocking tone as Moxxie panics and briefly struggles to get out until Agent Two grabs the lamp over their heads and brings it close to Moxxie's face, causing him to flinch away as Lazlo and Ratchet glared at her stoically. "Your partner has been a while now."
"Look, shitbag, it takes a lot to keep me down, alright? I took a fuck-ton of tranquilizers in the college I dropped out of. Also, I've been strapped nipple first to a car battery. So, I-Ohhh, okay!" Blitzo says with a smug tone before flinching as the lamp is shined in his face by Agent One.
"Tell us, Demon Scum, who do you work for?! Satan?!"
"Ourselves and nope," Lazlo stated bluntly as Agent Two grabbed the light again, and they began grabbing it back and forth as they interrogated the I.M.P. Crew.
"How did you get to our world from the afterlife?!"
"Magic."
"Why are youse killin' humans?!"
"For fun and profit."
"When did you show up here?"
"Do you mean at life or the first time we arrived here on Planet Earth?" Lazlo asked smugly as an annoyed Blitzo rolled his eyes.
"Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, bitch. First of all, we just woke up from a veeeery nasty shock, and I'm still feelin' fuckin' woozy, so I'm gonna request you fetch us some coffee before we get into this. I mean, everyone gets coffee in shitty movies with scenes like this, am I right? I want somethin' iced, bitch." Blitzo demanded as he then turned to the others. "What do you guys want?"
"I want a Froyo." A smirking Lazlo says as Ratchet perks up.
"I want hot chocolate. What about you, Mox?"
"I'll have a Neapolitan cappuccino, more cappu-than-ccino, make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk; the beans won't have the right texture otherwise, and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup. They always put, 'Foxy', or 'Roxy'; I hate that. If you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti traditional misto. Please use soy milk, with two blond shots affogato and and ristretto!" Moxxie demanded as he pointed his foot at Agent Two accusatorily with a sharp glare. "I'd also love...three vanilla pumps at the very bottom, then add the coffee after, then add-,"
"Wow, I was getting massive douche chills just there, Mox. Congrats." Blitzo praised as Agent One glared at them.
"Enough, we aren't getting youse drinks!" Agent One snapped as Lazlo gave him a flat glare.
"Okay, it's 'you', not 'youse'. Use correct grammar, Human."
"That's it, we are done playing nice. Don't you know that, if we have to, we are willing to resort to torture methods to get answers outta you nasty Hell Beasts?" A scowling Agent Two says as Moxxie gives her a flat glare.
"When you say, 'torture', do you mean physical or psychological?"
"Yeah, because we are like skilled and experienced Assassins, so we have been trained mentally against interrogations, so all of your mental gymnastics won't work against us," Ratchet says as Lazlo nods.
"And physical won't work either because we would likely tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain, and you would have no way of knowing what was true. Not to mention that we are all way more resistant than Humans so it would take you literally like months to be able to properly torture us."
"Or we might like it too much, and then you've got a whole new thing to deal with," Blitzo says with a sly grin as Agent One points at him angrily.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Ah, you're stupid, huh? I can work with stupid. Daddy likey dummy~," Blitzo says as Moxxie squirms in his chair trying to hold in his laughter but laughs anyway and stomps his hoof on the floor.
"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Good one, sir! 'Daddy likey!',"
"You better stop laughin' at us!" Agent Two snapped as Agent One fumed.
"Yeah! You are the ones at our mercy!
"It's hard to resist, I'm really sorry. I mean, considering your approach thus far, you've had us tied here for what, hours? And you haven't even had us confirm what exactly we are." Moxxie pointed out as Agent Two leaned down curiously.
"What are you?"
"I'm a Virgo."
"Hah!/Nice one, Mox! Damn, Mox, you are on the roll today!" Blitzo, Ratchet, and Lazlo say with a laugh as they all share high fives awkwardly due to them being tied up.
"Ohhhhh, a smart guy, eh?!"
"One more quip outta you and we'll shut you up!" Agent Two says as Lazlo grins lustfully.
"Oh, and how would you do that, Human? Will you do some 'special' interrogation to make me spill my guts~?" Lazlo asked with his eyes glowing in the dark as he spread out his tongue and wrapped it around her chest to rub it against her F-Cup Breasts. "I won't mind fucking a Human~," Lazlo says as both agents, especially Agent Two, recoil in shock and horror.
"WHAAAAT?! We aren't playin' into your vile demon kinks!" A panicking and blushing Agent Two says as Blitzo shrugs.
"I mean, that's what it sounded like back there, you sickos."
"Please don't give them ideas, sir," Ratchet says sarcastically as Agent One scowled at them.
"Stooop! We are NOT gettin' kinky wit youse!"
"Again, it's 'With', and 'You', not 'Wit' and 'Youse'. Man, I never knew that Humans sucked at Grammar." Lazlo says with a taunting tone as Agent One looks close to snapping at him but is stopped by Agent Two as she walks over to grab him and pull him away.
"Calm down, One! Don't let these monsters get to you!"
"Heyyyy, aren't we gonna get our phone call, bitch?"
"Well, that entirely depends! Who are you gonna call? Hmmm?"
"Your fat mom, thankin' her for a fat time!" Blitzo says with a laugh as Agent Two grins smugly.
"Nice try, Demon! His fat mom is dead!" Agent 2 says as Agent One cries in the background, and we then cut to the exterior of the D.H.O.R.K.S. Organization Building as two D.H.O.R.K.S. Guards armed with naginatas stand outside the entrance as four security cameras loom over their heads, and Millie, Sable, and Loona peek around the side of the building, looking for a way to sneak in as the Hellhounds had magically transformed back into their Normal Forms earlier.
"This where they ended up?" Millie asked suspiciously as Sable nodded.
"Yep it is."
"Fuck, this looks intense. How are we gonna get in?" Loona asked worriedly as Millie looked around and saw a small vent over their heads and pointed at it.
"Lift me up to that vent!" Millie ordered as Loona raised her hand, and Millie climbed up, opened the vent, and crawled inside as she opened the side door from inside the building and let the Hellhounds in as the trio sneaked through the halls trying to find the boys, completely unaware that a D.H.O.R.K.S. Guard can see them on the surveillance camera as he spits out his coffee in surprise, unintentionally soaking another guard and sounds an alarm to alert the other guards of the trespassers.
The trio then screeches to a halt as a bunch of D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents can be seen appearing on the scene while holding several Japanese melee weapons as a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent holding a naginata runs toward the trio and swings it at them as the girls duck, avoiding the blade as Mille jumps forward and swings the axe, chopping off a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent's leg off while Sable raised her Mark 1 Lancer Assault Rifle and shoots him twice to kill him as a maliciously grinning Millie throws the axe at another D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent's face where it sticks and the Imp went over to climb up the agent's body and removes the axe from his head, jumps to avoid yet another D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent's katana swing as Millie then chops the katana-wielding agent in two vertically.
A growling Loona runs towards a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent with twin nunchaku and attempts to split-kick him, but he avoids it as she then stretches her tail over to wrap around his waist and uses her Super Strength to launch him up into the air, allowing for Sable to leaped into the air and latched onto his waist with her mouth as she easily bites him in half, killing him as the Hellhound landed beside her fellow Hellhound and a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent swings his kusarigama at the girls but Loona and Sable raised their heads to latch onto the chain with their teeth and used their Super Strength to yank him forward to allow for Millie to jumped forward and sliced off the surprised kusarigama-wielding D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent with her axe, killing him and the trio ran forward.
Narrowing their eyes murderously, the I.M.P. Crew spotted another set of three D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent inside a large doorway as one agent hit a button attempting to stop the girls by closing the blast door on them, and the other two revealed their shuriken and proceed to throw them at the girls, though they miss entirely as Loona and Sable reached down to grab Millie and then tossed her forward with the Imp holding out her axe with a maniacal grin on her face as she flies toward the group of D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents, landing with a roll just as the blast door labeled, 'CAUTION BLAST DANGER', closes behind her as screams of agony can be heard due to Millie absolutely slaughtering them off-screen and the blast door opens back up to show a cheerfully smiling Millie surrounded by dismembered corpses and blood splattered on the walls and ceiling.
"Damn, you're pretty agile for an old lady." An impressed Loona says while she and Sable walk into the room as Millie scoffs and balances her axe over her shoulder as she rolls her eyes.
"I'm, like, four and five years older than you two."
"Yeah, so you are old," Sable says with a teasing smile as Millie snarled and pouted as we cue back to the others, and we see Agent One yelling at Blitzo while he responds by playfully sticking his tongue out at him.
"Stop insultin' my mother! She's dead!" Agent One cried as Agent Two reached over to place her hands on his shoulders comfortingly.
"Hey, hey, let's just leave them here until they feel like talkin'," Agent Two says as she and Agent Two leave the room while slamming the door behind them as the I.M.P. Crew glances at the door just to be sure, then immediately tries to struggle in their bonds for a couple of seconds before giving up.
"Don't worry, guys, if we keep being obnoxious, they'll eventually slip up and we'll get a chance to get out," Blitzo says as Ratchet nodded.
"Yeah, let's just keep fuckin' with them until they get so frustrated, they stop thinkin' clearly, and we can use that to escape." Ratchet says as, unknown to them, Agents One and Two can be seen spying on them from their Monitor Room and share an evil grin as Agent Two chuckles and hits a button between, 'HAHA GAS', and, 'BITCH JUICE' as she lifts her fist away, and hits a glowing green button named, 'TRUTH BOMB'.
"Damn, they took away our weapons. I could've used my Chain-Sickle to cut us through." An annoyed Lazlo says as he and the others struggle to escape from their binds.
"I'm just worried about Millie. She'll be on her way by now, I'm sure."
"Don't worry, Mox, Millie is literally the strongest physical fighter we have and she has Sable and Loona with her. They will be fine." Ratchet says as Moxxie pouted, and unknown to them, green gas began filtering into the room.
"We've never dealt with the human government before! She and the rest of the girls are in danger!"
"Do you ever honestly shut up about Millie?! It's always, 'Oh, how's Millie?', 'I can't tonight. I'm hangin' with Millie!', 'I'm so worried about Millie!', and she's ALWAYS...FIVE FUCKIN' FEET away from you! It's pathetic!" A suddenly angry Blitzo snapped as everyone gave him stunned and disturbed looks.
"Damn, boss, where the fuck did that come from?" A surprised Lazlo asked as a hurt Moxxie nodded.
"Yeah, that...was oddly personal."
"Y'know, you're right! I don't know why the fuck I just let my guts spill like that." A bewildered Blitzo says as he and the others glance around to see the green gas surrounding the four of them as their eyes widen in fear.
"Uh, guys? Some type of gas is filling this room!" Lazlo says with a worried tone as Ratchet gagged.
"The hell is this?!"
"I think it's some kind of airborne truth-telling serum!"
"...Oh...you just guess that's what it is?" A deadpanned Blitzo asked as Moxxie shrugged.
"Well, uh...let's just ask each other something specific that wouldn't normally tell each other."
"Okay, Ratchet, do you have a crush on anyone?" Lazlo asked as Ratchet blushed.
"Octavia."
"Hah, knew it," Lazlo says with a smug grin as an embarrassed Ratchet turns to Moxxie.
"What do you think of me?"
"A great and loyal friend," Moxxie says as he turns to Blitzo. "Did you really date Verosika Mayday or was it a one-night stand?"
"Okay, I really did date her, asshole," Blitzo says with a glare as he then turns to Lazlo. "How big is your dick when it's fully hard?"
"10-inches-Wait, come on! Why did you ask me that?!" A blushing Lazlo asked as Blitzo laughed.
"What is the most embarrassing kill you made?" Moxxie asked Ratchet as he groaned.
"I tried to shoot a man but couldn't due to my weapon getting jammed and the guy shot me. It's embarrassing because the fucking guy never held a gun before in his life."
"Ratchet, are you a virgin?" Blitzo asked curiously as Ratchet fumed.
"Y-Yes..."
"Knew it, had an inkling."
"Grrr, well, I have a question of my own, do you resent me for not being an Imp like you guys?" Ratchet asked angrily as Blitzo looked genuinely surprised by what he said.
"What? Of course not."
"Hey, Moxxie, does Millie ever peg you?" Lazlo asked with a sly smirk as Moxxie blushed and smiled at the thought.
"Sometimes-Wait! Ew! Fuck! Why that?!"
"I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself," Lazlo says with a laugh as Moxxie glared at him and grinned slyly.
"Okay, I have a question for you, do you truly love your Girlfriend?"
"What? Of course, I love Loona." Lazlo says with a scowl before freezing as Blitzo flinches and narrows his eyes angrily.
"What...did...you...say?"
"N-Nothing, sir."
"Don't you bullshit me, motherfucker. I have a question for you. Are you dating my Daughter?" Blitzo asked as Lazlo struggled to close his mouth but failed as he cursed.
"Shit, okay, Loona and I are dating alright?! We have been dating since we made the bet with your ex!"
"Oh, my fucking Satan! This whole time one of my employees has been dating my Daughter-Wait...have you plowed my Daughter, asshole?!" An angry Blitzo asked as Lazlo groaned.
"Yes, many, many times, I fucked her hard and made her my bitch. Oh, and you remember when you called me during the whole Harvest Moon Festival thing? I was fucking your Daughter when you called me. She really loved having my bone shoved inside of her body."
"YOU MOTHERFUCKER! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! I'M GOING TO SLASH OFF YOUR DICK AND HAVE MILLIE USE IT AS A STRAP ON TO PEG MOXXIE AS YOU WATCH!" Blitzo snapped while struggling against his binds and shook the chair around as he snarled and growled like a beast, trying to attack Lazlo but failing as they crashed down into the ground just as the vent pumped more of the green gas into the roof as Blitzo coughed and we switch to a POV shot we watch as the room wobble and distort, changing into something else as he shakes his head and turns back to face Moxxie angrily. "DAMMIT, MOXXIE, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
"HOW IS THIS MY FAULT!"
"IF YOU HADN'T MADE ME FUCK UP MY SHOT, I WOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO KILL LAZLO WHEN HE TRIED TO STEAL THE GRIMOIRE AND HE WOULDN'T HAVE FUCKED MY DAUGHTER!"
"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!"
~[Moxxie's Hallucination]~
"Blitzo? Lazlo? Ratchet? I can't see you." Moxxie says confusedly as a musical trill and the sound of wind are heard as Millie's Husband stands up, the ropes falling away from him as he walks forward into purple fog, and as the Imp walks into the fog, the art style subtly shifts into something more Disney-esque and Moxxie's outfit changes into something classically appropriate as organ music begins to play. "God, this smells awful! What's that music? Is that you? Is this a prank? Because I swear to Satan-," Moxxie's rant is interrupted by a figure behind him standing at an organ at the top of a staircase that slowly pans into view as the other figure appears to be Blitzo dressed similarly to Erik the Phantom from, 'The Phantom of the Opera' as he is wearing a black cloak with a wide fringed collar as well as a mask over his right eye, turning it entirely red and imitates the white blotch normally seen on his face as the symbol on his forehead has also changed into a broken heart.
"IT IS NO PRANK, BITCH!" Hallucination Blitzo says while speaking in a deeper octave than normal as Moxxie eyes him in bewilderment.
"Heyyyyyy, why do you sound like that?"
"Because YOU, my precious little bitch boy-,"
"Stop it, sir!"
"...are tripping...BAAAAALLLLS!" Hallucination Blitzo exclaimed as the shiny organ pipes acted as a spotlight and pointed at Moxxie, who flinched as he grabbed a candelabra and ascended the stairs, beginning to talk-sing.
"No, what?! How could this be? I've never tried acid, shrooms, or DMT. It's a bad trip. Oy, gevalt. Of course, Blitzo, this would be your fault." Moxxie sang as Hallucination Blitzo played on the organ. "My lungs are full of honesty, would you promise me that you won't judge?"
"Yes, biiitch!" Hallucination Blitzo sang as he dramatically played his organ.
"Not trying to divulge too much, but, I'm in too deep. So, first of all: FUCK YOU!"
"Whaaaat?!" A shocked Hallucination Blitzo asked as Moxxie fumed.
"This is just typical. Well, two can play at this game of dismay because if you're here, causing frustration, I'm torturing you in your hallucination."
~[Blitzo's Hallucination]~
A stunned Blitzo finds himself sitting on a chair in a strange, formless wasteland made of ink as stalactites made of ink drip in the foreground and the Imp's art style has shifted to be similar to early animation, presumably rubber hose as he is also now wearing a clown outfit and the symbol on his forehead, as shown in Moxxie's hallucination, is now a broken heart and four globs of ink in pink, black, brown and red float around him in swirling motions as Blitzo stands up, almost falling over backwards from the softer terrain as the red glob becomes a six-eyed monster and screeches at Blitzo, dripping a bunch inky sludge on him as he looks at his hands, now coated in the red ink as the Leader of I.M.P. sniffs and licks at it before the ink monster comes up behind him screaming as, feeling frightened, Blitzo stumbles and falls backward into the black ink ground as the ink monster lands and morphs into a version of Moxxie drawn a la the plan segment from 'Spring Broken' that speaks in a British accent with old-timey audio quality all the while, gloomy rock music plays in the background.
"I simply follow your orders! It isn't my fault that your orders are as nonsensical as a sun tanning bed left out on the cold, rainy porch of a fresh April shower!"
"Why are you talking like that? What the fuck does that even mean?!" A disbelief and confused Blitzo asked as the Doodle Moxxie began shifting between Doodle and Real Moxxie as his audio changed back and forth accordingly.
"I am simply speaking Satan's plain English! Perhaps you should crack open a dictionary sometime! And then maybe you can understand half of the frivolous things I carry on and on about on my many rants about..." Doodle and Real Moxxie ranted as the music got louder while being accompanied by a high-pitched tone, drowning out his words as Blitzo looked up at the three other ink-glob creatures circling around them.
"SHUT UP!"
~[Lazlo's Hallucination]~
"Do you think that you could be anything more than what you are, Son?" The Hallucination of Lazlo's Mom as she stalked up to her son furiously. "You are nothing! You don't deserve to live in this Hellish Landscape! I should've gotten the abortion when I had the chance!"
~[Ratchet's Hallucination]~
"Did you think that we would ever accept you?" Hallucination Blitzo asked with a glare as Ratchet could be seen standing in a white room filled with shadows of his teammates as they all glared down at him with betrayed and contemptful looks on their faces.
"After lying to us for months?"
"I thought that you were our friend, but clearly you aren't because you lied to us."
"Why don't you fly off and go to where you belong?"
"Because clearly you don't want to stay with us Imps and Hellhound." Hallucination Moxxie, Millie, Loona, and Lazlo say as tears of anguish and guilt roll down Ratchet's eyes.
~[Moxxie's Hallucination]~
"Why do you hurt me so?"
"I knoooow!"
"Why must you push your friends away?"
"I push my friends awaaaaay!"
"Why does it seem like a recurring theme that you alienate with your toxic routine?"
"I don't know! Eventually, everyone goes!"
"Cause you're thoughtless and cruel, and you'll end up alone!" Moxxie sang as Hallucination Blitzo seemed shocked by his accusations.
~[Blitzo's Hallucination]~
"Admit it, my dear boss; you don't know what you are doing half the time." Doodle Moxxie's voice rang out as Blitzo now stood motionless while the remaining ink creatures swirled and dripped in the air above him. "And you depend on all of us to manage your foolish flights of fancy!"
"I don't need you! I can do this shit on my own SO easily!" Blitzo snapped as the brown ink creature grabs him by the neck and throws him on the ground as it then morphs into Striker, who speaks with Blitzo's voice in a Southern drawl.
"But, ya don't wanna do things alone, Blitzo!" Hallucination Striker says as more brown sludge grabs Blitzo and tosses him up into the air, then the grey ink creature morphs into a rubber hose version of Fizzarolli, who also has his voice.
"You tried the solo act, it didn't work out so well!" Hallucination Fizz says with a distorted laugh as he winds him up and throws him to the ground as Blitzo coughs when the pink ink creature lands on the ground, morphing into the Hallucinations of his Ex-Girlfriends while speaking in Blitzo's voice as the Hallucination of Verosika Mayday crawled towards him seductively while the Hallucination of the Scarlett Warrior stayed behind.
"Yet you still shove away anyone who gets too close until they resent you."
"For being a selfish asshole who throws away everything the minute things get serious." Hallucination Veronika and Scarlett say with their voice gradually becoming warped and distorted as Blitzo then sees a staircase forming from the ink behind him and scrambles to it as the stairs transform into pristine white stairs with golden railings, and the Leader of I.M.P. runs up the ink-covered stairs as shiny glowing white feathers fall onto the stairs and dissolve the ink away and Blitzo trips on some residual ink and looks up, seeing Stolas sitting on a throne at the top the stairs getting fanned by two Blitzo silhouettes.
"Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy~?" Hallucination Stolas asked with a seductive grin as Blitzo began to climb the stairs on his hands and knees as two of the glowing feathers flew onto his wrists and turned into golden shackles while his clown costume turned into his normal suit with a flash of golden light.
"I believe your subconscious is trying to tell you that you simply cannot fathom proper intimacy, but...also crave it as well. It's rather unfortunate, sir, considering it's often how you treat those who stand by you...such as myself." Hallucination Doodle Moxxie says as Blitzo, who is almost to the top, has another feather slap onto his throat, turning into a golden shackle attached to golden chains while also cleaning the ink off his face and returning him fully to his normal art style as Hallucination Stolas pulls on the chains, pulling Blitzo close to him and grinning mischievously as we then cut to the bottom of the stairs from where the Striker, Fizz, Scarlett, and Verosika Hallucinations are gathered around doodle Moxxie as they then turn back into inky sludge again and flew off as Doodle Moxxie then turns into a semi-normal Moxxie, looking quite feminine while wearing a purple dress and holding a fan in one hand as his audio quality also returns to normal.
"Are you worried I may have enough of it one day as well? As well as Lazlo? Millie? Ratchet? And...Loona?"
"STOP...FUCKING TALKING, ALL OF YOU!" A tearful Blitzo screams as Hallucination Moxxie gets angry and closes his fan as he dissolves into gold dust and blows away.
~[Lazlo's Hallucination]~
"Do you really love my Daughter? Or do you only see her as a cheap lay?" Hallucination Blitzo asked with a scowl as Lazlo growled at him angrily. "Don't lie to me, asshole!"
~[Ratchet's Hallucination]~
"You are not worthy of my love!" Hallucination Octavia says as she glares at a panting and panicking Ratchet. "Did you ever think that I would date someone like you?! Please, I'm the Future Demon Queen of the Goetia Household! I would NEVER date a loser and a murderer like you! Stay in your place!"
~[Real World]~
We then cue back to the D.H.O.R.K.S. Interrogation Room as we see the I.M.P. Crew drooling, locked in their respective trips as Agents One and Two look at them from behind the glass, drinking soda and eating popcorn.
~[Blitzo's Hallucination]~
"You're going to die alone, Blitzo." Hallucination Scarlett says as Hallucination Stolas turns into gold dust and blows away as his throne and its feathered surroundings also meet the same fate, and the unseen hallucinations begin taunting a shaking and panicking Blitzo.
"You're going to die aloooo-one, Blitzy!"
"You're gonna die alone, Blitzo!" Stolas and Fizz say as, in the sky above, all of the ink creatures swirl together and the gold dust that was once Stolas and his throne ascend and joins the multicolored vortex above as Blitzo is surrounded by a tornado of golden feathers, which surround and stick to him as the hallucinations keep repeating, 'You're gonna die alone, Blitzo!', and Blitzo is covered in feathers until his arms are bound together and his mouth is covered as he opens his mouth in a silent scream, tearing the feathers away.]
~[Moxxie's Hallucination]~
"Whyyyyyy, Moxxie, whyyyyyy have you held your true feelings insiiiiiide?" Hallucination Blitzo asked as Moxxie set candelabra down on a table.
"I am scared of rejectioooooon!"
"Whyyyyyy, Moxxie, whyyyyyy do you have Millie put it in your buuuuuutt?"
"It gives me an erectio-Heyyyy!"
"Noooooo need to hiiiiide! We accept your true feelings, so promise meeeeee!"
"That I can dooooo!" Moxxie sang as he began walking towards the stairs.
"To be truuuuue the world is your anus, so peg it with honesty!"
"Ohhhh..." Moxxie sang as he walked up to Hallucination Blitzo and joined him in playing the organ.
"I've been a jackass, it's truuuuuue!"
"You've been a jackass, it's truuuuuue!"
"But soon as we're back as ourseeeeelves..."
"I will be a better friend than I was before!
"Be better at speaking my miiind, aaaaand..."
"Togetheeeeer, we can begin to become...fiiine!" Moxxie and Hallucinonation Blitzo sang as they smiled at each other.
~[Lazlo's Hallucination]~
"Big Brother, why did you leave me behind? Why couldn't you take me with you?" The Hallucination of Lazlo's Sister says as Lazlo teared up.
"I-I'm sorry, I couldn't, I don't have a stable enough life to-,"
"I DON'T CARE! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE HERE ANYMORE! LET ME BE FREE!"
~[Ratchet's Hallucination]~
"I'm going after you, Ratchet," Chameleon says with a sinister grin on her face as she stalked up a scared and rageful Ratchet. "I'm gonna kill all of your friends and family soon enough! Just you wait!"
~[Real World]~
"Try one," Millie says to Loona as we see them and Sable walking up to a three-by-four 12-digit keypad as the Imp leans in closer and sees that the 1 button is the only one that shows any wear while the other buttons are untouched as Blitzo's Daughter presses 1 five times and the door slides open, revealing a reception desk as the girls look to each other in affirmation and run inside with Millie vaulting over the desk as the door slams shut behind them and we then cue back to the boys as we see that their respective trips have worn off and they slowly wake up as the I.M.P. Crew glances up to see that the truth gas is no longer being pumped into the room and all of them are silent for a moment.
"Do you remember what you said to me after my first day with the company?"
"...Not really."
"I remember," Moxxie says as he has a nostalgic smile on his face. "You told me I did a good job and that you were proud to work with me. I feel like you wanted to say something more judgmental, but...you said that because I needed it...and it helped."
"Look, I'm hard on you because I know what you're capable of, Mox. You care too much about what everyone thinks except for...me, because, y'know, my opinion is correct, but just...keep doing a good job. 'Kay? You shoot 'n kill good, you escape things easy...you can be strategic and cold-blooded when you need to."
"Thank you, sir." A grateful Moxxie says as Blitzo rolls his eyes.
"You know my name...use it."
"Thanks, Blitzo," Moxxie says as Blitzo then turns to Ratchet.
"As for you, I don't care what bullshit insecurities you have. I don't give a shit what you are. You earned your spot here, Ratchet, just like everyone else."
"Thanks, Boss," Ratchet says with a warm smile as a guilty Lazlo turns to Blitzo.
"Look, Blitz-,"
"Lazlo? Do you truly care about Loona? With all of your heart? She isn't just a piece of ass for you to fuck with before tossing her to the side when you grow bored of her?" Blitzo asked seriously as Lazlo frowned and shook his head.
"No, I truly love Loona with all of my heart. While she is hot...like extremely sexy. I mean, damn, she has the greatest pair of tits and it's so tight when I-,"
"Don't push it..."
"Uh, right, look, I do care about Loona and I want us to be more than just Fuck Buddies. In fact, I'm planning to take her out on a date soon to make our love official." Lazlo stated sincerely as Blitzo frowned and sighed heavily as he grumbled.
"If that's the case then...I will allow you to date my Daughter...but I swear to Satan that if you break her heart or make her cry, there's nowhere in all of the Seven Rings of Hell that can protect you from my wrath." Blitzo says with a deadly serious and threatening tone as Lazlo flinches and sweats nervously as he nods just as they hear muffled pounding coming from the ceiling as Millie crashes through the ceiling, landing with a superhero pose.
"THERE'S my Millie!"
"Oh, wow, superhero landing." A surprised Lazlo says as Blitzo blinked slowly.
"Hey, was that a superhero landing?" Blitzo asked as Ratchet gave her a worried look.
"Are your knees okay?"
"Boys, you're here." A relieved Millie says while going over to untie the boys as they all get up from the floor. "It took forever for-Oh, Satan, that did hurt my knees," Millie says with a pained hiss as she bends down to rub her knees.
"Yeah, that will happen," Lazlo says with a knowing tone as Blitzo gives her a curious look.
"Impressive work, Mills. How'd you get here all by yourself?" Blitzo asked as an angry Loona smashed through the one-way window using Agent Two as a makeshift battering ram.
"LOONIE?!/BABE?!
"Get your asses out here before MORE FUCKERS SHOW UP!" Loona screamed while throwing Agent Two at Agent One as he stood behind her in shock and leaped forward to land on the ground while dropping her backpack as Blitzo gave her a stern look.
"After we go back home, we are going to have a serious talk about you having a secret boyfriend, missy!"
"What-YOU TOLD HIM?!" A shocked and blushing Loona asked Lazlo, who shrugged as he laughed awkwardly.
"It just slipped out, but don't worry, he's cool with us dating."
"Team, we got bad guys incoming!" Sable yelled while leaping through the opening to land on the ground as Agent One weakly presses a button, setting off an alarm as the I.M.P. Crew turned as a few disposable mooks drop from the ceiling holding Japanese weapons before even more cartoonishly sliding in from the sides and encircle them as the I.M.P. Crew grew serious and shared a maniacal grin as Blitzo brandished his trusty flintlock pistol, Lazlo began twirling around two of his Chain-Sickles, Moxxie pulled out twin submachine guns, Millie twirled around her giant double-headed axe with the 'M' in the middle, Ratchet activated the chainsaw blade function on his Mark 3 Lancer Assault Rifle, Loona got down on all fours and growled as Sable cocked her Mark 1 Lancer Assault Rifle and the I.M.P. Crew got into the battle poses, ready for a smackdown.
"Get on your knees!"
"I'm not your mother last night!" Ratchet says as the others laugh amusedly.
"Ooookay, I've had one too many emotions for today! Guys...let's FUCK these FUCKERS UP!" Blitzo ordered as Lazlo and the others gained an evil, toothy smile and nods.
"Yes, sir!" The I.M.P. Crew exclaimed in unison as they then ran over to attack the D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents.
Letting out a loud battle cry, one of the D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents attempts to strike Blitzo with the sickle end of his kusarigama, only for Loona to catch it in her mouth and yank hard, throwing the wielder across the room to hit an agent with a katana as a Female D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent attempts multiple strikes at Loona with her naginata, but she was thankfully protected by Lazlo zooming forward and twirled around to not only block all of her attacks with his Chain-Sickles but also slashed apart the agent as Loona ran over to grab the dropped Kusarigama and twirled around to slash apart a bunch of D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent to death.
Laughing crazily, Millie jumps up high into the air and twirls in the air with her axe, and goes for an agent wielding a katana as he tries to block her attack but is unsuccessful as the axe easily breaks through his sword and he is cleaved in half, splattering blood and brain matter around her as the Imp sees a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent with a two-handed sword running towards her, so she runs up to him and dismembers him in two quick swings as Millie uses her axe to deflect incoming shuriken and swings at their thrower, but he backflips away as another D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent with a sword runs at her, only to be shot to death by a smirking Sable as more and more D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents appeared to try and swing their weapons at them, but the girls jumps and flips in the air and lands with a pose as Millie and Sable then briefly clash with the sword-wielding agents before taking off their entire lower half as the shuriken thrower makes a second attempt, but he is easily shot back by Sable as Millie then happily runs off while spinning her axe as the D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent she dismembered earlier is seen helplessly flailing his bleeding stumps.
Glaring determinedly, Blitzo, Moxxie, and Ratchet stood back to back while firing and slashing a multitude of D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents coming their way as the Leader of the I.M.P. Crew discards his flintlock pistol, and reaches for the backpack while the others gave him cover and Moxxie unloads his submachine guns in a wide arc before disposing of them as Blitzo hands him two golden revolvers that he uses to great effect and a smirking Ratchet briefly flew around the boys with the help of his wings as he slashed apart various D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent with his Mark 3 Lancer Assault Rifle's chainsaw blade as he then morphed it back into its default form to fire several bullets at the agents, and Blitzo, meanwhile, pulls out a vicious-looking knife and runs off, stabbing one D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent to death while decapitating another.
"Okay, leather boys, let's rumble! AHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA!" Ratchet laughed evilly while shooting multiple D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents as he then paused a bit. "One more!" Ratchet ordered while gunning down a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent with many bullet holes in him as Blitzo and Moxxie grinned approvingly. "Rest in pieces!"
"EAT! MY! ASS!" Blitzo screamed while briefly pulling out his phone and taking a selfie with D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent's severed head before throwing the head to the ground as Moxxie fires his revolvers until they're spent, then he viciously beats one agent to death with the butt of one of them before discarding them as Ratchet fired a bunch of bullets and tossed his weapon over to Moxxie before flying over to slash apart a bunch of D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents with his sharp wings while Millie's Husband blasts two more agents with his borrowed weapon as Blitzo shoulders the backpack so it sits on his chest and the trio turn to each other and nod before Moxxie tossed Mark 3 Lancer Assault Rifle over to Ratchet while his Boss tossed him his Angelic Riffle as they ran off in different directions.
Back with the lovebirds, we see Blitzo slithering up into Loona's hair and shooting a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent with a crossbow as a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent swings at her with a sword, but Lazlo flew over to latch onto his sword and raised his tail to pierce it into the agent's chest and raised him up into the air to toss him away as, when Blitzo jumps away, Loona turns and delivers a powerful uppercut to the jaw of another sword-wielding D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent, sending him up into the air as a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent with twin sais comes at her and the Hellhound crouches down before leaping towards him, biting down so his entire head is in her mouth as she briefly shakes him back and forth before throwing him and a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent rushed over to try and hit her with a KanabÅ, but Lazlo stretched his tail over to wrap around his weapon and yanked it off his grip as he latched onto it and swiftly used it to decapitate the D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent's head as Blitzo tossed a couple of energy rifles to the Young Couple, who grabbed them and stood back to back as they whirled around to blast apart a bunch of D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents.
"HA, HA, HA, EAT MY DUST, FUCKERS!/DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS!" Lazlo and Loona screamed in unison with bloodthirsty grins on their faces until the Hellhound noticed Blitzo staring at her in adoration as he gained starry eyes.
"What?"
"I am just so damn proud of you, Loonie!" Blitzo says while hugging Loona's face and kissing her cheek. "Bye, sweetie!" Blitzo says before slithering off of Loona, who growls angrily at his affection as she then bites down on another agent's head and throws him before cocking her energy rifle as Lazlo gives him a blushing smirk.
"I wish that energy rifle was my penis~,"
"If it were, you could call me Ernest Hemingway~,"
"I don't get it, and I don't need to~," Lazlo says while flying up to land in Loona's arms and hugging her as he began making out with her, and she eagerly kissed him back with her tail wagging around in her arousal as a disapproving Blitzo appeared.
"Okay, enough of that! Lazlo, you're with me!" A stern Blitzo says while stretching his tail over to wrap around Lazlo's waist and pulling him out of Loona's arms as he dragged him away, much to the lovebirds' annoyance as Loona growled at him in anger and embarrassment before seeing a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent carrying nunchaku running at them but is blindsided as Loona quickly shot at him.
"Watch out!" Loona ordered as the boys gave her a thumbs up and ran over to Millie, who cut down two more D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents with her axe and twirled it with a flourish.
"Hey, Mills!" Lazlo says as Millie turns to smile at them cheerfully.
"Hey, Lazlo! Hey, Blitz! Just one sec!" Millie says while jumping and swinging her battle axe over to decapitate a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent and cuts a leg off of a Female D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent holding sais, relieves a male sai-wielding D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent of his lower torso, then twirls her axe to completely eviscerate a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent holding a straight sword and poses as Blitzo appears to the side with the backpack still strapped to his chest and offers Millie a pump-action shotgun.
"Do you need a gun or anything?"
"Nah, I'm good!" Millie says reassuringly while spinning to the side, taking off the lower legs of a Female D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent with kusarigama then eviscerating her as she swings her axe as leverage for a leap onto another Female D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent, wrapping her legs around her neck and decapitating at least two more agents with her axe as Millie severs the leg of the D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent she's held onto, who then collapses before Millie begins strangling her with her thighs as Lazlo flew to the side and held out a bottle of water.
"How about some water then?"
"Sure!" Millie says as Lazlo squeezes the bottle, squirting its contents into her open mouth as she beams. "Ahhh, thanks, Lazlo, you're a doll!" Millie says while snapping the D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent's with her thighs as she raises her head to kiss Lazlo's cheek. "And thanks for your concern, Blitz!"
"No problemy, Millie-Billie!" Blitzo says as Millie jumps back to her feet and runs off to murder even more agents as Loona and Sable stand back to back as they share a look and gain a wolfish grin before they are covered with a swirling flash of blue and purple lights as the Hellhounds magically transform into their Full Demon Forms.
Standing before them is Loona transformed into her Full Demon Form, which consists of her taking the appearance of a 10-feet-tall Demonic Wolf with three pairs of eyes that have red scleras and white irises as she has grey eyeshadows and black winged eyeliners, long voluminous silver hair swept to the side to reveal a pair of dark grey ears with white insides as the left was pieced with two small black hoop piercings while the right is ragged, black thin eyebrows as she has a piercing on her right eyebrow with a black hoop for jewelry, a pointed white dog-like muzzle with a dark grey nose and sharp/pointy teeth, a sharp chin, five black clawed limbs, messy white fur with grey countershading encircling her face and grey patches on her shoulders, a quadrupedal dog-like build with canine proportions, a large dark grey bushy tail with white on the underside, and her only pieces of her outfit consists of a tattered grey off-the-shoulder crop top and black shorts that are tattered at the hems with a white crescent moon detail on the right side.
Standing before them is Sable transformed into her Full Demon Form, which consists of her taking the appearance of a 10-feet-tall Demonic Wolf with three pairs of eyes that have yellow scleras and purple irises, a pair of huge black and white ears with pink insides, thin black eyebrows, a pointed white dog-like muzzle with a black nose and sharp/pointy teeth, a sharp chin, five black clawed limbs, messy white fur with black spots and splotches on it, a quadrupedal dog-like build with canine proportions, a large white bushy tail with black spots and splotches on it, and her only pieces of her outfit consists of a long-sleeved high-collared white opened jacket, a black strap wrapped around her body as it held a white/black Mark 1 Lancer Assault Rifle, and long black jeans.
Letting out a couple of loud roars, Loona rushed over to a group of D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents, who tried to shoot at her with arrows and shurikens, only for them to bounce off her thick hide and fur as the Hellhound then leaped over to latch onto two D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents in her jaws and bit them in half with a bunch of blood flying around as Sable jumped over to latch onto the arms of three D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents and shook them around to bash them against a bunch of D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents before ripping out their arms as Ratchet's eyes glowed purple and covered his body with a swirling flash of dark purple light as the Avian Owl Demon magically transform into his Full Demon Form.
Standing before us is Ratchet transformed into his Full Demon Form, which consists of him taking the appearance of a 12-feet-tall Demonic Owl with a black heart-shaped facial disk as he has a pair of almond-shaped pupilless purple eyes, a large black beak, a huge pair of muscularly thick wings, Dark Purple/Black Feathers, an extremely tall muscularly slim build, a long plume-like dark purple/black feathery tail, a pair of muscularly slim dark purple four-clawed legs with black talons, and the only piece of outfit that he wears is his long-sleeved high-collared black opened jacket, a red tie, a black strap wrapped around his body as it held a purple/black Mark 3 Lancer Assault Rifle, and long black pants.
"Holy shit! You save the good stuff for special occasions?!" A shocked Lazlo asked as he and Blitzo watched on as Ratchet flew around and slashed apart various D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents with his wings as he also stabbed his talons into their bodies to rip them apart.
"Killing, mostly," Ratchet says while flying over to land before them as Blitzo grinned widely.
"What's the wind resistance on those blowjob handles?" Blitzo asked as Ratchet glanced at him and growled. "Sorry, hah, I'm just a catty bitch when I'm jealous."
"All right, let's do this. Maximum effort." Lazlo says while spinning his Chain-Sickles around as Blitzo pulls out a submachine gun and a shotgun as they gain sadistic smiles and lightly glowing eyes.
"Now, who wants some quality time with Daddy?" Blitzo asked while they stood in front of a bunch of D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents ready to kill as the Leader of the I.M.P. Crew spun his guns and ran at a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent with sais, and leaps on him, firing at five agents with his shotgun before blasting the one he's grabbed onto as Lazlo flew ahead and avoided a bunch of shurikens and arrows from a bunch of D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents as he spun around his Chain-Sickles and twirled around to slash apart a bunch of D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent's heads off their bodies before landing on the ground and snapped his Chain-Sickles over to wrap around a couple of D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents and used his Super Strength to lift them up into the air as he twirled around and slammed them against several D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents as we see a panicking and nervous Agents One and Two attempting to flee the building just as the corpse of a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent hit the floor, a femur sticking out where his leg should be and his katana falling down and impaling him in the chest.
"Good God! Why are we only usin' weapons from Japan's Edo Period?!"
"Hey! The Edo period was badass, and you know it!" Agent Two snapped as Agent One sighed heavily.
"Dammit, you're right!"
"LOOK OOOOUT!" Agent Two screamed while pulling Agent One down to the floor with her as Millie cheered loudly while riding around on Sable, who ran forward as the Imp used her battle axe to slash off a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent's head and Loona ran past them as Lazlo appeared out of nowhere and flew over to land on her back as he twirled his Chain-Sickles around and used his weapons to slash apart a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent with twin nunchaku to send his limbs and blood to spatter across the whole area as Loona then leaped over to latch onto a nunchaku-wielding D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent's neck with her teeth and shook him around violently as Moxxie stood on a pile of dead D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents, blasting agent after agent with his shotgun and screaming bloody murder as he flips one agent into the air with his tail, causing him to spin, and then he blasts him away as more agents run at him, only for Ratchet to fly onto the scene and slammed his wings down into the ground to create a big gust of wind as the Imp climbed up his body and stood on top of his head as he filled a bunch of D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents with numerous buckshots.
"BIIIITCHES!"
"Hey, guys," Blitzo says while suddenly appearing next to a startled Moxxie as he accidentally drops his shotgun, and it lands on its buttstock, accidentally going off but hitting a D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent's crotch as the unfortunate agent weakly reaches a hand up at a stunned Moxxie. "Ohhh, wow. Really goin' for the dick there, ain't'cha?"
"Here, I got you," Ratchet says while stabbing the D.H.O.R.K.S. Agent to death with his left wing as Blitzo glances down at him.
"Ratchet, fly me higher into the air." Blitzo ordered as Ratchet nodded and flew them up into the air as he then places the backpack in Moxxie's arms and pulls from it a comically oversized rocket launcher appropriately named, 'MY DICK'. "Oh, yeah! I'm gettin' hard holdin' this motherfucker!" Blitzo exclaimed while firing a big rocket labeled, 'PUSSY DESTROYER!', and gives an evil laugh as the rocket flies toward a group of D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents on the other side of the broken window and explodes, causing Lazlo and the girls to flinch away from the flames as Ratchet then flew them down to land on the ground and Blitzo and Moxxie jumped off to land on the ground.
"Oh, crumbs, is everyone okay?" Moxxie asked worriedly as Blitzo suddenly jumped on him.
"WOOOOOO! How's THAT for demon scum?!"
"You were amazing out there, babe." Lazlo complimented Loona, who smirked as she, Sable, and Ratchet's bodies were covered with a swirling flash of blue and purple lights as the Hellhounds and the Avian Owl Demon magically transformed back into their Default Demon Forms.
"Thanks, you too," Loona says with a sultry tone while kissing Lazlo as an annoyed Blitzo growls and goes over to separate them.
"Okay, enough of that, I maybe okay with you two dating but I don't want to see you two fuck in front of me." Blitzo says with a glare as we then cue back to the broken window and blood is dripping from the few shards left in the frame as Agents One and Two could be seen hiding under a desk as Agent Two nods at Agent One, signaling him to hit a red button next to him aptly labeled 'RED BUTTON' as this sets off an alarm and causes the entire screen to be tinted red. "Oh, shit! C'mon, fam! Let's blow this cocksicle joint!" Blitzo ordered as he and the others ran for the exit, only for the doors to close in front of them as a set of iron bars lowered in front of the doors, then a garage door closed further down, then a large steel door clamps down, lasers activate outside of it, and bathroom doors close outside of that, the vacancy indicator switching to, 'Occupied'.
"Quick! The book!" Moxxie ordered Loona, who pulled Stolas' Grimoire out of the backpack and attempted to read it.
"Shhhit! I can't...I can't read the spell in this light! I can't see dick!"
"Blitzo, pull out a flashlight or something!" Lazlo suggested as Blitzo nodded and searched through the backpack for a flashlight, only to find nothing as there weren't even any more weapons anymore.
"Shit, I forgot to pack a flashlight, and it looks like we've milked this weapon tit dry, and now we're out of badassery!" Blitzo yelled just as the silhouettes of Agents One and Two slid menacingly into view as Blitzo stood in front of his employees protectively, Moxxie and Millie hugged each other worriedly, Lazlo stood in front of a growling Loona with his tail waving around threateningly, and spread out his wings, Sable got down on all fours and bared her teeth challengingly, and Ratchet spread out his wings with glowing purple eyes.
"Ha! You demons aren't goin' anywhere now! Haaa!" Agent Two says with a wide grin as, before the two agents can do anything, they begin noticing strange happenings around them, and the I.M.P. Crew's shadows growl and meld into a hideous beast as a screen suddenly turns on and flickers, rattling around aggressively before turning off, then showing the agents' reflections and the four-eyed silhouette of a certain someone who wasn't there before as the agents are startled as the screen breaks off of the wall, falls at their feet, and slides away as two more screens then break off of the wall while the rest shudder and display static.
"Who daaares threaten...my impish little plaything?"
"Who said that?!" Agent One asked panickedly while looking down at the floor and noticed bird-like footprints appear coming towards them as another monitor bashed Agent One in the face, removing his shades and knocking him to the floor as he turned to look at Agent Two, whose head spasmed and gained wide red eyes as her mouth slack in shock and horror, and around her, the dead bodies of the D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents stood up with their eyes completely black and empty as Agent Two tries to stop her head spasming with her hands but fails as the black-eyed bodies kneel and Agent One stands back up, his shades returned to his face and attempts to approach Agent Two, who removes her own shades and her head twists around, Exorcist style as she glanced at Agent One with sharp teeth and bloodshot red eyes as her mascara has formed sharp streaks down her cheeks.
"What's the matter, demon hunter? Never seen a REAL demon before?" Agent Two asked while speaking with both a British accent and Stolas' voice as the dead bodies of the D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents draw Stolas' summoning circle around Agent Two in their own blood, which is now dripping from their eyes and mouths as she chuckles maliciously, eye twitching and nose bleeding with Agent One looking on in terror as Agent Two's head whips back to its normal orientation and her eyes have rolled back as she throws her head back and vomits shadowy sludge and feathers as a burst of demented laughter can be heard in a variety of voices, and the D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents and the I.M.P. Crew watch on with stunned/horrified/amazed looks on their faces with a slack-jawed Loona snapping a photo as the shadows coalesce into a demonic, shadowy owl monster and the shadow beast approaches the two agents, screaming and roaring at them as they huddle together out of sheer horror and the demon beast's essence pulls back and turns into Stolas, looking at the agents with disdain as he turns away from them and clicks a button, shutting off the alarm and the red light as well as the series of doors is heard opening off-screen, and the Demon Prince walks up to the gathered I.M.P. Crew, stopping in front of a starry-eyed and blushing Blitzo as he blinked repeatedly.
"Stolas? Wha...a...wh...hold on, how did you know that we needed help?"
"I have my ways, darling. Are you alright?" Stolas asked while leaning forward, gazing into Blitzo's eyes as he placed a hand on his cheek.
"Ugh. I'm fine, Stolas." Blitzo says while rolling his eyes as Stolas smiles in relief and caresses his head.
"Mm. Good...How the FUCK...did you get caught by humans?!" An aggressive Stolas asked while pulling Blitzo's head in roughly and adopting a sharper, angrier tone. "Are you little creatures not being careful up here?! You know, if you get in trouble, I get in trouble, and we don't want that don't want that."
"They caught us off guard, Your Highness," Lazlo says with an embarrassed tone as Blitzo nods.
"Yeah, you can unclench your bird-puss, Stolas. It's not gonna happen again, 'kay?"
"Well, luckily for you, you all weren't caught by the real Human Government and were instead caught by these idiots," Stolas says while pointing over at Agents One and Two as they hold each other, shaking in fear. "No one takes these organizations seriously. I mean, the acronym of their organization is literally named D.H.O.R.K.S. Now, let us all return." Stola says as he then opened up a glowing blue dimensional portal back to the I.M.P. Office in the Pride Ring in Hell.
"Yes, please. I'd like to get back to the correct hellhole as soon as possible." Moxxie says as he and the others go through the portal as Stolas bends down and grabs Blitzo in a bridal-style position as he walks them through the portal.
"Am I going to get any thank you for the rescue, Blitzy~?"
"Well, I suppose you should. Want me to fuck your brains out a week early from our Full Moon Appointment~?"
"Very much so~," Stola says lustfully while leaning in for a kiss as Blitzo grabs the back of his head and pulls it back, causing him to blush as he moans.
"Alright, but, you're keepin' quiet, or I'm usin' those bear traps~," Blitzo says while running a finger down Stolas's face as he shudders with obvious pleasure, his feathers fluffing out.
"Ohhhh, please do~," Stolas says while he and Blitzo partake in a French kiss as the glowing blue dimensional portal closes behind them, and Agents One and Two watches as they leave.
"..So, what now?" Agent Two asked with a traumatized tone as Agent One grew excited.
"What now?! We finally got the evidence we needed to prove that Hell exists and now we will be taken seriously!" A grinning Agent One says while walking over to a computer, pushing some rubble away before typing on the keyboard as five monitors go from static to showing security camera footage of the events of the last few minutes, and the first three monitors show footage of the I.M.P. crew slaughtering D.H.O.R.K.S. Agents while the fourth shows Stolas rearing over the cowering Agents One and Two in his demonic beast form before transforming into his normal form. Notably, all three of the monitors showing the I.M.P. Crew are green while the footage of Stolas is red with a cracked camera lens as the fifth monitor shows a clear image of Stolas summoning a glowing blue dimensional portal back to Hell as Agent Two walks up and the two agents put their shades back on, smiling confidently. "Nobody in corporate is ignorin' this." Agent One says while chuckling victoriously as the five screens go back to static one at a time, starting with the footage of Loona, followed by Millie, then Blitzo and Moxxie, Stolas, and finally the portal to Hell.
~[Post Credit Scene]~
"What do you want from me, Prince Azrael and the Vigilante Sinner of Hell?" Blitzo asked with a glare and crossed his arms as we fast forward in time, and we see him in his office with Valkon and Prince Azrael sitting before him with serious glares on their faces.
Sitting before him is a 6'5-feet-tall, 35-year-old (Physically), 26-year-old (Mentally) Male Sinner Demon as he resembles a humanoid gargoyle with a giant eye that is currently closed as he also has two other eyes placed below it and all of them have red scleras and black pupils, long shaggy spiky black hair that reaches down to his back and a pair of dark blue horns planted on his head, pointy ears, a small nose, a wide mouth with a row of white sharp teeth and a pair of large white fangs, a sharp chin, a pair of dark blue muscularly slim four-fingered arms, a pair of retractable large black bat-like wings planted on his back, dark blue skin with black magic tattoos planted all across his body, a tall muscular slim build, a long dark blue tail with black magic tattoos on it, a pair of dark blue muscularly slim four-toed legs, and his outfit consists of a long-sleeved high-collared opened white/black jacket with no shirt underneath, a black belt with a silver belt buckle, long black pants, and a pair of white knee-length combat boots. His name is Bartholomew 'Barry' Drake Walker, but he has renamed himself Valkon, a highly powerful magical Sinner, the resident Vigilante of Hell who protects souls who truly deserve his help, the Hazbin Hotel's Security Guard, and Charlie, Vaggie, and Niffty's Shared Boyfriend.
Sitting before him is a 6'4-feet-tall, 224-year-old (Physically)/24-year-old (Mentally) Male Nephilim with a pair of eyes that have yellow sclera and purple irises, shoulder-length blonde hair with purple streaks in them, no ears, a small black dog-like nose, a wide mouth with sharp white teeth, rosy red cheeks, a sharp chin, six retractable black wings with purple insides, a pair of slim white four-fingered arms, White Skin, a tall muscularly slim build, a pair of slim white four-toed human-like feet, and his outfit consists of a purple/black clothing that is somewhat like that of a circus ringmaster as he wears a purple-lined and purple-trimmed black popped-collared suit with several golden buttons as his coat is worn over a light purple-and-black striped waistcoat with two golden buttons, a small accessorized black bowtie, a pair of black gloves, and a pair of black boots as he carried around a black/purple staff that can be transformed into a black/purple kanabo. His name is Azrael Morningstar, the Hellborn Prince of Hell, the Co-Manager of the Hazbin Hotel, Lucifer and Lilith's Son, and Charlie's Younger Brother who supports his sister's dream but is skeptical too due to lack of evidence but nowhere near as much as everyone else who doubt Charlie's dream.
"Not too good in the memory category, are you, Blitzo?" Valkon asked as he narrowed his eyes. "You knowingly broke the law with your business, illegally entering into the Human World with that Grimoire, ended up blowing up an entire tourist attraction, even if it was a shameless ripoff, and got caught by the D.H.O.R.K.S. Organization."
"But what breaks our hearts is that you could've been so much better than what you are."
"I've heard this spiel from tons of others already. What makes you so special?" Blitzo asked as Azrael swiftly transformed into his Partial Demon Form.
"You tell me. Remember, Blitzo, I'm the Prince of Hell, and for all of the atrocities that you've committed over the years, I could've easily put you in the deepest darkest hole in all of the Seven Rings. Not a ray of sunlight, but I kept you out."
"Why?" Blitzo asked while subtly lowering his hand to press the, 'Lucifer found out what our job is, prepare to die for good', if he needed to.
"Because my Sister and I knew the day would come when you were gonna pay our family back. Today is that day." Azrael says while morphing back into his Default Form as Blitzo narrows his eyes stoically.
"What are you saying?"
"We're saying that we want to recruit the I.M.P. to our cause. As you know, Extermination Day will come up in a month and we need your help to save Hell," Valkon says as Blitzo rolls his eyes and scoffed.
"Look, our job isn't to protect Sinner Demons. Why should we be concerned about-,"
"Because Adam is planning to break the deal that he made with King Lucifer and Queen Lilith. He wants to destroy all of Hell, including Hellborns." Valkon says firmly, surprising Blitzo as he grows nervous.
"Plus, if you help us out, we will reward you all handsomely," Azrael says while summing up a big stack of cash as Blitzo gains dollar signs.
"Hmmm...okay, we are in, but we need more weapons. Sable told us that Angels can be killed with Angelic Weapons but the only kind we have is our rifles. We are going to need a shit ton of Angelic Weapons in order to be able to fight properly. Oh, and quick question, does anyone else know about what we do?"
"That can be arranged. We were planning to give Angelic Weapons to those who can't kill Exorcists with their own power anyway, and no, only Charlie, Azrael, Vaggie, Scarlett, and I know," Valkon says as Blitzo flinched.
"Shit, Scarlett will appear? That will be a shitstorm...but we need the money and I have a feeling that if I don't accept, the Prince and Princess will sick their Daddy on us and...I don't want that." Blitzo thought to himself with a nervous gulp before composing himself as he gave the duo a cocky smirk.
"Well, if I accept this deal and I.M.P. gets caught, can you and the Princess give us a pardon?"
"Sadly, we can't. While we are powerful and our word is above the Goetias and such, we are still ranked below the Seven Deadly Sins of Man because of our status as the Prince and Princess of Hell, so we can't protect you if you are ever caught, but we can help represent you and plead for your case as your Lawyers when the time comes." Azrael suggested as Blitzo grumbled but nodded.
"Fine, if that's the best you can do, then we're in. When Extermination Day comes, the Immediate Murder Professionals will fight by your side against the Exorcists."
"Good, it's a pleasure to do business with you, Blitzo," Valkon says with a sly grin as he shakes hands with Blitzo.
And done. I hope that you guys enjoyed the chapter, and I can't wait to write the next one. Also, here is the Voice Actor for Ratchet's Full Demon Form:
Ratchet Full Demon Form's Voice Actor: Kevin Blackton, specifically when he voiced Clockwerk in Sly Cooper.
Anyway, as always, I will catch you all next time.