Interlude 4: Past, Digital and Living
Theisman Apartment, May 29th, 2015
Eleanor Theisman found in the apartment she'd been staying in for the past few months an atmosphere she'd ached for. One that all but a small part of her had given up hope of ever seeing.
It was cozy, Daniel sitting next to her on the couch a day after his birthday, leaning on her slightly as he read a book, some work of fiction that she was sure was unique to this world. Asuka sat on the floor, working away at a video game that was familiar to her, even if only through Daniel's descriptions. Rei was resting in what had once been the office, now fully her room, the deprescription taking its toll on her body and mind. She'd done the best she could to help mend her, her ministrations to Rei's soul helping to ease the process more than a little.
In other words, fraught though some portions of it were, it was… home. A home with him. Some part of her still almost couldn't believe it.
Asuka growled out a sigh as she dropped the controller, stirring Eleanor from her musings to look at the screen and see 'IHR SEID GESTORBEN', a health bar at the bottom of the screen with the name 'Ziegendämon' over it.
"Trouble on a boss?" Eleanor said with a slight smile, drawing Daniel's attention to the screen as Asuka set back on her way from the respawn point.
"Too much, really," Asuka said somewhat tersely. "This Goat-headed Demon is in the worst arena I've ever seen."
It was silent for long moments as Daniel put aside the book. As Eleanor glanced over at him, she found herself somewhat taken aback at the intensity of his gaze, how he studied the ruined town that Asuka made her way through. "Yeah," Daniel said quietly. "Real tight spot to fight something like that."
"And the two dogs!" Asuka said in exasperation as she reached a doorway wreathed in fog. "They bite at your heels and chase you up these stairs at the back of the arena. Watch for a second."
Eleanor watched as Asuka's character, wearing rather light armor and wielding a massive zweihänder, advanced through the fog door, the demon in question standing tall before Asuka's character.
It was an imposing sight indeed, standing head and shoulders taller than Asuka's character, clad in a ragged skirt and a helm fittingly shaped like the skull of a goat, two beady red eyes staring down Asuka as it held two bloody, weatherbeaten machetes.
The dogs by its side charged forward, Asuka leveraging her weapon's size to keep the foes back.
Eleanor felt a twitch on her leg and glanced over at Daniel as he twitched again, his eyes not seeing a screen, but far more likely focused a world away. The one Asuka saw? Had Daniel fought this demon? Had he killed it?
Had it killed him?
"C'mon, c'mon…" Asuka said under her breath as it tore chunks out of her health bar, running past the demon and running up the stairs doing little to keep the remaining hound after her at bay. Finally, however, as she slew the last hound, the demon slashed through the last fraction of Asuka's health bar.
Asuka growled, slapping the couch rather ineffectually. "Verdammt! Flammenseele can really kick your ass, can't it?"
She looked back up at Daniel. "You really must be eating up watching a newbie run into this guy, aren't you? Got any tips, Mr. game completer?"
Daniel finally tore his gaze away from the screen, smiling slightly. "Well, your favorite weapon's clearly not suited for the arena. I personally used magic, but that's a little outside of your character's wheelhouse. I'd say find something a little shorter and a little quicker."
Asuka sighed, but nodded. "Well, I'll look around my inventory, see what I can find…"
As she turned her focus back to the game, Eleanor silently linked her soul to Daniel's. "Are you alright?" she asked, feeling the simmering emotions of fear, sadness, and shame, always shame in there somewhere, that were contained underneath the cool, calm exterior.
Glancing into the hallway to ensure that Rei was still resting, she closed her eyes as she tapped into her Sight, knowing her eyes were becoming the brilliant blue of the sea in the sun. Opening her eyes, she looked at Daniel's soul, and saw…
A depth and tangle to the prismatic, pulsing wirework and vine-growth that was Daniel's soul that she hadn't seen from anyone… ever. Some parts were shadowed, much of it was 'thorny' with what was likely the remaining evidence of self repaired damage. His arms, what she could see of them, had layers like rock strata, evidence of the limbs being grown and regrown again and again.
No one could get a soul to this condition unless they were… ancient. Utterly so.
Then, a flicker of surprise flashed in Daniel's soul before shame welled up even more, Eleanor realizing that he'd seen her looking into his soul as he gently severed their connection.
"I've got a call I've got to take, Asuka," he said as Eleanor closed off her Sight. "NERV Engineering business and all. I'll be in my room for a few minutes."
With that, he rose from the couch — when had he stopped leaning on her? — and made his way to the main bedroom.
"You gonna follow him, Eleanor?" Asuka asked as the bedroom door closed behind Daniel.
Eleanor nodded. "Yeah, I suppose so," she said as she stood, trying to reach out to Daniel's soul again with an apology and… failing to find it.
As she entered the bedroom, she found it empty, slowly closing the door behind her as she looked around the space. After a moment, she caught a portion of the wall across from their bed, next to the closet, rippling slower and slower, a softly glowing outline also fading.
'A doorway,' Eleanor thought, acting nearly on instinct as she advanced, a hand held out. As she hoped, her hand, with a little resistance at first, sank through the wall. The rest of her followed, the apartment disappearing as she stepped into…
A cobblestone path in a snowy valley that led to a mighty bridge, an equally mighty city, awash and twinkling with lights, stretching into the night sky before her under a moon that couldn't have truly been that close. Its houses were towered over by intricate stone steeples, which were dwarfed by the main fortress and castle they surrounded. The castle, and a fair amount of the city that immediately surrounded it, seemed… anachronistic. As if it had been taken from one spot and gently placed here.
As Eleanor furrowed her brow in thought, she heard a gentle gust of wind, one that carried with it a chill that made her gasp, her breath pluming into the air as she fortified herself against the cold and continued to ponder while making her way to the bridge.
The world in which Asuka played in was only vaguely familiar, one she knew Daniel was familiar with and little else, but this… this was far more familiar to her. Daniel had shown her this place.
"Irithyll…" Eleanor whispered as she stood before the bridge, catching sight of several people in a fountain area on the other side. As she focused, her Sight returning to her, she could see… nothing. The people were only images. The ghosts of what she knew was a city long vacated of such… open gentleness and cheer. Let alone people.
She maintained her Sight as she began to cross the bridge, then paused as she felt another wave of… something wash over her, and she, for a moment, had no clue whether the feeling lasted only a few seconds or for days or for years. As Eleanor closed her eyes and breathed deeply, centering herself, she realized where she truly was. 'A temporal chamber,' she mused as she crossed the threshold into the city proper.
She swept her gaze through the soulless crowds, people in simple, but well-made clothing who were in the middle of celebrating a festival of some kind, several symbols, one of a radiant sun, that she couldn't quite divine the meaning of hanging everywhere as people mingled. They talked, but they did so silently, lending to the spectral atmosphere.
It felt homely, in that distant sense that came with memory. Homely, however, seemed… too small a word for the sprawling nature of the city. 'How the hell am I going to find Daniel in all of this?' she wondered as she walked. Was there some spot she'd forgotten about since they'd left home? Some place where he felt he could find solitude?
Looking around, she saw the main cathedral that seemed to act as the gatekeeper to the castle above, an old conversation flickering through her mind.
"It's actually a real pretty view up here. Once you clear out the enemies, at least."
The cathedral became her destination, and as she looked up at it with her Sight, she could swear she saw a glimmer of twinkling prismatic light far above the street where she was at the moment.
As she crossed the busy streets, the crowds began to thin as she drew closer to the mighty cathedral. For whatever reason, the main cathedral had little traffic for this festival or celebration. Maybe it wasn't centered on a religion?
She doubted she'd get any answers from this projection. Really, there was only one person to ask, she mused as she let her Sight fade away. He was here, that much was sure.
Passing through gilded gates, and going up a curving stairway, Eleanor slowed as, at last, she heard his voice, low and weary.
"I finally have her back. Or, rather, after all my running around, she hasmeback. And yet…"
As she paused near the top, her heart stopped for a moment as she heard another voice. "It doesn't seem real, does it? Like you're in the middle of a dream that you're terrified to wake up from."
The voice was calm, deep, a man's. But, as Eleanor soon realized, it was not the only one. "It must be such a burden, walking the world as you do now."
A woman's, soft but regal, a soothing and somewhat low alto. For whatever reason, that voice sent a chill through Eleanor as her Sight returned to her and she looked towards the source of the voices. No wonder the soul-glow had been so bright. It wasn't just one soul. It was three.
She heard Daniel speak again. "I have to admit… it is. But it isn't exactly why I fled here. Do you remember the old Lordranian tomes I showed you, the demonolgies especially?"
It was silent for a few moments as Eleanor crept up the stairs. "I do, though it's been a fair while," the man replied. "What have you seen? What ghosts haunt you now?"
Eleanor peeked over the edge of the new floor that overlooked the courtyard below, catching Daniel in between two other figures, who she assumed was the man a broad, tall figure dressed in the sort of practical, no-nonsense clothing that marked him out to her as a warrior, the woman thinner, almost willowy in stature and build, much of her height augmented by a well-fitted, many-layered dress, pieces of white and blue and light gray fabric gently rustling in the breeze in a way that was reminiscent of the tree she could be so easily compared to. Daniel's placement between them almost seemed comical with how small in stature he was comparatively.
Then, Daniel spoke again. "The Capra Demon. I saw it in my… well, my current little sister's latest session in playing the first of the games I've told you of."
"Ah," the woman said quietly. "That's right. They'd all but gone by the time you came to us, as I recall. We used to hang off your every word about your encounters with them."
She chuckled softly as Eleanor fully stepped onto the level that the trio occupied, remaining silent as Daniel spoke again. "There's an old saying I learned from one of my teachers from where I came from. 'Each idea must touch another to live'. He said it in the context of how something from one world in Reality can ripple out to influence others, even subtly."
Daniel looked up at the clear night sky, and Eleanor could imagine the wonder gleaming in his eyes, tempered though it might have been by time, like an ancient golden coin. "I've been remarkably blessed to see how deeply that goes. But… it's quite the trap-laden path that I've found myself on after all this time. Even in a world so far removed from this one, a single story can send my mind… echoing back in time…"
The man put a hand on Daniel's shoulder, and Eleanor slowly began to approach again. "Daniel…" she said, hating how hesitant her voice sounded.
All three started, turning to regard her. Where Daniel's eyes fell, the other two, fair-skinned faces framed by short black hair and a well-trimmed beard for the man, a dull scarlet that went down to the shoulder blades for the woman, regarded her with no small amount of curiosity.
"Eleanor…" Daniel said. "You got in. I… I'm sorry."
Eleanor felt a blush rise in her cheeks as the man and woman approached her. "You are Eleanor then," the woman said, stepping ahead of the man and extending a hand palm up.
Eleanor looked up at the woman, finding herself remarkably impressed at how the woman stood almost head and shoulders over her, and took her hand. In the surprisingly firm grip that came after, the woman turning their hands over and placing her other hand atop, Eleanor found a strength belied by her relatively thin frame.
"Sir Theisman has only ever spoke highly of you," the woman said softly. "I have always looked forward to meeting you."
"I…" Eleanor said, clearly not prepared for… anything like this. "Thank you," she finally settled on. "Who… who are you?"
"This," Daniel said, drawing Eleanor's attention back to the man as she realized he'd approached them, "is Lorana, daughter of Gwynevere and Oceiros and Lady Regent of the Boreal Valley. Her husband here is Vordt, Lord-Captain of the royal guard of Irithyll."
The second name made Eleanor's memory flicker, seemingly ancient connections twisting the man's face from friendly into something more… monstrous.
"I see," Eleanor said as she took a deep breath and nodded. "It's a pleasure to meet you as well. I apologize for intruding on your conversation."
"There's no need for apology," Vordt said firmly. "Lorana and I have a firm understanding of the little pains being so close to the one you love, and yet so far, entail. In fact…"
He looked down at Daniel, giving the man a stern glare. "Lorana and I will take our leave, and allow you some time to be with your wife."
They were words that brooked no argument, and Daniel gave them none. Thus, Vordt shepherded Lorana away from the pair, a hand on her shoulder slipping into her hand as they walked into the massive cathedral proper.
For what felt like an age, Eleanor and Daniel stood a few feet away from each other, neither stepping forward as if there was some final unseen barrier between them.
"If you need time alone," Eleanor finally said softly, "then I'll give you your space. I just-"
"No," Daniel said, perhaps a little more forcefully than he intended to based on how he drew into himself slightly. "No," he said more quietly. "I shouldn't have run off like that. I'm sorry."
Eleanor remained in place for a moment, then stepped forward, gently taking Daniel's hand. "I'm here," she said, barely above a whisper. "Benefits of catching you, after all."
Eleanor found a knot untying within herself as Daniel met her gaze. "I'm not afraid of you," she continued.
Daniel began to look away again, but Eleanor cupped his cheek gently, making him pause. "You should be," Daniel murmured.
Eleanor sighed quietly, closing her eyes and putting her forehead against his. "Maybe," she agreed. "But I've got better things to do than worry."
Daniel turned away, leading her gently to a railing that he leaned on, Eleanor joining him as they looked out at the city. "This place is beautiful," Eleanor said as she took in the vista. "Is this what it looked like at its height?"
Daniel nodded. "Yes. This place was built on the lands that Asuka's exploring even now. Irithyll grew up around Anor Londo after Lordran faded away, and the gods in residence lived side by side with their new people."
Eleanor finally saw that wonder in his eyes she could only imagine earlier, its luster enthralling her as he continued. "The snow apparently only started falling after Gwyndolin proclaimed himself the main deity of this place in his father's absence. The moon loomed large and became a cherished symbol before Gwynevere returned home and added her sun."
The luster faded, and Daniel sighed quietly. "But this is hardly a perfect copy. I made it for Lorana and Vordt after they decided to stubbornly stick with me past the end of their world."
Eleanor smiled slightly. "They seem like good friends. I'm glad you managed to find some out and about. It must have been interesting meeting them for the first time, realizing who they were."
Daniel chuckled softly. "A middle chapter in a very long story. One with no small amount of tragedy before a decent enough ending."
"I can only imagine," Eleanor replied. "How long were you here?"
Daniel's face gained… a gauntness. Almost invisible, but as if a great weight had settled on him with the asking. It was a dreadfully familiar expression to her. "From the beginning of the First Flame to its end," he said. "I watched as the Flame flickered to life in the depths of the earth, and I called upon the Fire Keeper to fully extinguish it."
Eleanor frowned as she tried to grasp the scale of it all. "How… how long is that?"
Daniel shrugged. "I couldn't tell you. Time tied itself into knots here. On top of all the time I spent elsewhere… this world's probably mostly to blame for my current state."
Daniel looked down into the courtyard. "I'm old, Elle. So old. So… so tired, some decades."
They fell silent and simply soaked in the ethereal atmosphere, careless of the time that passed for them.
"I'm impressed," Eleanor finally said, looking over at Daniel. "I've never seen a temporal chamber quite like this. Where is it?"
"It's on my ship," Daniel replied. "And it's the greatest secret the Scions ever had."
Eleanor leaned in slightly towards Daniel, a moment's concern tamped down. "How much time to the outside second?"
"That sort of measurement doesn't work for this, love," Daniel replied. "It fully separates itself from time. Asuka's finger's going to hover over the dodge button for as long as we stay in here."
Eleanor's eyes went wide as the reality of it set in. "That's… insane," she finally said, managing to find a word, imperfect as it was.
"This chamber's the first and only of its kind in all of Reality," Daniel said. "There's been more than a few people I've had to contend with once they've learned about the full nature of this room."
The comment had been filed away in a small part of her brain that somehow wasn't focused on the absolute marvel of engineering that she stood within.
"How did they tune the components to fully resist the natural timestream drag? How many computations is this thing doing to keep itself stable? I can only imagine how much trial and error went into making this…"
She trailed off, a blush coming to her cheeks. "Not that I expect you to know all of that…"
As she spoke, she looked over at Daniel and found him just… looking at her with a slight, somewhat goofy smile, gently squeezing the hand he held. "I've missed this," he said simply, lifting her hand in his and brushing his lips over her knuckles. "Whatever else… god, I hope this is real."
Eleanor smiled, feeling tears well up in her eyes. "It is, first of all," she said as firmly as she could manage. "And second of all, if you're willing to look, look at my soul. I'm pretty sure you can't make that up."
There was a hesitation in Daniel's expression before she saw the stars in his eyes, Eleanor knowing that she was being studied by him, perhaps more closely than she'd ever been before.
Then, after long moments, he closed his eyes as he sighed quietly. "I suppose I can't really dispute that," he said quietly. "And yet…"
Eleanor squeezed Daniel's hand, worry flickering to life in her. "What is it?"
Daniel's jaw clenched. "You remember the Brain Breaker courses?" he asked quietly.
Eleanor felt a lump form in her throat. The Mental Assault, Injury, and Understanding course that all Worldstriders went through before they were deployed was 4 real-time weeks, agonizingly stretched into nearly 3 years through temporal chambers like the one that they stood in, of showing trainees the myriad ways that the mind could see the world, willingly and less so, and how to deal with and heal such things through the power of their souls. It earned the moniker that Daniel applied to it in remarkably terrifying fashion.
Eleanor nodded silently, and she saw Daniel choked back a sob. "That's what it was. What… whatitput me through. Every year, every day, every singlesecond. At the end, when… when you freed me… I couldn't even trust my own soul."
Finally, it seemed that words were not enough, tears streaming down his face as he bowed his head and looked away.
Eleanor did the hardest thing she could at that moment, and let go of his hand. Her only comfort was that it was in the service of drawing Daniel into a tight embrace. She squeezed as tight as she dared, some part of her doing her best to try and bring the broken pieces of the man she loved back together. Daniel's sobs pushed back against her arms, as if he were unconsciously trying to break free.
They stood there for as long as they needed, Eleanor binding Daniel's soul to hers and taking in the towering grief that seemed ready to burst from Daniel's body. She met it calmly, far more calmly than she'd fully expected, and radiated her love, undiluted by word or thought, into Daniel's stormy soul like a lighthouse in the tempest.
Time, such as they perceived it, passed them by without care. Eleanor would stand where she was forever if she needed to. And perhaps she did, to some small extent, as Daniel's sobs, his grief, began to fade from his eyes and soul.
Daniel's arms finally wrapped around her, returning her embrace as they simply… took each other in. They needed no words, no grand or subtle gestures of their love. They simply understood each other, down to the fundaments of their souls. And that would be more than enough for both of them.
Finally, they drew apart from each other, Daniel wiping an eye and a cheek dry, while Eleanor spared him a little effort by wiping the other.
"Much as I'm sure I sound like a broken record," Daniel said, his voice husky before he paused to clear his throat, "I'm sorry. If there's anyone I shouldn't have doubted, it's you."
Eleanor smiled slightly. "After what you've been through, I can be patient. Take your time."
Daniel took a deep breath and shook his head slightly. "I've done enough of that. You're here, and you're here now, that much I can be certain of. Right now, let's leave the past in the past. There's going to be enough time to reminisce later."
He grabbed her hand. "So, I think It's time we take our leave. I'd dispel the simulation and have us just walk out… but where's the fun in that?"
With that, they walked away from the mighty cathedral, going down the streets of Irithyll hand in hand.
"Much as you talked about leaving the past in the past," Eleanor said, "I know how you work. I'm sure you've got plenty of stories to share."
Daniel chuckled. "Enough to fill a thousand on a thousand libraries. And I'll share them in their due time."
Daniel looked around. "It's been an enlightening life. One that's given me a lot of time to explore what it looks like."
He looked over at Eleanor with a slight grin. "30 years as a woman makes for a very enlightening experience, if nothing else."
Eleanor's brows arched. "You were a woman?" she said somewhat incredulously.
"I've been man and woman, young and old, human, alien, and many, many things in between," Daniel replied, looking out across the causeway that they walked down. "I've had countless names, countless faces. But every time, no matter how long it takes, I return to this. Daniel Theisman. The truth of my soul."
Eleanor leaned into Daniel for a moment. "Well, Daniel Theisman's who I fell in love with and married, so I'm glad you got back around to him." she paused for a moment. "And you might have me beat, but I'll have to tell you about how I went undercover as a guy for a few days. That was… an experience."
Daniel hummed as a brow arched. "That you will."
Finally, they came to the bridge, Lorana and Vordt standing there waiting for them.
"I suppose that this is farewell for the time being," Lorana said, a slight smile on her face. "You have a duty to return to."
"That we do," Daniel replied. "I'm glad to have gotten to talk to you, but you'll only have Ayre to keep you company. For now, at least."
"She's a fair companion," Vordt replied. "Whenever you return, we will be waiting. Go and do what you both must."
Before Daniel and Eleanor could pass by them, Lorana held out a staying hand. "There is one thing I wish to ask of you. Especially you, Daniel."
Daniel looked up at Lorana. "What would you ask of me, my lady?" he asked.
"Cherish this," Lorana said softly. "You've given us an incalculable gift. Don't turn it away for yourself."
Daniel bowed slightly. "Far be it from me to spurn the wishes of the Lady Regent. I shall try my best to keep your wish true."
Lorana smiled slightly. "Then farewell, Daniel. Until we meet again." she paused meaningfully. "All of us."
With that, the two souls before them faded from sight. After sharing a glance, Daniel and Eleanor crossed the bridge, the world fading around them.
As they finished crossing, Eleanor took in the cool blue, slightly luminous panels of a dome-shaped room maybe 200 square feet in size. As she studied the room, the glow of the panels faded, and Eleanor guessed that they had returned to the regular flow of time.
"Well," Daniel said. "Back to the real world. Hope Asuka manages to beat the Capra Demon this time."
Eleanor smiled slightly. "Let's hope."
With that, Daniel walked over to a wall, placing a hand on it and making the wall ripple as a door-shaped outline glowed. Hand in hand, they walked through…
And were back in the apartment, in their bedroom. They waited there silently for a few minutes, to lend a little credence to the explanation Daniel had given Asuka for their disappearance. The silence gave them a chance to hear Asuka's half-muttered cursing as she navigated some perilous section.
"So," Eleanor said quietly, "was that about what you sounded like going through that area?"
"Well," Daniel said with a slight, weary sigh and a roll of his eyes, "it was more of a mental dialogue, but you're not too far off the mark. The Capra Demon certainly left its fair share of those."
A few minutes later, they emerged from the bedroom, returning to their place on the couch as Asuka stepped through the fog gate to fight the Capra Demon again.
"How was your call?" Asuka managed to ask before getting to work on the boss fight with a somewhat smaller sword.
"Oh, the usual engineering stuff," Daniel replied as he opened his book again. "Someone just had a few questions we could answer for them."
Asuka hummed as she focused on the hounds, dodging the demon's attacks as she finished off the hounds before dashing up the stairs. "I think I've got it now," Asuka said, leaning back against the couch as she settled into a brief, brutally effective rhythm of dropping on the demon's head.
"Wondergirl still hasn't gotten out of bed quite yet," Asuka said, glancing up at a clock that told them it was well into the afternoon. "After this boss, I'm going to check on her. Make sure I don't die if I get invaded, okay Bruder?"
Daniel nodded, a slight smile on his face. "I'll do my best."
Eleanor couldn't help but smile in turn. After what she'd witnessed of this world, typical exaggerations of the artform aside, seeing how Asuka turned out with Daniel's guidance confirmed something that was a great comfort to her; even if his time imprisoned in his own body had taken every shred of confidence in himself, his confidence in others seemed to have been unshakable.
'Still have a long way to go,' she mused as Asuka beat the boss, standing from her position and handing Daniel her controller before making her way to Rei's room. 'And plenty of men and Angels in between us and the other side of this whole mess. But I think we can make it.'
Even if the Scions were here, as Daniel had told her in recent weeks. Though she didn't show it, a darkness settled briefly over her mind, and she found Daniel's arm, squeezing it gently as he explored the immediate arena where the Capra Demon had been felled. Hopefully, they could both deal with them, and this world would be none the wiser.
She wasn't so foolish to be certain of that, though. Especially if these Scions had a habit of doing things loudly.