Chapter 9 - Threads

When they got back to camp, Volo was waiting for them. Del had actually forgotten about the writer and had to stop her sigh of annoyance when he ran up to her and started talking excitedly about what a hero she was and how he would write about her accomplishments and good deeds. On and on he talked, until Del held up her hand, finally getting him to stop.

"Volo, I need you to take a really good look at me right now," she said, calmly. "Take all of this in, okay?" She gestured to her entire body, covered in mud and blood. "When you see this, it is not a good time for you to come over here and talk to me."

"Well, when should I approach you, precisely," he asked, dumbfounded.

"Probably tomorrow," she answered honestly. "After I've bathed, had food, and slept. Otherwise, you're this close to being my next target." She held up her still bloodied blade, an inch shy of his large nose.

"I take your meaning," Volo gulped, before scurrying away. It wasn't long until he spotted Gale, though, and went over to bother the wizard about the food he was prepping for dinner.

Everyone else was already at their tents, except Astarion, who had wandered off again. Probably to hunt.

Del walked over to her tent and began to take off her armor. She would need to clean it yet again. Her clothes hadn't fared any better, but she could easily wash them in the river when she bathed. She grabbed her back up clothes, as well as soap and a towel to take with her to the river's edge. The blood had already dried on her and was starting to flake from her skin, but her hair was still goopy with some unknown substance she'd rather not think about. She needed a real bath.

She turned to the camp and called out, "I'm going to wash up," before heading to the river. She undressed completely this time and laid her soiled clothes on the ground, before walking into the river. The water here was slow moving, thankfully, and she managed to submerge herself up to her hips, so it wasn't super deep. She had to dunk the rest of her body into the water. She came back up with a gasp. Gods, it was cold. She took the soap and hurriedly ran it over her body and hair. The suds covered her skin and turned pink as the blood rehydrated and began to run down her body. She paid extra attention to her hair, not wanting anything to be left behind. She had to use her fingers to comb through it, since she lacked a comb. Soon she was dunking again and she stayed underwater for a minute before coming back up, flipping her hair out of her face.

Shadowheart stood on the bank waiting for her and Del had to hold back a gasp as she quickly ducked back into the water. "Shadowheart, what the fuck?"

"I walked over right when you went under. I got worried when you didn't come back up. Are you okay?"

"Fine. I did say I was washing up." She ran her hands over her face to dispel more water.

"Right," the half elf shuffled awkwardly on the shore. "I could do with a good wash myself."

Seeing her hesitation, Del rolled her eyes. "You are more than welcome to join me."

"Are you sure? I don't want to bother you if you want to be alone."

"It's fine Shadowheart. I just don't like being startled. You can come in if you want." The Sharran was eyeing the water warily, and Del stood up to show her how shallow the water really was. "It's slow moving water, too, so it's perfectly safe."

Shadowheart nodded and began to undress. Del turned slightly to give her some privacy. She wasn't a prude, but staring at her wouldn't have been any better. When Shadowheart entered the water, she offered the soap, which she took with gratitude. As she worked on cleaning herself, Del sank back into the water, letting the liquid buoy her body as she stared up into the sky.

When Shadowheart was done, she handed back the soap, neatly tied back up in its bag. Del took it from her and moved back up onto the embankment, water sloughing off of her in a wave. She picked up her towel and quickly dried off before putting on the clean set of clothes. As she reached for her dirty ones, Shadowheart stopped her. "Leave it. I'll have Gale use a prestidigitation spell on it to get it clean. You won't be able to get the blood off it any other way."

"Oh, right. I forget I'm surrounded by magic users sometimes."

"You never picked up any magic yourself," she asked, rinsing her hair.

"Nah, I have no knack for it. Got tested for it and everything when I was a Fist." She gestured towards the camp. "I'll make sure no one wanders over until you're done."

When Shadowheart nodded, she made her way back to her tent, dropping off her towel and soap.

Volo was still talking Gale's ear off, and when the wizard turned to lock eyes with her, she mouthed, "sorry" to him before checking on Halsin. He was sitting by the fire, half reclined, and seemed to be keeping to himself. Del sat near him, but not close enough to be intrusive, with her back to the fire. She worked her fingers through her hair, trying to get it to dry faster. Halsin was eyeing her, but said nothing.

"Once Shadowheart is done, all of you boys can get washed up next. I'm sure you want the goblin guts off of you as soon as possible," she said.

Halsin tilted his head at her. "I haven't been a boy in many years. But I will be glad to get clean, yes."

Del snorted. "I use the word boy interchangeably with man, Halsin. It has nothing to do with age." She narrowed her eyes at him. "Unlike with you calling me a child."

"No offense," he said, holding his hands up. "Being an elf and an archdruid, it's become a habit." He looked around to the other party members, whom he had been introduced to on their walk back to camp. "Though, I will say, as a fellow leader, you have quite a group behind you. It's impressive."

"I didn't really ask to be leader," she said after a moment. "It kinda just happened since I was the one that collected everyone together." She glanced at him. "So don't be too impressed."

"Thanks to you and your people, the Grove and the tieflings are safe again. How can I not be impressed?"

"You did help with that," she reminded him.

"I wouldn't have been able to get out of there without your help," he countered. "They managed to capture me, remember?"

"There were a lot of goblins," she agreed. "I still can't believe we killed them all. Seems like such a waste of life."

"Thanks to their god, the Absolute, there was no saving any of them. You made the right choice to take them all down."

Del nodded, knowing he was right. She didn't have to like it, though.

Halsin's eyes focused on something beyond her, a furrow in his brow. "Is your pale friend alright?"

"Hmm?" She turned her head to see what he was looking at, her hands paused in her now mostly dried hair. Astarion had returned at some point and was now standing in front of his tent. He was swaying a little from side to side, and he looked a little bit too happy. "Huh. I'm not sure? I've never seen him like that before." She turned back to Halsin. "Excuse me for a moment."

She stood and walked over to Astarion. He smiled as soon as he spotted her. "There you are! My friend," he greeted her, giggling. The swaying was even more pronounced now.

"Are… you okay," she asked him. "You look drunk."

"I have drunk. Not alcohol, of course. A bear. He took a little of my blood, I took all of his." He was still giggling to himself.

Del turned to eye Halsin, who was luckily being distracted by Volo, now that Gale had freed himself. She turned back to Astarion and shook her head. "I see you were inspired by our adventure today. Having first hand experience, I'm surprised you went after such a dangerous animal."

"Any meal worth having is dangerous. It's nothing compared to-," he stumbled here, realizing he didn't have much to compare it to. "Well, uh, other things I could be dining on. But significantly better than the rats and bugs Cazador served me."

"I'll have to take your word for it," Del told him, crossing her arms.

"Blood is life essence. And some creatures have so much more life than others." He eyed her up and down almost suggestively. "Cazador gave me just enough to keep me - well, 'alive,' for lack of a better word. But never more than that. Still, that was the past. I'll never have to grovel for him again."

"No, you won't," she agreed. She'd make damn sure of it. "You can be better than what he made you."

"Exactly! I can be better than him. Stronger. More powerful. More-" he paused. "Oh, you meant 'be kinder'? Pet bunnies, that sort of thing? I've no objection to being nice, of course. Once I have the power to bend others to my will."

Del shook her head at him. This conversation was going in the wrong direction. "You're free now. That's what matters."

"Is it?" He looked unsure. "What good is freedom if I'm always watching the shadows? No, I'll be safe when I'm powerful enough to grind Cazador into dust. Powerful enough to do whatever the hell I want."

This was an awful line of thinking coming from someone who could actually replace Cazador in the future. She needed to put a stop to this line of thinking.

"Power has a cost," she argued. "I thought you would understand that, considering the powers you have right now are thanks to that worm in your head."

"Ugh, why do you have to be buzz kill," he sneered at her. "People like you are half the damn problem. Fools that believe in right and wrong - good and evil. Yet, who saved me from Cazador? Mind flayers did. They gave me a gift: the strength to take my own freedom. I'm embracing this power - you should too."

His tirade weighed on her. All she ever strived to do in her life since arriving in Faerun was be better, do better. More than she had ever done when she was on Earth. She didn't consider herself a real hero, of course. She still did questionable things in order to survive, but she liked to think she helped those who really needed it. Of course, her first encounter with the spawn that stood in front of her and all she could do was distract him long enough he wasn't able to get a victim for that night. She knew what he was compelled to do. Over and over again. That he was trapped. A slave. She couldn't have saved him.

No, she couldn't do anything to mess with the timeline. That was the real truth. Not only was she thrown into another world, but had been transported years before the events of the game had happened. She had had no choice. As soon as she saw him, she knew. He had to stay where he was, so he could be here. At this moment, right now. Staring at her, with contempt in his eyes.

And that made her angry.

She lowered her head so she could avoid looking at him. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "You're right." She cleared her throat. "In that situation, no one would have been able to save you. Not without going after Cazador. And you know what would have happened if anyone had. You'd be forced to protect him. You would be a casualty. Your only escape would have been death. Getting abducted by the mind flayers and being infected by their parasite? It was a random event. And it is literally the only thing that could have severed your connection with him." She risked a look up into his face. He was frowning, but not as severely as before. "So, you're right. Enjoy your new found power."

She turned and walked away from him, her steps heavy. She was, unfortunately, cursed to know things she had no right to know. And she couldn't even use that knowledge in any meaningful way. Not without outing herself. She hadn't even wanted to be here and yet she was pulled into the narrative by an unseen force, just as she had pulled into this world. As if she was meant to be here. But that couldn't be it. What purpose was it serving to have someone who knew the future of this world, or at least the possibilities, to be at the center of it all? Did the powers that be want her to use that information to push the story in the right direction? The "good" direction?

It felt almost wrong. She worried her involvement would take away her companions' autonomy. In the end, they were still all their own people. They had every right to decide their own paths. Even if they weren't the "best" choices. Everyone deserved a right to choose. Even if the gods were somehow involved in all this mess, she wasn't going to play god with them. She had to be better than that. And her conversation with Astarion served as a good reminder. She wasn't god. Her companions could make their own choices. She had an edge. She could lead them in the right direction, but in the end, they had the final say. No matter what. She would just have to remind herself of it. Daily.

A cup was shoved under her nose, and she looked up in shock, forced out of her reverie. Shadowheart stood over her from where she sat near her tent. She had a bottle of what looked like ale and upon looking down at the cup, she could smell the yeast bubbling to the top. "What's this," she asked, dumbfounded. They hadn't brought alcohol with them on this trip.

"I picked it up at the goblin camp," Shadowheart shrugged. "They didn't have any more use for it."

Del grabbed the cup and looked at it cautiously. "Please tell me you didn't pick this up from the drinking trough."

Her companion laughed. "They had a stash of unopened bottles hidden in the temple," she verified. "It shouldn't be poisoned unless your pale friend found them first."

"He isn't my friend," she grumbled, taking a hearty swig of the drink. It was lukewarm, coppery, but it still hit the spot.

Shadowheart sat next to her and took a sip from the bottle. She grimaced before setting the bottle to the side. "You're certainly more friendly with him than the rest of us."

"It's just because we know each other from Baldur's Gate," Del explained.

"Right, he owes you money," the half-elf said, leading off the sentence as if she expected Del to finish it.

Del rolled her eyes and just took another long drink from the glass.

She could smell the pork cooking in a covered pot over the fire, but realized the men had all disappeared. Except for Astarion. He was lounging outside his tent as he normally did.

"They went to wash up in the river," Shadowheart explained, noting where Del's gaze had gone.

Del nodded and chugged the rest of her beer before setting the cup down. Shadowheart shoved the bottle towards her and Del took it, gladly.

"Do you trust him?"

Confused, she looked at Shadowheart and asked, "Do I trust who?"

"Astarion," she whispered, leaning closer to her. No doubt, the vampire heard her anyway. She had had enough of his attention today and didn't want anymore.

She sighed and decided to answer truthfully. "I trust he is on the same page as the rest of us, if not for exactly the same reasons."

"That's not the same thing," Shadowheart responded.

"It is to me." She set the bottle down and turned to look directly at the Sharran. "Do you trust me?"

Shadowheart regarded Del for a moment, her eyes narrowed. "Surprisingly, I do," she said, slowly. "Yes, you rescued me from that pod. But it's more than that. There's something about you… you've overcome so much and yet you still continue to go above and beyond what anyone could expect of you. You collected a whole group of us together to find a cure. You volunteered to help the tieflings. You rescued not just Halsin, but two others, while fighting off a horde of goblins. And that's just everything I've witnessed. So, yes," she said with a finality. "I trust you."

That's not what Del had expected to hear. But after beating herself up after her conversation with Astarion, it's what she needed. But that didn't mean she wasn't about to push her luck.

She leaned back and kicked her legs out in front of her. "Enough to finally talk about yourself," she asked.

Shadowheart hesitated, but then shuffled closer, her head held high. "What do you want to know?"

Del smiled and handed the bottle over to her. Shadowheart wrinkled her nose at the bottle before taking a large swig and handing it back. "I don't know how you drink that stuff. I prefer wine."

Del laughed. "That's a good start, I suppose. What else?"

Shadowheart hummed. "I don't remember much, but I know night orchids are my favorite flower. I like animals. And I can't swim."

Del nodded, taking a drink from the bottle. None of this was news to her, but the reminder was useful. "And what can you tell me about your goddess? Lady Shar? I can't say I know a lot about her."

Shadowheart sat there and told her everything she could possibly want to know about Shar and her teachings. This seemed to give her the greatest joy, even though she seemed worried what Del would think of her after explaining it all. Del merely nodded along, not judging. She even acknowledged she could see why people would want to worship this particular goddess, despite her dark origins. On the surface, her teachings were not necessarily bad, but at the end of the day, she required the greatest sacrifices from her followers. She was the Lady of Loss. And what was greater to lose, than one's own self.

The Sharran sitting before her, though, was happy to give. In the end, she hoped to be blessed for her sacrifices. This quest she was on - to find the artefact - would prove her devotion. Del pulled said item from her bags and held it in her hands. Currently, it sat lifeless. She twirled it around, contemplating how inside there was a whole world. Inside was their so-called protector. And they hadn't even come out to say hi, yet. Del handed it to Shadowheart, but she shook her head. "I know it will be safe with you. Keep it."

Del shrugged and placed it back into her bag. The guys had started wandering back into camp, one by one. Certain Shadowheart wasn't ready to be open with anyone else, Del turned to her and thanked her. "I know you didn't have to tell me any of that, but I appreciate you sharing with me. I feel like I understand you better now."

Shadowheart stood, taking the now empty beer bottle and goblet. "I'm glad we could find the time to talk. We should do this again." She grimaced. "Next time, we're drinking wine, though."

Del chuckled. "Wine, it is."

As Shadowheart made her way back to her tent, Gale announced the pot roast was ready. Soon, everyone was gathered around the fire and eating. Most of the men were talking animatedly with each other. They had bonded while bathing it seemed. Del was happy to let them chatter. It took her mind off things. She had caught Astarion's eyes at one point, and she tilted her head very minutely, inviting him to join them, but he had merely rolled his eyes and kept reading his book.

Halsin, whose keen eyes had noticed the exchange, was sitting next to her. He turned to her and asked, "Did your talk with him earlier not go well?"

She huffed out a laugh. "He's always like this. Don't worry about it too much. You'll see once you're on the road with us."

Halsin merely looked between the two of them once more, before turning his attention to Gale, who was recounting a story about his time in Neverwinter.

Right before everyone laid down for the night, Lae'zel confronted Shadowheart about the artefact. Which, despite Del intervening, led to Shadowheart then threatening Lae'zel in the middle of the night at the point of a knife. Del had managed to get them to agree to a truce, but it had been a close one. Del ended up waiting until she was sure everyone was asleep before she went back to her own bedroll. The day had been long and she just wanted to get some sleep, but she lay awake for an hour before finally falling into a dead slumber.

The rest of the night passed without further issue.