Claire hadn't meant to get caught up in one of Charlie's group meetings, but she'd made the fatal mistake of lingering in the lobby once she noticed that someone had crossed out 'Shepherd's Pie' on the daily menu and written in 'JAMBALAYA.' Now she was stuck on one of the couches between Alastor and Husk, unable to read the book she'd brought with her because that would be rude when Charlie was pacing the floor, Vaggie standing nearby as moral support.
"My dad says Heaven won't even return his phone calls and nngh how can they just ignore me?" Charlie asked, spreading her hands one minute then clutching her head the next, "I have so many questions! If they don't know what gets a soul into Heaven, how can I even make a list of goals?!"
Angel's head lolled on one of the armrests of the chair he'd draped himself over, legs crossed and dangling off the other, "Wait, hang on, you're telling me they don't know nothing about how souls get up there?" He asked incredulously.
It was the most interesting thing that had been said this whole time and Claire looked from Angel to Charlie along with the rest of the group, curious to hear the explanation. The question only increased Charlie's exasperation and she paced a little faster.
"No!" Charlie listed things off with her fingers, "They said they know when a soul arrives and when it passes 'divine judgment' but beyond that it was all blank stares and blinky eyes."
"Lots of blinky eyes." Vaggie commented with a grimace.
"So," Claire said carefully, leaning forward a little, "they know when a soul is going to arrive? That should never be a surprise? Like they get an itinerary beforehand and they're expecting it?"
Charlie threw her hands up in the air, "Probably! I bet there's even a waiting room with like snacks and a real checklist!"
"Heaven does love checklists," Vaggie agreed.
That was also interesting, but not in a good way and Claire looked away thoughtfully, frowning.
Vaggie stepped up to put a hand on Charlie's shoulder to stop her pacing, giving it a supportive squeeze, "Even if they aren't replying, that doesn't mean we can't keep working on things from our end."
Charlie's relieved smile was immediate and brilliant. "You're right Vaggie!" she put a hand over the one on her shoulder, then turned towards the group with renewed inspiration, "We just have to keep on trying to bring people to the Hotel so we can prove that redemption is possible! Then they can't—"
She paused, surprised when Claire raised her hand, "Oh, Claire, you don't need to raise your hand you can just throw out ideas."
"Who oversees divine judgment, exactly and what does that entail?" Claire set her gloved hand back down in her lap and waited expectantly for the answer, ignoring the blank stares from the rest of the crew.
Realizing that no one else was going to jump in, Charlie stumbled over her response, "…well I…don't actually—Angel!" she turned brightly towards him, "You went through it before you got here, right? Do you have any insights?" she asked hopefully.
"Who me?" Angel gracefully swung his legs around, sitting up in the chair and giving a dismissive flap of his hand, "I barely remember yesterday. No fucking way I remember that far back. Or would want to."
"Oh," said Charlie, trying not to sound dismayed and turning to her next victim, "Vaggie! You're from Heaven! Do you know anything about the intricacies of divine judgment?"
"…Exorcists were sort of judgment adjacent?" Vaggie hedged, "We took our orders from Adam and you know how that ended."
"Stab, stab!" Niffty mimicked with a giggle.
Husk nodded approvingly, "Atta girl!"
"As one of Hell's newest additions, Claire," Alastor drawled, "shouldn't you know?"
Charlie brightened, clapping her hands together and pointing them at Claire, "That's right! You've only been here a little over a month, maybe you can tell us a little bit about your experience?"
"If I went through any kind of divine judgment, I don't remember it," Claire said in a passionate voice, looking around the group to garner support. She'd thought about a great deal about this since she got there and reveled at the chance to share it. "That bothers me. And it should bother everyone here."
She stood up then, holding her book in one hand like a fiery preacher at the pulpit, eyes nearly glowing with the intensity of her arguments. The only thing she was missing was a soapbox to stand on as she launched right in, "Why does someone or some thing out there get to judge me and what are they doing it against?" she asked the room, "If it's a fair process, why can't any of us remember it? What if whatever is in charge is an ancient racist? Does it even have the capacity to understand the hardships of the human existence or is it some sort of celestial being that's never had to do a hard day's work or make tough choices in its whole eternal life? Is there an appeals process? Where's the transparency? What are the definitions of good and evil and are they updated over time considering how societies and people shift and grow? How—"
Claire paused when she realized her rousing speech was being met with blank faces and silence. "…I can't be the only one who's interested in how things actually work here," she said, surprised by their indifference.
"I am mostly interested in Husk pouring more drinks," Angel replied, pulling a martini glass out of nowhere and shaking it towards the bartender with a sly grin.
"I'm interested in people leaving me the fuck alone for five minutes!" Husk shot back with a glare, folding his arms.
"I mostly stabbed what they told me to," Vaggie offered uncomfortably. "Until I didn't."
Charlie sighed, "It's hard to get answers to anything when Heaven seems confused too, which makes all of this that much harder when it comes to making plans!"
Claire sat back down, unable to contain her annoyance. "It's fine," she said, voice dripping with sarcasm, "I'm sure the basic tenets of the universe aren't things that anyone here needs to worry about. You were saying something about goals, Charlie?"
"Oh, yes! Goals!" Charlie perked up once more, picking up what she was previously saying without missing a beat, "Which without Heaven's backing are a little in jeopardy but!" She held up a finger, "Priority number one: we need more people! While it's great that we have you here now, Claire, we still have a lot of empty rooms that sure could use some sinners! So!" she paused to race off to the side, pulling in a large whiteboard on wheels. "Let's brainstorm some ways to get people in here!"
"How about if we—" Angel began.
"No." Vaggie cut him off instantly.
Angel glared at her, leaning forward aggressively from his chair, "Oh, fuck you! You don't even know what I was gonna say!"
Vaggie fixed him with a flat look, "Did it involve sex or porn?"
"…I'll be in my room," Angel huffed, standing up and stomping out of the lobby.
Claire glanced after him then looked back to Charlie and her very blank board, "If word of mouth doesn't seem to be working what else is getting the hotel and its mission out there?"
"Not much," Vaggie admitted, folding her arms and looking a little smug as Angel left.
"I put up fliers the other day but some asshole plastered them over not five minutes later," Husk complained, taking a swig from his bottle.
Claire considered, "What about social media?"
"Every time we try to post something the Vees bury it," Charlie sighed.
"Velvette keeps the trending hashtags locked down tighter than Husk holds on to that bottle," Vaggie further explained with a pointed look to Husk, who narrowed his eyes and started chugging.
"You just need to go viral in a way that gets out there before they can control it," Claire suggested with a shrug, leaning back.
Husk eyed her, "How do you know so much about this stuff? You don't even have a phone."
"I don't have a phone because I know about this stuff," Claire clarified, looking back to Charlie and Vaggie thoughtfully, "You said the Vees bury it?"
"Every time," Vaggie nodded.
"Doesn't Angel work for one of them?" Claire asked lightly.
"Oh, he would not like where that question is going," Husk warned, raising the bottle again only to find it empty. "Fucking hell," he muttered, shaking it to get the last few drops.
Putting her hands up as the phone in her back pocket started to buzz, Charlie tried to get the conversation back on track, "As much as I'd love to be able to get something out there, I don't know that we want to—"
"Babe," Vaggie interrupted, leaning back to look at the phone, "Why is your ex calling you? I thought you didn't talk?"
Charlie reached back and immediately fumbled for the phone, nearly dropping it several times until she gained control, hastily pressing the silence button, "Wh—What?! I have no idea! And we don't not talk we just don't talk-talk."
Vaggie narrowed her eyes, "It seems like not talk-talking is talking if he's calling you," she pointed out.
Claire watched the back and forth from the couch as Charlie tried to justify things and Vaggie refused to let it drop. "I am too old for this kind of drama," she stated flatly.
"So are they," Husk replied, matching her tone.
"This is very boring!" Alastor exclaimed, even though he watched the exchange with a wide smile.
As Vaggie pushed the issue and Charlie got more defensive, Claire stood, gesturing for Alastor and Husk to follow, "Come on boys," she said, heading for the stairs, "Let's get out of here before someone starts singing."