32 - Rest - 32

Evening, 5:00 PM

A pink hedgehog panted heavily as she pulled her hammer from the crunched skull of an Eggman robot. She took a few steps back before looking at the mess of metal and Robotnik insignia-marked pieces of robotic debris. That was it, that was all of them, and when they saw that magenta glow in their eyes disappear, they knew they wouldn't get back up again. A red echidna slumped onto the ground on his butt, trying to catch his breath from all the swinging and punching. His white bat companion stumbled to sit next to him on the grass, her legs and wings sore from all the aerial assaults and kicking. The pink hedgehog walked over and leaned her arms against the stick of her hammer, looking up at the sky and noticing the sun was a bright yellow again. A tall red and black droid walked beside them, his parts slightly scratched up and dented in a few places. An orange-yellow fox walked over and tossed the head of an Eggman droid somewhere away, his namesakes and legs exhausted. Their bodies were bruised, and they were injured in some places. They didn't get out of that scrap wound-free. They all glanced at each other as they panted, silently congratulating each other on a job well done. It was tough, and it was a long battle, but they did it together.

A black streak approached the group through the sea of destroyed robots and stopped in front of them. The ultimate life form stared at them with hope as he held the hero's sleeping body in his arms. Their eyes all lit up one by one, looking to Shadow to silently ask if he was alive. With a small smile, he nodded. Amy ran over with tears in her eyes, gently running her hand down his cheek. Sniffing, she whispered, "He's breathing. He's," She chuckled a little. "He's snoring, haha."

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "The asshole's asleep? Great. He gets a nap while we almost die from exhaustion, cool..." He then fell onto his back before staring up at the normal sky, the sun was setting and the atmosphere was bleeding into oranges and pinks. He made a relieved expression and closed his eyes. "...thank goodness." He murmured to himself. "My little brother's okay." Rouge smiled down at him while sitting beside him, and looked up at the sky as well. Their hands met, and they held each other's firmly.

Tails stepped beside Amy and smiled at the blue slumbering hero. But then, it faltered into a frown. "Is it...really him?"

Shadow nodded firmly. "Yes. Whatever was possessing him was exorcized from his body. It's gone, I think for good."

"But, you're not sure..." Tails took a step back.

Amy glanced at the fox with a bewildered expression. "Tails, Sonic is alive. Aren't you happy?"

"He's my big brother, of course I am! I was worried to death!" He said defensively before slowly lowering his head. "But, what if he turns like that again-"

"He won't." Shadow declared. "I'll never let something like this happen to him ever again, and I swear that on my life." He stared down at the hero's body, noticing a few red, sore spots all over his limbs due to the entity's power. "Never again..." Quietly, Tails nodded at his words but walked away and sat against a nearby rock in silence. He placed his hands over his face and dragged them downwards towards is mouth. His baby blue eyes stared at the ground with a somber frown, eventually placing his palms on his knees. The pink hedgehog narrowed her eyes at him with uncertainty. Despite seeing his big brother alive, he was very sad. She concluded he saw something bad, but that wasn't Sonic. He knew that, right? Meanwhile—Omega walked towards the biohog, who looked more than happy to see the robot. "Omega," He greeted with a subtle warm smile. "I didn't get a chance to ask before, but you came to help too?"

The droid poked his metallic finger against Sonic's leg. "Only by order of GUN. I helped secure the safety of several meatbags who were only just returning from outside the city during a crucial lockdown. Tower clearly needed my assistance." He spun his head to Tails, who gave a meek wave. "I detected strange explosions of high chaos energy in Green Hill Zone. Then, I came across the orange forest creature on my way here. He's slightly more tolerable than the others."

Chuckling, Shadow moved and bent over a little to hoist Sonic onto his back. "Never change, Omega." He then glanced back at Tails. "I'm going to drop faker off at his place, I assume you'll care for him?"

The bat noticed what Amy saw in the teenager, and knew that this probably wasn't a good decision. Rouge then spoke up before Tails could. "Handsome, don't you think it's best that you take care of him?" She briefly glanced at Tails before looking back at Shadow. "Fox Boy saw a lot...Things we didn't see." She had a point. Out of everyone here besides Shadow, Tails and Omega were the only ones who confronted Fleetway head on. Omega, despite his limited sentience, was unable to feel fear. Tails however was probably still terrified out of his mind, just keeping it to himself. "He needs some space. Besides," She gave Shadow a knowing smile. "You know what Big Blue needs more than we do."

"But," Shadow protested reluctantly. "I figured none of you would want me to be around him. It's my fault he-"

The echidna made an annoyed groan. "Chaos, my God damn brain-Aren't you two dating or something?"

Oh.

He didn't have to just say it like that, though. "Well, yes but-"

"Then just take that freakin' blue menace home already. Anyway," Knuckles added with a softer tone. "We don't hate you, Shadow. The only person we're weary of right now is Sonic after what just happened, but...we know it's not his fault either. Yeah it scared the hell outta us, but we'll come around soon enough." He sighed. "Rouge says you were tortured when you were kidnapped by that loser jackal guy. I dunno what he did to you, but I know whatever he did was enough to piss Sonic the hell off. That's what made him turn into that thing, not you. It's just like what happened when Tails got shot, Sonic lost control over his emotions." He saw Rouge nod beside him in agreement. "It happens to the best of us. It's Infinite's fault, not yours. So," He shrugged as he relaxed against the grass. "I'm pretty sure there's no reason to hate you for anything."

Shadow frowned, why didn't they get it? "You don't understand. I failed my mission, it's my fault Infinite got the ruby and kidnapped me in the first place. I'm the reason why Sonic was killed."

It was Rouge's turn to retort against that. "The way Tower told it, you both planned to take the ruby from Eggman and give it to GUN on a silver platter so we could find a way to destroy it. It was also the best and only way to infiltrate his base." She gave Shadow an obvious look. "How were you supposed to know any of this would happen?"

"I didn't, but that doesn't change the fact that none of this would have happened if it wasn't for me." Shadow exclaimed roughly, growing a little irritated that nobody was seeing the bigger picture here.

The bat scoffed and shrugged. "You're so hardheaded...Whatever, continue to blame yourself. But know that you're the only one who does." She then laid back on the ground against Knuckles and shut her eyes too. "I bet you all the jewels in the world that Sonic doesn't blame you, either."

Knuckles nudged her arm playfully. "Pssh, Sonic's such a softie that he wouldn't blame anybody even if it was their fault. Shadow's totally in the clear."

She snickered. "True, Big Blue's cute like that."

The ultimate life form was just...bewildered. Was it really just him?

Finally, Amy tilted her head at Shadow with a smile. "Hey, don't worry about them—They're just a couple of big ol' bullies." She patted his arm, one that was holding one of Sonic's legs. "I know what you mean, I can't say I don't understand you for feeling the way you do. But they're right about one thing: We can't really fully blame you if you never intended for any of this to happen. I know intentions are way weaker than actions, but your actions after your mistake prove you wanted nothing but the best for everyone." She reached up and tapped her finger on Shadow's temple. "Remember, didn't Sonic tell you that before? After the whole Black Doom thing?" She saw Shadow look away. "You and Sonic are so quick to blame yourselves for something you can't control. Maybe that's a guy-thing, but you're gonna worry yourself half to death over stuff like that. It's over now, and you're both alive and well. There's nothing to worry about anymore, isn't that good enough?" She innocently walked to the right of Shadow. "You're in love with him, aren't you?"

Blushing, Shadow really started avoiding her gaze now. "...We're only dating."

She made a small laugh before smirking at him. "Ha! Nice try, but I'm twenty, not twelve." She rose her brows at Shadow with a suggestive expression. "I did some readings on you two, and I already know you're all over each other. You love him, I know you do. I mean," She giggled. "You make it so obvious, the way you look at him. You look like you just found the gates to heaven."

Hesitantly, Shadow looked at her. "But, we've only been dating for a month. Technically, less than that since I was captured."

Amy shrugged her shoulders. "So?" She simply replied. "You've known each other for a very long time. Well, maybe not intimately, but you're starting to now. These feelings are rushing through both of you because you both never realized that there was someone out there for you. I'll be honest," She said while gazing down at the blue hero, the person who she crushed on so hard in their youth. "When I found out he slept around, I hated that. I hated it because he was too good for those people. Those weren't good people, they were people who wanted to take advantage of him and just use him for his status and his body. I mean," She sighed with some conflict. "It's his business and he is an adult, older than me, but I always hoped he'd find someone who actually deserved to have him." She smiled brightly when she glanced back at Shadow. "Thank God, he finally found you. Someone who actually gives a damn about him, who actually wants him beyond sex appeal and appearances, someone who truly understood what it meant to have the ginormous responsibilities he had." She saw that Shadow was beginning to look slightly bashful, he knew she was speaking truth. "Someone who was right there beside him the whole time. You didn't know how much you wanted Sonic until you became his friend, and vice versa. You're constantly asking yourself why it took you so long to see that what you wanted," She gestured to the snoring hedgehog on his back. "Was right here in front of you all along. Now that you've got him, all of these feelings are just erupting back and forth. I'm certain it's hard for you two to control yourself around each other."

Yeah that's pretty accurate, actually. That's exactly how Shadow felt every time he saw him, and that was before any of this started. It honestly began after the party, seeing that what he'd want in a person was right here with him this entire time. He wasted so many years being alone, sulking and brooding when he could have had this beauty with him. He was a fool, but he thanked Chaos he finally realized it now. "...He didn't want us to go too fast."

Amy made a small squeal. "Aww, that's so sweet! If I'm not mistaken, he never said that to anyone before you. He told me himself that he didn't care about anybody he was intimate with. He never took them seriously, and they never saw him as anything more than a quick lay." She momentarily made a creeped out expression. "Either that, or they turned out to be weirdo stalkers...There's a reason why Knuckles and I hated that phase of his life." She suddenly made a sweatdrop. "D-Don't tell him I told you all of this, he'll kill me. Heheh, anyway," She continued. "Sonic's been like that for a long time, so he never thought he could fall in love with someone, ever. I'm glad he was wrong and I'm even more glad he took you seriously. He's not perfect, but he can be a big sweetie when he wants to. With that said," She gave Shadow a big, hopeful smile. "Everyone's got their own definition of love. If this is yours, don't fight it. You're both of age, nobody's getting hurt, and I'm sure you both feel the same way after all that. You didn't do anything wrong, because what happened wasn't entirely your fault and you fixed it anyway. I know Sonic doesn't hold anything against you, and I know he loves you too. So what's the problem?"

Shadow smiled a little. Wasn't she the one who helped him realize Maria's true wish back on the Ark when she was only a preteen? She was a smart girl. "...I guess you're right. Thank you, Rose."

"Ugh-Ewww!" She pouted. "Don't call me by my last name, you make me sound old!"

"I'm allowed to call you 'Amy'?" He called her Amy before, but never to her face. He thought "Rose" was more appropriate since they weren't that close.

"Oh my God-Duh! We're friends now, silly." She punched his arm lightheartedly. "Now take Sonic home and make him some lovey dovey homemade soup."

The biohog raised a brow at her. "Lovey...Homemade what?"

"Chaos, boys are so laaaaame..." The pink girl whined. One could tell she and Sonic were friends for a very long time. If he was a jock, she was his kindhearted cheerleader bestie. "I got your number from Sonic, I'll text you a recipe later." She adamantly flagged him away. "Now shoo! And if you break his heart, I'm givin' you a good whack with my hammer and I'm placing a curse on you."

With a nosey and rude voice, Knuckles suddenly called them out. "You two still yappin' over there? Go home already! D'you have any idea how long it's gonna take me to clean this shit up? There's a whole ass wrecked airship on my island. And this is still my front lawn, y'know. You're loitering!"

Shadow could see that Tails was snickering under his breath. With an irritated scowl, Amy whipped her head at the guardian. "Then why are you still laying on your ass with your girlfriend, muscle-head? Get a job!"

"You get a damn job!" Knuckles yelled back.

"I'm a botanist and a tarot card reader. What do you do? Stare at a giant rock all day?"

"Yup." The red one smirked. "And I still got a girlfriend before you."

Steam rose from her head as both Rouge and Tails busted out laughing. "Oh screw you, ya damn oversized stop sign! That's why Sonic broke your 'bum-ass arm'! You couldn't even land a good punch on any of those robots, asshole!"

The echidna immediately stomped onto his feet. "What'd you say, Pinky!?"

Omega beeped quietly and looked down at Shadow. "Error: I am very confused as to what is happening at the moment."

August 6th - Empire City

DAY 27: Wednesday

Evening, 8:00 PM

The front door to GUN SEA Shadow the Hedgehog's apartment opened, then closed and locked behind him as he walked in. Going back to work was a little nerve-wrecking because he failed his mission, and was responsible for any and all damages that were accumulated during that single day of utter discord. Granted, the only damages sustained were on Angel Island and Green Hill Zone, places that weren't inhabited by a mass population of defenseless citizens. Still, it didn't matter. He had one task to do as the new SEA, and he failed it miserably. When he walked into his office yesterday, he half expected Tower to tell him to leave and never come back. Of course, that wasn't what he was met with. A lot of people were more than relieved to see that he was alive and well, and Tower only brushed off the incident as an honest mistake. The Overlander thought everything was going to go smoothly too, it's why he authorized Shadow to make the moves he made. Nobody saw any of this coming, so he didn't necessarily blame him for the mission's failure. It turned into something they never expected and unfortunately, they wouldn't have a prisoner. GUN apparently would lie and claim the mercenary was...killed in the skies of the falling airships. An adequate lie, but one that was ambiguous enough to leave a little doubt. Therefore, if God forbid Infinite appeared somewhere in town a few months from now, they could claim: "Oh! Well, we thought he died in the sky from all the explosions! Oops!"

As for the sun turning red...

...They never told the public how or why that was possible.

At least not with the correct answer, that being that their hero turned into a demon and somehow took control over an entire celestial body. GUN lied and said the airships were causing pollution in the sky, making it seem like the sun was red. Frankly, Team Dark never told Tower the exact reason why the sun looked that way either. GUN only told the public that Sonic Team was there during the incident, and their efforts more than helped take Infinite down. As for Sonic becoming corrupted and transforming into a malevolent entity that went berserk, Shadow blamed Infinite for this, saying that the Phantom Ruby was used to turn the hero against it's people, but that something went wrong and that the mercenary lost control over his own puppet, who went on a complete rampage. He did however, explicitly tell Tower that it was not Sonic's fault, and he barely even did any damage to begin with. If anything, he only hurt a bunch of jackal lackeys who were aptly arrested in droves of armored paddy wagons. The only people he hurt was Omega and he only made Tails fall from his Cyclone, but he ended up healing Tails anyway and Omega repaired himself. Sonic didn't do any real damage or harm in that form, which was a blessing in itself. As for the emeralds, Shadow collected them properly and could sense they were no longer corrupted. He Chaos Controlled them back in his possession within time and space. He was going to return them to Knuckles, but the echidna refused and said that it may be best that the biohog keep them just in case. He wanted to show him that the guardian still very much trusted him despite his error.

Since the mission was a big bust, they didn't have their prisoner and they didn't have the Phantom Ruby. Therefore, they had to do a lot of paperwork to report to local law enforcement, politicians, law makers and a bunch of other boring stuff that mentally melted Shadow's brain. Tower said the only reason why he didn't make Shadow his right hand man was because it involved more paperwork than action. If it was worse than this, he'd have thrown himself into traffic a long time ago. Even Rouge was slowly tearing her eyelashes out. Omega was lucky to be a robot, because sometimes he'd shut himself down to avoid reporting. It was petty and kind of funny, but Shadow was jealous he couldn't do the same. Plus the meetings were such a damn drag, they were so lengthy for no reason at all. That's been his last two days, and he was hoping that'd be the last of it. He couldn't wait to get into bed and sleep the rest of the night away. It was really early to turn in, but he didn't care. He was tired enough to sleep throughout the entire night, if not the entire century.

He immediately went to his pantry in the kitchen to get himself a cup of coffee beans, which would be his dinner for tonight. It was rare he had dinner at all, but he was feeling a little drained today, so he'd use these to replenish his body. Hand picking them from the cup and popping them into his mouth, he walked down the hall to head to his bedroom. Before he opened the door, he passed by the short hall leading to the guest bedroom. Yes, he'd have to check that first. The Hero of Mobius was asleep in there, resting and healing. To be honest, he was a little worried. He's been sleeping for two, almost three days straight. Zonic warned him of this. He's been completely still in bed, not even tossing or turning. He had a bad fever of high temperatures that varied after every few hours, so Shadow would have to get a damp cloth and place it over his head every night so far. Even though he looked at peace, it wasn't normal and it wasn't healthy. Even his snoring became much quieter the moment he took him home. His friends, mostly Amy and Rouge would text and ask if he was okay. He'd just tell them that he was resting, but alive. He was sure they were worried, but he had nothing else to tell them at this point. He walked to the door and carefully turned the knob to look inside. He expected to see the same, immovable lump in the bed.

Except that's not what he saw. Instead, he saw a fully nude, wet, blue hedgehog using a towel to dry himself.

"..." Sonic blinked and made a small wave. "...Hey."

Shadow just stared, before slowly closing the door.

To this, the hero frowned and put a hand on his hip.

...

...Shadow nearly broke the door down and dropped his cup of beans to come back inside. "Y-You're awake?" He exclaimed.

"You dummy," Sonic smirked as he put his towel on the bed. "I was wondering when you were gonna peep that. Also dang—No privacy?" He asked as he playfully wagged his tail to gesture to his current nudity. His gloves and socks were absent. "I'm totally naked, dude."

Shyly, the biohog began to close the door again. "Sorry-"

"W-Wait, babe-I'm just kidding!"

8:20 PM

The ultimate life form was a very competent creature, but right now, he didn't feel like being competent. In other words, he didn't feel like cooking so he just ordered the hero some pizza. He hadn't eaten in nearly three days, so he was sure his stomach was nearly caving in on itself. Now they were in the living room, on the couch, watching a silly B-grade horror movie on TV and sharing a pizza. Well, more like Sonic was devouring it on his own, because Shadow couldn't be bothered. It's not that he wasn't a pizza guy, it just didn't do anything for him. Most foods didn't...At least food that wasn't cooked by Sonic. His food was absolutely mouth-watering. Once he fully recovered, he'd have to ask him for another one of those delicious breakfast sandwiches. Before joining the GUN agent on the couch, Sonic took a thick blanket from the guest room to wrap it around himself, because he felt incredibly cold. Despite the fever, he was freezing. He was wrapped up on the sofa with a slice of pizza happily sticking out of his mouth, chuckling every now and then at the movie since it was absolutely terribly written. Shadow had his eyes closed, leaned back with his elbow against the arm of the couch and holding his chin.

After a small obnoxious burp, the blue blur smiled at Shadow. "Thanks for the food, babe! I was starving my ass off." Shadow only nodded silently, no thanks was needed. He was just glad he was awake and eating. Sipping some Chaos Soda, Sonic lowered his head and made a quiet exhale. "...Shadow?" His voice was heavier than usual, which meant that he was serious.

"Mmn."

"Did I...hurt anyone?" He suddenly asked.

This was a conversation Shadow was dreading, but expecting. Zonic also said Sonic would feel a lot of despair after returning to his normal form, so he'd have to be prepared with what he might say. With a sigh, Shadow asked, "You remember everything?" Hesitantly, the hero nodded. To this, Shadow only spoke the truth. "You didn't hurt anyone who didn't deserve it. If you're asking if you killed anyone, then no."

Sadly, all Sonic said was, "Okay." After a few seconds, he asked something else. "...Did I hurt you?"

"No."

"Did I hurt Tails?"

"Not directly. You caused him to fall from his Cyclone, but you healed him afterwards."

"I didn't hurt any of my friends?"

"No."

"Did I...scare them?"

Some more silence, Shadow couldn't lie to him about that. "...Yes."

Sonic ran his bare hands through his quills stressfully, not saying a word to that. "..."

"Sonic," The biohog said as he opened his eyes at his lover. "That wasn't you. A literal demon possessed you."

Clutching at the sides of the blanket, Sonic continued to look downcast. The volume of the movie seemed to have drowned out. "...I made a contract with it. I asked if...if it would revive me and kill Infinite. In return, I let it have my body for five hours." He tightened his hold on the blanket. "That was the deal." His voice was writhe with guilt, as he basically admitted that he allowed himself to become the monster his friends saw. Even worse, he was willing to kill someone, which was not at all in his character.

Infinite deserved it obviously, but...Shadow had to admit, he didn't expect him to tell him that. "...You willingly made a contract with it?"

Shamefully, the blue one nodded. "Yeah. I did." His tone became unstable with self-contempt. "I...I didn't wanna die." He confessed softly. "I was scared of what might happen to you or the others if I did. I couldn't die, not yet."

"You fear death?"

To that, Sonic immediately shook his head. "No, not really. I was just worried about you guys, not me. Who knows what could have happened if I wasn't there? Knowing that scared the shit out of me."

Taking this into consideration, Shadow sat up straight and folded his hands in his lap. Sonic had a point. That could have been why Infinite never fought the team himself, he was too distracted and mostly too scared to do anything since Sonic-Err, Fleetway was actively chasing him. In a way, he protected them without even knowing it. Speaking of which, this wasn't some random corrupted power in the emeralds that spawned out of nowhere from Sonic's anger. This was a demonic spirit who had to ask for a contract to use his body. And apparently, not only did Sonic participate in that contract, he asked for it. He chose to be possessed, he just didn't choose what the demon would do with his body while he was inactive. Still, this wasn't Sonic's fault. Sure, giving him full permission to use his body was basically allowing it to do whatever it desired, but he didn't purposefully ask for it to scar his friends. "You wouldn't have had to make that contract if it wasn't for me." Shadow casually reminded him of his own mistake. "I let you die."

"Shadow," Sonic immediately lifted his head. "No you did not. There was no way you could have stopped that."

"I watched the life drain from your eyes as I held you." Shadow countered with a slightly louder tone, and there was hurt laced into his words. He still couldn't shake that image of his dead body from his mind. "I will never forget that so long as I live. You died."

Sonic frowned at this. Shadow wasn't the only one who saw something awful that day. "That's how I felt when I saw you die."

"That's different." The elder hedgehog scowled, offended that he even compared their deaths.

The hero was offended too, insulted that he could even say something like that. Death was death regardless of how it happened. "How the hell is that different?" Sonic asked rhetorically with a slightly more aggressive tone. "We both watched each other die, Shadow."

"I intentionally starved myself to death." Shadow growled with a glower. "You were stabbed in the throat by someone who was my responsibility. That is not the same!" He stood up from his seat, his eyes flashing with traumatic remorse. "You dying and becoming that monster was my fault."

The blue hedgehog rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Okay," He gave Shadow an incredulous look. "So was it your fault the first time, too?"

"..." Shadow had no immediate counter for that.

"Was it your fault that Tails got shot?" Sonic asked while standing up as well, the blanket falling from his back. "Was it your fault that I apparently had access to this power in the first place?" He gestured for Shadow to please speak up. "Huh?"

Fine, he had him on that one. But it didn't change the fact that none of this would have occurred if it wasn't for the ultimate life form screwing up yet again. Sighing with exasperation, he turned away. "Maybe I wasn't responsible then, but I'm most certainly responsible now."

"Holy shit," Sonic almost chortled at his unwillingness to just drop the guilt. "It's like you want to hate yourself. Quit it already!" He demanded angrily. "I'm fine!"

"No, you're not!" Shadow shouted back, taking a confrontational step to the blue hedgehog. "You slept for almost three days straight, haven't eaten in nearly three days straight, you have a fever, you have red sores all over your body and you can't even stand in an air-conditioned apartment without a blanket, despite it being eighty degree weather, because your body temperature's screwed the hell up." He narrowed his eyes at him. "That's 'fine'?"

The hero glared at him harshly. "You fucking starved yourself to death while that fucker assaulted you and beat you every chance he got for two weeks straight." He hissed with a dark tone. "Are we really competing on who had it worse right now? Is that really what we're doing?"

"I starved myself because I wasn't going to let that son of a bitch kill me." Shadow declared abrasively. "I'd rather have taken myself out."

Sonic's eyes widened, and he twisted his expression into one of disbelief at what the striped hedgehog was telling him. "Why the fuck are you so quick to pull something like that? Why do you have to go there? Why is it so easy for you to go there?"

"What the fuck does it matter?" Shadow retorted. "You saved me!"

"You still died for five fucking minutes, I almost didn't!"

"But you did."

Having just about enough of this argument, Sonic tersely sighed. "Don't you think I would have ended up transforming into that thing anyway if I hadn't saved you that day?"

It was like nobody was getting it. Not his friends, not Sonic—Nobody was comprehending the part where it was his fault any of this happened at all. "None of this would have happened at all if I didn't fail my mission!"

"Okay and so the fuck what!?" Sonic hollered angrily. "You fucked up. You fixed it. What more do you want from yourself, Shadow?"

A pregnant pause fell into the room, and Shadow averted his gaze.

Looking at Sonic was making it hard for him to talk anymore. "...To stop hurting people." He finally said. "A mistake is spilling a glass of milk, accidentally bumping into someone in a crowd and making them drop something, or absent mindedly saying something insensitive to a friend." He closed his eyes. "That's a mistake." He emphasized slowly. "Helping someone blow up the moon, empowering an alien overlord, or fighting people who already offered you an olive branch, is not a mistake. It's a pattern." He sat back down on the couch and leaned forward with his arms on his lap, his fists leaning against his chin. "Even when I tried to show mercy to someone with a checkered past like mine, it went wrong and he became an even worse villain than he was before. I gave him access to power beyond our imagination, and he killed both myself and more importantly, you." He knew Sonic would hate hearing this, but this was how he felt and he couldn't deny his feelings. "My death means nothing compared to yours. GUN would have lost their best agent, and Rouge and Omega would have lost a friend. But you? The entire world would have lost their hero, and your family would be in shambles. The world would bawl for you for a thousand years before they'd shed a tear for me, because you're far more important than I am. You're too good to die. Meanwhile, I'm...a fool, and I never learn my lesson no matter how many years pass. I did nothing but screw up everything that's transpired thus far." He covered his face with his hands. "I just want...to be better."

Without even hesitating at his words, Sonic easily answered back with a disappointed and very upset tone. "And I told your dumb ass that you can't be better if you're dead." Sonic frowned at him. "Do you want to die?"

"No."

"Did you want Infinite to kill you?"

"No."

Sonic could feel his rage boiling, because he knew the answer to this already. "Did you want me to kill you in that form?"

And just as he predicted, Shadow gradually said what he was thinking. "...I wouldn't have minded it."

"God damn it..." Sonic immediately turned away from him. He soon marched right back in front of him and yelled at him. "When are you going to give a shit about yourself? How can I care about someone who doesn't even want to be around me!?"

"I do want to be around you."

"Apparently only if I'm sucking you off, or transformed into some fucked up demon who's trying to kill you. Thanks, Shadow." He stepped away from the biohog and snatched the blanket up from the floor. "You got a real fucking funny way of showing it." He covered himself back up and walked from the couch and soon the room. Shadow could hear him return to the guest room, slam the door and lock it.

No...

No, that wasn't-

Damn it.

That's not what he meant.

That's not what he meant at all. Sonic meant everything to him, he didn't need him to be...Why did he say those things? He didn't want to lie about what he was feeling, but he also knew that what he was feeling would absolutely enrage Sonic. He knew he hated it when he wallowed in his own misery, but it wasn't just that. It wasn't just about a mistake or failure, it was about nearly ruining Sonic's life and almost having it ended by a person that was only able to get that far, thanks to Shadow himself. Everyone kept saying it wasn't his fault because it was just a mistake. That everything he ever did were just mistakes or misunderstandings. At a certain point, that excuse didn't work anymore. How many times would he make a "mistake" before actually doing some good when it really counted? Why did no one understand that? Why did it feel like he was the only one who could comprehend the true severity of his sins, his most recent nearly becoming the worst? Why was everyone like this?

Why was he like this?

Uncovering his eyes, Shadow slowly stood up from the couch. No doubt Sonic hated him right now, but he didn't want him to be mad at him. Although, it might have been best to leave him alone. If he tried to approach him now, they'd just get into another shouting match. With a heavy and pained sigh, the biohog walked out of the area and down the hall to get back to his bedroom. When he did, he shut the door and sat down on the edge of his mattress. He looked up at the window, seeing the rain staining the glass. An appropriate turn of the weather. He got underneath the sheets and laid his face against the pillow, but it wasn't the same as holding someone against him. Now that he had known intimate comforts and the loving touch of someone else, it was almost as if he couldn't live without it. He wanted so badly to drag Sonic out of his own bed and pull him in his room just so he could have someone to lay against. Now that he knew what love was, being at odds with him wasn't fun anymore.

Because...it hurt.

He truly was a fool.

32 - END - 32