The silence that followed Draco's earnest inquiry was heavy. Neither of them breathed as she struggled to keep a straight face. His request for her judgment on his character was absurd. How much clearer could she make her feelings for the wizard? It was laughable, really. Nevertheless, she wasn't able to express her crestfallen amusement at his anguished vulnerability.
"All of the growth I have witnessed the past six months would be a good place to start..." Hermione suggested softly as she watched him pause in the middle of a particularly stubborn wrinkle.
"Growth?" He scoffed and glared angrily down at the insolent blight on his thigh. "What growth are you talking about, Kitten?"
"You haven't called me a slur in over a year…"
"Hurrah for me! As I continue to stand idle while my friends do."
"You no longer subscribe to the social hierarchy you were raised in…"
"Which I cannot vocalize or make any real change to."
"You have started to feel regret for your actions and the way they affect others…"
"And yet I kept attempting, knowing that innocent people could be hurt."
"Are you going to find something wrong with all my examples?" Her accusation provoked his lowered scowl to lift and meet her sympathetic gaze. "I'm sorry, Draco, but you are not exempt from the conscience that comes with empathy. It is an unavoidable part of being a good person."
"So that is it…" He shrugged with a nonchalance that was at odds with the wild perplexed look in his eye. "After everything that I have done, I can just decide to be good?"
She did not answer right away, instead, she crawled over to the spot at his side that had been offered to her earlier. Undaunted by his stiff movements to accommodate her approach, Hermione tucked herself into his chest and sighed. "That is a complicated answer… I would like to give the disclaimer that 'good people' are not some angelic archetype. They make mistakes. They even hurt others on purpose! The difference is, they don't revel in the pain their choices cause. Going forward, they choose to avoid that behavior whenever possible."
"It was a simple yes-or-no question."
"So, yes, I think you are no different than any being that can distinguish between right and wrong. You awaken every morning and are given hundreds of chances to do better. Or muck it up and have to deal with the consequences." She tightened her embrace around his middle in a consoling gesture. "Regardless, I highly doubt bad people lose sleep worrying if they are rotten to the core… Wait… Does Voldemort sleep?"
Draco's muffled laugh jostled her but his firm hold became ironclad when she went to reposition to look at him, "Point taken."
"You are not conceding to shut me up?"
"No." He finally relaxed and placed a quick kiss atop her head before teasing. "If I wanted to do that, there are better ways of distraction at my disposal."
Keen to divert his attention from the last difficult debate he had planned, she began to fiddle with a button on his shirt. "Such as?"
"Hmmm… Remind me to show you later." He shuddered under her touch as she traced her fingers down the fastened placket. Undeterred by the flagrant ruse, he reached over and readied the stereo while giving an explanation for his closing ballad. "I swear that this was written with me in mind…"
My lover's got humor.
She's the giggle at a funeral.
Knows everybody's disapproval.
I should've worshiped her sooner.
If the heavens ever did speak.
She's the last true mouthpiece.
Every Sunday's getting more bleak.
A fresh poison each week.
We were born sick.
You heard them say it.
Hermione opened her eyes as the last somber notes sounded. She braced herself for the next esoteric quandary, and by the time Draco turned back, a careful smile was in place on her lips. "You know, technically, I have answered more than five questions. Can't we call it for the night?"
"We could." His eyebrow rose as he confirmed her suggestion. "But then, tomorrow morning, you will be stuck pondering the missed opportunity to know all of the topics that haunt me…"
"I… You…" Any arguments she had against the speculated regret were laughable and simply summarized with her childish accusation. "That is not fair!"
"Neither is your impatience depriving me of the answer I was looking forward to most."
She grimaced at the deceptive maneuver, yet wasn't able to deny him. "Ugh… Fine!"
Amused with her reluctance, he smirked. "Sit up."
Before she made the cognitive decision, her muscles followed his basic command. She moved so that she was poised at his side. Eager to end the examination of her contentious motives.
"Now close your eyes…" When she glared her displeasure at his merciless procrastination, his mischievous grin widened. He shifted until he sat directly across from her, close enough that their knees touched, and then prompted. "Humor me, please."
Another frustrated sigh preceded her resigned compliance. Hermione did what was asked of her and listened to the muffled sounds of the wizard's covert motions in the self-inflicted darkness. An unexpected faint click interrupted her wild musing over what his intended goal was with the curious demand.
After a restless pause, he carefully balanced something on her knee. "Okay, you can look now."
"W…What?"
Her incredulous scrutiny jumped between an expectant Draco and his ludicrous surprise. Neither were able to hold her attention for long as her mind reeled with enlightenment on the specifics of his untoward scheming. The significance behind his sudden need for reassurance became clear.
"You are the most maddeningly troublesome nag that I have ever met. Obsessive, stubborn, condescending, and wildly opinionated." His nervous smile widened with each unflattering label that was listed off. Relieved to finally be enacting his brazen plan, he leaned forward so she couldn't break eye contact with him. "In spite of, or maybe because of, all those things… You forced me to face my feelings for you. That's right, despite my zealous resistance… I love you! I love the way you always have an answer, even if you are not asked. I love how your eyes light up when you get angry. I love your ability to find an optimistic outlook, no matter how dire the situation is. I love that I am constantly surprised by you. I can only hope you will continue that particular tradition… Hermione Jean Granger, will you marry me?"
She picked up the small wooden box to inspect the shiny bobble inside. "Haha, very funny…"
"I am serious." He plucked the stunning distraction from her lax hold and slipped the shiny ornamentation from its secured storage. "Promise me… After you are done helping save the world, you will come back to whatever hovel I am exiled to and marry me."
Everything in her wanted to burst into laughter at the absurdity of the situation. The chance of his misinterpretation of her hysterics was what stopped a potential tailspin. He didn't deserve such a crass reaction to his ardent efforts. Regardless of the various unmistakable blockades, she could sympathize with his desire for a tangible representation of their intentions for the future.
A future that she could easily visualize. The far-fetched happily ever after… Years from that surreal moment, when they had endured the many many battles for their relationship. Surrounded by family and friends as vows were spoken, their children were born and holidays were celebrated. Together through the ups and downs of life. Only separated for the second it took for Death's embrace to claim them in their old age. A future that she was no longer the sole fighter for.
Distracted with her hollow but picturesque ponderings, her delayed response was stuttered and brief. "O…Okay…"
"I cannot lie, Kitten… Your answer is quite anticlimactic. I thought I would earn myself a spirited slap at the very least." Draco joked in an attempt to cover his disappointment with her lack of enthusiasm.
"There is still time," She acknowledged. "I am trying to process."
"It is a life-changing decision." Resigned he let his hand, and the pinched offering, fall to his lap. "I can understand your hesitation given the circumstances."
"I am not reluctant!" The snapped denial earned her a condescending smirk. Hermione sighed before explaining, "I didn't come here tonight with any inkling this would happen. There was no time for me to practice the script you have practiced a thousand times... My mind is wrapping around your agreement to go into hiding. Muchless, that I will be leaving this room as your fiancee. Hindsight is screaming that I am an idiot, but um… The need for ambiance makes sense now."
He, apparently, did not have the same reservations over wounded pride that she displayed. His entertained chuckle lifted the remnants of tension from his features as she glanced around at the extravagant decorations that had seemed melodramatic for a night of philosophical interrogation. A fact that she had not properly thought through due to her nerves.
When her gaze settled back on him there was no way to deny his newly buoyant disposition was infectious. It took a few more fleeting moments for her excitement to match his. The realization that the months of agonized conviction were warranted sent her into his arms. She straddled his hips and hugged him close, so their faces were inches apart. "Yes, of course, I promise to marry you."
His eyes twinkled as he stared at her with adoration, "I have never heard sweeter words spoken. Thank you for making me happier than I have ever been, Hermione."
"Mmmm…" She moaned softly and leaned forward to kiss him. Right before they made contact she paused and whispered. "Say my name again, please…"
Draco shifted, brushing his lips against hers and then up along her jaw. Until he was able to murmur in her ear, "I love you, Hermione."
Instant desire flared at the longed-for declaration, having waited months to hear those four simple words outside of a heated argument or insinuated during one of his rants. Her breathing hitched and she shivered as his hot breath caressed her skin. "And I love you..."
-\/- -\/- -\/- -\/- -\/- -\/- -\/- -\/- -\/- -\/-
Incapable of holding herself up, she collapsed onto her stomach, completely spent and heaving in a desperate attempt to catch her breath.
Also drained after such a strenuous workout, he settled next to her and relaxed back against the pillows with a weary sigh, "Are you okay?"
"Mmmhmm…"
The tips of his fingers brushed a line from her shoulder to her hip, avoiding the sticky barriers left behind, "If you give me a couple of minutes I can finish what I started."
"Round two." Hermione mumbled the vague reference to muggle boxing and smiled at his inevitable confusion. "Ding ding ding…"
"I hope that grin lasts… I am not done with you." His threatening jest was accompanied by a lazy swat that sent a fresh prickling across her sore backside.
Her eyes rolled back as she shivered under his palm, "I forfeit! There is no need to go for a knockout."
"Do you honestly think that you will get off that easily, Mrs. Malfoy?"
Blindsided by his nonchalant use of the formal title, she froze for a brief second before moving so she was on her side and could stare at his profile. "It is Mrs. Granger-Malfoy to you and I had hoped it would… Hence the white flag."
He smirked at the correction, but instead of expounding on his provocative warning, he chose to wipe the evidence of his excitement from his hand with her crumpled shirt.
A comfortable silence enveloped them as she watched him work the white fabric between his fingers. Once done ridding himself of the thick gelatinous fluid, he turned and focused on the bottom half of her body. She winced when the rough material scraped against the tenderest bits of her skin and covered for the involuntary action with the pretense of stretching out her fatigued muscles.
"Oh!" Her hand made contact and wrapped around the small wooden box that had been discarded in favor of other activities. She tugged it from the pile of pillows and stared down at the lid.
Draco tossed the defiled clothing to the side and stayed quiet as he peered out of the corner of his eye at her. He held his breath and waited, almost like he was afraid to startle her.
"Isn't it customary for you to put it on?"
"Merlin, muggles truly are backward these days!" He muttered in exasperation and then rapidly clarified to avoid offense. "No, pet. You wear it."
"That's not what I meant…"
He immediately understood her befuddling inquiry and took the box from her.
Amused but hesitant to giggle and potentially ruin the moment, she shifted to a sitting position. Using the time he was busy with pulling the ring from its confines, Hermione tried to fix her disheveled appearance. The realization that she was, in fact, still naked stayed her hand.
Unknotted hair wouldn't make her clothed in both their memories…. And it was completely unfair that he had managed to make it through the entirety of their copulation without losing a single piece. Not even a damn sock!
She openly glared at the insulting garments and only realized when he cleared his throat to get her attention.
"What did I do?" He asked, frozen with hesitation.
"Nothing!"
"Tell me…"
"You didn't do anything wrong." Her insistence on his innocence didn't help to dismiss his justified fear, so she pivoted and nodded at the sparkling bauble. "Other than holding my ring hostage for no good reason…"
Unconvinced, he raised an eyebrow but decided not to contradict her. "As much as I love your tendency for hyperbolics, I do need a finger to put it on."
"Right…" She sheepishly offered him her left hand.
There was zero uncertainty as he slipped the platinum band onto her third finger. His smile widened and he kissed the spot where the metal touched her skin before letting go. "There."
"Thank you." The routine gratitude was nearly inaudible because her concentration was devoted to the intricate design of his gift. A small boulder masquerading as a diamond was encircled by vined filigree. Tiny leaf-shaped emeralds twisted down to adhere the gem to the polished metal circlet. Subtlety was lost on the wizard… She had no hope of wearing the thing casually on a different finger. Just like her locket, it would have to be kept secret for the foreseeable future.
"Do you like it?"
"Do I like it?"
"Your mimicry skills are subpar, Hermione. Nevertheless, I'd appreciate an answer this time."
His gentle reproach earned yet another eye roll, "If your questions weren't absolutely absurd I could take them seriously… It is perfect. You are perfect. I am perfect. Everything is perfect! Stop with the pessimism for a few hours and enjoy the perfection with me, okay?"
"Fine." For a second an unvoiced dark thought distracted him, but he blinked and locked eyes with her. "You said something about a round two?"
-\?/- -\?/- -\?/- -\?/- -\?/- -\?/- -\?/- -\?/- -\?/- -\?/-
Author's Note:
Here is your late present if you celebrate any of the holidays during this time of year.
Otherwise, here is your update as per usual, lol.
Either way… Please, please, please let me know what you think!
How did our boy do?! Should Hermione tell Ginny?! Will this change her plans?! Did you hate the entire thing?! I'm nervous posting this one and dying to know!
We are so close to the end… And the beginning of Anywhere but Here. I can't thank those of you who keep returning enough. Even you quiet ones, I see you in the analytics! You guys are the reasons I have to turn these daydreams into written words.
As always…
Much love,
SlytherclawLuv
P.S. AO3 has over 1600 ghost peppers. You know, for those old enough to handle (or interested in) that kind of spice.
"Take Me to Church" by Hozier