Date: August 21st, 1999
Dear Diary,
You'll never guess what happened to my best friend Patrick and I today. We met our favorite superheroes that we've watched on TV since we were kids! Their names are Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, and they reside in a retirement home here in Bikini Bottom called Shady Shoals. Patrick and I went to visit them after our oh so friendly neighbor Squidward informed us that they lived in Bikini Bottom like us. We initially thought that they were working undercover on some type of secret mission at the old folks home, but we were wrong! Both are elderly and retired now. Well, they were retired until Patrick and I convinced them otherwise today. We couldn't let our heroes cease fighting crime completely! The world is full of evil (or as Mermaid says EEEVIIIIL)! In other words, the world needs Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. To show the geriatric duo this fact, Patrick and I put on a little show outside Shady Shoals. This is how it went: I played the part of a little ole southern lady who had her purse stolen by a big scary robber (played by Patrick). Barnacle Boy just chastised us for almost waking Mermaid Man from his afternoon nap, so the skit failed. We decided to go with plan B. We painted their famous Invisible Boatmobile. This infuriated them! They saw Patrick and I as a couple of nuisances who needed to be dealt with immediately. First, they threw a water ball at us which only tickled Patrick. Then, we were spun around in a perfect twister by the use of their ability called the Raging Whirlpool. Finally, by sending out telepathic waves to the other folk at the home, the two formed an angry mob of old people that physically tossed Patrick and I far away from Shady Shoals. Our mission of bringing Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy out of retirement was accomplished. Now they're back in business thanks to us! I feel so proud!