Note: Here is another story I have started but might be indefinitely finished and thought of it as another way to spite Hollywood's opinion or popular opinion. I do not own the characters used in this story, except for a couple set to appear.
As a big-band musical game theme plays, we start with a montage of various fictional unmarried couples that do not fit being broken up.
An announcer's voice was heard from offscreen, announcing "Live from Beautiful Zootopia, it's the 15th annual Character Marriage Prevention Telethon. Tonight's special guest stars include Nick Wilde, Mr. Peabody, Fender from Robots, Paddington Brown, Master Tigress, Gazelle, and many more."
We now see a live stage room with the lights going up and in the center was a beautiful telethon set, and the announcer finished up his introduction, "And now, here's your host, the suffolk sheep who does not suffer society's hardness and grandson of a famous opera singer, Edwarrrrd Noodleman!"
The audience applauded as a skinny suffolk sheep came onto the stage, dressed in a fine, dapper, blue tuxedo (identical to his koala chums, except more his size), waving to the audience live and watching at home, even giving a wink to anyone watching.
As the music ended, Eddie started off, "Thank you! Good evening, folks, and how about a big hand for the Bikini Bottom Super Band?"
As said, the audience applauded the band, who were a group of sea animals (and one squirrel in a diving suit) performing the number from inside a water-filled glass tank.
Eddie then continued, "Welcome to tonight's edition of the Character Marriage Prevention Telethon. On this show, we raise money to prevent the most unfitting of character pairs from becoming a permanent item they can never divorce or take back their freedom from. This time, the pair is..."
On a screen behind him appears images of two separately annoyed characters: one being a Saluki with a brown straight haircut, big round glasses and teal dress, and the other a white Arctic wolf with bushy eyebrows, blue eyes and is in a dark bluish-black business suit. "Suki Lane and her ex-boss, Jimmy Crystal."
The audience's reaction was a mixture of cheers and boos, depending on how they feel. Not everyone has the same taste.
Anyway, Eddie continued, "Yes, they aren't an item, per se, but Hollywood has known to be suckers for redemption-based love stories and unappealing dynamics, and with our franchise set to be going on for who-knows-how-long and ideas being needed for new stories, including fan ones, we must do all we can to prevent either canine from being trapped by a horrible wedlock and letting them live freely. That's why we have several toons at the phones, standing by to take your calls."
The suffolk sheep gestured to a group of various characters standing by to take calls from viewers who would be willing to donate their funds. Some characters included Mr. Piranha, Zhen, Margo Gru, Bricklebaum, Mike and Nancy, Norman, Caspar (one of his and Rosita's piglets), Snowball, Sergei, Dax Mallard, Fred McDade, the "somebody's got a frowny face" carnie, Arthur Gillman, Captain Gordon Lighthouse and his crab sidekick Davey.
Caspar, however, didn't seem to be asking someone for their money but was instead asking them, "Hi. I'm looking for someone with the last name Tecalls; first name Tess."
Norman, seeing his son's action, grabbed the phone from his son, scolding "Son, what did we say about certain prank calls?"
"To keep them clean?"
Eddie continued, "And we've got a great variety show for you tonight, so give generously and save these two and everyone else's stomach from a repulsive romance. Now to kick things off tonight, we got Tigress and Ryan performing a new combat-style take on a scene from 'Moulin Rouge'."
The audience cheered as Eddie left the stage, and Ryan the Tiger and Master Tigress began a fighting-style dancing-with-flirting scene from Moulin Rouge. What scene? Use your imagination.
Note: Okay, so, I couldn't get my mind off how Hollywood is slowly becoming all about redemption arcs and defying old tropes. It's also definitely known for normalizing the 'older man-younger woman' dynamic in almost every pair pairing up two characters that don't make appealing soulmates all because 'tropes are tools'. And I just have to say that nothing can ever make me support the idea of Suki and Jimmy being soulmates, even though other Internet users think otherwise. Seriously, no amount of therapy will make it okay in my eyes.
I honestly feel like the only way from keeping her from being trapped in an unappealing dynamic with him is to raise money to purchase the rights to her so she can remain a free spirit. And that inspired me to start a story of what I would like to do in real life.
Most of this story will be a SNL-type variety show of various characters putting on acts in attempt to raise money from viewers. If anyone has any suggestions for acts to be placed on in the show and which characters to do what, feel free to suggest in the comments.
And anyone who does ship them can still do their own ideas with them as they want as long as they don't insist that they have to be a couple in every fictional multiverse like Mickey and Minnie are a couple in every fictional multiverse.