There was commotion from the other side of the hall. The common sounds that everybody heard every time they stepped inside the hospital emergency area were the medical staff yelling commands and the patient wailing in pain. Despite the noise outside the ward hall, Claire gave her undivided attention to the TV hanging at the end corner of the 12-bed ward hall. Her bed was at the end, providing the full view of what air on the TV. Also, enough privacy to catch every word that the news announcer spewing. The headline could be seen clearly, -USA Former Secretary of Defence, Clint Wilson is on the run-.
On the run? Is this what he meant by all gone? How did the gov manage to lose him?
Coincidently, the news in regard to the explosion at the Kooh Provincial Prison came to air next. Video of the ruined building was swarmed by UN Investigation Units and military personnel. A few others that Claire did not recognize, with no uniform and no armband indicating their identification. The cause of the incident was still under investigation, however, they leaned on the rebel militia since the premise was occupied by them. Authorities presumed that the explosion was procreated by the accident from the trespassing. Claiming that they conducted illegal mining at the coal mine beneath the prison that was once secretly operated by the previous government. The news cut to an end, with the broadcasting a replay of last year's cricket match. Eyes still glued to the TV, she stared vacantly at the gameplay that she failed to understand. Not the cricket game, but the actuality that unfolded.
They only found the coal mine, but not the underground lab?
It was Marco's doing. No. It was their government doing. Not a single mention of the biohazards, the heinous crime that the Penamstan previous government subjected to their people, or the involvement of outside parties in the whole conspiracy. They had them erased. Claire was confused into submission on what her government was capable of. Deep down, it was still in the realm of her expectations. However, what she did not expect was the missing news about her convoy's disappearance after 20 hours in hostile land. Now she did not know what to feel anymore.
Has anybody reported them missing?
Where were the reports from the people last night?
Gina was there, wasn't she? So they must be TerraSave's.
Was TerraSave in this too?
The scene from last night came to replay; she was wheeled through the triage, passed the emergency corridor, and went straight to one of the operation rooms. The only place that was enclosed with walls and had access in and out by the only door, because what inside awaited her was conniving and conspiratorial. The set-up looked far from routine, either from the hospital or from her backer. Video recorders were at both corners of the room and the remaining space was occupied by people with laptops. Her mind was too enervated and her body was too sore. She could make up their faces, the image that she saw was smeared and blurred. When they spoke, their voice rang in her ear and echoed to her brain. She was convinced they were not TerraSave's because there was no conversance with their conduct. It had to be her government or maybe the United Nations.
Regardless of who they were, they did not hesitate to process her. Yes, processed her rather than tended her. No modesty. One by one her garments were stripped until she was naked, completely in her raw skin. They asked for her clothes, but she could not bear to answer. Her eyes unconsciously squinted mimicking what had happened yesterday, when the camera flashed capturing every line and dent of her broken skin. She thought she gathered warmth by her return, yet the coldness of the mountain still enveloped her. Her lips trembled as letting out a muted cry to stop, but they tried to rationalize with her that it was procedural. And her unbidden body relented to that fiend's whisper, up until they tried to remove pieces of her.
The blade of the clipper snapped too deep, chipping her flash under the fingernail when she abruptly seized the scissor that was intended for her hair. Shoving the person beside her with her right arm, she pulled her left hand brandishing the scissors to the rest of the party in doing so she snapped the IV tube attached from the back of her hand. She jumped from the cot and lost her footing upon landing on the spool of her blood. Not giving up, she swung again to meet her threat at the same time climbed to her feet and walked in reverse until her back collided with the wall. Her fresh blood raced downward and blemished the white tiled floor.
Her stance was once defensive now interpreting to terror. Nonetheless, she was fearless. She would through her body over to resist if she had to. There was a reason Gina Foley, could not take no more but to interfere. Her confidence in Gina to deliver her rescue was inevitable. She knew her friend had seen enough, she had allowed them enough. Gina's aggravated voice was calming, like a prayer. Claire trusted her savior, as her body slowly slumped to the floor. Beaten and battered by her own exhaustion. The last image of Gina advanced toward her, one hand cautiously took hold of the scissors while the other brought her body into a hug, cradling her protectively and muttering assuring words that lulled Claire to unconsciousness.
'It's okay, Claire. You safe now.'
"Claire."
Claire was pulled back from her lost thoughts after hearing her name being called repeatedly. Her tired eyes were greeted with his customary lopsided grin. Even in his mid-50s, her superior's airy personality erroneously presented him as younger than his actual age.
"If you keep doin' that they might gonna redo the stitches."
"Huh?"
What Watts said failed to register in her head. It was much easier for her eyes to just stay on him and his forefinger was pointing at her bandaged hand. Looking down, she immediately recognized what the person in front of her was on about. Noticing the warm blood started seeping through the gauze, immediately she unfolded her palm. Her nails were digging into the padded bandage that covered her palm, the indentation could be seen clearly. He was right, if she continued doing it she might break the suture on her wound.
Turning back to Watts, his grin still froze on his face while he uttered his greeting. "Hi, Claire."
"Hello, chief.", replied Claire politely.
"How are you feeling?"
"Much better than yesterday. I didn't know you were here."
"Just arrived this morning." He paused and then sighed, "Sorry this happened to you, Claire."
"Nothing you could've done. I chose to be in this job. I know the risk."
Watts nodded, "Outstanding. I hope the others share the same spirit as you did."
"I cannot guarantee you that, chief. I can only speak for myself."
"But it doesn't hurt to hope.", expressed Watts. He leaned back in his seat, making himself more comfortable in the old ratty plastic chair. Claire grimaced, hoping that the chair would not fail under his weight. "I spoke with Gina earlier, she briefed me on what happened to you last night."
"Urmm...yeah. She was there. Yesterday evening when I arrived... some people were already waiting. I don't think is SIU.", informed Claire, referring to TerraSave's Special Investigation Unit.
"What makes you say that?"
"Their approach was... different. And it's not local authorities either. I don't know. To be honest, I was... well. Mostly just a blur. But I'm fairly certain that the people who were here last night were not local."
"I'll look into it. We cannot have others messing with our people especially when I'm not around.", assured Watts, his expression displaying seriousness.
Claire nodded, and then she solemnly asked. "Have the families been notified?"
"We currently working on it." Her eyes stayed vigilant on her superior. There was something that he wanted to let out than just notifying her. His speech was more than just seeking confirmation from her, and sure she was not wrong about it considering what had come next.
"Although I've some information I'd like to run by you."
"...Kay." Claire knew Watts could detect her apprehension, yet did not stop him from probing further.
"Gina mentioned your claims about being kidnapped."
"Yes." Her eyes glittered with affirmation as she announced her admission, Claire elaborated some more. "We were taken right after we finished the inspection. A group of kids visited us first. Then, I'm not sure how many, men, came out of nowhere. Attacking us and right off the bat, we all just blacked out."
Watts inhaled deeply and proceeded to cast a look on the window. He placed his left forearm over his stomach, supporting the elbow of the hand that was scratching his stubble. The big gap in his timely reaction elevated the invisible tension between them. It became more and more perceptible. An indication for her to brave in confronting what he was about to say.
"I'm sorry but I have to ask this, where are the rest of your team?" His eyes returned to her, "Are they still alive?"
Claire lifelessly shook her head, and could not bear to say that they were all dead. Watts nodded, proceeding to continue his questioning.
"How sure are you that this was a kidnapping?"
Mouth slightly opened, tilting her head with her brows wrinkled in confusion. She stuttered her words, only what came out was the faint call for superior.
"...Chief?"
Am I sure? What the hell?
"How do you find working with us, Claire?"
Claire recognized this was where the deplorable turnaround started. This felt like a replay of 6 months ago, with a more rugged and unrestricted atmosphere instead of the comfort of the Drug and Biohazards Affairs Director's office. The memory was vivid, yet she tried to play it dumb and refused to believe it going to repeat itself, undisputedly.
"With HUMANE?"
"No. TerraSave?"
"Sometimes it's a bit challenging. But, what things are not?" She kept her voice neutral, masking her trepidatious turn of mind.
"I take you're aware of the changing pace of our organization."
"You mean the political expedient? Yes, chief. I'm aware"
"So you understand what I about to tell you not to do?" Her superior voice was low, carrying authority. It was not a request, it was an order. Sitting up straight with his arms crossed on his chest, he urged her. "The decision for you for this particular matter."
"Is this going to be the same as 6 months ago?"
"You already know the play."
Claire's ears were hot, shooting the tempest of her indignation. She rebuked, the tone of her voice was a shade higher than before. "If this involved only me, I'd totally understand. However, this is not just me, but also 3 others. Besides, I don't get it. How are the boards going to spin this?"
The moment she ended her speech, the main door of the ward cracked open prompting both to cease what they want to speak forward. A couple of nurses wheeled in a new resident of the ward, just several beds from Claire's. The head, arms, and chest were all covered with white bandages, nearly resembling Egyptian mummies. Right before the nurses left, they both smiled at both Claire and Watts in which they cordially returned the gesture.
After returning her attention to her boss only she realized that Watts was also a part of the board. With her coming back to her stable normal voice, she immediately apologized. "I'm sorry, Chief. I spoke without thinking."
"It's okay." Loose as a goose, Watts answered. "If you wanna know... The board decided not to publicize what happened to you and the other that was missing."
"Missing?"
Why -missing-? And not kidnapping?
The first time happened she accepted. Now she felt wronged. Claire reminded him softly, "We were being kidnapped. Not missing, Chief."
"Yes. I'm aware. However, some of our friends think it is not."
Sore all over her body, her debilitated condition set her emotions off track. Claire tried to maintain her cool, but the combination of them evoked betrayal in her. Her reaction after hearing Watts was to exhale harshly. She started to get fed up with this kind of conversation.
"I'm sure while you were in Affairs, as well as your friends in the SIU have the fair share of US involvement."
"On what we're investigating. Not with us.", retorted Claire.
"And that the more reason for them to have hands on us."
Pressing her lips together, Claire ate her words and stared at her boss. What he said was on the dots. Watts continued explaining, "If you think that in Affairs you have trouble getting things moving around, in HUMANE is nothing less. Here, there are a lot of friends involved. Helping the unfortunate is one thing, maintaining good relationships with others is another. Ergo guarantee the sustainability of our operation." His voice sounded hard, his words were heavy more than they truly weighed.
"So, you know who visited me last night?"
"I might have some idea." Claire did not say anything to respond, her expression was clear that she wanted her superior to elaborate. There, Watts added. "Homeland."
Claire bit her lower lip, suppressing her mounting disapproval. "We are NGOs. We don't have any allegiance to them." Claire said attentively, intending to be a reminder for Watts but at the same time to keep herself in check not to cross the line with her boss.
"Yes. We may be independent, but the US always showed interest in us. And Lately, their interest become more conspicuous. Especially, when your name is attached to every single thing that happens. Interest is one thing, I'm okay with it. Interfering is another."
She unconsciously bit her tongue after asking, "What makes you say that?"
"Ignoring it will not make them disappear, Claire. Your connection on what happened in Raccoon City. Their failure to have you encouraged them to put extra eyes on you."
"Have me? You mean own me?"
Claire observed Watts closely, he sat there unspeaking but his knowing eyes said it all. Claire added, "And they did this because they're scared I might find something that would incriminate them?"
"These people are not scared. They nervous."
"Is it not the same?"
"Similar but not the same." Rendering his earnestness, Watts's eyes softened as he continued explaining. His undertones changed, as those teachers teaching the students or father advising his daughter.
"Do not underestimate when they are nervous, Claire. It's worse than scare. Scare is a strong emotion. Sometimes decisions are driven by feeling therefore decisions made can be convoluted and action ends up being reckless. We could look for chances or mistakes. And use it back toward them, or to get away from them. Whereas nervousness is an alarm to stay vigilant. If...these were normal people, you could cook something to get around them. These are not normal people."
Watts shook his head, "No. We not talking bout normal people here. Hence, the decision made is acute and the action is calculated. Measured and precise, until the threat disappears. Unnoticible. I know you have the motivation to do good. But one thing you need to learn is to be cautious."
"Are saying I should give up?"
"Learn when to take one step back." As much as she wanted to scream her frustration at hearing it, she held back by biting her lower lip. First, it was Leon. Second came Marco. The third was where she needed to rational back and draw a line. "Let's just hope that what happened to you was a coincidence.", proposed Watts.
And Claire countered, "There's no such thing as coincidence. You said that, remember?"
"Yet here I am badly wanting it to be not."
"Do you believe there's something more than what is now?"
"I do." Watts's short answer got Claire thinking about whether his superior was aware of what happened at the prison or not.
"So, is this the reason why you move me to HUMANE?"
"It's the most appropriate move."
"Appropriate? You all not just moved me, you dumped it all on me.", berated Claire. Watts's remarks and his nonchalant demeanor ticked her off badly.
"We are trying to make them buy what we are selling."
"What are you selling?"
"That we're on board with them." Watts paused a second, analyzing his subordinate's reaction. However, when Claire maintained her poker face, he explained further. She was picking up her boss's pace. "By punishing you, it showed that we're capable of taking care our problem ourselves. More importantly, without getting them involved."
Claire scoffed and turned her face away from Watts. Hearing it seemed so surreal. Her trust in her on TerraSave was slightly shaken. She did not know what to believe. It caught in between off, was TerraSave with her or it was just covering their misdeed just like their opposition?
Supported with cogent clarification regardless of what Watts said next provided little effect on her. "We trying to keep you alive, Claire. Literally."
"Well judging from what you thinking just now, you didn't seem to believe they are buying what you're selling.", riposted Claire, looking straight into Watts's blue eyes.
"Yet."
"Yet?"
"Change your perspective, Claire. It's a long game. I know you have dirt on them, who said you cannot prove it ever? Use it at the right moment at the right time. When you are in the field, being imprudent will not get you further except to render you lost. Patience and caution are the key. Get accustomed to their tactics. Study them. If they always hold you back, use them. If they have the upper hand, calculate your plan. Despite it taking too long time to execute. Remember, all this is run by people, people with their own agenda. If you take them too hard, it becomes a losing game. That's not how you survived this play."
"But some things have expiry dates."
"Not when comes to intelligence."
The way Watts spoke was steady, without inflection. He sat there, perfectly comfortable with his legs crossed. He had his fingers interlaced and settled them on his thigh. His persona exuded overflowing equanimity. Relax and confidence as if he had done these conversations multiple times not just in his career, but also in his lifetime. And from Claire's perspective, it was hard to believe that Watts headed the Humanitarian Aid Division instead of the investigation unit. Therefore intrigued her wanting to know more about the man other than just being her superior as to his current position.
Watts added, "Never lose sight of the business you are in right now. It's not about you, is the people you trying to help."
She swallowed the lump of nerve that stuck in her throat. Her pride was somewhat dented by his advice. "And your suggestion that I should play this shell game?
"It's up to you to decide. I can only advise."
Claire nibbled her lower lip, her fingers were poking to get inside the bandage wrapped around her palm this time. She was quite not certain whether because of itchiness or irritation. Her prospect was between the devil and the deep blue sea and manifested by the way she acted, the qualm was palpable. A glimpse of Leon's face came into view. She could make out the fine lines that formed at the end of both of his eyes as much as the smile line formed around his mouth when his lip curved upwards. His gums peeked slightly with his pearly teeth displayed between those lips. Claire continuously stared at him until Leon shyly ducked his head before meeting her eyes again. This time, that same smile somehow did not reach his ears and faltered into somberness.
A losing game.
A sentence that kept repeating itself. Leon. He could not win her as well he could not win his life. The realization that she felt was true. Sincere. It was not a regret during hopelessness. It was a revelation. The fight they had, the misunderstandings they had, the silence between them, the kidnapping, the meeting with Marco and his team, and this conversation with her boss; all of them had opened her eyes that the person that she adored was in a losing game. His outcry the whole time, and it was her ego and pride that shielded her from realizing it sooner. Her courage to face Leon was depleted then and now gone to void. She brought both of her hands, covering her face in shame and contrition.
Watts sat on the edge of his seat, with his body leaning forward to her attentively reading her distress. "Claire."
She responded to Watt's call by returning his regard. For the first time, Claire could perceive the genuine concern that was written all over his face.
"How do they want to run the story?", conceded Claire together with her sight was clear and her cadence was definite.
Watts stared at her momentarily, searching for complete assurance before they exchanged a nod of agreement and started sharing the plan. It was all a freak accident only, he decided. Similarly with Marco's narrative minus the kidnapping. Rest assured Watts came prepared. The way he explained the plan was cut and dry. Time went by, she sensed herself floating. So much information needed to be soaked in, and so many emotions had to be curbed. Her head was pulsing, headache was surging in.
She pressed both heels of her palm onto her closed eyes, letting out a long sigh. "I... I'll get the ball rolling forthwith, Chief."
Before Watts made his leave, he asked one last time. "Can I trust you, Claire?"
"You have my word.", asserted Claire.
Her head was about to explode by the time TerraSave's HR came in to take her statement. She dunked a couple of painkillers and gave the compendious rundown to them. She was wearing sackcloth and ashes due to all the missing notes that were supposed to be in the report. For the first time, she felt dirty, soiled, and corrupted. For that reason when the hospital offered an early release, she quickly snagged the chance to leave. She dashed into her tent, the first thing she needed to do was to take a shower. Srubed all her already clean skin, with cheap soap and cold water. The water was icy indeed. Unbothered to turn on the heater was making her skin shrink to prune by the end of the shower. Her nails scratched her skin, until she overdid it for the most part went red and had tiny spots of bleeding under the skin. Scrubbing away the invisible dirt, her superior's words echoed in her ear again.
It's a long game...
Foregoing to search for her sports bra, she hastily grabbed the shorts and got dressed in the navy sweatshirt. Immediately she exited the shared portable shower, running back to her tent. Opening her laptop, her finger danced on the keyboard typing to the littlest details including what happened the other night. Her hair was dripping water to her skin, to the table, to her clothes. Her wound dressings were wet and amess, definitely would be needing new ones. She ignored them all because what she wanted to do with them was secondary. Primarily what was in her head was crucial. Every single one of them. She needed to write them before they vaporized. The kidnapping, the DELTAs, the outbreak, the virus, the underground laboratory, the BOWs, and the list went on and on.
Claire would not let herself forget. What she wrote was a reminder, that what she did was her responsibility. She would read it again and again, making a promise to herself to embed them permanently into her memory. Saving it in the encrypted file, she had to be sure. She pulled the stick drive from the port and slipped it into her hand discreetly, shoving her both hands into the front pocket of her sweatshirt when she got spooked by Gina's sudden interruption.
"You got to be kidding me."
"Oh! Hi, Gina.", startled Claire. Her surprise was not a lie. Evidently, the small hair on her forearm bristled as she gulped down her spittle.
Taking a seat on Claire's cot, Gina said "Hey. I've been looking all over for you. Did they release you?"
"Yup. I'm able-bodied, they need the bed anyway. So..."
"So, your answer was to get on with work? Come on, Claire."
"Not completely true. I had a shower." A grin from Claire, where her younger colleague shook her head in disbelief.
"Feeling better?"
"Tremendously. You going somewhere?", asked Claire, studying Gina closely. The British woman was out of her usual white blouse, miniskirt, and heels. She donned a denim shirt, skinny jeans, and trekking boots. Also, she spotted the SAT phone on the nested on her cargo utility vest.
"Yeah.
"Not home?"
"Not yet."
"Where this time?"
"Africa."
"When?"
"I fly out tomorrow morning. Wish to see you before I go." Gina was elated seeing Claire smiling, therefore she added, "What about you? Please tell me you going back home."
"I don't know. My work here is not done yet."
"Work will never be done. Trust me."
Claire raised her brows, "Speaking from someone who going to Africa, when in fact, she just arrived here yesterday."
"True.", snickered Gina. And then, she added, "Seriously we both really need a life outside work, especially you."
"You too, Gina."
After their laughter receded, Gina could not help but express her sympathy for the Redhead. "Claire... it's not fair what they did to you."
Claire nodded, averting her eyes away from Gina's hazel eyes with her head hanging low as she solemnly smiled. The images of last night came to visit her, and suddenly she felt ashamed. This was Claire. So she recovered quickly, refusing to let them land in an awkward pause. She assured, "It can happen anywhere, especially in war-torn places. Like here."
"I'm not talking about this place or the people here. They should let you stick with the truth."
"Well. I've no control over this. I cannot make it all about me."
"Okay." Gina yielded. "I gonna leave you be and for Pete's sake, no more work as for now. Please rest, cause you needed. Just for a couple of days."
Claire chuckled, "I will"
"Or else I gonna take your laptop. And bring it with me to Africa.", warned Gina lightheartedly.
Claire conceded, "Okay." Gina was on her feet, ready to take her leave when Claire called her. "Hey, Gina."
"Yeah?"
"Can I borrow your SAT phone?"
"Errmmm... Can I trust you with this?" Gina was about to hand the phone, but retracted back and said, "Don't tell me it's work."
"No, you can trust me. It's not work."
Gina handed back the phone to Claire with a smirk playing on her full lips. "Your brother or your honey bunny?"
Claire ignored Gina, punching the button for setting up the device for the phone call. Instead, Claire asked, "What time right now in DC?"
Studying her watch, Gina replied. "DC, eh? It's 9:00 am. If DC then it's honey bunny."
"There is no honey bunny."
"Yeah, right. Denied I all you want. You so missing him, even brought over his jumper. Very cute."
"Wha-?" In an instant, Claire directed her eyes to the clothes she was wearing.
Godammit!
She bit inside her mouth when she realized the sweatshirt she wearing had a pressed image of a puppy with writing -Hi! I'm Leon.- instead of a baby bear with -Hi! I'm Claire.-. It was the matching sweatshirt that they both received from Sherry last year, which got mixed up with her laundry when his last visit to New York that she had taken accidentally while packing her stuff. No wonder she had been smelling his familiar vanilla scent since she was in the shower. She already stored it separately in her compartment when she first realized the mistake. Yet, somehow things just happened and she could not recall how. Must be her head was already fried with information, reluctant to process another.
Gina's playful giggles reached Claire's ear. Gina gently tapped Claire's upper arm and commented, "Uh-ha. Uh-ha. Go make that call. If not, you gonna missed him even more. I gonna leave the two of you alone. Ciao."
Her friend left Claire squirmed in her seat with an apparent blush on her cheeks. To hide her embarrassment, without looking at Gina's exit Claire busied herself by punching Leon's number without a hitch. His number was one of a few numbers that had been implanted in her brain. Drumming her fingers on the table, she held the phone against her ear while waiting nervously for the other end to pick up. She did not need to wait long. Only one ring and her call was picked up with the most familiar voice greeting her.
"Hello."
Claire stopped drumming her finger as she was bereft of speech. Looking fixedly at the blank flimsy wall of her tent, she gnawed her already scathed lower lip. She failed to recognize how she felt because they all jumbled together. However, the person on the other end the one who was a thousand miles away seemed to understand how she felt equally.
"Claire...?" He paused to wait for her reply. When she offered him silence, he asked her again. "Claire, is that you?" He said softly, almost sounding forlorn. So, she thought it was time for her to introduce herself to him.
"Hello, Leon."
End note:
I find it weird they let Claire go since she was there with Leon and Sherry in Raccoon City. It's just a thought.