Chapter 7 Rouge Albertine

Rouge Albertine was even more stunning in person than she had been in the video. Her honey-colored hair sparkled underneath the spotlights. Her skin, which was the color of lima beans, was silky smooth and near flawless. The outfit she wore was casual, sure, with it just being a simple white blouse and a pair of olive green pants, but that didn't detract from her appearance at all. Everything about her, from her garb to the smile she sported as the Koopalings came into the room, shined with goodness. Lemmy felt good just looking at her.

"Hey, Rouge Albertine!" Lemmy called out. He sprinted toward the stage, his smile growing bigger and bigger. He was going to jump on the stage, go up, and tell Rouge all about his hopes and dreams when it came to the competition. "I am so glad to see you!" He stopped when he got to the edge of the stage, all at once noticing how high up the ledge truly was. His face fell a little bit as he tried and failed to jump up to it. "I… want… to compete… in the Ultimate… Laugh Off!" If he reached out his hand, he could almost graze the stage with the tips of his fingers. Almost.

"Well, I'm sold!" Rouge said. Even her voice sounded clearer and fresher than it had in the video recording. "Here, let me help you, Honey Muffin." Rouge went to the edge of the stage and held out her hand. Breathing out a breath of relief, Lemmy took it, and she helped him up.

"Thanks, Rouge." Lemmy blinked. "Er… Miss Albertine? Mrs. Albertine? Albertine sama?"

Rouge laughed. "Rouge is fine." Rouge studied Lemmy up and down as Lemmy's siblings came up to the stage. "Wait. You look familiar. Are you…?" Her jaw dropped when she saw the Koopalings. "Wait. You guys… you're not… you're actually… you're the Koopalings!"

Lemmy beamed and puffed out his chest. "Indeed we are!" He giggled, all while Rouge still gawked at the six other Koopas who had accompanied him. "I am Lemonade Natalie Koopa, but you can just call me Lemmy." Lemmy bounced up and down as Rouge walked over to the others. "When I heard about the Ultimate Laugh Off, I couldn't… no, WOULDN'T let this opportunity go to waste!" Lemmy shook a little, all while the smile was nowhere close to falling off his face. "I've been hyping myself up beyond all mortal comprehension over the course of the last week!"

"As you should!" Rouge turned back to Lemmy, her hair moving in the smoothest and most flowing way possible. "This is a celebration! People from everywhere in the Koopa Kingdom have come here to perform. And the fact that one of those people is a member of the royal family…" Rouge chuckled before bowing to the Koopalings. "I am honored and humbled that you guys caught wind of my contest."

"Oh, we have more than just caught wind of it, Rouge." Iggy stepped forward, looking like he was going to explode with joy. He took Rouge's hand, shaking it at a speed that was fast enough to break the actress's arm. "I am Ignatius Koopa; LONGTIME admirer of your genius!" Iggy squealed. "I've been following you for so long, but I never would've imagined I'd get a chance to meet you in person!" He backed up, observing her while looking like he was going to swoon. "You are just as amazing as I imagined you'd be!"

Rouge smirked. "Would you believe me if I told you I woke up like this?" She chuckled. "I mean, yes, I had to use gel, hairspray, shampoo, conditioner, and an economy's worth of dye on my hair, but everything else is natural I swear!"

Iggy burst into laughter. "Oh, man! I remember that joke! It was your opening line in 'Funny in My Head!' I swear, there is no better way to open a stand-up comedy special! No way at all!"

Rouge snickered. "So you're saying I peeked with my second special; good to know." Iggy's face fell, but Rouge just laughed. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" She playfully poked Iggy's arm. "I know that's not what you meant." She giggled. "I know I didn't peek with that special… cause me peeking is the definition of an oxymoron. Anyway!" She turned back to Lemmy. "You're going to be my next victim… I mean, contestant!" She laughed. "I must say, I am very glad to have Lemmy Koopa aboard." She walked forward, her teeth glowing almost as brightly as the spotlights. "I've watched your work, you know."

Lemmy gasped. "You have?"

"Oh yeah!" Rouge laughed as Iggy, who still looked like he was falling head-over-heels over Rouge, crept in closer. "I remember when your brother had you as the opening act for his symphony. You were absolutely adorable then!" She beamed at him. "In a humorous way, of course."

Lemmy felt a warmth spread throughout his body. Someone really had been impacted by his work? Someone had managed to not only remember the time he put on a show, but could also say they liked it? Wow. Such a concept had been almost alien to Lemmy before. It had seemed like a mountain he could never hope to scale, so this reveal made him feel better than ever.

"Thank you, Rouge. You have no idea how much that means to me."

Rouge gave Lemmy a warm look as Iggy reached out with his finger toward her. "Oh, I think I do. Like many comedians, I revel in my work being seen and enjoyed by others, so I think I know how you…" She stopped and slapped Iggy's hand. "Hey, paws off the merchandise!" She sent him an irked look. "Looks like someone needs to learn the phrase 'looky looky, no touchy touchy.'"

Iggy's face turned pink as the others laughed. "I… I apologize, Rouge. I was… I was just… I've been feeling…" he shrunk away. "I apologize, my behavior was inappropriate."

Lemmy giggled. "Aww, Iggy! That was sweet! I am very TOUCHED by your words."

Rouge burst into laughter. "Oh, man!" She wiped a tear from her eye and grinned at Lemmy. "I think I'm gonna like you, Lemonade Natalie Koopa!"

"Thanks!" Lemmy cleared his throat and stepped forward. "Now, about the contest in question…"

"Oh! Yes yes, I imagine you have been wondering about that." She smoothed out her shirt. "The contest officially gets started tomorrow. There are forty people competing in total, and thirty-nine of those forty people are staying in The Smoothest Suite Hotel at this very moment." She looked down at Lemmy. "You are welcome to stay there as well, Lemmy. You can mingle with the other contestants, you can practice your acts, and you get to do all that while sleeping in a comfy bed and eating good food." Rouge's eyes sparkled. "All expenses have been paid for by yours truly, so you don't have to worry about breaking the bank."

To say Lemmy's excitement was growing would be an understatement. It wasn't growing so much as shooting up into the sky. "Thank you. That's… that's incredible!" He squeed in delight. "Oh, I'm so happy I could cry!"

Rouge smirked. "And that's exactly what we're looking for here." She turned toward the other Koopalings. "That is assuming you guys wouldn't mind departing from your brother for a little bit."

"Oh no, not at all!" Ludwig said as he stepped forward. "Whatever needs to be done for Lemmy to compete in the contest should be done! We don't have any problems with that!"

"Yeah," said Wendy. She gave Lemmy a supportive look. "We just want him to be happy."

Lemmy giggled. "Well, mission accomplished." He turned back to Rouge and held out his hand. "I look forward to showing off my particular set of skills!

Rouge took his hand and shook it. "And I look forward to seeing you use those particular set of skills. So long as this isn't a 'I will find you and I will kill you' situation." Rouge chuckled while all the Koopalings blinked. Once she realized that she wasn't getting a laugh, Rouge's face fell. "That's a 'Taken' reference. Try watching real-world movies; it'll do you all a world of good."

"Um… alright." Lemmy let go of Rouge's… actually pretty dirty hand. It was covered in a type of dirt so black that it left a stain on his own hand, which... what? Considering how classy she had appeared and acted earlier, the fact that Rogue had gotten this much dirt on Lemmy's hand struck him as really weird. Well, whatever, it was nothing soap and water couldn't fix. "Well guys, what are we waiting for? Let's go across the street to the hotel!"

…

"Holy guacamole!" Lemmy exclaimed once the Koopalings entered the suite. His eyes bulged out at the room, with a bed big enough to cover a continent and a view of Berrybark that people would probably kill to see. "This is so cool!" Without thinking, Lemmy rushed over to the bed. He bounced onto it, nearly being consumed by the feather-filled pillows and fluffy red blanket right then and there. "Can you guys believe this; this room is fancy enough for Princess Peach to stay in!"

Morton smirked. "Well, considering that we mostly kept her in a cage…" he shook his head and beamed at Lemmy. "Still, I see what you're saying. This place is beautiful."

"Speaking of beautiful, get a look outside!" Larry opened the door to the balcony, and all the Koopalings stepped out. A light breeze tickled all of their noses and ruffled all of their hair. Larry took a deep breath, letting it out in a way that dripped with satisfaction. "This is pretty nice."

"Nice?" Lemmy asked as he grinned mischievously. "Don't you mean… suite?" Lemmy giggled, with his siblings either joining him or rolling their eyes and fake laughing. "Oh man, I am on a roll today!"

"Yep!" Ludwig said. "Which, in my opinion, is the best possible sign when it comes to this event." Ludwig went up and ruffled Lemmy's hair. "I know you're gonna kick butt at this."

"Thanks." Lemmy looked out at the city of Berrybark before sighing. "I mean, I hope it's enough." He stepped forward and put his hands on the guardrail. "If I can make one person happy, if there's one person in the audience at this event who I can make smile…" he paused. "That would make things more than worth it."

"Oh, it would, would it?" Ludwig snickered and patted Lemmy on the shoulder. "Funny, I seem to recall saying the exact same thing to you earlier, but you weren't very enthusiastic about it."

Lemmy paused. "Well… I did give what you told me a lot of thought in the last week, Ludwig." He turned to his brother. "And you're right; making the life of just one person better would make things more than worth it." He paused again. "I just hope that one person for me to help is out there somewhere."

A pang flashed across Ludwig's face, but it was gone almost immediately. "You'll… you'll find them, Lemmy." He wrapped him in a hug, a hug that all the other Koopalings joined in. "I promise."

Lemmy let out a breath. "Thanks guys." He squeezed his siblings extra hard. Once he let them go, he could honestly say that he felt good. His excitement from before was still nowhere close to dissipating, and when taking Ludwig's words and promises into consideration… yeah, there was no way this wouldn't be a success. It had to be a success, right?

"Well…" Lemmy stepped back into the hotel room. "I hope you guys manage to watch the Laugh-Off on the TV." He flashed them a smile. "It's going to be quite the event."

"Of course, Lemmy," Iggy said. Lemmy started moving toward the door, making him blink. "Where are you going?"

Lemmy giggled, the excitement in his heart still on a consistent rise. "I think now would be a good time to go meet the competition."