Dr. Kim takes a deep breath before she speaks, "Ms. Paulsen, I can confirm that your chances of conceiving and carrying a baby to full term are reduced. The results of your tests show that if you were to get pregnant, there's a higher-than-average risk to miscarry."

Donna's throat closes, and she chokes out a sob as hot tears spill onto her cheeks.

"This news can be difficult to hear, but it doesn't mean you won't be able to have a child," Kim continues, a compassionate look on her face. "As I tell all my patients, it's important to remember that many women with similar conditions go on to have healthy pregnancies."

When Rachel notices Donna crying even harder, she squeezes her hand, rubbing her thumb in soothing circles over the back. "Is there anything you can do to help?"

"I'd recommend trying to conceive naturally for a period of time, while closely monitoring your hormonal balance and anything else that's concerning," she tells Donna. "And if we don't see progress, we can discuss other options."

"You mean IVF?"

Donna flinches at the word.

"It still doesn't eliminate the risk of a miscarriage, but yes, we can work together to optimize the chances of a healthy pregnancy, and explore assisted reproductive technologies if needed."

"Rachel," Donna croaks, her voice cut short by a sob.

The world starts to spin, the walls a brilliant white against all that darkness. Maybe if she just closes her eyes, she'd wake up in the morning and find the entire conversation was nothing more than a bad dream.

"Ms. Paulsen, I hope you don't mind me asking, but your answer will determine how we proceed… Are you actively trying for a baby?"

Donna shakes her head, her hands trembling in her lap. "No, I'm not even in a relationship right now." Her voice quivers with emotion, reflecting the pain in her eyes. "I just… I wanted to know if I should even try to…" she trails off, her throat tightening. "Rachel, can we go?"

"Of course," Rachel says with a reassuring smile. "You go ahead, honey. I'll talk to Dr. Kim, then come find you."

Murmuring her thanks, Donna rushes out the door and flees down the corridor of the private practice. She stumbles a little and puts a hand to the wall for a moment to steady herself before proceeding to the exit.

Her feet are heavy as though weighed down, and each step feels like smudging through wet cement, taking an eternity to complete the cycle. Steady breaths, then another solid step. Just keep moving, she thinks.

Time blurs around her. Seconds feel like minutes, and minutes feel like hours. All Donna can hear is her heart pounding in her chest and her heavy, guttural breathing.

Her reaction surprises even herself. The news shouldn't upset her so much. She's always known that having children might not be in her cards. But hearing it confirmed by an expert is a different kind of pain.

The fresh air hits her, knocks her back. Donna halts a moment, focusing on taking deep, slow breaths. Then she moves to sit on the small bench next to the entrance, and wipes away her tears, trying to regain her composure as she waits for Rachel to get out.

It doesn't take long for the brunette to appear. "There you are!" She breathes a sigh of relief. "Hey…" Rachel sits down next to her, resting her hand on Donna's knee.

"I don't even know why I'm so upset." Donna sighs. "I guess a part of me hoped she'd tell me there's…"

"A cure?" Rachel finishes her sentence when Donna doesn't seem to be able to. "Yeah, I don't think there is," she says, a tinge of sadness in her voice. "You just have to decide if you're willing to take the risk."

"It's always been my dream, Rachel," she whispers, her voice filled with longing. "A family of my own. I've always wanted that."

Rachel squeezes her knee, offering comfort. "And you can still have it," she promises, her smile both hopeful and sad. "You heard Dr. Kim. She thinks pregnancy is difficult but not impossible. And you know better than anyone that where there's a will, there's a way. I mean, look at your daycare. You had little to go on, but you believed in making your own luck, and now you're running the best daycare this city's ever seen."

She reaches out and brushes a strand of Donna's hair off of her face, tucking it behind her ear. "You've always been a fighter, Donna Paulsen. You're not gonna stop now."

Donna heaves a deep sigh as she looks at Rachel, her eyes filled with tears. A beat passes, but then a tiny smirk appears on Donna's face as she says, "Do you think I should try dating apps again?"

Rachel laughs at the joke. "Please don't," she replies, shuddering at the thought. "The last time you used a dating app, you accidentally matched with your yoga teacher. Also, may I remind you of the man who brought his pet snake to your date?" She snorts. "I'm so done hearing about your dating app mishaps."

"Hey," Donna protests, "My yoga teacher was hot. The only reason we didn't go on a date is because she didn't want things to become awkward between us." She grins. "And that snake… It was actually more interesting than its owner."

"See?" Rachel grins back at her. "You and those apps, it just never works out. So, please stick to finding a man offline. Maybe we can have another girls' night out?"

"I'd love that. Thanks, Rach."

"Always," Rachel says, smiling.

"Should we—" Donna's question is interrupted by her phone's insistent ringing. She fumbles for it in her purse, her eyes scanning the caller ID. "It's... Harvey." Her breath hitches as she answers, "Harvey, what's up?"

•••

When she returns home, Harvey's sitting on the top step of her house. His gaze is fixed intently on a point at his feet, his body as motionless as a carved statue. Lost in his own world, he seems oblivious to her arrival, allowing her a moment to study him.

He looks utterly defeated, his usual commanding presence eclipsed by the way he's huddled deep into his overcoat, shoulders slumped, and his face turned away from the world.

It makes Donna wonder if there's something else going on besides the drama about the forgotten stuffed animal. She knows it's none of her business, but she wishes she could ask him about it, just to make sure he's okay. She hates to see him suffer silently.

"Harvey?" she speaks gently, trying not to startle him.

He rises, and a faint smile flickers over his features as if reading her thoughts. She blushes instantly at the tenderness in his soft glance.

"Donna," he sighs her name like a prayer.

His voice echoes in her ears, curled warmly inside of her, and Donna winces, fighting it. She loves the way he says her name. All soft and drawn out, almost drawled. How does he always make it sound so intimate? As if he's savoring the feel of it rolling off his tongue.

"I'm sorry for bothering you with this, but, unfortunately, it can't wait until tomorrow. She won't sleep without him."

"It's okay. I should be the one who's sorry," she replies, offering him a warm smile. "I should've made sure Eden had all her stuff before she left."

"Do you know where he is?"

"Yeah, I think I know." She giggles softly. "Come on in."

Donna unlocks the door and puts her purse and key ring on the chest underneath the coat rack, then she takes off her coat and hangs it in the tiny closet that stores some of her favorites.

"Last time I saw Mr. Snuggles, Eden was playing with him outside," she says, heading to the back of the house, followed by Harvey.

Opening the sliding glass door, Donna steps onto the patio. A large, landscaped garden stretches out in front of her. Tidy beds on either side of a neatly mown lawn, all enclosed by a high red-brick wall covered with ivy.

She lets her gaze wander, then walks over to the jungle gym, a wooden fortress in the heart of the backyard.

A vertical climbing wall and stepladder lead up to a spacious platform, complete with a balcony offering a bird's-eye view of the garden. It is connected with an enclosed playhouse that Donna built herself. Underneath, there is a huge sandpit and a lounge area with a wooden floor and a comfortable bench that doubles as a storage box.

"Bingo," she calls out as she spots Mr. Snuggle's tail peeking out from the platform. "He's right up there."

Harvey breathes a sigh of relief. "Thank God! For a moment I feared we'd lost him at the store."

Donna reaches for Eden's stuffed animal, then swiftly turns around. As she does, she accidentally brushes against him and nearly freezes as a sizzle runs along her nerve endings. She leaps away like a startled rabbit.

"Something wrong?"

Only then does she realize she's been staring at him too long, and that he's stepped away from her.

"Nothing," she manages to answer, a nervous chuckle escaping her as she hands Harvey the toy. "Here."

When he reaches out, she feels a slight hesitation in his movement, as if he's trying to avoid touching her again. She wonders if it's because of her reaction.

Donna looks at him, and her gaze falls to his lips. She can't help it. It's like she's inevitably drawn to them. They look so soft, and supple, and more inviting than any man's lips have a right to.

The urge to kiss him is so intense she has to remind herself to breathe. Swallowing, she takes a step back, instead of moving forward into his arms like she wants, and looks up, meeting his gaze.

Why do they always end up standing so close? Is the universe trying to tell her something?

"Can I invite you for a cup of coffee?" she asks.

No, no, no, she scolds herself. That's certainly not gonna help her out of her predicament – spending even more time with him, especially now when she can't stop thinking about the feel of his damn lips on hers.

"Maybe some other time."

Harvey's voice is so deep that every word sounds velvety and soothing. Why is it that when he speaks, she just loses all ability to think straight? She doesn't hear it so much as feels it vibrating in her chest.

"I have to get back to my daughter."

"S-sure," Donna murmurs. "Right. I understand." An embarrassed smile crosses her face. "Forget I even asked. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah," he hums. "And thanks for this, Donna."

"Tell Eden I said hi."

"I will," Harvey says with a smile, before he turns around to leave.

The moment he is out of sight, Donna heads back inside and goes upstairs. She bursts into the first-floor living room, making Scottie jump at the sudden intrusion.

"Jesus, Donna," she gasps.

"God, I think I'm going insane," Donna groans as she collapses onto the couch next to her roommate.

"Why?" Scottie asks, putting her book aside.

"I need sex! I need someone to fuck me so hard I can't walk for three days." She throws her head back, staring at the ceiling. Then she looks at Scottie from the corner of her eye. "Do you remember Mike and Rachel's friend?"

"Harvey Specter, yes. What about him?"

"Think of a guy who's so incredibly handsome, so sexy, you'd spend a lifetime awake just to be able to stare at him. And then think of that man – on top of all that hotness – being a great father, too."

"Where are you going with this?" Scottie says, laughing. She pauses, thinking, then arches an eyebrow at Donna. "Are you saying you're having the hots for the new dad?"

Donna sighs deeply, covering her face with her hands. "I kinda… I thought about kissing him. I mean, not in a way that I would've actually gone ahead and kissed him, but I imagined what it would feel like to make out with him."

"This sounds like you're a teenager experiencing your first crush," she teases her.

"That's exactly how it feels, Scottie," Donna retorts. "I don't know what that man is doing to me, and it's driving me nuts. If I were thinking straight, I'd tell him to find another daycare, because this… this is so goddamn unprofessional," she rants on. "Like, now it's only his lips I'm thinking about, but you and I both know it doesn't stop there. I'm dangerously close to imagining other things."

"Is that why… You want someone to fuck you to keep you from jumping his bones, don't you?"

"If I don't feed this pussy some serious dick soon, I'm gonna lose it," she says, half in earnest, half in jest.

"Well, then you should come with me to this workshop I'm doing tonight," Scottie proposes. "I'm teaching the art of cunnilingus and fingering."

The look on Donna's face makes her laugh. "Not that you need it," she adds. "You're a… cunning linguist… but a lot of men will be there, and after two hours, I'm sure they'll be dying to put their learnings to a test."

"Count me in," Donna replies without hesitation, smirking.

Scottie smirks back, but then her expression shifts into something much more serious. "Donna, you're not actually considering ending your arrangement with Harvey, are you? I mean, despite… you know…"

This time, Donna takes a moment before she answers. "No," she says softly, shaking her head. "I know it sounds crazy, but I feel like Eden… Harvey's little girl… I feel like she needs me." Letting out a soft sigh, she smiles. "We already have a connection, Scottie, and I don't wanna give that up. It means more to me than any feelings I have about this man."

"So, you do have feelings for him?"

"I don't know," Donna says, frustrated. "All I know is that he makes me feel things I haven't felt since… Since…"

"Mark."

She feels her heart tighten at the mention of his name. "Mark," she echoes with a touch of sadness in her voice. "And it's scaring the shit outta me!"

Donna ruffles her long hair, a conflicted expression on her face. "I can't fall for him," she whispers. "Harvey… I can't…" She feels tears coming and squeezes her eyes shut, willing herself to pull it together.

"Because of your damn rule? Donna, that's stupid!"

"No, you know what's stupid…" Donna wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. "Talking about something that may never happen," she says defiantly. "I'm probably just ovulating, and this has actually nothing to do with Harvey. It's just my desire to get laid that's making me feel this."

"Maybe," Scottie replies, "but I still need you to know that if you were to fall for Harvey, there'd be a way to make it work without compromising your job or reputation."

She looks at Donna for a moment before she continues. "You promised yourself to never get involved with one of your parents, and I get that. You don't want it to shed a bad light on you professionally or risk losing what you have with their child if it doesn't work out. But if that keeps you from being happy, Donna, I'm not just gonna sit around and watch you ruin your life."

Donna lets out a deep sigh in answer.

"And this isn't about Harvey Specter. This is about you. About you finding love. Someone who makes you feel giddy and warm and safe and sexy all at once."

"Sounds like a dream," she whispers.

"You once dreamed about running your own daycare and look at you now," Scottie says, smiling.

Donna chuckles. "That's what Rachel said, too, earlier, except she was talking about my dream of becoming a mother."

"Well, what if a few years from now you could have both a husband who adores you and a baby?"

"You think so?"

"I have faith," Scottie tells her. "Just promise me I get to give out some goodie bags at your wedding."

Donna laughs heartily at that. "I'm sure my guests would appreciate the fancy sex toys…"

"Apropos of that… I got a new one that you should definitely try out." She jumps off the couch and disappears for a while before she returns. "Et voilà!"

"Oh, my God," Donna gasps. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Mm-hm." Scottie smirks as she throws the packaged toy at her. "Let me know if I should order more of these after you're done. I haven't decided yet."

"It'll be my pleasure," Donna quips.

•••

Surrounded by people soaking up Scottie's wisdom, Donna feels slightly uncomfortable. Everyone showed up at this workshop to learn something, and here she is, looking for a potential one-night stand.

She knows she shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed. She's gone to bars for the same reason – find a guy suitable for a quickie. It doesn't make her a bad person. Harvey wouldn't think less of her if he knew, would he?

Focus, she commands herself. She's here to escape him, not have every thought of him consume her. She needs to silence the part of her that yearns for him.

Relief washes over her when she's paired up with a sturdily built man, a welcome distraction from her thoughts. Being so close to this handsome stranger, the feel of his hands on her, sends a surge of arousal through her, her body tightening with desire.

She learns his name is Brett. He's from Vermont, a few years younger than her, and works in finance.

He doesn't shy away from telling her he's already pretty great at giving women pleasure – he doesn't want her to think he sucks in bed – but that he likes to keep educating himself. Then he casually drops that he's single, and it makes Donna smirk widely at him.

"Must be my lucky day then," she purrs. "Any plans for tonight?"

His lecherous gaze swoops down to her breasts, then hungrily rises to her eyes. "What do you have in mind?"

"Drinks, then your place?" she suggests.

"Deal," he grins.

She's had her fair share of casual sexual encounters, especially after Mark, and safety has always been a priority. So, she texts Rachel Brett's address, including the number of his apartment. She shouldn't follow a stranger home without someone knowing her location.

As they step into the elevator, Brett leans back against the wall and rakes his eyes brazenly over her body, stopping where her breasts rise firmly underneath her dress. Then he lifts his eyes, meets hers.

"Your tits look huge," he growls. "I'm so horny, Donna. I'm not sure I can wait till we're inside my apartment."

Donna's gaze flicks down to the way his hardened length is pushing against his zipper, then back to his face. "Then do something about it," she demands.

He crosses the space between them, pushing the emergency button on his way over. Then he grabs her by the hips and slams her up against the opposite wall, remembering just in time to cushion her impact with his arm. Pressing against her, he stares into her lust-filled face as he jerks her dress up roughly, his fingers teasing her through the thin fabric.

"You're soaking!"

Donna answers with a forceful kiss, already tugging at his belt. He seizes her wrists and pins them to the wall. Her hips tilt against his, and she moans into his mouth.

She wrenches her head to the side, freeing her lips to curse at him. "Just fuck me, already!"

He bites her earlobe hard enough to make her gasp, then releases her wrists, sensing she is at the end of her patience. Immediately, Donna's hands wander, unbuckling his belt, opening the button of his slacks, and, in one swift move, lowering his zipper. He yanks down his pants and boxers, just far enough, suppressing a groan of relief as he frees his cock from the pressure of his pants.

"Fill me up," she grits out, seizing Brett's head and pushing harder against his mouth.

He responds swiftly, fiercely, running his hand down her bare leg, pulling it up. She hooks it around his waist, and he tightly wraps his arm around it, tugging her closer, supporting her with his strength. With his other hand, he pushes her panties aside, almost frantic with need for her.

"Mm, so tight," he hums, sliding two fingers inside of her as he tries to get her ready for him. "Been a while since someone fucked that gorgeous pussy, huh?"

In a single fierce thrust, he is inside her, slamming her into the wall, holding her up. They both cry out as one, and it is all he can do to brace her as the incredible pleasure rolls through them.

"Don't be gentle," she pants.

"I wasn't going to," he growls, sucking at her collarbone as he pulls out completely and then pushes back in, even harder and more forcefully this time.

Donna grips his back and rests her head against his shoulder. Her teeth rake his skin, making him groan in approval. She closes her eyes in concentration at the feeling of his thick cock roughly stroking her innermost parts.

A cry rings out, then softens to a long, drawn-out moan as he thrusts deeper, forcing her back against the icy wall of the elevator, changing the angle of the penetration just enough to hit her sweet spot.

"Harder," she cries out.

"You like it rough, don't you?" he whispers, his breath hot against her neck.

He gets brutal with his thrusts, wrapping his hand around Donna's throat, squeezing gently but firmly. Shards of electricity shoot through her as her arousal peaks. She fastens her ankles around his body and whimpers while his rough grunts and growls rain down on her.

Her orgasm swirls within, gaining momentum and force as he continues his thrusts. Over and over again, his cock head slips and presses against her g-spot. She arches her back on a deliciously hard plunge.

Soon enough, her climax rushes along her nerves, springing forth in an intensity that surprises her. The pure sensations of pleasure course through her with every beat of her heart, each breath labored with the force of his demands.

Brett keeps fucking her through her orgasm, pushing inexorably past her trembling inner muscles, giving her no choice but to stay spread wide for him. He bites gently at her neck as he cups one breast through the fine fabric, squeezing hard.

"Don't you dare cum inside my pussy," Donna warns as her pleasure subsides, her voice strained.

"What about your mouth?" he says through deep breaths, his body twitching slightly.

"Mm-hm," she hums.

He lets go of her leg and jerks his dick out, stroking himself as he watches her slowly get down on her knees.

The sight of her at his feet, her mouth slightly open, ready to take his cum, finally tips him over the edge and he pushes his cock past her lips, groaning until liquid heat spurts down Donna's throat.

As soon as he can blink his vision back into existence, he realizes she released his cock and is licking away the last remains of his salty eruption. He lifts his hips slightly, growls, and places his hand on her head.

"Shit, you're incredible," he curses. She backs off and stands, watching him pull his pants up. "C'mere."

He crushes his mouth on hers again, tasting himself on her tongue. As he kisses her, his hand finds the panel, fumbling for a while, before his fingers locate the intercom button. He holds it until he hears a response.

Tearing his lips away from Donna's, he speaks, "Uh, hi, we're stuck in the elevator on the 12th floor. We accidentally pressed the emergency stop button and can't get it moving again."

"Thank you for contacting us," the calm voice replies. "A technician will be dispatched to your location shortly. Please stay calm and wait for assistance."

"So…" He meets Donna's gaze, eyes dark with desire. "It usually takes ten minutes for maintenance to show up."

"Usually?" She raises an eyebrow at him, can't fight back a smirk. "Do you do this often?"

"Nah," he says, shaking his head, "Only with women who deserve special treatment."

He steps closer, never taking his eyes from her as he slides his hand back under her dress and up the smooth, silky skin of her thigh, his fingers finding their target with unerring accuracy.

"Oh God," she gasps at the sensation.

Two fingers spear into her, coaxing a shudder from her. The shudder becomes a spasm when he strokes just the right spot inside, then he withdraws his hand, leaving her empty until she wants to cry out in despair.

"I'm making sure you'll remember this night," he rasps, smiling smugly.

At that, he pushes his fingers inside her again, deeper this time, his thumb gliding over her clit harder and faster. Murmuring his name, Donna wants to shut her eyes, but even as he inserts a third finger, she holds his gaze.

"You look so hot when you cum," he breathes, his muscles twitching in response, his cock hardening.

A slight scissoring of his fingers in her slick sheath draws her last strand of control, and she bucks against his hand, shuddering around him. She holds on as pleasure floods every inch of her, making the world spin before her eyes.

When Donna comes back down from her high and looks at him, he smiles appreciatively. "You taste incredible, too," he remarks, satisfied, while licking her juices off his fingers.

She drops her head back against the wall and takes a deep breath, then emits a low chuckle. "God, I really needed that," she admits shamelessly.

He grins at her. "Told you I didn't need the workshop."

Before Donna can respond, the elevator starts moving again. "Right on time," Brett notes.

As they make it to the 15th floor, he glances sideways at her, mumbling, "I guess I'll see you around," and gets off the elevator without another word.

Donna scoffs, laughing at the absurdity of the moment. It's ridiculous, so clinical – as if he hasn't just been balls deep inside her, and fingered her into oblivion.

The sex was amazing. She doesn't regret fucking him. But why is it that somehow she feels like a hooker? Worse even. She feels dirty, like an old toy that a child has grown weary of, and tossed aside in search of a newer, shinier toy.

A part of her wants to blame him for all of it. She would have had better judgment in men, and taken her time to make sure this whole thing ended up being a bit more romantic, if he hadn't made her feel so… horny.

See, and even after she just had her brains fucked out, he is still on her mind. That is her goddamn problem – she just can't stop thinking about Harvey Specter.

Donna checks her reflection in the mirrored wall, smooths her dress back down, and pushes the button to ride down to the lobby. The elevator chimes, stopping only one floor below Brett's, but she barely registers it.

Her eyes fly to the opening doors, and a strangled sound escapes her lips. "Harvey…"