The Trouble with Wanting
They left the hotel not long ago, Eden bundled in her puffy blue coat, wobbling in her tiny boots, determined to walk even though her steps are anything but steady on the icy pavement. Harvey has half a mind to scoop her up and carry her the whole way, but she gives him that look—the one that so perfectly mirrors his own stubbornness.
He crouches in front of Eden, adjusting the knit hat that's slipped slightly off her ears. The cold November air nips at his cheeks as he pulls the hat snugly into place, his fingers lingering for a moment to tuck a stray curl away from her face.
"So, tell me again, why does Mr. Snuggles need a wife?" Harvey asks, his lips curling into a faint smirk.
Eden squints up at him, her nose a little red from the chill. "Because then his babies will have a mommy," she replies matter-of-factly, her voice sweet and bright. There's no sorrow in her tone, no hesitation. She says it like it's the most natural thing in the world.
Harvey straightens slowly, brushing imaginary wrinkles from the front of his coat as he processes her answer. "And they will be a real family," she adds, clutching the plush T. rex tightly to her chest.
Harvey stares at her, his heart giving a faint tug. He slips his hands into his coat pockets, and says, "Does that mean we're not a real family?" He watches her face closely, looking for some sign of what she might be feeling, but Eden only tilts her head, considering.
"We're a team," she replies firmly, as if it's a point of pride. Her tiny hand reaches for his, her fingers tucked into little mittens that her grandmother made.
"But I'm your daddy and you're my daughter," Harvey counters gently. "Doesn't that make us a family?"
Eden hums, a long, thoughtful sound that makes him smile. "I don't know," she finally says, scrunching her nose the way she always does when she's thinking hard. Her grip on his hand tightens, and she looks up at him with wide, earnest eyes. "But I love you, Daddy. Very much."
Her words hit him like a warm breeze on this cold winter's day, thawing something deep in his chest. Harvey lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, his smile softening. "I love you too, Eden," he tells her, squeezing her hand. The love she gives him is absolute, pure, and unreserved—and it's more than enough. Most days.
But some days, like today, Harvey can't help but notice the gaps. The questions she doesn't know how to ask yet but instinctively feels. He's heard that a child will mourn the loss of a parent they never knew, that they can sense what's missing even if they can't name it. And sometimes he wonders if Eden's quiet longing for a "real family" is just her way of giving voice to what she doesn't understand but still feels.
"I know somewhere we can go to find Mr. Snuggles a lovely wife," Harvey says after a moment. He can't bear to leave her hanging in the heavy silence for too long.
Eden beams up at him. "Really?" she chirps, her excitement contagious.
"Really," Harvey confirms with a wink.
He scoops Mr. Snuggles from her arms and tucks the plush T. rex under his coat, pressing it snug against his chest. The dinosaur's little head pokes out just beneath his scarf, and Harvey catches the amused glances of passersby as they smile or stifle a laugh. He doesn't care. If it makes Eden happy, he'd carry a dozen dinosaurs under his coat without a second thought.
"Daddy?" Eden's voice interrupts his thoughts as they walk, her hand swinging lightly in his.
"Yeah, kiddo?"
"Do you think Mr. Snuggles will love his wife?"
Harvey suppresses a chuckle, looking down at her. "I think if she's anything like you, he won't have a choice."
Eden giggles, her laughter ringing out like tiny bells. She looks up at him with a smile so big it could light the entire city. Moments like these remind him why he loves taking her along on business trips that are often dull and exhausting. She makes him see the world differently—brighter, warmer, simpler.
They weave through the bustling streets of Chicago until they reach the towering, stone facade of the Field Museum. Harvey leans into the heavy door, his shoulder pushing it open. A wave of warmth greets them, carrying the faint scent of polished wood and a trace of something earthy, like old books or timeworn artifacts.
Eden takes an excited step forward, her breath fogging the glass entrance for a brief second before she's swept inside. The interior is vast, the kind of space that feels as though it stretches infinitely upward. The marble floor gleams under the soft light, and Eden's footsteps falter as she takes it all in, her eyes widening until they seem almost too big for her little face.
"Wow," she breathes, her voice barely audible as she looks up at the towering dinosaur skeletons. Harvey can't help but smile. It's a good feeling, watching her see something for the first time. A kind of magic that adults forget to look for.
They round a corner, and there she is: SUE, the museum's iconic T. rex. The fossil looms over them, her massive skull tilted slightly as if she's sizing them up. Eden gasps audibly, her mittened hand flying to her mouth before she points with uncontained excitement.
Harvey crouches beside her, looking up at the impressive display. "There she is," he whispers. "The real SUE. What do you think?"
Eden's mouth forms a perfect little 'O' as she takes in the sheer size of the skeleton, her small frame dwarfed by the ancient predator's imposing presence. "She's… big!" she says, her voice hushed and filled with awe, as though speaking louder might wake the bones.
Harvey chuckles softly, watching as she pulls at Mr. Snuggles' head, still peeking out from beneath his scarf. The plush dinosaur emerges, a little squished from the journey but no worse for wear. Eden cradles him carefully in her arms, turning him toward the fossilized T. rex as though introducing them.
"Do you think his wife is going to be big too?"
"Guess we'll have to find out," Harvey replies, smirking, as he rises to his full height. He places a hand on her back, gently steering her toward the museum's gift shop.
The shop is a kaleidoscope of colors and curiosities, the shelves lined with everything from educational books to shiny trinkets, postcards, and plush toys. The brightly lit space hums with activity, but Eden seems to zero in on her target almost immediately. It only takes a moment before she lets out a squeal of delight, dropping Harvey's hand and dashing forward.
"There she is!" she cries, pointing to a plush dinosaur perched among a row of souvenirs. The plush SUE is soft and green, with oversized eyes and a goofy, endearing grin—a far cry from her fearsome skeletal counterpart in the exhibit hall.
Harvey trails behind her, watching as she carefully plucks the toy from the shelf. She holds it aloft like a trophy, her face alight with joy. "It's her! It's Mr. Snuggles' wife!"
He looks at her with a mix of pride and amusement. "You're sure about this? She's the one?"
Eden nods, her expression serious despite the excitement brimming in her eyes. "She's perfect." She holds Mr. Snuggles and the plush SUE together, pressing their snouts gently against one another. "See? They already love each other."
A laugh rumbles in Harvey's chest as he watches her. "Alright," he says, gesturing toward the counter. "Let's make it official. Come on."
Eden falls into step beside him, her new plush tucked under one arm as she starts chattering animatedly. Harvey half-listens as they approach the register, his focus split between her words and the sheer joy radiating off her.
"You will love Ms. Donna," Eden tells the plush SUE. "Mr. Snuggles loves her, too, because she is really nice and so pretty! Sometimes she sings and she sounds like an angel." Eden giggles, glancing up at her father. "Ms. Donna is beautiful, right, Daddy?"
Harvey freezes for a split second, the comment knocking the breath from him. He clears his throat, hoping to sound nonchalant. "Y-yeah," he stammers, feeling a warmth rise to his cheeks that has nothing to do with the overheated gift shop. "She is."
Eden giggles again, as though she knows she's caught him off guard.
When they reach the counter, the woman behind it looks up, her eyes immediately catching on the plush dinosaurs in Eden's arms and then flitting to Harvey. She gives a polite but slightly curious smile, fluttering her eyelids in that way people do when they're trying to appear more approachable.
"Someone's happy," she notes, her gaze shifting back to Eden, who's handing Harvey the plush toy, albeit grudgingly, so he can pay for it.
"Mr. Snuggles here was in desperate need of a wife," Harvey says smoothly, his signature smirk sliding into place as he pulls out his credit card. He sets it on the counter, one hand resting lightly on the edge of the register.
The cashier chuckles, her laughter soft and warm. "Oh, I see," she replies, scanning the tag on the plush SUE. "Well, I'm glad he found someone. She looks like a perfect match."
Handing SUE back to Eden, Harvey watches her as she starts making the two dinosaurs "talk" to each other in quiet, dramatic tones. Out of the corner of his eye, he can feel the woman's gaze lingering on him, an unmistakable curiosity in her expression. He's been in enough rooms and situations to recognize the look—she's wondering about him. Is he single? Does he have a wife?
"Me too," he says, his voice dropping slightly as he shifts his weight, leaning casually against the counter. "It's not always easy pleasing my daughter, but SUE's the perfect addition to our family."
Without thinking, his right hand comes up to cup his jaw, his fingers kneading it as if to work out the tension there. He doesn't realize what he's doing until he catches the way the woman's gaze flickers—just briefly—down to the glint of his wedding ring. The diamond chips catch the bright store light, sending tiny sparks of color across the polished countertop.
The change in her expression is immediate, a swift shift from interest to polite distance. She straightens, adjusting the items on the counter as if suddenly reminded of her place. Disappointment lingers in her smile, faint but unmistakable. And that's when it hits him—what he just did. He didn't mean to scare the woman off. It wasn't like she was being pushy or inappropriate, just… friendly.
Harvey swallows hard, guilt pooling in his stomach. He shouldn't have done that. Shouldn't have used Zoe as a shield, or rather her ring, to ward off attention he wasn't even sure existed outside his head in the first place. It feels wrong, almost cruel, like he's tarnished something sacred, cheapened his wife's memory somehow. She deserves better than to be a silent deterrent, her absence used as a barrier to keep others at arm's length.
His chest tightens, the familiar ache of loss creeping in around the edges, but then Eden's bright voice breaks through his thoughts, her words pulling him back to the present. "They're going to have babies," she declares, holding up the plush dinosaurs so the cashier can see. "Lots of babies." Her tone is so matter-of-factly that it pulls a genuine, musical laugh from the woman.
Harvey glances over, momentarily struck by the sound. It's beautiful. The kind of laugh that could make someone's day, and before he knows it, he's smiling too.
"Well," he says, sliding his credit card back into his wallet, "I guess I'd better start saving for college." He takes the receipt the woman offers him with a polite nod.
"Good luck with that," she quips, her smile returning, though a touch more reserved now. "Have a great day."
"You too." Harvey slips the receipt into his coat pocket and gestures for Eden to follow him. His daughter waves cheerfully at the stranger before skipping to catch up with him, already chattering to the two dinosaurs about their upcoming wedding.
"So," he says after a moment, "are we ready to go see Jessica?"
Eden nods quickly, her curls bouncing under her hat. "Yes!"
Harvey adjusts his scarf, falling into stride beside her. "Great. She's excited to see you again," he tells her, thinking of the last time Jessica saw Eden.
Her support had been subtle but unwavering when Zoe passed, the kind of thing Harvey hadn't even realized he needed until it was there. And now, years later, her willingness to step in again—to provide a safe place for Eden while he handles the high-stakes mess of this case—reminds him why he trusts her so implicitly.
He and Mike had been brought in by their firm's Chicago affiliate to resolve a high-profile merger dispute between two major corporations, one of them their client. On paper, the deal was supposed to go smoothly, the kind of corporate handshake that looks good for everyone involved. But things took a nosedive when allegations of fraud surfaced at the eleventh hour, threatening to unravel the entire agreement.
Jessica has offered her insight on the merger. But more importantly, she's offered to help with Eden when he's inevitably tied up in court or locked in endless conference calls. As a warm, neutral way to reintroduce his daughter to Jessica and her family, they agreed to have brunch together, before leaving Eden to play at Jessica's house.
Thinking about it, Harvey feels a small flicker of unease at the back of his mind. He knows Jessica will be great with Eden, but every transition, every new arrangement, still carries the weight of uncertainty. He wonders if it'll ever stop. If he'll ever feel… normal. Well, at least he's not one of those helicopter parents, or else Donna would've told him. Right?
As they walk, he glances down at Eden, who's now fully engrossed in the conversation between Mr. Snuggles and Sue Snuggles. "They're getting married now," she informs him solemnly, her voice full of the conviction only a three-year-old can muster.
He smiles, affection emanating from his eyes. "That's a pretty big day for them. Think they're ready for it?"
Eden nods firmly. "They're ready," she says. "And then they'll have babies."
Harvey laughs under his breath. "Of course," he murmurs. "How could I forget?"
He watches as Eden nuzzles the plush dinosaurs with her nose, her joy so genuine that he feels it radiate through him. She stops abruptly, looking up at him with wide, expectant eyes.
"Can you take them before they get cold?" she asks, holding the stuffed animals out toward him with both hands.
Harvey suppresses a chuckle and obliges without hesitation, tucking the dinosaurs securely under his coat. "Sure," he says, adjusting them until they sit snugly against his chest. "How's this? You like them like this?"
Eden's face lights up with approval. "They look really rosy," she declares.
"You mean cozy," he corrects gently, though he doesn't bother hiding his grin. "But yeah, they do." He pats their little heads lightly with his gloved hand, adding, "Mr. Snuggles and Sue Snuggles are nice and warm now."
A laugh bubbles out of her and she skips a little, the excitement of her new "family" keeping her energized even as the cold wind blows around them. As they cross the street, Eden pipes up with one of her usual non sequiturs. "Ava said she will be a big sister."
"Wow, that's great news! Is she getting a baby brother or a sister?"
"A baby brother," Eden replies.
"A baby brother, huh? Bet she's excited."
Eden grows quiet for a beat, her little hand tightening around his. He drops his gaze and sees that look she gets when she's deep in thought—brows furrowed, lips pursed like she's chewing on the words she wants to say next.
"Daddy? Can I have a baby brother, too?"
Harvey freezes for half a step before forcing himself to keep walking. The question catches him off guard, like so many of her questions lately. A question so simple in her mind but laced with complexity in his. She's getting older, and with that comes more complicated thoughts, more intricate feelings—things she doesn't even realize she's making him face.
"Oh, Edie, that's…" He swallows, his throat suddenly dry. The words stick, and he shifts his gaze to the street ahead, watching as cars pass by, their headlights glinting in the morning haze. "That's not really something Daddy can promise you," he says finally, his voice careful. "Listen, I know you want a family, but these things… they take time. You can't rush them."
He risks a glance down at her. Eden's small face is tilted upward, her big blue eyes locked on him, searching for answers he isn't sure he can give.
"How long?" she asks, her tiny brow furrowed in concentration, as if trying to solve a puzzle.
Harvey huffs softly, frustration building—not at her, but at himself, at the impossible situation he's been navigating since the day she was born. "I wish I had an answer to that question," he mutters, running a hand through his hair.
He stops walking, crouching to her level so she can see the seriousness in his expression. His coat brushes against the sidewalk, and the cold seeps through the fabric, but he ignores it. He has to do this right.
"The thing is, honey, there's no magic button I can push to make it happen," he says, keeping his tone as even as he can. "I can't just decide to fall in love. And even if I did, I'd have to find someone who loves you just as much as they love me. Someone who wants to be part of our team."
Eden studies him intently, her nose scrunching slightly. "And then I can have a baby brother?" she asks, her voice so hopeful it makes his chest ache.
Harvey exhales sharply, feeling like he's trapped between wanting to give her the world and the harsh reality of their situation. "Eden…" he starts, his voice soft, but she cuts him off.
"Do you want only me?"
"You mean if I'm happy just having one child?" he clarifies gently. Eden nods, her lips pressed together in an uncertain line.
Harvey straightens up, taking a steadying breath before kneeling again, his hands resting lightly on her tiny shoulders as he studies her face. God, she's the spitting image of her mother—her cheekbones, her hair, even the way her lips quirk to the side when she asks something serious.
He meets her gaze directly, wanting her to feel the truth of his words. "I have the sweetest, smartest, most amazing kid in the world," he murmurs. "What more could I want?" He leans in closer, his forehead almost brushing hers. "You're everything to me, Eden. Everything. Okay?"
She smiles a little, but he can still see the question lingering in her expression, the weight of it not fully gone.
"But yeah…" he continues softly, his voice faltering for a moment. He clears his throat. "If I hadn't lost your mommy, I think I would've wanted more kids. I think we both would've."
"And now?" she asks, her voice smaller, more hesitant. "You don't want more?"
Harvey sighs, closing his eyes briefly as he stands back up, tugging his coat tighter around himself. "It's not that I don't want more. It's just not that easy," he admits, his voice low.
"Why not?" Eden says, her tone insistent now, as if she's trying to figure out the parts of this he hasn't said out loud.
He looks down at her, his jaw tightening as he struggles to find the right words. "Because…" He trails off, sighing deeply, running a hand down his face.
How does he explain something so complicated to someone so small? How does he tell her that the idea of starting over, of opening himself up like that again, feels impossible some days? That it's not just about finding someone else, but about finding the courage to try?
How can he make her understand without crushing the innocent hope she carries? He doesn't want to hurt her, doesn't want to dim the light in her eyes. But the truth of it, that idea of her becoming a big sister, isn't something he can entertain, not fully.
It's not that he can't imagine having another child—he can. In some ways, the thought feels almost too perfect, like a puzzle piece waiting to click into place. It's that the cost of having that dream is a gamble he isn't sure he can take. He lost so much when he had Eden. So much.
He swallows hard, closing his eyes for a moment. He loves her fiercely, with a depth that startles him sometimes. Every single day, he's grateful for the little girl who turned his world upside down. She's his blessing, his miracle. But she also came into his life through unimaginable pain.
The thought of facing another pregnancy, of holding the hand of a woman he loves and watching her go through the same thing… It's too much.
His jaw tightens as memories he's spent years burying bubble up to the surface. There were no signs. No warnings. Nothing to prepare him for the devastating loss he suffered in those few seconds that felt like an eternity. One moment, Zoe was there, smiling at him, exhausted but alive. And the next…
The trauma of it runs deep. The cold sterility of the delivery room, the quiet panic of nurses, the look on the doctor's face when Harvey realized something was horribly, horribly wrong. Those memories are etched into his bones, and the idea of willingly stepping back into that room again one day feels insurmountable.
But the truth is, he wants more—God, he wants more. He loves being a dad more than anything else in the world. He loves every exhausting, joyful, messy part of it. And the thought of sharing that experience with someone, of not having to go through the sleepless nights and first milestones alone, makes his heart ache with longing.
He pictures it sometimes, almost against his will: a partner at his side, someone who'd love Eden like their own. A woman who'd make their house feel full of warmth and laughter again. Someone who could be there for the highs and lows, who'd shoulder the weight with him. A family. A real, whole family.
It would be everything. It would make him feel alive again in a way he hasn't since the day Zoe died. But the fear… The fear never leaves.
"Are you okay, Daddy?" Eden's small voice pulls him from his spiraling thoughts.
He blinks, startled by her question, and looks down to find her staring at him with wide, concerned eyes.
"Why are you asking me that?" he says, his voice coming out more strained than he intends.
Eden steps closer, her little hand tightening around his. "Because you're crying," she whispers, her voice as soft and sad as the sound of waves in a seashell.
Harvey freezes, pressure building in his chest as he brings a hand to his face. His fingertips brush against the dampness on his cheek, and he gasps softly at the sensation. He hadn't even realized.
He doesn't know what to say, how to explain this to her in a way she'll understand. So instead, he does the only thing that feels right in the moment. He kneels, pulling her into his arms, holding her close against him.
Eden doesn't hesitate, wrapping her little arms around his neck and pressing her cheek to his shoulder. "It's okay, Daddy," she says softly, her voice muffled against his coat. "I'm here."
Her words unravel him, but he forces himself to stay steady, to take a slow, calming breath. He strokes her back gently, her curls tickling his chin as he presses a kiss to the top of her head. "I'm okay, baby girl," he murmurs, his voice thick with emotion. "I promise."
Harvey stands, lifting her into his arms and letting her rest against him as they continue down the street. "Are you excited about Ms. Donna meeting Sue?" he asks after a few moments, once he managed to compose himself again.
"Yes," Eden squeals, bouncing slightly in his arms. "I wish she was here."
He tightens his hold on her instinctively, smiling at her words. Of course Eden would wish Donna were here; Donna has quickly become one of his daughter's favorite people. But there's a longing of his own inside him that surprises him, makes him feel like a fool.
He didn't expect to miss Donna. Sure, he sees her nearly every day when he drops Eden off or picks her up from daycare, but their conversations are often brief. Just small pleasantries exchanged at the door, with her attention naturally on the children. He doesn't linger as much as he wants to, not wanting to monopolize her time or make things awkward. And yet…
As they approach the corner where Jessica's favorite brunch spot waits, Harvey gently sets Eden down on the sidewalk, and steps ahead to hold the door open for her.
The bell jingles above their heads as they enter the little cafe. It's bright and inviting, with a modern but comfortable aesthetic. Light pours in through the windows, warming the hardwood floors, and the faint hum of soft music plays through the speakers, blending seamlessly with the quiet conversations of other patrons. It's not overly busy at this hour, just as he expected—Jessica always did have a knack for picking places that feel like home.
Harvey's eyes immediately find her, seated at a table near the window with her two daughters. She rises when she sees them, her presence commanding as always.
"Jessica," he greets warmly, wrapping her in a brief but genuine hug. It's rare for him to show such openness to anyone but his child, but with Jessica, it feels natural—earned.
"Harvey," she replies with a knowing smile, squeezing his shoulder as they part. Jessica's daughters extend their hands, and he smiles as they say hello.
He steps aside to introduce Eden, who suddenly shrinks back, her small hands clutching tightly to the fabric of his pants. She peeks out from behind his leg, her big blue eyes meeting Jessica's with a mix of curiosity and shyness. Her bottom lip is pulled slightly between her teeth, a habit Harvey recognizes as her way of processing new situations.
"Hey, Eden," Jessica says gently. She crouches slightly, lowering herself to Eden's eye level. "It's so nice to see you again. And look how much you've grown. You're such a big girl now. Almost as tall as Daddy."
Eden doesn't reply, but her wide eyes soften just a bit, the corner of her mouth twitching as though she's fighting the urge to smile.
Jessica straightens, turning her attention back to Harvey. "She's beautiful, Harvey. Great job," she says teasingly, though her eyes betray a deep pride and affection. Jessica has always been like a big sister to him, a mentor who saw more in him than he ever saw in himself.
Harvey feels a swell of gratitude as he murmurs his thanks. He bends down to help Eden out of her coat, slipping off her mittens and tucking them into his pocket. "Alright, little miss," he says, gesturing toward the table. "Go ahead and climb into the chair."
Eden hesitates for only a moment before obeying, her small hands gripping the edges of the chair as she hoists herself up. Once she's settled, Harvey reaches beneath his coat, retrieving the two plush dinosaurs that have been tucked safely against him.
"Here," he says, holding them out to her with a smile. "I think they need a few cuddles after the long walk."
Eden's face lights up, her earlier shyness melting away as she takes the stuffed animals. "Thank you, Daddy," she says sweetly, her voice barely audible.
Harvey watches as she places the dinosaurs carefully on the table in front of her, arranging them so they're sitting up straight. She leans forward, her nose brushing against their soft fabric as she nuzzles them, a quiet giggle escaping her lips.
Jessica observes the scene with an amused smile, her arms folded as she leans back slightly in her chair. "You're a natural, you know," she remarks, her tone light but sincere.
Harvey glances at her, raising an eyebrow. "Don't start," he warns playfully, though a small part of him absorbs the compliment with quiet pride.
Jessica chuckles, but says nothing more, giving Harvey the space to settle into his chair beside Eden. As he sits, he catches the way his daughter's face glows with contentment, her little hands fussing over her plush dinosaurs as though they're the most important thing in the world.
One of Jessica's daughters—Harvey recalls her name is Grace, the older one at seven—has been watching Eden closely, her eyes flicking between the plush dinosaurs. She suddenly lets out a soft gasp, pointing at the green T. rex. "Hey, that's Sue!" she exclaims, her voice filled with excitement.
Eden lifts her head slowly, tilting it slightly as she studies Grace, clearly unsure whether to trust her enthusiasm. Then, as if deciding the other girl is safe, her eyes widen. She sits up a little straighter, her voice strong as she says, "She's Mr. Snuggles' wife."
Jessica's daughters giggle softly at her earnestness, exchanging a quick, amused glance.
"Is Mr. Snuggles the other dinosaur?" Grace asks, leaning forward with genuine curiosity.
Eden hesitates for a moment before carefully sliding the other T. rex across the table. Her hands hover protectively over the plush, but she pushes through her shyness. "Yes, that's him," she mumbles, her tone quiet but gaining confidence. "Mr. Snuggles is my best friend."
Harvey watches her closely, noting the subtle way she straightens in her chair. He knows that's her way of signaling she's starting to warm up to Jessica's daughters. A small smile tugs at the corners of his lips.
Eden continues, her voice clearer now, "He was lonely, so my daddy bought Sue."
"I have a monkey," the younger girl—Maybelle, just four years old—speaks up. Her voice is soft, but there's an eagerness to it, like she's excited to join the conversation. "And I think he's lonely, too. His name is Harold."
Eden tilts her head toward Maybelle, processing her words. But then her excitement about her own plush dinosaurs bubbles up again, eclipsing everything else. "Mr. Snuggles and Sue will have babies," she announces proudly, her small hands pressing the dinosaurs together as if they're already preparing for their new family.
Harvey chuckles under his breath, watching Eden's joy with a mixture of amusement and fondness. He knows she isn't ignoring Maybelle out of rudeness—she's just too caught up in her own happiness to focus on anything else.
"And they will all sleep in my bed," Eden adds with a decisive nod.
Harvey looks at Jessica, smirking as their daughters chat and bond over their toys. Jessica raises an eyebrow at him, the corners of her lips curling into a teasing smile. "Babies, huh," she says in a playful tone.
Harvey lets out a laugh. "Hey, I've got more than enough room for all of them," he quips, gesturing broadly as if to emphasize the space Eden has commandeered in his life.
After the waiter comes by and takes their orders, Jessica leans forward, reaching out to grab his hands. "How are you doing, Harvey?" she asks, her smile softening as she squeezes them. "Give me the good news first!"
Harvey hesitates for half a beat before blurting out, "I found Eden a daycare." The words tumble out faster than he means them to, and he immediately lets out a nervous laugh. Of course that's the first thing on his mind—Donna always is. Well, apart from his daughter.
Jessica arches a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, her smirk deepening. "Seeing that look on your face, I get the feeling there's so much more to that statement."
Harvey narrows his eyes at her, already bracing for whatever she's about to say next.
Jessica doesn't make him wait. "It wouldn't happen to have anything to do with a certain Donna Paulsen, would it?"
Harvey blinks, caught off guard. "Did… Did Mike say anything to you?" he asks, trying to mask his surprise.
Jessica shakes her head, her expression triumphant. "Uh-uh. But your sister-in-law was quite talkative when she called to ask how my surgery went."
"Lexie," Harvey mutters under his breath, dragging a hand down his face. "Of course that idiot can't keep her damn mouth shut."
"Hey, language," Jessica admonishes, though the twinkle in her eye shows she's more amused than annoyed. She pats his arm lightly, her tone softening. "There are kids here."
Harvey huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head as Jessica leans in again. Her voice is low, gentle but firm. "You know, I'd be really happy for you if you didn't just find a daycare, but a person. Your person."
He exhales deeply. "Yeah, I know," he murmurs, his voice quieter now. "But it's complicated."
Jessica doesn't miss a beat. "And what exactly makes it complicated?" she presses, her tone still soft but with that razor-sharp edge of curiosity that only she can wield. "Doesn't she like you back? Is she taken?"
"Jessica," Harvey says with a chuckle, scoffing at her persistence. "It's not like that, okay? We're not… I mean, she's not… It's still…" He stammers, his usual confidence faltering as he searches for the right words.
He leans his head back and closes his eyes as he tries to explain the unexplainable. It's hard to put into words what Donna is to him. Or what he is to her. All he knows is that she's different, that she makes him feel things he hasn't felt in years. She's… safe. And that thought, that feeling, terrifies him as much as it comforts him.
Clearing his throat, he tries again. "I honestly don't know what we are exactly, but I'm trying to figure it out," he says, his voice a little rough. He looks out the window, watching people passing by, then back at Jessica, his sigh heavy with vulnerability. "I'm trying to follow Lexie's advice. She told me not to run from my feelings."
Jessica smiles at him, her eyes soft as if he were her little boy and has done something that made her proud. "Good," she says simply, squeezing his arm. "You deserve to be happy, Harvey. And if Donna's the one who can give you that, don't let fear hold you back."
"You know," Harvey starts, his tone thoughtful as he rubs his palms together, "the hard part about moving on is that, even after three years, I still feel like I'm broken. And it's not Donna's job to fix me. I should be whole."
His eyes drop to his hand and he twists his wedding band slowly, the gold catching the soft light of the cafe. Harvey pushes the ring up until it rests against his knuckle, then slides it back down. The band has been a constant for so long, a tether to a part of himself he isn't ready to let go of. But he will, eventually. He needs to. He wants to.
"She's… Donna's like Eden," he murmurs, his voice quiet but heavy with meaning. "She's practically sunshine in human form." His lips press into a thin line as he continues to fiddle with the ring, his thoughts spilling out before he can stop them. "And I don't wanna pull her into this darkness surrounding me. Not when I'm not one hundred percent sure it's worth it. That I can give her what she deserves."
Jessica doesn't say anything, but Harvey can feel her sharp gaze fixed on him, urging him to keep going.
He looks up finally, his expression tinged with a sadness that makes him seem smaller somehow. His voice cracks as he admits, "But I really like her, Jessica." He swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing as he tries to regain control of his emotions. "And I love being around her. I love how she makes me feel."
The words hang in the air, raw and vulnerable, and Harvey finds himself bracing for the sting of judgment. But it doesn't come.
"Oh, Harvey," Jessica breathes, her voice soft, touched by the honesty she sees in his eyes. There's a flicker of something protective in her expression, like a sister watching a younger sibling stumble toward something they can't quite see yet. "There's so much light around you, you have no idea."
Her gaze shifts briefly to Eden, who's giggling with Grace and Maybelle, her face alight with joy as she animatedly waves her stuffed dinosaurs around. Jessica's smile deepens as she looks back at Harvey.
"One in particular is shining very bright," she says, her voice laced with warmth. "You should really give yourself some more credit, because from where I'm standing, it looks like you've come such a long way since Zoe died. You're trying to open yourself up again, to the idea of love. That's huge. You should be proud of that."
Harvey's brow furrows slightly, his fingers still resting on his wedding band. He doesn't respond right away, but Jessica can see the way her words settle over him, like seeds that might take root later.
"You may not see it that way," she continues, "because you're taking all these baby steps, but if you keep working on yourself, Donna…" Jessica pauses, a slow smile spreading across her face. "Any woman would be lucky to have you."
She lets her words sink in before she adds, "Something horrible happened to you, Harvey, but you're wrong. It didn't break you. Everything that makes you who you are—it's still there. It's just… a little out of place right now. And you're still figuring out how to put it all back together. There's no shame in that. None at all.
"And maybe you're not even supposed to do that all by yourself. Just think about how comforting, how beautiful it could be to have someone love and care for you while you rearrange the pieces."
Jessica bumps his shoulder gently with her fist, her light touch cutting through some of the tension in the air. "You know, last time I checked, you were still New York's most eligible bachelor," she teases.
Harvey snorts. "What? That doesn't even make sense. Did they miss the memo that I was married?"
"They know, honey," Jessica replies with a smirk, leaning back in her chair. "They just don't care."
"You're kidding."
"You can Google it," she says with a playful arch of her brow. "There's even a footnote somewhere that clarifies you're a widower, not a bachelor, but women seem to eat that shi—" She catches herself mid-word, throwing a quick glance at the kids. "—zup."
Harvey rolls his eyes, but there's a faint smile playing on his lips now, despite himself.
"I'm serious." Jessica's grin widens. "That's why they voted for you. People are thrilled to see Harvey Specter back on the market. And let's be honest, the whole 'still single' thing? Probably just adds to the allure."
She halts, then says teasingly, "But it sounds to me like there's a good chance that might change soon. I mean once you realize the woman who's running your daughter's daycare is the one you want."
Harvey's about to respond when the waiter arrives with their food. He exhales sharply, his shoulders relaxing as the attention shifts away from him. "Oh, thank God, the food's here," he says, his voice filled with mock relief.