After our conversation earlier this week I found myself sitting in the living room skimming through the book dad had gotten me. I looked up from my readings and gazed at him, he was seated at the kitchen table. His gaze was fixated on a letter in his hand that came in earlier this morning a large flagon of beer was in his other hand. My eyes scanned past him and saw that the cupboard door to the liquor cabinet was open and a small barrel of what I assumed to be beer was sitting on the table. There was a glossy look in his eyes, and it looked like a stormy cloud was overhead. 'Great fathers been drinking again.' I mused as a scowl came on my face. Despite his disheveled appearance he seemed to be alright and was doing decent at holding it together. It wasn't long after that he set the letter down and grabbed a piece of parchment writing a letter of his own. Curiosity was killing me, I wanted to know who he was writing to, but I knew better than to disturb him during business. It was probably his friend from the capital anyways so I just settled for scowling on the rocking chair and tried to put my mind back towards the topic at hand, my book.
Clearly, I had been staring at him for too long, as his gaze strayed from the letter he was writing and landed on me. His eyes became alert and the cloud over his head seemed to disappear as he let off a sweet smile, that immediately melted the worries of my heart, and put me at ease, "It's alright sweetie, you can come over." He said, motioning for me to come over as he wrote a few things on the letter and picked up a wax seal, placing it on the letter sealing it onto the missive.
"Dad since you are home now can we go outside? I wanna show you some of the stuff I've been learning from Magister Kaenas!" I exclaimed, excitement starting to take hold of me. The idea of getting to show off to dad the spell I finally learned was overwhelming. Dad stood up from his chair and began to make his way toward the door there was a slight sway in his step as he made his way over, I frowned slightly worried he might fall asleep outside before I can show off. I almost wondered if he would make it to the door or not. He grabbed his cloak from the hangar on the wall and turned to me. "Alright let's go, sweetie." He called out, putting any concerns about his intoxication to rest as I squealed in excitement. I bolted up from my seat and began running towards him as fast as I could manage. With my excitement getting the best of me I grabbed ahold of his hand and started running circles around him, having no other choice his body matched my movements and began to swirl in circles to match me.
Whether it was me or him who led us forward I didn't know nor did I care, but we finally ended up outside on the porch. The first thing I noticed was that it was already evening I shivered slightly, as a cool evening breeze blew through my hair. Releasing his hand from the iron-tight hold I had on him, he turned around and grabbed a cloak handing it down to me. I snatched it from his hands and ran ahead to a small clearing in the yard, putting the cloak on as I made my way over. I turned around and looked onwards in his direction, beaming with pride and satisfaction I couldn't help, but to let off a smile big enough for the whole world to see, "Look and see the greatness of my power!" I boldly exclaimed. Father looked at me with a grin across his face, he gave me the thumbs up. I noticed that daddy wasn't as intoxicated as normal, he wasn't going to pass out in the yard before I could show him all the work I've been doing, it made me tremble in anticipation and excitement!
"Let's see what you got." He exclaimed, collapsing backward and landing on his backside, hands, and legs outstretched behind and in front of him respectively.
Turning away I walked away, into the center of a small rock ring I had made in my free time when I wasn't busy doing chores taking a deep breath in I calmed my nerves and began focusing my will into the mana of my being. "It's showtime!" I Breathed out, stretching my hand outwards starting with my soul I began to channel my will through my soul and body like a river current, that was slowly picking up speed. I started to feel the effects of channeling mana as a warmth began to circulate through me, slowly yet surely, I felt myself ready and began to poor my mana into my chest creating a pool of energy. What was slow, began to pick up in speed and intensity as I felt powerful swelling sensation that flooded through my body as the idea of what I pictured beginning to form. Before I knew it that sensation began to burn hotter and hotter as I imagined a flame, but a flame that was centered in my body was of no use to me.
Without an idea of a location, it would simply stay inside my being and warm my body and without a form it would stay a mass of flames without any beauty. Remembering this from the only keepsake I had received from my mom and the tutelage of Magister Kaenas I visualized that very same river I used to channel my mana as a river of fire that traveled up and along the currents of my body until it reached the tips of my fingers. Glancing down upon my hands was the only confirmation I needed to see that my spell was working, my hands were starting to slowly turn redder and redder as an indescribable heat began building up. Getting caught up in my own excitement I had forgotten to finish channeling the mana from my palms, I hissed in pain as the heat of my mana built up to a critical mass. Without an outlet to release from, the energy started to burn my flesh, not wanting to mess up with papa watching I put my mind back to work and I channeled that energy into the tips of my fingers, and immediately felt the effects as the minor pain the plagued me was gone, replaced instead with a sensation that could be vaguely described as tingling.
Psyching myself up one last time for the big showcase. I turned to face him, standing face to face our eyes locked on each other, his eyes filled with mirth and joy, mine of intense concentration and determination.
I placed one hand just a couple of inches away from my cheek and the other directly in front of me towards his direction. "Behold it is I the flame empress of the Eversong Woods!" I shouted doing my best to inspire a sense of awe and adoration in papa, though despite my best efforts he seemed to be unamused. His head in the clouds as he seemed to be anywhere else but here. Despite this disappointment I continued on, each of my fingers beginning to slowly release the mana I had pooled into each of them. A small flame no larger than a candlestick began to flow out and mold around the shape of my fingers. To add to the effect of my fingers being lit on fire, I made a bunch of vocal sounds; that I thought added to the atmosphere.
Daddy gave me an emotionless stare as he deadpanned at me, I fidgeted in my spot as I began to sway from left to right as I changed my pose. His glossy stare that bore into me as I swayed from left, to right, to center and began to center on me as he slowly yet surely began clapping at my antics shortly afterwards. I would be lying if I said the acknowledgement, he gave didn't bring me a sense of pride and acomplishment. Yet to say I felt completely satisfied with just that would be a lie,
"Oh that's amazing I knew my daughter was gifted at magic!" He said, clapping with an amount of enthusiasm that placed a hefty chip on my shoulder, I blushed in satisfaction and embarrassment completely forgetting about the fingers that were still currently on fire as I absentmindedly rubbed my head with a hand that was still very much ignited with fire.
I hissed in pain as I jumped back from the shock of burning myself and landed on my back. I hurriedly started rolling around on the ground patting out my singed and burning hair, "I'm gonna be scarred for life and die miserable and alone!" I shrieked in terror, dad, however, found it hilarious and laid backwards as he let out a hearty laugh at my own expense. I stopped rolling around as I began to pout with embarrassment, during which I couldn't help, but to think of my mother, I couldn't make out any of her features besides a pair of pointy ears, clearly marking her as an elf, but that was the only image I had of her my whole life. What would she think if she saw me now? Would she be proud or filled with shame and regret at my paltry attempts at magic? What was once embarrassment soon, turned to nervousness and eventually sadness at the very real truth about mom. She was alive but never had an interest in my life or my existence besides a single tome I received on my 8th birthday. It was frustrating and angering, that she's never wanted to be around. I was on the verge of tears at this point. "Daddy?" I questioned, he looked at me noticing I was about ready to cry. He crawled closer to me, placing a hand on my cheek and wiping a tear away.
"Hey sweety, I didn't mean to make you feel sad and embarrassed." He said, picking me up by the waist and holding me in his arms.
"Do you think mom loves me? Will she come back if I learn to be a magistrix like her?" I questioned my voice quivering, I could feel his body tense up, time froze for a moment as he let out a sigh. He looked at me in the eyes and gave me a warm smile, rubbing the back of my head as I tried my best to hold back the flow of tears.
"I'm sure she loves you sweety, but why would you think she doesn't?" He questioned his deep baritone voice calming me as he held my head tightly to his chest. "I'm already ten years old and she hasn't even visited me once or wrote to me. The only thing I've ever received from her is this tome on magic." I nearly sobbed out; "Shh Shh" He, said, hushing my sobs as he continued to pat my head and carry me inside towards the house. As embarrassing as it was to admit, I slowly drifted to sleep as he carried me away inside.