A Sailor's Tavern Crawl, an elder scroll series fanfic

A SAILOR'S TAVERN CRAWL

From dawn till Magnus' last light fades, we're sailing or we're sleeping,
Come calm seas or white lightning strikes that set the heavens weeping,
But once we're at our destination and the day's work ends,
We're off to local watering holes to spend our dividends!

So drink up, lads! The liquid relaxation's flowing heavy!
It's time to muster up each bit of room your guts can levy!
No spills allowed, 'cause wasted drops earn no true salt's endorsement!
Hey, I don't make the rules, lads, I'm just the law enforcement!

*Oh, drink her up, drink her up, drain every mug and bowl!
'Cause whether the haze recalibrates or just sedates your soul,
You'd best enjoy what scarce free time our job sees fit to dole,
'Cause 'fore too long, we're back on the sea to rip and raise and roll!*

If Skyrim be your mooring, you've a bevy of fine choices
With which to soothe sea-salted nerves and mellow gravelly voices!
But though there's many nectars nesting in her tavern's shelves,
There's only one drink true Nords view as part of they themselves!

A sweetly honeyed draught enchanting all true sons and daughters,
Of course it's mead, round here as commonplace as mountain waters!
Drink it straight, with fruits or herbs, or fortified with dairy,
Or spiced like many of Solitude's wines, or mixed with juniper berries!

Now Morrowind's quite a queer beast when we're talking drink selections,
With lots of booze uniquely brewed to Dark Elves' predilections,
But worry not, for elven fermentation's naught to fear.
Sujamma's quite a kicking mix and mazte's decent beer.

And since it got imperialized, flin and brandy's lurking,
But staying local with fine taste don't take a lot of searching.
Come try some shein if light on coin, or if you're sitting richer,
Then greef's what you and your best mates too can chug down by the pitcher!

Variety be the name of the game in Cyrodiil's thriving ports,
So come with throats wrung dry and weller off than nobles' courts!
You've got fine beers and whiskies local breweries have mastered
And ales and mead with strength enough that one pint leaves you plastered!

Plus rarer spirits like fine wines from far as Summerset,
Or meat-based ale from Valenwood for how strange things can get,
But truly no imported gem outshines the homegrown greats,
Skingrad's choicest vintages made from West Weald vineyards' grapes!

Oh, Hammerfell's adventurous for drink aficionados,
With wines from pomegranates fit to kill lightweights' bravado,
And stoutest qishr in all shades from low to mid to high,
But no one's rounded out their journey minus Stros M'Kai!

You fancy rum? If not you will once you've spent time ashore
In Stros M'Kai's establishments, which all seamen adore!
You'll never taste a bad draft, but the sweetest versions' hooker's
Some Khajiiti inspiration with a dash of their moon sugar!

High Rock, she sits high on the coast and higher still on the list
Of oceanside oases no dry sailor man should miss!
Apart from staples local and from Hammerfell beside her,
You'll kick yourself for leaving 'fore you try her apple cider!

Be they cultivated or just foraged from the wild,
Their apples pack a punch more often strong than weak and mild!
From Daggerfall to Wayrest, every species' subterfuge
Will hit your wits and warm your blood and dye your cheeks deep rouge!

How 'bout it, lads? Was not that lap around old Tamriel
A lovely trip through regional drinks just as out on the swell?
What might your favorites be from every seaside town we made?
Or which perchance the best to rob your purse of all you're paid?

Whichever be the queen of all your liquid loves, I'd stake
That just one go around no real sailor's thirst could slake!
No time for sitting still on land, it's back on the deck with you!
We're off to light a few new flames and spark old ones anew!