A/N: Hi guys! Sorry, I was meant to update over the weekends and I actually did get this edited by Sunday, but then it got late so I stayed on it till today. Hope you're all doing well? Thank you for being patient with me. That aside, first update of 2025! Hope you all had a wonderful New year's and that 2025 has been awesome so far. I tend to just reply to guests since I can't PM them, but since I've been so bad at replying, I think I'll write brief replies to non-guests too this time round.
Review responses:
Guest: Yatsu needs all the hugs! XD
A: Haha with genius comes maturity…sometimes XD Exactly, esp considering he's almost a mirror reflection of himself. Tbh? I thought it would get tiresome for you guys if I kept repeating Daddy each time, so thought to switch up a bit and was selective when I wrote Aang as opposed to Daddy. Although I love your reasoning much better XD Wow gosh, I'm so humbled and estatic to hear that, you've made my heart very happy man, thank you – I'm so glad I could have a small part in brightening up your year. Happy New Year! Hope you're year has been off to a great start!
Vapor23: my friend you had me both grinning and almost apolegtic? I'm glad the chapter hit as hard as it did to elicit that response. Well, I thought the angst between A & K will get dry at some point, so had to add a new angle of angst huh? XD Bless your heart, thank you so much! Be proud of yourself too man, it's a new year 3
Latte28: Thank you so much man, so glad you enjoyed it! And yesss you chose my fav line to write! XD Gosh yes, there's still quite a bit of healing that needs to happen for them to move forward. Hehe that would be a fun chapter – Yatsu interacting with his parents' friends. I do have something in store of that line kind of. Nah it's impossible to figure out the right date even with genius power, I'll touch on why this chapter XD hope you enjoy this one XD
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4 Days Later:
Katara's POV:
For the first time since being discharged from the hospital, I feel strong enough to step outside. I was meant to go to shopping, but my feet take me to the graveyard. The urge to see my mother's gravestone and talk to her is so blindingly strong with an ache buried deep inside my chest. Even after becoming a mum, the ache for her never vanished. If anything, it became stronger.
I release a quiet sigh as I walk through the graveyard gates. My eyes linger on the huge gravestone monument for the Air Nomad orphanage, but to my relief it still appears in good condition. I walk up the path, only to stop when I spot two familiar backs. I slow my walking until I come to a stop.
"I didn't expect you to come out and see her." My brother comments as he stares down at our mother's gravestone.
"Well, I used to visit with Katara, before I..." The Airbender trails off with a sigh as he stares at the headstone.
"I see." Sokka hums back as he finally tears his eyes away from the stone.
"I bumped into Katara here a few months back. She was in such a rush to leave and I wasn't sure why, but I realise the reason for it now." The Air Nomad breathes out as his eyes remain glued on the stone. Sokka turns to face him with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh?" He prompts and finally my ex-husband turns to gaze at him.
"She didn't want me to see the orphanage monument." Aang replies as he glances up at the sky.
"Because it could've triggered your memories?" Sokka suggests, but the younger man shakes his head.
"Because she wanted to protect me from it." The Airbender murmurs and I inhale deeply at his conclusion.
I bite my lip, wondering if I should really be listening to their private conversation and I'm just about to step away when Aang twists his head to lock eyes with me. My heart sinks. 'Shoot. He noticed I was here the entire time.' I realise anxiously and move to close the distance between us when Sokka also turns to look behind him.
My brother doesn't seem surprised to see me and instead his gaze flickers between the two of us a few times before he steps away from Aang.
"I should be getting back home. Suki is expecting any day now. Call me if you need anything." My brother bids and when he passes by me, his hand brushes against mine in reassurance as he gives me a warm smile. 'Good luck' he mouths. The urge to grab his sleeve to pull him back so that I wouldn't be left alone with my ex-husband is so strong, but my brother vanishes before my hand can react.
In the entire graveyard, it's just the pair of us, standing face to face, but my eyes drop after several moments. Maintaining eye contact with him these days is becoming harder and harder for me.
"Katara." The Airbender utters my name and I freeze up subconsciously.
"I wanted some fresh air and I guess I found myself here." I babble, answering his unspoken question.
"I see." Aang hums back and we fall into an awkward silence. I bite my lip and turn my head to the side.
"Have you been coming here a lot?" I query after the silence stretches on for longer than I can deal with.
"A little. Tried to make up for not coming here over the years. Roku's and my parents' gravestone was in quite the state, so I cleaned it up. The orphanage monument was in pretty good shape." Aang voices and I try to shrug it off, but my face must've been a lot more transparent than I thought it was, because a moment later the Airbender inhales deeply. "It must've taken you a lot of time." My ex-husband breathes back. I try to shrug my shoulders, but my right side barely moves, so it comes out as an awkward one-shouldered shrug.
"I was going to visit my Mum's and realised it was a bit unkept, so just did a quick clean." I downplay, not wanting him to know I spent some hours on trying to restore it back to its former self. I can feel his eyes gauging me out and it takes everything in me not to turn away.
"You did a perfect job. Thank you." The Air Nomad murmurs and my eyes widen when he starts bowing in gratitude. My arm moves on its own as I pull him up.
The formality of his behaviour irks me more than I thought it would. 'Even if I said we were simply co-parents, being this formal feels wrong. Especially given our history.' I pull my hand off his arm as soon as he's straightened up.
"You don't have to thank me. It's not like I had something better to do." I mumble. Aang purses his lips, but says nothing. I bite the inside of my cheek for a moment before steeling myself to voice my next words. "Are you still mad that I hid Yatsu from you for all these years?" I whisper and the man's mask cracks at that question. His nose scrunches up as his grey orbs pierce through me.
"Why are you asking me that?" My ex-husband's tone is curt and to the point. It's enough of an answer in itself. I try not to visibly deflate at that as I clutch my right elbow.
"Before...when you found out, you didn't have your memories. But now you do." I answer and his face tightens as his gaze darts to the side and he shifts his body away from me, until he's giving me his side.
"You know, having my memories back makes what you did worse." Aang mutters and I have to bite back my tongue in response to that. "But it's not like you made Yatsu by yourself." He adds with a sigh and it's the first time he's even come close to admitting blame for what happened. I swallow.
"I didn't want to have him like that." My voice drops to a hushed whisper and the man almost has to strain to hear me. His lips part and his eyes drop to the ground, but he doesn't reply. "That night wasn't love." I add under my breath and he stiffens up before dragging his gaze to meet mine.
"What was it then?" The Airbender questions with a scratchy voice and I don't blame him. I know I'm pushing the line.
"You probably know the answer to that. You initiated it after all." I mutter as I cowardly back down. Aang presses his lips tightly together as his features becomes pinched.
"You want me to tell you that it was lust or desperation?" The man's tone takes an edge before he slumps his shoulders and runs a hand over his bald scalp. "You're probably right." He whispers and I cringe, hating that I was right.
"Yeah." I mumble as the Airbender drops his arm back to his side.
"I became scared that I'd lose my memories of you and was desperate for you to be the last one I spent my time with. So desperate that I wanted you and...I didn't think about the consequences or I guess maybe I didn't care enough about what could happen after." The Air Nomad mumbles guiltily and I flinch. 'I opened this can of worms, but I realise, I'm nowhere near as ready as I thought I would be to deal with it.' I turn my head away from him.
"Yeah, I figured that. I...I'm grateful that you went through all that to help my brother, but if you had told me then it wouldn't have hurt this much. We could've planned things better together, but..." I trail off with a shake of my head.
"I just knew you'd be furious if I told you." My ex-husband mumbles and a flare of irrational anger surges through me.
"And you think I'd be less mad if I found out later after you slept with me and left me with a child?!" I throw back bitterly and it's the man's turn to flinch as his eyes become glued to the ground. I clench my jaws for a moment before pinching the bridge of my nose. "It doesn't matter. I didn't come here to be angry with you. I just...I'm going to see my Mum's gravestone." I mutter as I move to walk past him.
"I'll be out of town next week." The Airbender's words has me freezing and I turn to glance at him.
"Out of town? For the whole week?" I ask with furrowed eyebrows. At his head nod, I find myself biting my lip hard when the implications of that hits me in one sudden swoop.
"Yeah. One of the council officials in a different city was found killed, so I need to go up and investigate." My ex-husband elaborates. My lips part to tell him not to, but I suck them in at the last moment. 'Its fine. Yatsu wouldn't mind too much, would he? His Dad has never been at any of his previous birthdays, but...' Hesitation is etched into my features and the Airbender catches it instantly as he frowns.
"That sounds important." I say offhandedly, but he's already scrutinizing my features.
"You don't sound particularly excited. I thought you would be considering you'd have a break from me." At Aang's retort, I find myself snorting and crossing my arms.
"Trust me, a break from you is exactly what I need." I fire back, but instead of being offended, his eyes turn inwards in thought.
"Come to think of it, Yatsu wanted to know if I was free next week." The Airbender mutters aloud and I freeze up when I hear that. 'Shoot. Yatsu really did want his Dad at his birthday.' I realise with a pang for the boy's behalf. The man's eyes return to mine with pursed lips.
"Is there something happening next week?" Aang asks in confusion and I cringe hard when he says that. 'I know I should've expected it. It's impossible for him to know the exact date Yatsu was born, especially considering he was premature. It's irrational, but it still stings anyway.' I close my eyes briefly and turn to give him my back.
"It's Yatsu's birthday on Thursday." I reveal quietly and the silence is almost deafening, but I make no move to turn around.
"His...birthday?" Aang croaks back and when I hear a thud, I turn around to find the man leaning heavily against one of the headstones. My lips part and I find myself subconsciously moving towards him in concern.
"Hey." I murmur as I reach for him just as sinks to the ground.
"Spirits. I didn't know." The Airbender curses as he runs a hand over his scalp. I bite my lip as I crouch down in front of him.
"Don't worry about it. It's my fault for not telling you. I...honestly, it slipped my mind to mention it. We celebrated with just the two of us for so long that I..." I cut myself off with a shake of my head.
"I'll cancel." The Air Nomad decides with a nod, but my eyes widen in alarm.
"You can't just cancel, people are depending on you." I protest and a flash of shame crosses his grey orbs.
"There's nothing much I can do for the council member, he's already..." He starts, but I interrupt him before he can continue his sentence.
"That doesn't mean the person who's out there is off the hook and his family will need closure." I point out firmly and the Airbender deflates at that reminder.
"Shoot. Katara I can't just miss my son's birthday." Aang whispers and my heart clenches tightly at those words. It takes everything in me not to agree with him. 'After all, if there's anything I'm good at, it's being selfless. Even if it means Yatsu will be disappointed, I can't in good spirits accept Aang putting the needs of others to one side.' I bite my lip and drop my gaze to the ground.
"You've got a duty to keep the peace in the region. Nothing should drag you away from that." I mutter and watch as the man's hands clench until his knuckles go white.
"This is his first birthday that I'll be around for and he wants me there. You didn't see his look of disappointment when I told him I was busy. Spirits, I told my son I was too busy for his own birthday. What kind of father does that make me?!" The Air Nomad voices loudly as the vein along his jawline throbs.
I swallow and lean back onto my heels in thought. I rub my eye as the weight around my shoulders suddenly feels a lot heavier.
"You can't wrap up what you need to before Thursday?" I ask. 'It's selfish I know, but Yatsu is my entire world. If he wants his Dad there, then it makes it hard for me to be selfless.' I chew my lip just as my ex-husband shakes his head in frustration.
"My schedule is jam-packed. Either I don't go at all or I go for the whole week." The Avatar discloses as he juts out his lip anxiously. I release a sigh and push myself up to my feet.
"I suppose you'll have to go then. If it wasn't so serious, I'd tell you to miss it, but..." I trail off when the Airbender snorts.
"Katara, you'd tell me to go even if it wasn't important. You care about people so much which is admirable, but..." The Airbender cuts himself off. I furrow my eyebrows at him as he pushes himself up to his feet.
"But what?" I prompt when he doesn't continue.
"But you don't pay attention to the people on the outskirts. Yatsu will be hurt if I'm not there. I can't do that to him. I missed so much from his life already. I have to be here for this." Aang decides firmly and I try hard not to exhale in exasperation.
"Trust me, I want you to be there because I know how much it would mean to him, but you can't prioritise what you want over your duty." I remind stiffly and his nose scrunches up as he scrutinises me.
"You almost sound jealous that I'm willing to prioritise Yatsu over being the Avatar." Aang mutters and I stiffen up at those words. I shoot the man a warning glance as I cross my arms tightly over my chest.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I grit back.
"Just as I said. I failed in prioritising you over being the Avatar, but I'm trying to fix that with Yatsu." My ex-husband elaborates and it takes everything in me not to yell at him.
"Yatsu is my son; I'm not going to be jealous of him." I retort back stiffly and the Airbender snorts again.
"Would it kill you to say our son?" The Air Nomad mutters. My hands curl into fists, but I press my lips tightly together to restrain myself from saying something I shouldn't.
"You forget that Yatsu's birthday also coincides with the day I had to give birth alone." I spit back angrily and instead of seeing the flash of rage I expected, the steam disappears entirely as his face falls in defeat.
"I... haven't forgotten." Aang whispers as he hunches his shoulders up to his ears. I release a quiet breath at the sight and drop my arms to my sides.
"Listen, I'll leave you to make the decision on whether you'll be there for Yatsu's birthday or not. I'd prefer if you finished your Avatar duties quickly and come down in time for Thursday, but I'm not going to hold it against you if you cancel. As you said, it's the first time you'll be around for his birthday. It's important to the both of you so I won't interfere." I utter.
"So, it's not important to you?" The Airbender mutters and I flinch. My gaze drops to the ground and it's an age before I finally reply to him.
"It...would be nice if you're there." I admit begrudgingly. "For Yatsu's sake." I add hastily when I spot his eyes widening in hope. My ex-husband purses his lips for a moment before scratching the back of his head.
"I'll make sure I wrap things up quickly." Aang decides with a nod of his head. It's my turn to widen my eyes as I stare at him and when he catches my expression, he shrugs.
"You're right. I can't shrug off work like it's not important, but just as much as I have a duty to be the Avatar, I also have a duty to be a father. I'm going to work hard to be able to do both." Aang utters firmly. I swallow and I have to forcibly tear my eyes away from him when I realise I've been staring for too long.
"That's...good to hear." I murmur as my features subconsciously soften as I flicker my gaze back to him.
"And I'm going to win you back." Aang comments off-handedly. I jerk back so suddenly from the unexpected announcement and I'm just about able to catch myself on a nearby headstone, but not without making my shoulder scream in pain. I grit my teeth briefly as I cover the joint with my left hand while I wait for the pain to pass. "Shoot, Katara are you..." The Airbender voices as he closes the distance between us. I angle myself away from him until the pain has dulled into an annoying ache.
"I'm fine." I mutter as I massage the joint for several moments. Aang purses his lips.
"You know you used to tell me off for saying that and you've been saying it a lot lately." The Air Nomad notes with a frown. I sigh and drop my hand to my side, but my shoulder still stings with pain.
"Well, I'll try not to say it then." I mutter as I dart my eyes away from him. I feel a hand encircle my wrist and tug me slightly forward.
"Is it really that awful for us to be together again?" Aang whispers and we're so close that I can feel his breath tickling the edge of my collar. I clench my jaws as old feelings swell up inside me.
"We've discussed this. It's not even been a month since Yun and Jin left the picture." I press firmly, but he tugs me closer until I have to crane my head up to look at him.
"What happened with Jin was a mistake. If I hadn't lost my memories, I never would've been with her to start with. You know that." My ex-husband voices in a plea, but it doesn't matter how many times he says it, I can't stop thinking about what he did with her. I slide my hand out from his grip and take a much-needed step away from him.
"We spent years apart and a long time arguing. You're trying to rush into something that will fail." I mutter stubbornly, only for the man to do the last thing I expected. His arms wrap around me in a tight hug and I find myself freezing in his embrace.
"I hurt you, I know that. I...I want to try better. Not only for Yatsu, but also for you. I still love you." At Aang's whisper, I find myself suddenly drowning and without thinking I push him back roughly as I peddle backwards as fast as I can. Flashes of images from when he said that to me the last time has me frozen in time. The last words he said to me before he lost his memories.
I shiver and grasp my biceps as I try to shove the memory out of my mind. I'm so lost in my thoughts that I don't notice the short gravestone behind me and I end up tripping. Hands snap out to catch me, but I only wince at the man's touch. He notices and as soon as I'm steady on my feet, his hands withdraw instantly.
"I...see." The Airbender croaks back thickly as he moves back a few paces. I bite my lip, but refuse to meet his eyes. "You don't feel that way about me anymore." My head snaps up so fast that I almost think my neck will break. I witness the man turning to give me his side as he rubs the back of his neck.
"What?" The word slips past my lips before I know what I'm saying.
"It makes sense. We've been apart for over 6 years and even again another 5 years with that whole Yon Rha fiasco. Shoot, I'm so stupid. I can't believe I thought you still felt that way about me." My ex-mutters as he closes his eyes briefly while I stare at him with parted lips.
"What are you talking about?" I ask in confusion as my heart starts pounding hard against my ribcage.
"You flinched at my touch and it's not the first time. I thought it was because you were mad, but...I guess it was more than that." Aang mumbles with such sadness that it tears a hole inside my chest.
I open my mouth, ready to refute his statement, but no words come out. I physically can't bring myself to correct him. 'I can't tell him that I love him as much as I did when we first met. Nor can I call him that an anger brews so deeply inside me that I don't know how to tame it. I can't tell him that his touch soothes me and yet brings me great pain. I just can't...tell him anything.' My eyes burn as I stare hard at the ground.
"You know, as much as I hate that you never told me about Yatsu, all I have to do is remember everything you went through because of my carelessness and it immediately tampers down my frustration over it." At Aang's words, I find myself cringing.
"We both made mistakes." I mumble, the first bit of audible sound I've made since he announced that crazy assumption of his.
"We did, but I made more." The Air Nomad utters and just as I open my mouth to argue, he raises his hand. "This is not me blaming myself, I'm just stating the facts. If I was honest with you right from the start about Yon Rha and everything else, we wouldn't be in this situation and..." The Avatar trails off to chew his lip. I furrow my eyebrows.
"And what?" I prompt when he doesn't speak for several moments.
"And maybe you'd still love me." His words pierce me right through the chest and it almost feels like my heart has stopped beating for a brief moment. "I was being selfish. I wanted you back, but I didn't consider what you wanted. I promise, I'll work on being a good dad to Yatsu and giving you your space." My ex-husband decides with a nod of his head.
"I..." The croak that escapes me trails off into nothing.
"I won't bother you about us being together anymore. I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable." Aang mumbles as he bows his head to me.
My throat closes up because I know deep inside me that this is definitely not what I want, but to deny it would mean he'd only expect us to be together again and I've been far too burnt for that to start right away. But my words are a garbled mess and I can't seem to get anything across that I need to.
"I should get going. The sooner I wrap up work, the sooner I'll be able to come down in time for Yatsu's birthday." The Airbender adds after a long pause and it's enough to get me breathing a little less erratically as I inhale deeply before releasing a breath through parted lips.
"Just...give me time." I whisper under my breath. The Air Nomad turns to me with a raised eyebrow.
"Did you say something?" He queries and I find myself shaking my head.
"No, best you head off. You've got a tight schedule." I lie as I give him a strained smile. The Airbender looks conflicted as he rubs the back of his neck.
"Will you be ok with Yatsu? You're clearly not completely back to normal yet." Aang asks with a frown, but I wave him off.
"It was just me and him for six years, I think I can manage." I grumble, but if anything his features tighten.
"But it doesn't have to be that way anymore. I'm here now." The Air Nomad urges and with a sigh I shake my head.
"Honestly it's fine. If I struggle, I've got my brother and Dad to chip in. Even Yun wouldn't mind." I reassure, but if anything his face darkens at the mention of my former fiancé.
"I'd rather you asked me if you needed help before talking to Yun, unless you couldn't get a hold of me." Aang mutters and I quirk an eyebrow at his obvious jealousy towards the man. I can't help the chuckle that escapes me and the man looks up in so much surprise that I have to cover my mouth with a hand.
"You laughed." Aang notes with wide eyes. I shrug my left shoulder.
"It's just amusing how jealous you can get." I comment offhandedly which elicits a raised eyebrow from the man.
"Are you saying that you weren't jealous of Jin?" The Airbender points out which effectively silences me as I drop my hand to my side with a grimace.
"Didn't you say you were going to be late for work?" I mumble to end the conversation, but his eyes remain fixed on me.
"You were jealous." My ex-husband states as his face becomes smug. I bite the inside of my cheek and refuse to say anything which prompts a sigh from the man. "I wish you'd be more transparent about your feelings with me. Tell me if I have a chance or not." Aang utters, dropping his voice to a quiet whisper. I drop my gaze to the ground.
"I...can't. A relationship isn't on my mind at the moment. I'm still...dealing with what happened with Yon Rha." I admit just as his hand brushes against mine.
"I know, sorry. I'm being selfish." Aang mumbles as he runs a hand over his scalp. "I guess I should get going." The Airbender adds as he steps away from me, but he hesitates. "Do you want me to take you back to your house?" My ex-husband asks, but I'm quick to shake my head.
"Nah, I think I'll just spend some time here for a bit." I decline as my eyes stray to my mother's headstone. Aang's eyes follow mine for a brief moment before nodding his head.
"Alright. I'll be in touch on the Wednesday to update you, but I'm hoping I'll be back in the city by then." The Air Nomad informs. I nod my head and wait until he's out of sight before slumping my shoulders. 'I don't know what I want anymore. I love him. I know I still do. But...I don't know if it's enough. It wasn't before. And now, as much as I hate to admit it to myself, I'm not in the right headspace for a relationship. I've been carrying my own load for so long and Yon Rha's kidnapping feels like the latest one to break something deep inside me.' I run my fingers through my hair, untangling the strands as I release a long quiet sigh.
"What would you do Mum?" I whisper as I stare at the headstone, but as always, the only response I receive is silence.
A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, but I promise all these bits and pieces will be worth it! Next chapter I'm undecided whether to split it or not, I had originally decided to split it because it was pretty long, but I'll see for sure – it's a bit of a difficult one to split because it runs together. If I don't split it, then the total chapter count will go down by one, but it's chapter that you will all very much enjoy XD
Favourite line to write this chapter:
"Nor can I call him that an anger brews so deeply inside me that I don't know how to tame it. I can't tell him that his touch soothes me and yet brings me great pain. I just can't...tell him anything."
Next chapter update will likely be in 2-3 weeks – it depends if I'm going away or not. If I'm not, I'll update in a week. Until then, keep well guys and see you in the next chapter.
14/1/25