The Mentalist
JanexLisbon
So sorry for mistakes and grammar... trying to get better.
I
As soon as he saw those men in the hall, he knew that they were there for something important, because of the way they walked and their rigid posture, and when they asked him to leave the office, he decided to follow the meeting he wasn't invited to by reading their lips.
"We think you're the right person for this job, Agent Lisbon..." the big tough guy said with conviction. One could see that he really believed his words. "And could help us with this undercover mission we have planned, and your profile fits what we need."
He could tell that she was happy to hear that, and that made his skin crawl. Not a good signal.
"Time is running out, please let us know as soon as possible if we can count on your help," he insisted, noting his hurry and the importance of the unknown mission. "This is something important."
The senior agent gave her a firm handshake, which she returned with the same energy, as did the other man, who barely said his last name when they introduced themselves and never spoke again.
"I'm honored, really," she said smiling. "I need to talk to my boss and analyze some things first, this is something really big and unannounced, so to speak... I'll be able to answer properly tomorrow..."
"We understand that you have commitments and pending cases, but we would appreciate it if you could let us know if you can make it," he said and finally left.
She took a seat and looked at him as he entered the fishbowl with a surprised expression on her face: they were asking her to go as an undercover agent on a mission that could take two or three months on the West Coast. One that he wasn't needed for, they were just asking for her, and he concluded that someone had recommended her.
"I never expected this!" she said, smiling. "Can you believe it?"
She knew he was watching the meeting from outside. He knew she deserved better, that she was stuck in her career because of him and her unbreakable loyalty to him, but the happiness she showed about the mission gave him a nerve he rarely felt.
"You're thinking about it..." he expressed reluctantly.
"Of course I am, why wouldn't I?" she said without thinking. "This is huge for my career..."
She was ambitious before they met, and knew that a woman of her age in the position she had at the CBI, who didn't use sex or her attractiveness to rise, was because she worked hard to achieve it, and later, when they met, put her job on the line so many times that he used to forget that she really cared about her career...
"It's on the other side of the country," he lectured to her. "Different time zone..."
She stared at him, not understanding the obvious motive why that was a stupid idea in his eyes. She shrugged. She didn't care.
"They said it could take months, probably three," remembered to her. "At least..."
He paid attention to their conversation and the few things they could reveal to her before accepting.
"Jane, this is a good job opportunity for me: I'll take it," she told him without vacillation.
He felt the anger rising, but he was trained not to show it. Besides, there was no reason that gave him the right to feel it.
"So, it's already decided," he added, still feeling indignant at her sudden determination.
"Yes, I have been waiting for this..." she confessed, "and I want to do it."
It felt like a personal insult and he didn't know what to say because she was genuinely happy about her eventual departure. His cell phone rang, and it couldn't have come at a better time. He gestured for her to take it, and she went back to her files without so much as a glance at him.
He needed to take a step back and think, to rationalize this abrupt anger that had come with her cold attitude about leaving, and he realized that this wasn't the first time he had felt that Lisbon had some kind of reserve towards him, he had ignored the signals, chalked it up to her having a bad day or him being difficult to handle, but after what had happened two weeks ago, he was completely sure that it was a fact.
He felt a little lost, he always trusted his instincts, but when it came to her lately, it was like a blind spot, he used to think he could read her, but he couldn't anymore... He had never expected Lisbon to look for another job... did she get tired of him? When she had the chance, she always told him how exhausting it was to deal with him, but at the same time she was the first to jump in and help him when it was needed... And why did they need her and not him...? They were known to be a team that worked together and solved every case they were assigned...
He didn't really answer the call and looked at her again, and usually he could find her bright green eyes looking at him as well, but she was too deep in the paperwork to notice that he was staring at her, and the heart he tended to forget he had sunk a little in his chest at her indifference... He wasn't angry anymore, he felt sad, and understood that Lisbon was more than just angry about what had happened, and that was probably the straw that broke the camel's back. At first, they both decided to ignore it, like the first time he admitted to her that he loved her, they knew that it wasn't the time to go deeper into what he really meant by it, but it seemed to be a different case.
They weren't working on a new case, at least he wasn't, and he needed a walk, fresh air, and vitamin D right on his forehead, and he decided to get it, and without anyone noticing, he left. If they needed him, they could call him.
Observing the landscape and finding a perfect spot to rest his back on the trunk under a thick tree, he sat down on the grass, exhaled with a sigh and drank from the bottle of water he had bought earlier, suddenly feeling more exhausted instead of more energized as he thought he would feel when he left the building. He soon understood that it wasn't the place, the problem was in his head and would follow him wherever he went. He realized that she had been pushing him away for a while and that she had gotten much better at her impressions and acting, because he didn't realize it until the truth bit him in the ass. Lately she never had time, or never accepted a drink, when he called her after work, she said that she was already asleep to answer the call and the latest cases she went with Cho wherever they needed to go... How could he not notice that she kept herself emotionally and physically distant from him since that day...? and thought that he missed Lisbon with retroactive effect...
His cell phone vibrated insistently and he was surprised at how much time had passed. The position of the sun was different and the time on the screen confirmed it. He checked the four missed calls, one from Cho and the others from Wylie, and put the phone in his pocket, trying to ignore the little voice that told him she wasn't looking for him because there was no missed call or message from her...
He stood up, shaking off his clothes and stretching his muscles, which felt stiff after sitting in a not-so-comfortable position. It was time to return, took a sip from the bottle, but the water was so warm it felt like soup, and spit it out, hoping no one saw him.
He walked back to the building without hurrying and saw Cho outside with his arm crossed.
"Jane," Cho said as soon as he saw him. "We have a case to solve."
He looked around, but they were the only ones there.
"And Lisbon?" he asked finally.
"She wasn't assigned," he answered dryly and concentrated on the route without saying another word until they reached the crime scene.
It didn't take long to realize that there was no case for them there, it was a crime scene staged by the alleged victim and ended as a suicide, but started like a murder after a kidnapping gone wrong and that was why they were called, but it was all for the life insurance. They weren't that far, but enough to prevent him from seeing her again that day. Her car wasn't in the parking lot, and it would be odd to just show up at her house after she didn't answer her phone, as he assumed.
"You need a ride?" Cho asked kindly, and he declined the offer.
"I'm going for a walk..." he replied to him.
"Go and get a car from this century," he suggested jokingly and just walked away.
He smiled and thought that it wasn't bad advice. He enjoyed driving, but after a while he learned that it was fun to be the passenger in Lisbon's car. It was a safe place for him, he thought of it as his place, like the couch was."
What if Lisbon said yes? What if Abbott allowed her to go? He was a reasonable man; he wouldn't stop her from going. Why would anyone stop her...? He wasn't supposed to, but thinking about that possibility made him very depressed.
Was this the beginning of their separation? If it was for sure, then he should definitely buy a car after all; the excuse of not having one to spend more time with her wouldn't work if she wasn't there to spend the time with in the first place...
He didn't notice that he had walked a long way and that a car had been following him for a while, which alarmed him, but he soon realized that it was Lisbon and smiled. He hadn't expected to see her. As if he had summoned her with his thoughts.
"What are you doing here...?" she asked in surprise. "It's late..."
"I could ask you the same thing," he replied. "I thought you were already in bed..."
"I left my phone on my desk," she showed him the device and checked it. "I needed it; oh, I got a call from you..."
She didn't ignore him on purpose, she just forgot her cell phone. That was too much thinking...
"Walking, thinking... just following the yellow brick road..." he replied and she smiled.
"Come here and think," she invited him. "I'll take you with me..."
Accepted and without expecting it, he was finally in the place he thought he wanted to be and felt comfortable and happy. He closed his eyes and was glad to experience it again.
"How was the case...?" she asked.
"Same old story as time, an embarrassed middle-aged man who couldn't tell his wife that he was broke and the best he could come up with was to simulate a kidnapping and kill himself in the hope that the insurance would cover his mess..." reported. "The wife couldn't believe it... it must be hard to know the truth that your husband chose to take his own life instead of talking to her and working together to fix it or go their separate ways... any other less extremist solution... it was just so sad..."
This day began as a prelude to a day he would like to forget, and it didn't get better after witnessing the catatonic woman holding her little kid.
"Have you ever thought about the possibility of, you know...?" she asked, clearly having difficulty saying directly what her doubt was.
He had, but hadn't been able to act on it. He didn't have the courage at that moment and considered that he couldn't do that to the people who stood up for him, especially not to her: the vision of the bodies of loved ones after such events is something no one needs. He could tell that.
"Briefly," he replied. "Not really my style..."
He could almost touch her relief at hearing that. He didn't ask her; he knew she never thought about that possibility.
"Where did you go this afternoon?" she demanded to know. "Cho was looking for you all over the building..."
"I went for a walk..." he replied simply.
"What about you and walking today...? Is that your new thing?" she joked with him.
Apparently, it was, but it didn't matter how far he tried to walk away from what was really bothering him.
"Are you going to accept...?" he asked her directly.
"Yes," she confirmed. "I wanted to officially inform you that... that's why I needed the phone, good thing that out of nowhere I found you..."
The feeling was unbearable and his heart felt crushed. She was leaving…
"Good thing, yes," he replied. "Thanks for letting me know..."
"I'm going to be out and uncommunicative for a while," she added more information, and it only got worse. "Abbott agreed, but there's a very important trial I have to attend in three weeks, I'll be back for that day... and tomorrow I'll get more instructions..."
Lisbon spoke so enthusiastically. She had made up her mind and wasn't going to change it.
"While I'm not here, I don't want to worry about this new habit of yours, walking around without any sense of direction or time," she commented, changing the subject, "you can use my car..."
That was thoughtful, as always. She used to be when it came to him.
"Your RV isn't as functional as you thought it was..." she taunted him. "Admit it..."
It was funny that she brought the Airstream into the conversation.
"That depends on the purpose," he replied. "For daily parking, it certainly sucks, but it works perfectly to avoid cheap, dirty-sheeted motels..."
Coincidentally, the light turned red and they locked eyes, and she understood what he meant by his answer. He couldn't stop thinking about the incident that day –in the Airstream-.
"That may be true," she admitted. "At least it depends on how often you change the sheets..."
The answer was rather general, she avoided a direct answer.
"Teresa, I have a question..." he finally expressed. "Did you think about getting a new job or did this just happen...?"
They were about to arrive and decided to ask her that.
"No, this is unexpected," she told him. "I wasn't looking for this, but I'm glad to have this chance..."
She wasn't lying. She wanted it.
"You're not running away, are you?" he asked to her sharply.
"From what...?" she asked sarcastically.
He didn't want to say it out loud.
"You tell me," he said, "lately I have this crazy idea that you have been distancing yourself from me on purpose..."
"That's true," she confirmed.
He didn't expect her to admit what she was doing so easily.
"The timing couldn't be better," she added without hesitation, parking in front of his Airstream. "I don't want things to be awkward between us... and I think this is good. Everything would be like before, I promise..."
"Are you sure that's what you want?" was hard to believe.
"I am," she assured.
"Okay, I respect that," he said finally.
"But you're not convinced," she concluded.
"Whatever my opinion is, you've already decided it's none of my business," he added, smiling, but not really finding it funny.
"Don't say that, I care a lot about what you think," she reiterated. "But this time it's all about me..."
"I disagree," he countered. "What happens to you affects me directly, and I'm afraid I won't be there... What if my help is needed and I can't help you?"
He wanted to tell her that having her where he could see her made all the difference in the world to him. Knowing that she would be there meant too much to him...
"What if you are the one who needs me...?" she hinted.
"That's an undeniable possibility," he realized. "Very, very real."
The atmosphere began to feel similar to the other time, the air in the car started to feel intense and hotter, and as her fierce gaze fixed on his lips, it revealed what she was thinking, and ended up being nothing different from what he was thinking, too. He leaned against her and felt her breath on his face, and it was like a second, but they kissed, though she moved her head, rejecting his closeness.
"No," she said, keeping her distance. "You're doing this because you want to keep me here. You're trying to manipulate me."
He didn't do it consciously, but it was true that he didn't want her to take the job.
"It's true," he admitted.
"That you are manipulating me with the threat of a kiss?" she exposed ironically.
"That I don't want you to go," he confessed.
"Jane..." she said his last name quietly.
She didn't have to say more, he understood. It was too late, it didn't matter if he was sincere or not, she wouldn't believe it and he didn't fight battles he couldn't win. He couldn't say he didn't make his own glory...
"Promise me you will take care of yourself, in one piece and unharmed," he almost begged. "Come back safe and sound..."
It felt strange to tell her the opposite of what he really wanted to say.
"Please stay out of trouble as much as possible and don't make things too complicated for the team..." she asked him.
"I'll try my best..." he promised to her, "and I'll be here... anytime..."
Saying goodbye to Lisbon was never his favorite part.
"You're not leaving tomorrow, are you?" he asked, wondering about this sudden possibility.
"I'm not," she replied, changing the subject. "Go to sleep, you must be exhausted after your mysterious day of walking..."
She joked and watched her smiling, not having the decency to hide that he was scrutinizing her, making her uneasy and nervous. She couldn't keep her eyes on his.
"I'll miss you," he said, ignoring that she didn't want to talk about their deep feelings.
"I'll miss you, too," she replied without hesitation, looking for his eyes and meaning it.
He left the car and gave a quick inspection over his shoulder to see her one last time and she called him and without warning and with a few steps she was in front of him and hugged him tightly.
"Don't even try to mess with my pockets," she warned to him.
"I wouldn't," he gave his word. "Who do you think I am?
Felt her laugh because he couldn't see her face, he hadn't expected it and enjoyed it, and returned the hug, wishing she couldn't forget it because he felt it in his heart and didn't want to break it, but as abruptly as this sudden gesture of affection was shown by her, she walked away, and only took about seven seconds to see her disappear into the dark horizon, and the lights of her car getting smaller with every second that passed...
.
The next day, when he arrived, she was already in the office in a private meeting with Abbott, and Cho asked to assist him in an interrogation that took longer than he had predicted, and he couldn't find her in her desk when he came out. He made some tea and sat on his couch, and when Abbott called him into his office with Cho, he knew: she was gone.
"Lisbon is absent with permission since today," he informed to them. "It was all of a sudden and we'll have to work harder to cover her... we can ask for a temporary addition..."
"Don't," he said firmly. "We can handle it."
He looked at Cho who understood. If someone replaced her, she could be assigned to another department later.
"If anything else, I'll go back to work with Wylie," Cho said indifferently and left.
"You were the one who recommended her," he accused him, seeing the mock on Abbott's face.
"And what's wrong with recommending a good, responsible, smart agent for a job she's perfectly capable of doing?" he asked to him. "Who knows, she might make a name for herself there and stay..."
He made that nasty comment because from day one he had a theory that Lisbon and he were actually a romantic couple. He thought he had realized that they were just friends, but every now and then he made observations about them being more than just colleagues.
He kept his pretense and didn't show him how awful that scenario would be for him, but he wasn't quite sure if Abbott didn't realize how uncomfortable his words made him feel.
"That's up to her," he added coolly. "Too soon to know."
Saw the sarcastic smile still on his face and wanted to punch it to erase it, but calmed that barbaric impulse...
"I didn't recommend her, but someone in a good position needed her specifically..." he finally revealed. "However, it wouldn't be a problem to suggest her name if someone asks for a qualified person..."
He challenged him, wanting him to respond to his words for some unknown reason.
"Lisbon would like to know that you think so highly of her," he said, getting up to leave the office. "Let her know that when she returns..."
"And are you sure she will be back...?" he insisted on trying to provoke him. "A professional, single, childless woman who has everything to earn and nothing to lose can do whatever and go wherever she wants to achieve her career goals... all that freedom is fascinating, and as I am confident enough to know she will do a remarkable job, maybe they will offer her a permanent stay..."
He had taken into account that he was irritating him on purpose, but that treacherous last statement made him angry.
"As you said, she is free," he said with a shrug. "She will decide what is best for her... freely."
"We'll see..." he added.
He didn't believe his detached attitude on the subject.
"Do you need anything else? We have an absent colleague and things to cover," he reminded to him, short tempered.
"That's all," he indicated. "It was strange, you know? As soon as she accepted, they practically kidnapped her... Lisbon didn't know she was leaving at that moment...
It was a relief that they could at least talk last night. Went straight to his couch and observed her empty desk and from there noticed something between the space of the surface of it and the drawers, and discovered that was an envelope. He opened it and found the keychain from Lisbon's car and a number on a post-it. It was a nineteen, and he got the message. That was the day she came back and smiled; he will wait anxiously for that day…
Would be great to know if you like the story; for your time thank you so much.