After spending a few more minutes with Jace and Izzy, they went out into the hallway to look for the others. There was a fire message waiting for them, letting them know that Magnus had been asked by another shadowhunter to look over a book of spells that had been found during a patrol. He was going to take care of it as quickly as he could, then rejoin Alec. Clary and Simon had wandered off too, but he wasn't sure where. Alec sent Jace and Izzy away too, figuring it would be a good time to have a moment alone. He promised them that he wasn't leaving the institute and would see them again soon, but he wanted to go to his office for a couple minutes to get back into the routine again.

Alec hesitated outside his office door with his hand hovering over the knob. This was the last step to getting back to normal. Once again, he was building everything up in his head and making it a bigger deal than necessary. That was something he was going to have to keep working on. Sometimes walking into an office was just walking into an office. It didn't have to be more. And when he finally opened the door, everything was just as he'd left it.

Alec walked over to his desk, running his fingertips along the edge of the wood. It was the same desk he'd sat at and hung around for years. When his dad sat behind it, it seemed larger than life. He'd look up at him in awe as he made decisions that could have life or death consequences. And now that Alec had been in the same position, he wondered if his dad ever felt the pressure he did. If he'd ever struggled with making the right decision. If he felt every failure as a weight that threatened to crush him. Maybe that was why his parents had raised him the way they had. They wanted him to be able to carry the load. Alec had, until it nearly killed him.

He walked around to where the chair was tucked neatly in its spot. It wasn't quite the throne he'd seen it as before. Alec's goal had never been to have power. He had to have it to make a difference, but the title didn't matter. At the end of the day, he was a shadowhunter, trying to do the best for everyone. If he kept reminding himself of that, maybe he wouldn't let it all overwhelm him again.

Alec pulled the chair out and sat down, letting out a slow breath. He was back and now it felt official. For some reason, he expected the phone to start ringing and alarm bells to go off, but there was nothing. Alec was back in charge and no one seemed to notice. It was actually kind of nice.

"How does it feel?" Alec looked up, finding Simon leaning against the doorway.

"Anticlimactic," Alec admitted, gesturing for Simon to come fully into the room. Simon shut the office door and sat down in the chair across from him.

"I thought about getting some balloons and banners in here to welcome you back, but I figured you'd probably hate it," Simon chuckled, leaning back in his seat.

"Good call," Alec agreed. They sat in silence for a few minutes, not really knowing what to say. It wasn't as comfortable as it had been, with the threat of interruption looming. But Alec still knew in his heart that he was sitting with a trusted friend.

"So-"

"So-"

"You go first!" Simon insisted quickly, waving at Alec to continue.

"I wanted to apologize if it felt like I dropped you as soon as I was back with Magnus. I didn't mean to, I just needed to make sure he and I were okay."

"There is no need to apologize! I totally understand. And I'm the one who portaled out right after Magnus showed up," Simon reminded him. "Besides, I didn't want to get in the way of your big reunion. Was it epic?" Alec could feel his stomach twist as he thought about the moment he saw Magnus again. It was almost as strong as the moment they reunited after Valentine activated the Soul-Sword and Alec hadn't known if Magnus was alive or dead.

"It was fine," Alec shrugged, playing it off a bit. Even if he and Simon were close now, he wasn't the type to gush.

"Really? Just fine?" Simon asked incredulously.

"Yes."

"I don't believe you. I bet it was epic."

"No one uses the term epic."

"They should when the occasion calls for it."

"Speaking of reunions, have you seen Maia since you've been back?" Alec asked. He didn't really know Maia at all, besides a few stories here and there, but he didn't want to mess things up for Simon.

"I have," Simon confirmed, keeping his face serious for a few seconds before a smile flashed across his face. "We're good."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"She was understandably a bit annoyed, but she understood that sometimes things come up. You can't really argue with a family emergency," Simon shrugged. Alec wasn't sure if Simon meant that he lied and claimed an actual family emergency or that he really had considered it one, but he wasn't going to ask. "It helped that Magnus gave me a little something to give her to help smooth things over. Some sort of perfume that werewolves love."

"I was worried that my issues might ruin things for the two of you," Alec admitted. It wouldn't be fair for Simon to give so much, just to have his own happiness taken away.

"Alec, even if Maia had broken up with me, I still would've made the same choices without hesitation. You being okay is more important than any of that," Simon said seriously. Alec shifted uncomfortably at the earnestness in Simon's voice. He still wasn't used to people declaring their care for him so openly. "While I don't enjoy the circumstances that led to it all, I don't regret a minute I've spent with you."

"Thank you," Alec said sincerely. He didn't think there would ever be a way to repay Simon for everything, but he would spend the rest of his life trying.

"Do you miss it? Being at the cabin?"

"Sort of. The lack of pressure and responsibility was nice, but the reality of it was always lurking in the back of my mind. Kind of made it hard to truly appreciate it."

"I get it. It's like when you're on a school break but know you have finals right after. Am I still enrolled in school? I should probably figure that out," Simon laughed, shaking his head. "It's weird how fast things can change. It wasn't too long ago that one of the most important things in my life was my band."

"Getting into this chair used to be the be-all and end-all for me."

"And now?" Simon asked, raising a curious eyebrow. Alec wasn't going to force anything anymore. If this was where he was meant to be and what he was meant to do, it would become clear soon enough. Until then, he was content with letting things play out naturally.

"I'll let you know when I figure it out."

"I'll be here when you do."