"So these are magic?" Alec asked, glancing down at the box in his hands. It didn't seem like something you should be able to buy in a mundane store, but stranger things had happened. Like having a sleepover that included Jace and Simon.

That wasn't to say he wasn't having fun. After the confrontation with his parents, it was nice to not be alone. And no one was putting any pressure on him to talk about anything. It was relaxed and easy, like it hadn't been for so long. Maybe nights like this wouldn't be so rare in the future.

"No, it's just branding. There aren't actually charms and they don't bring you luck," Simon explained, handing him a bowl.

"I could definitely take a leprechaun in a fight," Jace bragged, gnawing on the end of his meat stick. Alec had no idea who Jim was, but apparently he had a good product. He poured some of the cereal into the bowl, scrunching his nose as the smell of sugar wafted up.

"Children eat this? Like, as a meal?"

"Yeah. I used to eat it all the time as a kid," Simon confirmed. That explained a lot. "Try one of the marshmallows." Alec cringed, before tossing one of the pieces in his mouth. He didn't know what the flavor was supposed to be, but it was shaped like a rainbow. He crunched down on it, scrunching up his face as it stuck to his teeth.

"Did you like it?" Izzy asked, looking up at him as she held a bowl of ice cream.

"It's not the worst," Alec shrugged, hiding the fact that he actually liked it a lot. There was no way he'd ever go into a store and buy something like this himself, but maybe Magnus could magic some into the loft.

"Practically a glowing review from you," Izzy grinned, reaching over to nab one for herself. Alec had to force himself not to jerk the bowl away to hoard them all from the others. Sharing wouldn't hurt too badly.

"Now what? I gotta say, my sleepovers had a lot more action," Jace gloated.

"We can play another game? We got a whole stack of them," Simon proposed, waving over at the pile of cardboard boxes.

"I think I'm gonna sit this one out," Alec said, standing up with his bowl safely tucked in his hands. "Maybe I'll try this with milk like you say it's usually done."

"Are you sure? We can wait for you," Simon offered, poking through the selection.

"No, you can go ahead. I'll get my turn later," Alec shrugged off. If the next game was anything like Life, he needed a bit of a break. Who knew something for children would make him start thinking of the future so much? He and Magnus hadn't really had the kids conversation that in depth before, but now he had those thoughts swirling in his head. It was too soon for that though and Alec was still getting his footing with everything back, so it could wait. But the idea was interesting.

Alec walked over to the fridge, grabbing the carton of milk and pouring some into his bowl. He stirred the cereal a little, making sure all the pieces got submerged. There was something soothing about losing himself in the little tasks sometimes. It was like when Magnus would do something by hand, instead of using magic.

Alec took a bite of the now wet cereal, thinking as he chewed. Doing things just for the pleasure of it all was nice, when he pushed aside the feelings of guilt that still popped up occasionally. It was easier now, since no one was expecting anything of him at the moment. Before, he'd fill his mind with things he could accomplish the next time he had the chance. Right now, all that mattered were his taste buds.

"What's the verdict?" Izzy asked, sauntering into the room with her empty bowl.

"I think I like it better dry," Alec shrugged, shoveling the rest in his mouth quickly. At Izzy's amused stare, he shrugged again. "I don't want it to get soggy."

"Uh huh," Izzy laughed, setting her bowl in the sink. She kept sneaking glances at him as she rinsed it out and Alec could tell she wanted to say something, but probably didn't know how to start. He hoped it was just because she couldn't find the words and not because she was afraid of his reaction. Being open and honest was the goal now, wasn't it?

"So?"

"So what?"

"What is it you want to say?" Alec prodded.

"Nothing." At Alec's disbelieving look, Izzy finally cracked. "I don't want to ruin game night."

"Game night only started because our parents made me want to go onto the roof and shoot arrows until my fingers bled," Alec huffed, immediately wincing at how flippant that sounded. Especially when Izzy seemed to pale a couple of shades. "Sorry."

"Do you do that a lot?" Izzy asked carefully. Alec sighed, leaning back against the counters.

"I guess it depended on what was going on. If things were stressful at the institute or if I did poorly in training. If I needed to get my mind off of things or felt the need to punish myself," Alec admitted. It felt harder talking about this at home, instead of at the cabin. The open space and quiet helped put him at ease, as much as that was possible for him. Magnus really had picked the perfect spot to send them. "But I'm not planning on doing it anymore. I felt like I wanted to, so I called-"

"Simon."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. If I'd been there for you recently like I should have, maybe you would have felt comfortable enough to call me," Izzy said simply. Alec still felt the words stab into his chest. She was putting the blame on herself, but it hurt him all the same.

"I never wanted you to have to worry about me. Or take care of me. It was my job to take care of myself."

"And how did that go?"

"Not well," Alec scoffed. "But even if I knew how to ask for help, I had no idea how to put into words what I needed help with. Life in general? Existing?"

"Was it really that bad?" Izzy asked, moving over to stand next to him. Their arms were brushing against each other and it was comforting.

"I still don't know sometimes. When I look back now, it feels like I was overreacting to some things. And other times, I can't believe I survived another second," Alec confessed, letting out a shaky breath. The night he'd gone to those demons had been the worst choice he'd ever made, but it was also the thing that got him on this new path.

"I can't believe I didn't notice. Maybe I didn't want to notice," Izzy sniffled, raking a hand across her eyes.

"We've all been going through a lot," Alec said seriously, staring down at his sister. "I'm so sorry I didn't notice what was going on with you either. If I'd known-"

"I didn't want you to know," Izzy cut in, shaking her head.

"Why? Maybe I could've-"

"It was so many things. I was ashamed of myself for falling so far. I was in denial that it was that bad. I thought I could handle it myself. I didn't need to give Mom another reason to look down on me. I didn't want to fall further in your shadow." Alec sucked in a sharp breath, wrapping his arms around his stomach. "Alec-"

"It's okay."

"It's not. It wasn't your fault or mine how we were raised. I never should've held that against you."

"I have always been jealous of you," Alec admitted, flashing a brief, self-deprecating smile. "You're so smart, and fun, and people love you the moment they meet you. You fit so naturally into every role you step into. I feel like I've had to work so hard for everything I've ever gotten and still, it doesn't feel good enough. Like I'm never all I'm supposed to be."

"I only pretend to have my stuff together. I wish I believed it as much as you do. And that Mom did."

"The way she treats you isn't right. How hard she is on you. I should've confronted her about it, but I thought that since you're Dad's favorite, it wasn't so bad."

"Again, not your job. And since when does she listen to us?"

"So we make her listen. Both of them. They may be our parents, but we're adults. They've made so many mistakes, the same as we have," Alec said firmly, crossing his arms across his chest. "We're supposed to submit to them, but they've been training us to be fighters from the moment we were old enough to pick up a blade. I can't do it anymore. I can't be the leader I'm meant to be when one word from them can bring me to my knees."

"Is that what happened earlier?" Izzy asked, leaning over and resting her head on his arm.

"Sort of, but I wasn't really ready for it. I tried to open up to them about it, but maybe I was too confrontational about it. They might've had a better reaction if I hadn't caught them off guard," Alec shrugged. It wouldn't be easy for even the best parents to hear what Alec had told them earlier. And after a lifetime of Alec most often taking whatever they had to say about and to him without a word in argument, they were probably too stunned to really absorb what he was saying to them. That was what Alec had to cling to right now. If he found out that they truly didn't care, he wouldn't be able to handle it.

"That's not an excuse."

"Maybe, but it's an explanation. I can't make any decisions for you, but no matter how much they've hurt me, I have to give them another chance. The only reason I'm still here is because I got a second chance. If I can forgive myself for my shortcomings, I can forgive them too."

"Can you forgive me too?" Izzy whispered. Alec moved to stand in front of her, crouching down so they were eye to eye.

"There was never anything to forgive." Izzy surged forward, wrapping her arms around Alec's neck and holding him close. Alec submitted to the embrace, tucking his face into her shoulder and breathing in deeply. He still couldn't believe how close he'd gotten to never feeling this again. And from damning Izzy to living in a world where she'd never feel it either. He had to live for himself first and foremost, but being there for others who loved him was a good reason to consider as well.

Alec wasn't sure how long they stood there before Izzy finally pulled away. She huffed out a small laugh as he wiped the tears from her face. Izzy reached up and did the same for him, even though he hadn't realized he'd been crying as well.

"We should do this more often."

"Which part? The talking, the crying, or the hugging?" Alec joked.

"All three."

"With hopefully less crying."

"It doesn't matter, as long as we're doing it together," Izzy declared, visibly pulling herself back to her normal, confident form. "There's probably more we need to talk about."

"Probably," Alec conceded. A couple decades of the life they'd lived so far meant they'd barely scratched the surface. And she still didn't know all the details of what he'd been through and what he'd done. The same was true the other way around. But even if they weren't ready to dive that deep, this had been a good start. And since Alec was planning on sticking around for a long while, they had time.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom and try to make myself look presentable again. Meet you back with the others for another game?" Izzy asked, dabbing at the corner of her eye where her makeup had smudged.

"Sure," Alec agreed. Izzy smiled, reaching up to cup Alec's cheek before walking out of the room. Alec slumped against the counter as soon as she was gone, feeling emotionally and physically exhausted. But he also felt another weight lift off his shoulders. He'd been confident before that his relationship with his sister would get back to a good place, but now he was almost sure of it. They'd been able to be honest with each other, even when it hurt. Even when staying silent and pretending everything was okay was easier. These talks still felt like something he had to do, instead of feeling natural, but hopefully that would start to shift soon.