This fan fiction is going to be starting in new moon right before Bella leaves to go save Edward. Rated M for some scenes and Language. The scene starts when Alice leaves and Jacob is at the door. The first few chapters will be very similar to the book I'm tweaking a few things here for bigger changes later. I will also be skipping some chapters with small summaries we all read the books so we know what happened. (I do not own any right to the twilight books this is just my own what if story.)

AS I opened the door finding Jacob there, I wasn't surprised. Never bet against Alice. He stood there wearing his Sam like mask and i wanted to smack him. I noticed his hands were shaking and I felt a little bad, but just a little. I know this is hard for him and I know this also was breaking his heart a little. I just couldn't stop hurting him. My mind went back to what i had been thinking before maybe I could try. When I noticed the Rabbit idling out front and Embry and Jared sitting inside my anger re surfaced. They didn't want him to come here.

"What do you want Jacob?" I asked much more venom in my voice then I had intended.

"Are you alone I need to talk to you?" HE said his lips tight as the words came out.

"Yes she is gone and of course you can talk to me Jake, Come in," I said my voice softening just a little bit.

"Slumber party?" He asked when he noticed the blankets in the living room. His face screwing up in a disgusted expression.

"Yeah, What's it to you," I replied matching his tone.

I could see it in the jerky way he moved and his limbs still quivering that he was agitated. I followed as he walked into the kitchen.

"Jacob are you going to get to the point what do you want," I huffed getting annoyed but also I hated how on edge he was.

"I don't like having to be here," He gritted out between his teeth.

"Then I am sorry you had to come, why don't you tell me what you have to say so you dont have to endure it anymore," I know I sounded like a bitch but my blood was starting to boil. I wanted them both in my life and I know it sounded selfish but Alice wasn't a threat and neither was Jake they both needed to chill.

"Is it only one of the Cullens staying here," He asked.

"Yes, its just Alice," I replied.

"How long?" He muttered his eyes locking onto mine now.

"As long as she wants to," I sneered back.

"Will you tell her about... the situation with the other, Bloodsucker," He spit out.

"I have already told her," I replied.

"With her here, I cant protect you anymore Bella. The treaty is back intact. If there was an attack, I can't protect you," He said stepping towards me and grabbing my hand his skin burned so hot and I could see so many things in those chocolate eyes. Anger, yes but also I could see fear and love.

"I understand," I whispered squeezing his hand once before letting it go. I watched as he struggled with what he was going to say next.

"Is he? Are any of the other Cullens coming back?" He asked his voice breaking just a tiny bit.

"No, I don't think so anyways," I said looking into his eyes once again.

"Well i guess that's it," HE said. His voice like steel, in the way that always reminded me so much of Sam and the anger flared once again I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Well, if that is all you needed why don't you go running back to Sam. Go tell him the scary monsters aren't coming to get you," I said turning my back to him.

'Okay," He said and he left the kitchen. I sat waiting to hear the front door open and close but I heard nothing just the ticking of the clock on the wall.

My mind started to spiral. How did things get so messed up so fast. What if he didn't forgive me after this. Alice would leave and again I would be alone and I relied too much on Jake I didn't know what I was doing. I had my face in my hand when I heard him speak again.

"Bell?" He asked his voice sounding troubled.

I pulled my face out of my hand to see Jacob standing in the door way. He hadn't left me, when i looked to my hand i realized a few tears had escaped and I quickly whipped my hand on my jeans.

Jacobs face was no longer calm he looked anxious and sad he swiftly walked back to where I was standing.

"I broke my promise again," He said softly whipping a tear that was still on my cheek.

"It's okay, I started it this time," I replied.

"I know how you feel about all of them, It shouldn't have taken me by Suprise, I let my own feelings get the best of me," He said there was revulsion in his eyes. I could see that he was trying. I wanted to tell him that Alice was different and she was good, fun to be around and loving. I knew none of that would really matter and there was no point in saying it, looking at him I knew this was not the right time to push for more from him.

"I am sorry Jake," I whispered reaching up to touch his face softly. As though i could flatten out the un happy lines that have appeared on his face.

"Lets not worry about it Bells. She just visiting once she leaves everything can go back to normal," He said and the statement both hurt and warmed my heart. That is what I had been afraid of that this fight would break us apart and I would lose him.

"Can't I be friends with both of you," I asked stupidly hopeful.

"No, I don't think you can," He said shanking his head slowly.

"But, you will wait right?' I asked panicked again. "You will still be my friend even though I love you and Alice right?" I said not able to meet his eyes i looked down at our feet. I didn't want to see his reaction to my words i held my breath waiting for him to answer.

"Yeah, I'll be your friend," He said tightly again. I could hear the sneer he put on the word friend. I knew what he wanted. I knew he wanted more and I have been thinking so much lately that maybe I could give him more.

"Promise," I whispered.

"Yeah, I promise," He said winding his arms around me and holding me tight to his war chest. He sniffed my hair "Eww."

"What?" I asked loudly as i pulled away from him. "Why does every one keep doing that I do not stink," I said.

"Sorry Bells, but you do. You smell like them sickly sweet it burns my nose," He said wrinkling his nose.

"Really, Alice keeps saying I smell too. I think you both smell amazing," I said only half talking to him. I walked back into his arms and rested my head on his chest listening to his heart beat. I was going to miss him so much when he walked out that door. I really didn't feel fair to me. A part of me wanted Alice to stay forever, I was so happy to have my friend back but I also could not imagine not seeing Jake for any length of time. This is such a mess. As if he was reading my mind jake started talking.

"I am going to miss you Bells, I hope she leaves soon," He whispered.

"It really doesn't have to be this way Jake," said looking up at him.

"Yes it does Bella, you love her... Its better if I don't go anywhere near her, I don't wanna hurt your friend and then have you mad at me. We are enemy's that's the way things are," The smile that crossed his face was fun a child like it made my heart worm a little. With jake around the whole inside of me barley ever hurt these days. It was still the always and I think it always will be but the pain was much more tolerable these days. I thought back to the reckless way I had acted and felt ashamed. How could I do that to my parents, or to him.

I pulled back glaring at him again.

"I do not like the way things are," I said stubbornly. He reached out grabbing my chin.

"Yeah things were a lot easier when we were both human," He said quietly.

I sighed feeling the heat of his skin felt nice. I knew he could see the wistful sadness in my eyes i didn't want to say goodbye to either of them. I could see the same emotions reflected in his eyes. He released my face and his expression changed. He ran a finger down my cheek bone and then started playing with a piece of my hair. The touched blazed across my face even after he removed his finger and i felt a fluttery feeling start to stir in my stomach. It has been a while since I felt anything like that stirring inside of me.

"Bella," He whispered. I was frozen in place. Feeling in me rising to the surface that I had not allowed. I wasn't ready for this yet. I hadn't decided what the right thing to do was. I would be a fool to think a rejection at this moment could be repaired i needed to make a decision now.

I stared at him, this boy, well man pretty much. I could see the love in his eyes. I remembered all of the time spent together how it had healed me. I felt safe and happy when I was with him and was also feeling a little jittery. I think I wanted this. There were so many things that needed to be said. I needed to tell him how I was broken and that I think he deserved more but I do think I could fall in love with so much of what was left of my heat already loved him. He wasn't mine, but he could be if I wanted it. It could be easy; everything was so easy with Jake. I was already so use to him touching me I knew this would be more. He was bending his head down towards me and before I knew what I was doing I stretched up on my tip toes to meet him in the middle our lips met briefly. The warms igniting between us.

I threaded my arms behind his neck and he gripped my waist tightly pulling me deeper as our lips met fully, I opened my lips and his tong was dancing around mine. I felt completely breathless. Never had I kissed anyone like this.

The shrill ring of the phone made us spring apart. I was left feeling a little light headed and Jacob reached to answer it. His hand still on my waist and his eyes till staring into mine. I knew he planned to resume and my heart squeezed wanting that very much.

"Swan residence," He said a little breathless and husky.

As the other person began talking everything about Jacob changed, he stood up straighter and became stiff and rigid. His hand dropped from my body and I could feel my own body reacting to the tenseness of his. IT took my mind a second to catch up to what was going on. It must be Alice. I held out my hand for the phone.

"Hès not here," He said sounding strained.

The was a short pause where the other person was speaking. "He's at the funeral," Jake spit. Then Jacob hung up the phone. "Filthy bloodsucker always in the way," He said backing away from me and the trembling started through his body again.

"Jake, what the heck you can't just answer my phone and hang up on someone its rude. Who was that?" I Demanded. Now feeling even more conflicted after what we had just done.

"Hey, chill he hung up on me it was the doctor," He said seeming a little calmer now. I walked towards him slowly trying not to think about Emily and her beautiful scared face. I ran hand down his chest slowly. I felt him tremble once and then the rest of the snaking slowed.

'Jake, you should have let me talk to him," I said sternly. I was confused in my head and heart but i knew firm boundaries were a must. Maybe that is what had happened with me and Edward. I had loved him so much, so completely and I always felt like i was lacking that there were never any boundaries I gave it all to him and kept nothing for myself. When he left everything left with him and I was empty and broken. I would never give myself to another so completely but I have decided that I want to try giving some of myself to jake.

"He didn't ask for you," He said looking as confused with the situation as I was but he did grab hold of my hand holding it tightly where it was still on his chest. "He asked for Charlie Bells, I was perfectly polite," HE did flash me a small grin the anger that had sent him shaking before was gone now.

"Ok Jake but this is my house, I answer the phone not you," I said staring him down making sure he understood.

"Would you like to resume," He said as he leaned back to me. I giggled despite myself and pressed my lips to his. He jerked back as if he had been shocked. Then looked over his shoulder as if someone had called his name on edge again. I instinctively took a step back. "What is it jake, what's wrong," I asked my voice panicked.

"Bye bells," He said shooting towards the door. I felt dumbstruck but i followed him.

"What is happening," I said running into a rigid Jacob frozen in my entry way. "Owww," hitting Jacob so hard I bounced off of him and landed on my butt. Looking around him I saw Alice standing frozen as well standing at the bottom of the stairs. I scrambled to my feet.

"Alice what is wrong?" I asked fully in a panic now as i rushed around Jacob he moved like he was going to stop me but thought better of it. I grabbed her hand and looked in to her brilliant caramel-colored eyes.

"Edward," Was all she said but my blood ran cold.